Chapter 18 - Revealing Secrets Pt two

Harmoni

“Was she kidnapped?” William asked, confused and worried. I shook my head. His concerned look went straight to my heart. He didn’t even know my mother yet he was afraid for her. I guess that’s just the kind of man William was.

“No, that’s what we thought as well, but when we went to the police station, they showed us the cameras. They clearly showed her making a straight line from me to her car and then driving away. I didn’t understand what was happening. After about an hour I started crying, I might have been five, but I wasn’t a complete moron either. A lady came up to me, wondering why I was crying on that bench all by myself. I asked to borrow her phone and called my father.”

“I’m sorry, it must have been terrifying,” he said while taking my hand in his and running his thumb on it. The warmth of his hand created a bit of comfort, but the subject reopened a wound I had tried very hard to close over the past years. “What did your father say?”

“Nothing,” I answered honestly. “He was devastated, but he didn’t call for a search. He simply let her walk out of our life. No questions asked.” My father didn’t even react to the news like he somehow knew this would happen. He didn’t divorce her, and till this day he still covered for her and pretending she was abroad.

I couldn’t understand why my mother had decided to leave my father and me. If she had a disagreement with my dad she would have still tried to be in my life, right? She would have taken me with her. Had I done something to make her think I wasn’t worth loving? Did she regret having me? So many questions swarmed my mind, each pulling at my heart more than the other.

I hadn’t realized I had started crying until I felt a hand brush a tear from my cheek. William had walked to my side of the table and was now lowering his forehead to mine, while one hand still held onto mine.

“It’s her loss,” he squeezed my hand supportively. My heart was beating so hard at that moment. I felt like it might jump out of my chest. Until William grasped how he was holding me and stepped back. I could have sworn I saw him blush, but it was gone as fast as it had appeared.

“You have no idea how much she fucked me up.” Only my father and Emily knew the extent of the trauma my mother had created in me. I could barely stand being in crowds because it was too much of a reminder of how my mother had disappeared, but that was only the tip of the ice.

“You’re not fucked up,” he firmly stated, as if me saying that was utterly absurd.

I ignored his remark and continued with my explanation. Now that I had started, I was going to let it all out. That way I could close this topic once and for all.

“I waited by the window for days, thinking my mother would walk up the pavement and enter our home. She never did. I took a year delay, my trauma was so grave my father made me see a psychologist to try and help with my panic attacks and nightmares. Being five years old, the confusion of what was happening to me made everything worse.

I needed my mother, I needed her support, her comfort, her love, but she wasn’t there. My father tried his best to fill the gap, but a little girl needs her mother. That led to depression, I was a five-year-old suffering from depression. That’s why I’m a year late in school. I had shut down so much it took four different psychologists to turn it all around,” I explained. William didn’t say anything. He was clearly lost in his own thoughts regarding what I had just revealed.

“What about Emily?” he finally asked, realizing my best friend was also a year behind.

I couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped my lips.

“Her parents wanted to travel the world as a family and thought they could homeschool her in the process. They failed miserably; after the entire year, she had barely covered a quarter of what she should have. The teachers were so angry at her parents and made Emily redo the year,” Emily and I always laughed about this with her parents.

William laughed along with my statement. I was glad for the slight change of subject, which lightened my mood a bit. I wiped the remaining tears from my face, and I turned the stove back on to continue making pancakes.

“How about you?” I asked.

“What about me?”

“Do you have any siblings?” his mood seemed to turn gloomier.

“That’s a long story, one that I will keep for another day,” he answered. I felt bad for intruding on his personal life, but I also felt disappointed. I had opened up to him. I shared my deepest darkest secret with him. I guess he didn’t trust me enough to do the same.

“Hey, I’ll tell you, I promise. It’s just not the nicest story, and we honestly don’t have much time left,” he said trying to lift my mood. Checking the time, I noticed he was right. We only had about twenty minutes left before we both had to go. We both had to shower and get ready.

I was making the last of our pancakes when the neighbor’s dog jumped over the fence and ended up in our garden, startling me.

“Ow!” I yelped in pain as I realized my wrist touched the pan’s border.

“Dammit Har,” he groaned at me, clearly angry about my carelessness. Within seconds, William was by my side, placing my arm under the room temperature water. I could already see my skin becoming a light shade of pink where it had made contact with the burning pan.

Looking up at him, I noticed our proximity. This was happening a lot this morning. My back was nearly fully pressed against his front as he stretched my arm forward. Heat transmitted through his hand on my wrist. I quickly looked away, closing my eyes and trying to distract myself, hoping the warmth I felt on my cheeks was not the result of another blush. We had both become more comfortable with touching each other, whether it was a hug or just taking each other’s hand. I was genuinely glad for it.

With my eyes closed, all my other senses were heightened, my nose filled with the scent of his cologne, while I was fully aware of his muscles moving against my back.

“You should really watch what you are doing! You could have seriously injured yourself,” His voice snapped me out of my provisional daze. Finally daring to look back, I watched him look at me sternly. Even with a scowl on his face, I couldn’t help but find him extremely handsome.

His eyes met mine, and in that instant, it felt like everything that had just happened was forgotten. I expected him to step away after noticing how close we stood to each other, yet he didn’t. He released my wrist as his eyes darted down to my lips.

The butterflies that had only just calmed down were now making themselves known in my stomach.

Turning in his arms, he still didn’t step away. “Har,” he said, I could hear the weak warning in his tone. Yet, his control was slowly slipping as my eyes landed on his lips. Those beautiful pink lips, all I wanted to do was reach for him and kiss him senseless.

Our bodies were so close together. I only had to take half a step for our chests to collide. I took this as a sign, gathering my courage, my hand reached up to his cheek slowly pulling his face down to mine, only stopping when his lips were a breath away.

Seeming to let go of all control, William closed the space between us, crashing his lips against mine. The feeling of his lips on mine was sensational. It was better than anything I had imagined over the past few weeks.

The kiss wasn’t sweet or soft, it was rough and full of need, intensifying the flutter in my stomach. My hand reached behind his neck, pulling him to me, not wanting any space between us. William probably thought the same as he reached for my waist, pulling me till our bodies were flush together.

His fingers moved below my shirt, caressing my bare skin and invading all my senses. I felt my knees give out, thankful he was still holding me tightly. If I ever did drugs, my drug would be him, I don’t think I would ever be able to get enough.

The only thought in my head was how soft and pleasurable his lips were, moving in sync with mine. It was like the time had stopped around us, and all there was was him and I. His tongue brushed against my lower lip, asking for entrance which I naturally gave. I didn’t bother fighting for dominance, liking that he was in control. A moan escaped me as he bit down slightly on my lip.

Before I knew what was happening, William had pushed me away so fast it would have seemed like my touch itself had burned him. Something seemed to have snapped within him. His eyes were wide while he assessed me, his eyes lingering on my now swollen lips. My heart was pounding uncontrollably in my chest, still in a daze from what had just transpired between us.

“This was a mistake,” was all he said before he stormed off, slamming the front door behind him.

Sliding down to the floor, my hand reached up to touch my lip.

“What just happened?” I whispered out loud.