52: Love

She hobbled her way past their front door, her legs visibly swollen. Her tummy seemed to have ballooned even more than it already was since I last saw her. But if she was in any sort of discomfort she was careful not to show it.

I wondered, as I watched her, what it felt like. To have to carry something so precious, so beautiful, to be so careful of one self knowing that another being lived within you. What a weight that must be. Knowing that their life depended on you, and everything you did had an effect on them one way or the other. Such an important task, such a risk taken, such joy it brought.

I brushed away my envious thoughts stepping in after her tentatively. I stood by the door taking in Uta and Hoku's sweet little home. To have it be Hoku's home seemed almost incorrect. With the flowers and vines and branches sticking in and out windows and floorboards, blooming and filling the room with its pleasant perfume. Uta stood in the kitchen stirring a pot that steamed and whose smell of spices and meat rivaled that of the flowers. Cozy and warm, was her little home.

"Make yourself at home," Uta said, her eyes trained on me like she'd been watching me the whole time, "dinners almost ready."

I found a seat on the only couch in the center of the living room, my eyes travelling over the area. I stopped at a shelf, lined with string-bound books, wondering which of the couple was fond of reading.

"I write a little, read a lot," Uta said coming to stand by the shelf. She wiped her hands dry on her apron and trailed a finger across their spines. "Do you read?"

"I can read. But as a hobby, not really. What sort of books do you write?" I shifted uncomfortably, trying my hand at conversation.

Her head wobbled. "Children's story mostly. They're a work in progress but the kids at the orphanage seem to enjoy them." A small smile dawned her face and I knew she loved those kids as much as she'd love her own.

I cleared my throat and prepared myself for my next question. "If you don't mind me asking, why did you say that? Why did you call me family?"

She chuckled lightly and came to sit beside me, taking my hands in hers. Her eyes sparkled like gems but a sadness lingered behind her bright eyes. "My child won't live life like I did. So I only hope there are people like her out there who will remind her just how precious she is."

"But she is," I rushed to say. "She doesn't need everyone else to think it. She just is."

She regarded me fondly. "So she is." She rubbed a hand over her tummy.

Then it was silent and my mind went loose, the happenings of the day overcoming me. Nareem and Lance, Xon and the general, KB, Neritha and Brise. But everything else melted away when I thought of Philip. My heart swelled at the thought of him and I yearned to be beside him, but all common sense told me those feelings weren't right. Friends didn't want to kiss friends.

"Uta," I hesitated, "if you don't mind, eh, uh, how did you know...that Hoku was the one?"

A sly smile stretched across her face. She thought for a moment. "Hoku and I have known each other since we were kids. In fact we were the best of friends. We did everything together, loved being in each other's company. But it was only when we became teenagers did we start to develop feelings for each other, or at least I did. Even before we became more than friends we loved each other dearly. But our parents had never approved of our relationship overspanning friendship. So we eloped. But it didn't last long. We were found and Hoku was drafted."

A soldier? A knight? Of course, that made sense.

"Many years passed," Uta continued, fondess filling her eyes. "And one fine day I received a knock to find my best friend. He'd turned into a man in the blink of an eye and I couldn't help wondering just how much different he must've become. But he took my hand and we never returned. We travelled around quite a bit but wherever we went we were met with upturned noses and wary gazes. We were an anomaly and whatever could come of our relationship would never be accepted. But we were stubborn and in love."

"Love?" I bristled.

She arched a brow. "Is that not what you were asking for?"

I gulped. Was it Love? What I felt for Philip. Well, a form of love for sure, but the kind Uta spoke of, I couldn't be certain.

"What is it then? What is love?"

"Well," she began again. "When Hoku was drafted he was recruited into a division of the King's army that specialized in concentrated attacks. An uncanny force that sought only the fittest of individuals for their unconventional operations. But when he left, he came back a broken man, whose time of service haunted his every moment. There were times when I felt that he was slowly falling apart, that he was no longer the man I fell in love with. But despite who he had become I still loved him because I chose to. Love isn't about what you can receive from another but what you can give. Love in itself is a sacrifice. Grace, an undeserving gift of all the good one has. It doesn't seek to be pleased but to please. It's being satisfied with something so little as their smile."

She stood abruptly, eyes widening. "Dinner should be ready." And then she hurried into the kitchen. I followed after her, laying out the plates where she told me to. But just as I turned my back to her, I heard a gasp and a crash. I swiveled to find her holding a hand over her stomach, her breaths heaved and glass shattered at her feet. I was beside her before I knew it, unsure of what to do.

"What's wrong? Is the baby coming?" I pressed.

She chuckled lightly, shaking her head. "I'm sorry to worry you. It was just a contraction. I'm due next week, I have these from time to time."

My brows came together. "Next week? That's so soon."

"Well she's gotta come out, sooner or later." She shrugged and sank to her knees to pick up the shards of glass.

I halted her midway. "I'll take care of this, why don't you set the table instead."

She seemed conflicted but she nodded and went ahead to set the plates. When I stood to dispose of the glass, the front door swung open and there stood Hoku. There was so much more to him now, so much more than an insurgent. A man who wished to protect his beloved, a father fighting for the freedom of his child.

His eerie serpent eyes regarded me for a moment, holding me in place, before they snapped to Uta. A warm smile graced his face and he crossed the distance between them in the blink of an eye, planting a kiss on her cheek. She blushed and whispered something in his ear. He grinned, and all of a sudden he wasn't the hardened rebel but a man undeniably in love.

"Babe, I'm sure you remember December," Uta said, motioning to me.

I held the shards of glass awkwardly and met Hoku's now stern gaze. He nodded and I returned the greeting.

"I invited her over for dinner." Uta beamed and it was quite clear he couldn't have objected to her even if he wanted to.

Once the glass shards were disposed off and the table was set, we found our seats on the small round table. For most of the meal, we ate in silence save for Uta mentioning what she had done during the day and Hoku dotingly listening. I couldn't help but feel a sting of guilt sitting there in their home, eating their food, knowing I was there to tear them down. I was the worst kind of liar. The worst kind of person.

"So, December," Hoku said, stealing away my attention from my thoughts. "Where were you and your sister before Tobias found you?"

I gulped. He was curious, what did that mean? "We travelled alot. Never stayed in one place for too long."

"Then wherever would two young women learn to fight so well like you two?" There was something about his gaze, his eyes that made my every word echo in my mind. That made me repeat my lies till it drove me mad.

"We, we," I muttered, my mind becoming a haze. "We were trained."

"By who?"

"Babe," Uta's voice broke me from my trance. Her tone harsh. "Not here. Not now. She is our guest."

His eyes widened slightly, as if he'd just realized what he had done. He turned my way, lowering his gaze. "I apologize."

"No," I heaved, "no worries."

But when he met my eyes, a faint glint of delight flickered in his animal eyes. A smugness conveyed by only his gaze, Gotcha.

I recoiled.

"I hate to bring this up during dinner, excuse me Babe," Hoku said, smiling apologetically at Uta then returning his harsh regard to me. "But Cyr has selected a group of individuals to accompany him to Ogalsia. And you are one of them."

A/n: my dudes I just found the perfect song for Mo and Philip. Dandelions by Ruth B. Ahhh it just fits them perfectly😭 and for Hoku and Uta: Don't Know Till You Try by John Michael Howell