4

Kuch baatein shabdon se nahi, dil se samjhi jaati hain. Is ankahi ishq ke jaal mein fasa dil kabhi bahar nahi nikal paata.

Naira’s pov

It’s been two months since my life took such a strange turn. I’ve been living with Yuvaan, who somehow seems to love me and hates me at the same time. My parents are still upset. They haven’t spoken to me since my marriage to Yuvaan, and though it hurts, I keep hoping that when our baby arrives, they’ll be normal again.

But even more confusing is Yuvaan himself. For years, he was my boss who is a demanding, difficult man. Now, he’s my husband, but even after these few months, I feel like I hardly know him. There are so many pieces of him I just don’t get. I talk to him every day about the baby, I share names I like, ideas for the nursery, tiny clothes I’ve found that make me excited.

I want him to share in this joy, to feel the excitement of becoming a parent. But he doesn’t seem interested at all. He barely reacts, and honestly, I don’t even know if he cares about this baby as much as I do.

I remember when I first told him I was pregnant, he showed me so much care. He was protective. But after we got married, that care seems to have faded. He comes home, he’ll kiss me, sometimes we’ll be intimate, not sometimes but most of the time, and then he’ll pull away just as quickly, like he’s completed some checklist. It doesn’t feel loving.

It feels like he’s doing it out of obligation or habit, not because he truly wants to. Whenever I bring it up, asking why he’s so distant or why he doesn’t seem involved in our baby’s future, he just brushes it off, saying he loves me and that I’m being too critical. But I can’t shake this feeling that he’s hiding something or maybe that he just doesn’t care as much as he claims to.

And then there’s Dev. He was such an important part of my life, and I haven’t seen him since the day Yuvaan and I got married. That last time I met him, he gave me this rudraksh bracelet, telling me it was a symbol of our bond. He told me to take care of myself, even gave me advice about pregnancy, almost like he was looking out for me in his own way. But then he disappeared. No calls, no visits. Nothing.

Yuvaan told me yesterday that Dev is supposed to come by today, that he’s been away visiting his family, but it feels so strange. Why wouldn’t Dev reach out even once? We were so close, and it’s like he vanished overnight.

I don’t understand any of this. I feel lost in my own marriage, with so many unanswered questions and so much uncertainty. Yuvaan says he loves me, but his actions feel empty. And Dev, someone I trusted deeply, is just gone without a word.

I sat on the bed, carefully rubbing ointment on the bruises I’d gotten from last night. Yuvaan calls them love bites, but to me, they feel more like bruises that won’t go away. He bit me hard on my neck, insisting it was just a mark of his affection, but there are so many marks like that now. Some of them still hurts, while others are fading into a constant ache.

Every night he comes home late, and it’s as if he’s got this wild, restless energy. He barely speaks before he’s touching me, pulling me close like he’s got something to prove or like I’m something he owns.

When we first got together, I thought he was passionate, intense but affectionate in his own way. But lately, that intensity has shifted into something I barely recognize. He says it’s because I’m pregnant, that my hormones mean I need more intimacy, but the way he acts, it’s almost as if he’s forgotten there’s more to us than just that physical connection.

He doesn’t stop when I ask him to, even when I tell him it’s too much. Instead, he just keeps going, like he’s in some kind of trance, pushing me past any comfort I have left.

A few nights ago, we had sex, he told it was for my pleasure. But he left it in me all night, even after I fell asleep. The next morning, I felt sore, and walking was difficult. It’s like he didn’t think about how that would feel for me later. I know he says he loves me, that he’s just expressing that love, but each time I see that look in his eyes, it feels like something has changed.

I don’t recognize the man in front of me sometimes. He’s still Yuvaan, but there’s a darker side to him now, one that seems driven by a need to control rather than to care.

I was sitting on the bed, still feeling sore, when I heard the sounds of the maid in the kitchen. Yuvaan had hired her, insisting that I shouldn't do any household chores, that he wanted me to rest and focus on the baby. I knew it was his way of showing he cared, but it made me feel strange sometimes, almost like I wasn't allowed to be part of my own life.

A few minutes later, I heard him come in from work. The first thing he did was find me, wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me close, and kissing me with such intensity, like he was starving for something.

His grip was tight, almost too tight, and I tried to whisper between kisses. "Yuvaan please stop the maid is here." But he didn't listen. He kept going, his kisses growing louder, filling the whole room, as if he didn't care about anything but his own desire.

As my pregnancy has progressed, my growing bump sometimes makes it hard to stand close to him or to kiss comfortably, but he doesn't seem to notice. It's like he can't even see me anymore, just what he wants from me. I told him again, trying to pull back and hinting that this wasn't the place for it.

He finally stopped, looking around and realizing that the maid had seen us. I felt embarrassed and a little uneasy, but instead of calming down, he turned to her and, in a harsh, angry voice, threatened her. "If you look at us again I will poke your damn eye balls."

I was shocked. How could he say something so cruel? How could he make such a scene in front of her just for looking? He stormed off, and I went to the maid, apologizing softly, trying to explain. I told her he's just under a lot of stress at work, that he didn't mean it, even though I wasn't sure if I believed my own words.

Then I went to his room, my heart pounding with frustration. "You shouldn't have yelled at her like that," I said firmly. Yuvaan looked up at me, his expression darkening. I took a shaky breath, trying to hold my ground. "Why are you acting this way, Yuvaan? You're barely caring for me or the baby," I continued, letting out all the frustration that had been building up. But he just stared, silent and cold.

I scolded him more, hoping he'd understand how hurt I felt, but then he looked at me with that same dark smirk, the one that sent a chill down my spine. I swallowed, suddenly nervous as he stepped toward me.

Before I could move, he'd pinned me against the wall, his lips crashing onto mine in a forceful kiss. I struggled to catch my breath, feeling overwhelmed, and finally pushed him away with all the strength I had. He stumbled back, falling onto the bed and landing hard on his elbow.

"I'm sorry," I said putting my hands on my mouth in shock. But before I could say anything else, he pulled me close again, bending me over the bed and pressing his mouth to mine.

His hands gripped my wrists, pinning them above my head, and I felt trapped, his intensity making it hard to breathe. As he kissed me, his watch pressed into my forehead, and I felt a sharp sting. "Ah, your watch."

The pain grew as the watch dug into my skin, and I could feel a warm trickle of blood. I cried out. "Yuvaan stop it's hurting me." But he didn't seem to hear me, lost in his own world. Finally, he pulled back, and I soon stood in front of the mirror, touching  my forehead where his watch had left a bloody mark.

I looked at him, feeling a mix of anger, confusion, and hurt. But by then, he had already come back with a first aid kit, gently cleaning the wound. "I am sorry i didn’t knew you got this much hurt." It was such a strange, twisted moment-one second he'd hurt me, the next he was carefully tending to the injury he'd caused. This man is unbelievable.

He can be so cold and intense, leaving bruises and marks as if I'm nothing more than his possession, and then he turns around, acting as if he cares, saying sorry as if that could fix everything. I don't know who Yuvaan really is anymore, or what any of this means for us, for me, for our baby.

■

An hour later, I found myself sitting on the couch in the living room, holding my baby bump and chatting softly. Yuvaan was beside me, his hand resting on my waist while his other hand tapped away at his laptop. His touch felt… strange now. It didn’t always feel like this; there used to be comfort, but now it’s different, almost unsettling, and I can’t figure out why.

Just then, Yuvaan’s PA came in and said, "Sir, Dev sir is here." To my surprise, Yuvaan’s face didn't show any reaction, as if it didn’t matter. But I felt a little spark of excitement. Dev was a close friend, someone who had always been there for me.

When Dev walked in, I got up quickly, leaving Yuvaan on the couch. I met Dev halfway and gave him a quick side hug.

At that moment, Yuvaan joined us, and they exchanged a hug. Yuvaan asked Dev about his parents, to which Dev replied, "They’re doing well." Then Yuvaan’s phone rang, and he looked at us, saying, "I’ve got to take this." He left, and suddenly it was just Dev and me.

We sat down, and the first thing Dev noticed was the bruise on my forehead which I got from Yuvaan’s watch.

"What happened there?" he asked.

I quickly brushed it off. "Oh, I just hit my head on the cupboard," I said, trying to sound casual. But his eyes narrowed, and I could tell he didn’t fully believe me.

Instead of pressing, though, he changed the subject. "So, how’s the baby doing?"

I relaxed a bit, smiling as I answered, "Great." Then, to my surprise, Dev shared something that caught me off guard.

"I’ve been talking to your parents," he said gently. "Trying to help them come around. Your dad’s still angry, but your mom… she’s starting to soften."

Hearing this, a wave of emotion washed over me. "You’ve been doing that for me?" I asked.

He nodded. "Of course. I just want to help."

It struck me then—no one had ever done something like this for me, not even Yuvaan. Dev’s efforts, made me feel a kind of care I hadn’t felt in a long time.

Dev looked around the room, and then focused his gaze on me with a serious expression. "Naira, are you… are you in love with Yuvaan?" he asked.

The question hit me hard, and I felt a lump form in my throat. I wanted to give him an answer, but I couldn’t. Do I love Yuvaan? The truth was, I don't know. I hesitated, my silence saying more than words could. Dev seemed to notice, his eyes searching my face for any hint of clarity.

After a moment, he spoke softly. “If you’re not in love with him, then why are you still here?”

I looked down, feeling a wave of sadness. “I don’t have a choice, Dev,” I whispered, barely able to meet his gaze. “I don’t have anywhere else to go, and… leaving feels impossible.”

He watched me for a moment. "Naira, you always have a choice,” he said gently. “Don’t stay somewhere that makes you feel trapped. You deserve more than that. You deserve to live with someone you love, someone who likes you."

His words struck a chord within me. No one had ever put it so plainly before.

Dev smiled and pulled out a bouquet of my favorite flowers, holding it out to me. I gasped in surprise.

“These are for you,” he said softly. “I’m sorry for being away so long.”

I took the flowers, but I wasn’t ready to let him off that easy. “You didn’t even call me!” I scolded, raising an eyebrow at him.

He just grinned and placed a box of my favorite chocolates in front of me.

I shook my head, not letting him get away that easily. “Oh, so one box of chocolates is supposed to make everything better?” I teased, folding my arms.

Dev chuckled and put another chocolate box in front of me. “How about two?”

I rolled my eyes, pretending to be annoyed. “Still not good enough,” I said, trying to hold back a smile.

He laughed and placed yet another chocolate box in front of me. “Three? Or do I need to keep going?”

I finally laughed, unable to keep up the act any longer.

He looked at me warmly. “I brought all these just for you, and your cravings,” he said with a grin. “I know you can’t resist them.”

I shook my head, smiling. “You know me too well,” I replied, feeling the frustration melt away and I soon opened the chocolate box and started eating them.

Just then, Yuvaan came back after finishing his call. I couldn’t wait to show him the chocolate boxes Dev had brought for me. I grinned and pointed to the boxes front of me, saying, “Look at all the chocolates Dev got me.”

Yuvaan looked at the boxes and then smiled at Dev. He walked over and placed his arm around me, pulling me closer. “Thank you, Dev,” he said, his voice warm. “Thanks for bringing all of this for my wife.”

I couldn’t help but wonder why Yuvaan was acting so casually about it, especially since he’d been distant lately. But I brushed it off, turning to Dev, expecting him to react with a smile.

But instead, Dev’s face suddenly changed. His expression shifted from warm and friendly to something much duller. It was as if a cloud had come over him, and I could see the light in his eyes fade.

I noticed the change immediately, and it confused me. Why was he acting like this? What had happened in just a few seconds to make him look so down?

Yuvaan, still with his arm around me, turned to Dev with a teasing smile. “So, how many more days are you going to stay single, Dev?” he asked casually. “You should find someone, get married, you know?”

Dev didn’t respond right away. Instead, he just gave a small, forced smile and muttered, “Maybe someday.”

Yuvaan chuckled and, without missing a beat, pulled me closer and kissed the top of my head. “I have a wife,” he said with a grin. "You should also have one."

I noticed Dev’s reaction right away. His eyes stayed fixed on us, but there was no smile on his face. He didn’t even blink as he watched Yuvaan kiss me. It was as if the world had paused for a moment. The way he looked at us felt strange, intense, like one of those looks the main leads in books give to the female leads.

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to steady myself, to push those thoughts away. I didn’t want to overthink things. But there was something in the air, something between Dev and me that felt different now.

Then, Dev broke the silence, his voice a little quieter than usual. “The girl I loved… she’s no longer mine,” he said, his words carrying a sadness that was hard to ignore. “I’ve decided to stay single, living with her memories.”

I felt my chest tighten at his words, the weight of them sinking in. The sadness in his voice was unmistakable, and it hit me in a way I hadn’t expected. I wanted to say something to comfort him, but all I could do was sit there, feeling the heaviness of the moment linger in the air.

Yuvaan, still with that teasing grin, leaned in a bit closer and asked, “Who is she, Dev? Who’s the one you loved?”

Dev stayed silent for a moment, his eyes still on me. Yuvaan, oblivious to the tension, continued, “You know, I’ll bring her to you, no matter what it takes. I’ll get you both together. You don’t need to be alone. You know I am Yuvaan Randhawa and nothing is impossible to me."

But Dev didn’t seem to be listening. His gaze was fixed on me, and the weight of his stare made my heart race.

No, Dev, don’t look at me like that, I thought to myself. Not with those soft eyes. I can’t handle it.

I shifted uncomfortably, trying not to meet his gaze. But Dev finally broke his stare, looking away, and for a brief moment, I saw unshed tears in his eyes. My heart twisted as he spoke, his voice quieter than before.

“No need for that,” he said softly, as if fighting back the emotions that were threatening to spill over. “I don’t need anyone else. I’ll live with her memories. That’s all I can do now.”

His words hung in the air like a heavy weight, and I felt a mix of confusion and sadness wash over me. What had happened between him and this girl? Why was he so determined to stay alone? The questions swirled in my mind, but I didn’t know if I was ready to ask.

■

We all sat down for dinner, Yuvaan took the seat beside me, his presence close, his arm brushing against mine. As we started eating, I tried to focus on my plate, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of his hand moving ever so subtly under the table.

At first, it was just a gentle touch, something I could ignore, but soon it became more deliberate. His hand was on my waist, his fingers tracing lightly along my side. It made my skin tingle, but not in the way I expected. It was a strange, uncomfortable sensation that I couldn’t quite explain.

I shifted in my seat, trying to distance myself without making it too obvious. But Yuvaan, seemingly unaware of my discomfort, continued to touch me under the table, his hand lingering on my waist as if it was nothing out of the ordinary. It felt invasive, like a reminder of the power he had over me in this house, in my life.

I couldn’t understand why he was acting this way. The way he’d kissed my forehead earlier, the possessive touches now—it all felt too much. I wanted to push him away, to say something, but I was unsure of how to react. Would it cause a scene? Would Dev notice?

I tried to focus on my food, but all I could think about was the way Yuvaan’s hand felt on me, and how I wished it would stop.

To be continued

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