Chapter 17 – Revealing Secrets Pt one

Harmoni

Waking up this morning, I was ecstatic. Will was coming back to work today. His plane arrived this morning, and he had asked to take on the late shift. Was it wrong of me to think he did that because he missed me too?

We hadn't talked much during the holidays. He had sent me a text on Christmas day to wish me a Merry Christmas, and I had texted him at midnight on New Year. There were short messages, but I was glad to see I was on his mind. I didn't want to pester him with text messages and intrude on his time with his family, even if I genuinely wanted to.

It was strange not having him around, not having him to talk to and laugh with. Yeah... I really missed him.

I was nervous to see him again, which led me to stay awake for half the night. It's like the moment you need your sleep, your body decides to betray you and hide the off button to your brain.

The day we parted, I had initiated a few things... a few out of character and impulsive gestures. I didn't regret them. Hell, I dreamed about them most nights, but what if he did? What if he realized during the holidays that it wasn't what he wanted.

Over the weeks I had understood that William was friendly, he took his work seriously and professionally. I wouldn't be surprised if he considered what had happened 'crossing the line'.

Now that I had had a glimpse of the friendship we could have, I'm not sure if I could just become a professional acquaintance again. I was in too deep already. My walls had already cracked, what if everything was about to blow up in my face and tear my heart apart?

I didn't know how to react when I would finally see him again. The excitement I had felt all morning soon left me and was replaced by dread. What if it was super awkward between us? What if he was angry at me?

~Seriously you should snap out of this 'what if' game you're playing, you'll just see when you see him and go with the flow~. That voice in my head said. Easier said than done.

I was pacing my room, running all possible scenarios in my head when a knock on my door halted me in my step.

Standing there, leaning against my door in all his glory was William. He was even more handsome than I had remembered. His muscles were in full display for me to admire while his messily styled hair made me want to run my hand in it. Clearly, my mind didn't do him justice.

"You know, Princess, when I asked you to keep in shape, I didn't mean this," he teased referring to my earlier pacing. I had even missed him calling me Princess, the nickname had grown on me.

"You're here early,” was all I said, as a smile graced my lips. I had missed him more than I thought I would.

"I don't think I've ever received a warmer welcome back,” he said, sarcasm evident in his tone. "If you want, I can leave and come back later.” Walking up to him, I wrapped my arms around his waist. Screw my previous insecurities.

"Better?" I asked, looking up to meet his eyes. He chuckled before wrapping his own arms around me. His embrace was warm and gentle, yet tight enough to let me know I wasn't the only one that had felt the distance between us.

"Much better," I guess I could take this as a confirmation that he didn't regret what happened between us. Right?

***

The day went by quickly, and tomorrow we would be starting our regular morning training. I hope I had kept in shape enough. God knows how much I ate during the Christmas holidays.

As a Christmas gift, Dad had agreed to build a gym in the house after all our house was big enough and had plenty of rooms we barely ever stepped foot in. It should be done in a few days, and I was so excited to start training in it with William. Needless to say, we would be completely alone in there.

We had just finished our training and were walking back to the house. Today's training had been tough, we had run more than we usually did and did more reps on the machines. I'm sure it would have been worse if I hadn't exercised during the holidays, but clearly, it hadn't been enough.

He also spent some time on the more theoretical knowledge he thought would be vital for me to know. For instance, he insisted on the fact that if I was ever kidnapped, it was essential to play the game, to go along with what they were doing. Basically, to buy time. He explained that my best chances, the moment they were the most vulnerable, were during transitions.

He did reassure me that being abducted would be improbable with him there, but that it was knowledge I should have regardless.

Dad had left on a business trip yet again and wouldn't be home for another few days while Selena was still asleep at this time, so I did what any other girl would do—or so I kept telling myself.

"Do you want to have breakfast with me?" I asked, silently crossing my fingers for him to accept. We had had such a good time the other day with the ice cream and the meteor shower, I kind of wanted a repeat. Selena had been showing me how to make pancakes, and I had already prepared the batter in the fridge. Now all I needed was for him to say yes.

He glanced down at his watch and, seeing as our training finished a bit earlier, I didn't know why he would have any excuse.

"I'd like that," he answers. Cue my internal happy dance.

"Perfect," I smiled. ~Please don't let him see me blush~. What was this man doing to me?

Walking into the kitchen, he settled down on one of the stools while I busied myself with finding the prepared batter in the fridge and heating a pan. He eyed me carefully when I started making the first pancake in the pan. I stirred it delicately, trying to make a perfect circle like I had been taught. The atmosphere was light, we made small talk, caught up on what happened during the holidays, and he laughed at my failed attempt to flip the pancake.

"Like you could do it any better," I challenged him.

"You aren't used to making them, are you?" he chuckled, ignoring my frowning face.

"I don't understand what I'm doing wrong," I whined after my third failed attempt at flipping the pancake without using a spatula.

"Here, let me show you.” He stood up from his seat and walked up to me confidently.

I watched as he made a perfect flip.

"It's all in the wrist,” he said.

"That's what she said.” My eyes went wide as I realized I had said that out loud. Oh god, this was so embarrassing. William looked at me surprised at first before throwing his head back laughing. I joined him, still mortified by what I had just said in front of him. I wasn't innocent and would sometimes joke around like this with Emily, but I had never shown this side of me to William before.

We had been talking for a few minutes before he asked something I wish he hadn't.

"Is your mom around? I haven't gotten the chance to meet her yet,” he suddenly asked, taking me completely off guard.

"You'll never meet her, so don't bother asking about her," I snapped. This was hitting too close to my wounded heart.

He seemed taken aback by my reaction. I couldn't blame him, one second we were laughing and the other I was snapping at him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry. I shouldn't have asked," he quickly apologized, guilt and regret evident in his eyes.

I turned the stove off and sighed, turning back to look at him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just not something I talk about very often,” That was true, I hadn't told this to any of my other bodyguards, nor was it something I openly shared with my friends. What made William different? Somehow, I felt like I could trust him. Like I could tell him anything. Was it odd, considering I had only met him a few months ago? But did I really trust him to stick around?

"How long do you plan to stay?" I asked.

"You mean as your bodyguard?" he seemed a bit confused by my sudden change of subject, but answered regardless.

I nodded.

"Well, I'm still doing the trial period. This will end in another two months and then I can choose to extend my contract or not,” he explained, scratching the back of his head. The thing is, I knew that already. I wanted to know if he planned to extend his contract or not.

As if he had read my mind, he added.

"I would like to extend my contract, but it will depend on other factors than just me. It will depend on my working hours at HQ, but more importantly, it will depend on whether or not your father still wants me around,” he continued.

I pushed a strand of hair that had fallen behind my ear. Basically, he was telling me he didn't know if he was staying. I felt my stomach drop at the revelation, pain radiating through me at the thought that soon he might be out of my life.

"Hey," he said, gently lifting my chin up, for me to look at him in the eye. "It's not because I'm not your bodyguard that we can't hang out,” he sounded sincere, and I wanted to believe him. It was just hard to when people kept leaving me behind.

I chuckled humorlessly. Gently freeing my chin.

"Yeah right," I said sarcastically. "I've heard that before.” The truth is, I had. When I repeated a year, most of my friends told me it didn't matter and that they would still be my friends. Yet, that's not what happened, far from it. Not only were they not my friends anymore, but they even took part in the bullying Em and I faced.

That was the second time I had felt completely and utterly betrayed in my life, and by then I was only six. My first and only boyfriend, my first love, and the first person other than Em I had chosen to open up to left me after he got what he wanted. If you know what I mean.

Needless to say, I've had my fair share of people turning their back on me or merely leaving me. I wanted to trust William, I did, but I didn't know if I was ready to put myself out there another time.

"I don't plan on leaving you," he whispered to me. Looking up at him once again, I tried to see any traces of lies, but all I could see was honesty and sincerity. Why was he saying something I craved to hear so much? I had to admit he had done nothing to deserve my distrust, maybe he would be different.

"I believe you.” When the words left my mouth, I realized that I really did. I believed he would stay.

"I'm sorry I asked about your mother. I didn't realize it was a sensitive topic,” he apologized once again.

"It's fine," I said calmly. Sometimes I forgot that my dad made sure to keep anything related to my mom private and hadn't shared anything with the media. As far as they were concerned, she was an extremely busy woman who mostly worked overseas.

William and I had become friends over the past few weeks, hell, I would like to think that maybe there was something slightly more going on as well. This was an inevitable subject. "I just don't like talking about her," I added.

I didn't have many friends, and Emily was there when everything went down, so I rarely had anyone asking me about my mother. When Jessie had asked on his first day, I had shut him down cold. To this day, I still hadn't told him, and I wasn't planning to.

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to,” he kindly said. Clearly feeling the tension that had built up in the room since he asked about my mother.

"No, it's fine. I trust you,” I admitted, looking him in the eye. It was true, over the past few months, he had been someone I could rely on and talk to. As I said, we had become close, I would tell him about my day, and he would share about his, well, at least the parts that weren't classified. If I wanted this, whatever was happening between us, to go anywhere, I would need to open up to him at some point. I guess now was as good as ever.

"Your guess is as good as mine,” I finally said. "My mom walked out on our family when I was five. I guess we didn't make her happy enough.” I looked down at my shaking hands.

Saying this took a lot from me.

It had been a long time since the last time I had spoken about her. “We were walking through a farmers market when my mother told me to sit on a bench while she got me some ice cream.”

I remember being very excited at the idea of finally eating ice cream. Little did I know that it would be the last time I saw her.”