#33

Eli would admit that if there was one thing he did not miss from his childhood home, it was the awful flower print couch his grandmother had passed down.

He'd hated it when he was a child, and the feeling was very much still there. The fact that he was currently sitting stiffly atop it was unfortunate. He still tried not to focus too much on how uncomfortable a seat the thing made as he thanked his mother for the cup of tea. Eli didn't really care for tea. He wasn't about to tell his mother that though, not when she was just happy he was alive.

She'd also gotten his favorite cookies to go with the tea, so Eli supposed she could be forgiven.

"So, how have you been?" his mother asked as she sat next to him, wringing her hands most likely to keep from pulling him to her and clamping down like a barnacle. Eli appreciated the effort.

"Uh, fine, I guess?" he said around a mouthful of cookies. They both ignored the few crumbs that escaped. "I mean, I still kind of feel like shit, to be honest. Just, kinda glad to still be breathing." He shrugged.

"Oh, I'm so happy you're okay. You almost gave me a heart attack!" She smacked his arm because apparently, she was passed the need to hug the life out of him. "Here I am at home, hoping you'll be safe without me there, and what do I see on the news?"

"Not me because no one knows I was there?"

SMACK

Eli rubbed his arm and glared at his mother. He wished there was enough room on the couch to scoot away to a safe distance.

"I saw that ship sinking and heard all about the bomb threat and just knew you were involved. I swear to God, you are trying to kill me."

"It's not like I wanted to get kidnapped," Eli said, and just barely dodged his mother's hand. She glared at him as he grinned at the fact he'd kept his poor arm safe.

"I don't understand how you keep getting into all these dangerous situations. Is it that boy you're seeing? I told you it was too dangerous to stay with him."

Eli missed his mother a lot of the time, even if they usually ended up bickering. The one thing he didn't miss was her lecturing.

"Ma, it wasn't his fault." It actually mostly was, but his mother didn't need to know that. "And he almost died saving me." Even now, in the safety of his mother's home, knowing full well the idiot in question was also safe, Eli couldn't help but wish he were with him.

His mother sighed. Her shoulders slumped and there was a look of remorse that told Eli she knew it was true. It was like he'd told Matthew before—his mother didn't dislike him, just the danger that came with him. It was something Matthew understood enough not to fault her for.

"How is he?" she asked after a moment, and Eli was glad to see real concern on her face.

"Well, he almost died, but thanks to some shady doctors and some very questionable driving, he'll be fine." Eli still wondered how he'd survived Adria's driving. Not that he was complaining. It was probably one of the reasons Matthew was still alive.

"That's good to hear," his mother said. And in spite of all the times she'd threatened to bury Matthew in her backyard, Eli was sure she was truly glad he survived. "I still think you could find someone a little less," she trailed off, clearly at a loss.

"Insanely reckless?" Eli supplied before stuffing another cookie into his mouth.

"I suppose, if that's how you want to put it. But I am glad he seems to truly care for you. And if you're not going to change your mind, well, I guess that's the best I can hope for." She let out a resigned sigh that made Eli grin gleefully at having worn her down.

"I'm sure he'll be very happy when I tell him he's earned your grudging acceptance." Knowing Matthew, he'd be over the fucking moon.

"My very grudging acceptance," she corrected, and then smirked behind her cup of tea. "Even if he does have a nice ass."

"Ma! I'm eating!" Eli spluttered, nearly choking on a cookie. He chugged some tea to help it go down, but there was nothing he could do about the way his face heated up. His mother's cackling didn't help.

"Oh come on, you should be glad I can look at both the bad and good." Eli would rather she stuck to the bad if the good was going to make him want to lose his lunch. "And I have to say, you may have awful taste in men as far as hobbies go, but you didn't disappoint as far as looks go."

Eli wished there was a hole he could crawl into and die. At least it would be a nice, quiet death. One devoid of his mother's horrifying opinions about Matthew.

"I'm starting to regret coming here," he said sulkily.

"I'm just surprised you came on your own. Did I really scare your poor boyfriend that badly?" She absolutely did. In fact, Matthew had been the one to suggest he sit this visit out. Mostly because some of the things that needed to be discussed had the possibility of ending with him six feet under. It was funny how a man who would willingly get stabbed to save Eli could be so cowardly when it came to his mother.

"Yeah, but he's also still not up to a long trip," Eli said, which was also true. Matthew wouldn't be moving around for a while longer.

"Maybe I should drop by when he's feeling better. I don't want him to actually live in constant fear of me," his mother said, thoughtfully.

"I'll tell him you don't plan to kill him any time soon." Eli wasn't sure if that'd be enough to convince Matthew, but it was worth a shot.

"You do that. But you know, I really am glad you came. I know we've had our issues, but I'm just happy to know you're safe." She rested a hand on his shoulder, her eyes warm and full of love. Eli sometimes forgot how much he missed his mother, especially with how ridiculous his life tended to be. In that moment though, he was glad he'd dropped by. "And you know I—what's that on your hand?"

Eli froze in the process of stuffing his face with more cookies. His mother also froze, her gaze focused on his crumb covered hand where a shiny ring stood out on his ring finger. For a moment, they just sat there, both frozen with their gazes glued to the shiny band innocently encircling Eli's finger. Eli gulped.

"Oh, yeah, so, I'm engaged now. Surprise?"

His mother's gaze slowly moved from the ring to Eli's face. He was giving her a nervous grin, the kind that he used when he had no other way to possibly keep someone from murdering him. It was most often used on his mother.

SMACK

"You! Is that any way to tell your mother you're engaged?!"

"Well I meant to tell you!" Eli was getting to it. Eventually. He blamed his mother for distracting him with delicious cookies and horribly embarrassing comments about Matthew's ass.

"You meant to tell me? And when did you mean to tell me?"

"I don't know! When it came up," Eli threw his hands up in frustration. Mostly because things weren't going how he'd planned. Even though he hadn't actually planned anything.

There seemed to be a time limit for his mother's anger, because she just let out a very frustrated sigh and massaged her temples. Eli thought that was uncalled for. It wasn't really his fault anyway. She really couldn't have expected him to just show up and lead with the big news.

"I'm happy for you," she said once she'd pushed down whatever irritation she felt. "Really, I am," she added at Eli's very skeptical look. "I just worry."

"That I'm marrying a very stupid man?"

"Well, yes."

"I mean, I think we both should have expected that to happen eventually."

"It does run in the family," his mother agreed with a sigh.

"If it makes you feel better, I already threatened to divorce him." That got a laugh from his mother. It was more of an amused little huff, but she was definitely smiling.

"Of course you did," she leaned back against the couch. "Not that you actually would." No, Eli probably wouldn't. Matthew wasn't the only idiot in their relationship.

"I don't know, he might surprise me by outdoing himself with his stupid shenanigans." It was one of the few things Eli wouldn't discount.

"Well, I'm still happy for you. Even if you end up getting divorced a week after the wedding." Eli was very tempted to say something about how little his mother seemed to believe in him. "By the way, when's the wedding?"

"Hell if I know." Eli shrugged. He would be happy going down to the courthouse and signing up for a lifetime of suffering through Matthew's questionable choice and then celebrating with some greasy diner food. Something told him his mother wouldn't approve.

"You're not eloping," she said almost immediately. Well then. Maybe she knew him better than he thought.

"Whatever we end up doing, we'll think about it when Matthew can walk for longer than five minutes." Eli thought that was reasonable.

"I suppose there's no harm in waiting. But if I don't get an invite I will disown you." She glared, but in a weirdly loving sort of way. At least, Eli thought so.

"Like you wouldn't find out somehow and murder us before we could make it official if we did that." At least it would make for a memorable wedding. The wedding video would probably be amazing. He hoped they showed it at the funeral.

"One of these days, I'd like to have a conversation where murder isn't mentioned."

Eli snickered at how unlikely that was. He was still happy to continue stuffing his face with cookies one handed while his mother held his other hand hostage and fawned over the ring. It was easy to drown out most of it if he focused on the food in front of him. That also held true for dinner. By the time Eli was free to shut himself in his old room to get some rest, he was just about done with his mother's enthusiasm over his eventual wedding. He was only glad that she lived far enough away that he wouldn't have to listen to her discuss floral arrangements at length.

Just as he was entertaining the more morbid side of his imagination by picturing such a horrible scenario, Eli's phone rang. He glanced at it and rolled his eyes at the grinning face on his screen.

"Hi, honey!" came the overly cheery greeting. Eli sometimes wondered how Matthew maintained so much energy until so late at night. "I take it your mother hasn't killed you. Unless she's coming for me first, in which case a warning would be nice."

"You'll be happy to know, she has no plans on committing any sort of homicide."

"Oh, so she took the news well!" Matthew sounded absolutely pleased.

"About as well as possible. Only now I'm stuck here, with my wedding crazed mother." It was a far more horrifying situation than one would expect.

"I'm sure you can handle it. And if not, you can always make a run for it." Well, it wouldn't be Eli's first time running away from home.

"I'm seriously considering it. So, how're you doing?"

"Still alive and kicking," Matthew said happily. "Though I would appreciate Adria not threatening me regularly. Did you really have to ask her to keep an eye on me?"

Eli allowed himself to smirk just a little bit viciously. After everything was over, he and Adria had arrived at an understanding of sorts. Mainly, it consisted of staying out of each other's faces for the rest of their lives—with the exception of circumstances like their current one. Namely, ones in which one of them could be an absolute dick to the benefit of the other. At the moment, Adria was in charge of making sure Matthew didn't do anything to get himself killed.

"Who else was I gonna ask?"

"Anyone else."

"I thought you liked Adria."

"You know I don't." Eli did. It was just too much fun to pretend otherwise.

"Well, too late to do anything about it now. So, how's Good Matthew?"

"I resent the implications of that name." Eli cackled. "And he's fine. Hasn't even tried to get out. I think he pities me."

"You do look pitiful at the moment." He looked more like a mummy, to be honest.

"Rude," he said, but Eli knew he was smiling. He sort of hated himself for the sappy idea that he could tell. "So, when are you coming back?"

"What, miss me already?"

"Always do," Matthew said far too earnestly. Enough so that Eli felt his face heating up. "Are you blushing right now?"

"No!" Eli hurried to say. He could hear Matthew snickering. "Ugh, just go to sleep."

"Are you going to bed now?"

"Yeah." Eli needed sleep desperately.

"Maybe you'll dream of me," Matthew teased.

"God, I hope not."

"Well, that was hurtful."

"It wasn't. Now go to sleep before I call Adria and have her stop by."

"No need for threats," Matthew muttered, knowing Eli absolutely would call Adria.

He'd been very vocal about the questionable nature of Eli and Adria's supposed friendship. Of course, Eli had insisted there was no friendship, because the very idea made him sick to his stomach and it was most likely the same for Adria. It was just that Eli would rather know what Adria was up to if she was gonna keep running around the city while knowing who Vigilante was. Adria probably had a similar idea.

"Well, I guess I'll let you get to bed."

"Yeah, goodnight," Eli said, stifling a yawn. His day had been long and he really needed some sleep.

"Goodnight, see you soon." Eli was actually looking forward to it.

He was clearly going insane.

# # #

Okay, so maybe I didn't kill Matthew. But we still had fun thinking he was dead, right? :D

Anyway, hope you all liked this chapter! Next one will be up in two weeks, but until then, let's all place bets on how long their marriage will last, lol. As always, thank you all for your support and have a great weekend!