51: Family

"I like you too, I guess." I shrugged.

Philip was flabbergasted. "You guess?"

"Well it's not like I hate you."

"Wow, you're even denser than I thought you were."

"What does that mean?" I growled.

He rolled his eyes and stepped away, pouting like a child denied playtime. "Nevermind."

"Wait." I caught his hand as he turned and walked away. His gaze locked on me as he gulped. "You have a fever. You'll get cold, aren't you going to cover up?"

His lips twisted into a scowl. "Don't sneak up on me like that."

"But," I faltered, "how deep is the wound?"

He groaned. "It's fine Mo." He said my name with a grunt and pulled his hand away.

"Are you mad?" I trailed after him, sneaking peeks at him. "Did I say something wrong?"

He halted and faced me. I couldn't read his expression, exhaustion-possibly, anger, irritation. Are people usually cranky when they fall ill?

"Don't look at me like that, if you don't mean it," he huffed.

"Like what?"

He released a hefty breath, stepped my way, forcing me up against a tree. Planting a hand beside my head, he leaned down towards me, till his eyes were level with mine and his face was inches away. A hunger burned in his eyes. Hot blood splurged through my veins like lava beneath my skin. The usually quiet fire within me suddenly raged like a volcano. But I couldnt help feeling so small. Like a baby deer caught by a hunter, young and weak, easily breakable. But Philip was no hunter, at least not to me. I grinned and teased the distance, inching myself closer.

His eyes trained on my lips, he bit his own, heaving a rough breath.

"Careful," I murmured, a hidden confidence stirring in me, "I might burn you."

His voice hoarse, he drew nearer. "Burn me."

No, he was playing, he didn't mean it, he was Philip. If he would do it, it wouldn't have meant much to him but it would have meant too much for me to brush off so easily and I wasn't about to give myself away like that. With a palm to his midriff, I pushed him off me.

I turned away, my cheeks burning. An erratic puff of flames left my lips. I really could have burnt him.

"What am I to you?" I heard him say behind me.

"What do you mean?" I found his tumultuous gaze.

"Who am I to you? What do you see me as?"

The answer was simple but it never left my lips. Something snapped and leaves rustled in the background. Philip was in front of me in a heartbeat. I stood on my toes to get a better view of the intruder over his shoulder. And what I saw forced the weight of reality, that I had left at the entrance of the woods, back onto my shoulders.

KB stood there, hooded and hands raised. "I'm sorry," she squeaked. "I just, I just wanted to make sure you were all fine. Neritha went a little overboard there."

The muscle in Philip's shoulders tensed before me. "Why did you do it? Why did you stop her?" Philip asked, his voice steady, edging on curiousity but not cold.

The hiss of her snakes quieted behind her hood as she rubbed her boot into the dirt. "There was no need for killing," she said so quietly I almost missed it. Her gaze snapped up to ours. "But you might think I'm hypocritical and I get that. I do. I just...killing to Neritha is second nature. But even she is haunted by the lives she take."

"Are you close to her?" Philip asked with hesitancy.

"She's like a big sister to me. If it weren't for her, I'd have been long dead by now. I owe her my life."

I stepped out from behind Philip and KB bristled, the heads of her snakes peaking at me from under the hood. "Do you not support her?"

She hesitated, the question seemimg to take her by surprise. "My loyalty lies with the king," she finally said.

"Wouldn't it be easier..." My throat straining to get out the words. "To end us here and now?"

She hung her head. Lifted it after a moment to reveal a small almost strained smile. "There is a time for all things. One day I will meet you in battle, but that day is not today. I'll take my leave first." She trekked through the dense vegetation till she became a ghost.

~~~

Philip and I hardly spoke the whole walk back. We would eventually, that we seemed to agree upon, silently but, there was so much words couldn't express, not yet. When we did speak, we had agreed to meet Cyr the next day and meet him only, no mention of KB or what Neritha did. No mention of the almost-kiss between us.

Brise was sitting at the dining table when I entered our little home, picking her nail with one of her knives, looking almost like she was waiting for me.

"Where were you?" She asked, slipping the knife into her baldric. "And what is that wound on your face?"

"Cyr." I heaved a breath and shut the door behind me. How could I tell Brise or Rowan and Lucius and beg them to believe otherwise. It wasn't fair not to tell them but it also wasn't fair to KB, who was loyal to the king even in the face of rebels. "He asked to follow someone for him. He wanted to know whom she would meet next."

"Who?"

When I didn't speak her tone took a sharper edge. "Look me in the eye and answer the question!"

"Neritha," I murmured, inching my gaze to hers. "The leader of the bandits that attacked the capital."

She took a moment to mull this over. "Who did she meet?"

"She's not the spy," I said all too quickly. "She swore loyalty to the king before us. She isn't—"

"Who was it?" Her words cut through me like one of her knives across her victim's throat.

"KB." My voice barely above a whisper. When she didn't respond immediately I raised my eyes to find her face contorted. "The gorgon vuruk." My voice was strained.

"Snake," Brise hissed, her eyes flaring. Everything I said before seemed to have fallen upon deaf ears. "And you dare defend her?"

I reeled. "I know it wasn't her."

"How would you have know? How can you trust her words so easily?"

"I know because I know her enough to. If you took the time to care about others you would know too." The words were said before I could stop myself.

We mirrored each other in our shock. But she recovered first, her gaze growing dark as she closed the distance between us. "You must be confused, allow me to remind you exactly why we are here. We are here to bring down a rebellion that threatens the stability of our nation. To discard of everything that may hinder the king's sovereignty including the little friendships we hold dear for the lives of so many more. Why become a guard when you cannot handle the consequences of such a duty. Or could it be that you are an imposter just as much as your serpent friend?"

My fists shook at my sides as I braced myself for her every word hit me like a heavy hand. I stepped back, I wasn't going to cower, not for the life of my family.

The words like ice as they left my mouth. "Should I let them go? Everyone I love and care for, for everyone else?"

"Yes," Brise said without hesitation, like she'd answered that question a million times before.

I stepped away because my life was crumbling. No, it had already crumbled a long time ago. I had just made myself believe I could fix it all. I wasn't willing to accept it as conspicuous as it all was.

~~~

"Are you alright, dear?"

I raised my head to meet Uta's concerned, motherly gaze. She took my hand, seating herself beside me. We were at the community hall, and it was getting dark out but I couldn't remember exactly how and when I had gotten there.

"Boy or sister?" She asked.

It took me a moment to realize what she meant. "Neither, just myself."

"Have you eaten?" A huge smile stretched across her face as she stood, still holding my hand.

My empty tummy found that the perfect moment to rumble. She quirked a brow and tugged me up.

"I shouldn't," I said hesitantly. "I'd hate to intrude."

"Oh please, do a pregnant lady a favor. Have dinner with me?" She pouted and I couldn't help but ponder how fragile she was, how they both were.

"Do you usually ask strangers to have dinner with you?" A small smile crept across my face.

She blinked and listed her head. When realization dawned her face she chuckled. "You're no stranger, you're family."

A/n: yes I'm not dead. School has been sucking the life out of me and I've recently been binging the Lunar Chronicles, which is freaking amazing, always love a good fairy tale retelling. But other than that, I'll be sure to update when I have the time. Plus, Philip and Mo there *wiggles eyebrows* yeah anywhoo.