Chapter 846: She doesnt belong to this world

If not for her oath, Ning Cheng wouldn’t have trusted Han Yunxi so soon or so quickly, nor could she have gotten to this point. Although Han Yunxi consoled herself with the fact that she’d only vowed in the name of the West Qin princess, who wasn’t her at all, she still couldn’t help but brood. Ning Cheng had called her out so harshly on it that it didn’t make sense for Long Feiye to not ask her about it at all!

Long Feiye found a comfortable position to cross his legs and sit down before resting his hand on Han Yunxi. “Rub it a little. Just then, you almost crushed me to pieces. Although you didn’t want to leave, you still showed off..”

Han Yunxi was indescribably embarrassed as she docilely massaged his hands. As she worked on the fingers, she waited for him to speak, but Long Feiye still didn’t ask. In the end, she spoke first. “Long Feiye...”

Long Feiye knitted his brows at her. “What did you call me?”

Han Yunxi grew mute. She was still smart enough to figure out what he meant.

“Feiye...” Han Yunxi muttered.

Long Feiye didn’t speak, but simply stared at all. His dark eyes were filled with amusement, as if he wouldn’t let her off until she called him something satisfactory.

“Feiye...” Han Yunxi murmured again.

Still unsatisfied, Long Feiye continued his staring.

“Long Feiye!” she said loudly. If he hadn’t reminded her, she would still call him “Ye” or “A’Ye” without realizing it. But now that he did, she really couldn’t say such nicknames, especially under such a wicked stare. Those names would always remind her of scenes that turned her face red.

Her cry startled Uncle Gao, who was still driving the carriage outside, but Long Feiye didn’t move. Han Yunxi shoved him aside and quickly changed the topic. “Long Feiye, guess what vow I made?”

Curiously enough, Long Feiye dropped the matter of nicknames to declare, “It must have been venomous.”

Han Yunxi felt that Long Feiye couldn’t have forgotten about the nickname matter so easily, but she didn’t have time to consider that now. “It was very venomous!” she admitted. “And what’s more, it was using your--”

“It was to have me struck by thunder, or tore to pieces by five horses, or have blood flowing from my seven orifices, or maybe to die an unnatural death...” Long Feiye finished for her.

Han Yunxi immediately covered his mouth, but Long Feiye moved her hand aside and clicked his tongue as he sighed. “Then it’s probably to ‘die an unnatural death.’ Han Yunxi, this crown prince has finally realized how venomous you are today!”

Han Yunxi hung her head while Long Feiye smiled wickedly. She didn’t notice, but remained sitting on her knees like a criminal awaiting her punishment. In actuality, she was hesitating whether to tell him about her status. How could she word it so Long Feiye would understand and believe her?

Long Feiye stared at her for awhile before raising her chin so she could look at him. “Han Yunxi, if you can please this crown prince, I could consider forgiving you,” he put on a serious tone.

Han Yunxi immediately glared at him and slapped his hand aside. “Long Feiye, I’ll tell you a secret. You just listen well, because I’m only telling you in this entire world.”

“You mean you were planning to tell someone else?” Long Feiye asked.

“I’m being serious!” Han Yunxi grew anxious.

“I’m being serious too?” Long Feiye wasn’t joking at all.

“I’m not the West Qin princess!” Han Yunxi blurted out, causing Long Feiye to knit his brows at her doubtfully. Han Yunxi expected this, so she emphasized one more time. “I’m completely serious. I’m really not the West Qin princess...”

Before Long Feiye could speak, Han Yunxi grasped his hands tightly. “Long Feiye, the Han Clan’s daughter by its first wife--Lady Tianxin’s daughter--is truly the West Qin princess. But not me. I’m not really the Han Clan’s daughter of the first wife, Han Yunxi.”

Her solemn expression made it impossible for Long Feiye to doubt her. Hadn’t he wondered once upon a time whether it was truly “Han Yunxi” that had married into the Duke of Qin’s estate? The Han Clan’s Han Yunxi was supposed to be weak, cowardly, and useless when it came to medical arts. But it was a completely different woman that married into his estate. He had done no end of investigations but never found an answer. He’d questioned Han Yunxi personally, but she only said she’d been trying to avoid attracting attention as a mean to stall his efforts.

“Just what’s going on? Who are you then? Where did the real Han Yunxi go?” Long Feiye asked urgently. If the woman before him now wasn’t the real Han Yunxi or West Qin princess, then he wouldn’t need to take so many details into account or shoulder so much blame.

He wouldn’t have to bear remorse and uneasiness towards East Qin, his parents, or the Mermaid Clan! He could bring her out now, open and forthright, and have all the East Qin soldiers bow before her in respect! He could take her hand and stand shoulder-to-shoulder to wipe out Tianning and go on an expedition across Cloud Realm Continent!

“I...”

Han Yunxi saw the pleased surprise and anticipation in Long Feiye’s yes, but how was she supposed to explain?

“Long Feiye, I...” Although she’d thought it through, she still hesitated. “I...I’m actually...”

It wasn’t enough that she was clutching his hands. Han Yunxi went full on to embrace him tightly before feeling safe enough to speak the truth.

“Long Feiye, I don’t belong to this world. My soul came from a future thousands of years away. My name is also Han Yunxi, and I look a lot like the Han Clan’s Han Yunxi. When I came here, that Han Yunxi was already in the wedding sedan chair and getting ready to marry you. Her soul died, so I inherited everything that was hers. Do you understand?”

Han Yunxi finally revealed the truth. She had no idea why the Han Clan’s Han Yunxi had died in the sedan chair so silently and painlessly. Or rather, it was more like her soul had vanished. The spirit of the original host must have disappeared, or else how could I have rebirthed in her place?

If not for her vow, she wouldn’t have admitted anything. But there was no other way for her to guess the true cause of death besides conjectures. Long Feiye fell silent as his gaze grew stagnant and dumbfounded. Han Yunxi suddenly felt afraid, but she didn’t know what she feared. She held him even tighter, terrified that she’d leave him, or that she couldn’t keep him.

“Long Feiye, do you understand? I’m not he West Qin princess. But I count as the West Qin princess regardless.” Han Yunxi realized that her own explanations were getting weaker. As Long Feiye remained mute, she grew desperate. “Long Feiye, do you understand? Do you believe what I’m saying?”

She cradled his face and looked into his eyes. “Long Feiye, say something! Answer me.”

Long Feiye took her hands aside as his handsome brow creased tightly. “Han Yunxi, if you don’t belong to this world, why did you end up here?”

“I...” Han Yunxi could only shook her head. “I don’t know, either.”

“Will you leave?” Long Feiye asked next. “When will you go back?”

Han Yunxi opened and closed her mouth. She wanted to respond, but she had no answers.

“Han Yunxi, if you don’t belong to this world, then do you still belong to me?” Long Feiye asked again, his voice very low. It scared her to hear him. He allowed her to hold him as he lowered his head. After a while, he murmured, “Answer me.”

Han Yunxi didn’t know whether she’d leave one day either, or when. If answering him without knowing for sure counted as lying, she’d acknowledge it this time! Long Feiye, you lied to me so many times. I count one time as a hundred times, so it’s been hundreds of hundreds of times by now.

If I lie to you once, will it make us even?

“Long Feiye, I don’t want to leave,” she cupped his face with her icy hands to force him to look at her. But he still didn’t budge. How listless he must feel to suddenly turn into this?

“Long Feiye, I won’t leave!” Han Yunxi said with determination. She let him keep his head bowed and lied down so she was resting on his crossed legs and peering at him from below. Her hands encircled around his neck. “Ye, trust me, I’m yours. I’ll always be yours.”

Last night, he said he wanted her to be with him lifetime after lifetime. Long Feiye, even if it’s a lie, please believe it, alright? Because I believe in it!

Wordlessly, Han Yunxi tugged Long Feiye down and kissed him!

It was a wild and fervent kiss! But no matter how she kissed them, she was still afraid. Fear gripped her from the bottom of her heart. How was she supposed to comfort him when she couldn’t even console herself?

Long Feiye, how am I supposed to believe or when you won’t even believe me?

Han Yunxi straightened up until she was sitting on Long Feiye’s legs to hold him, kiss him, and uncontrollably take off his clothes. She only wanted to give him everything, yet possess him utterly. Long Feiye allowed her wild actions with hooded eyes. It was unclear what he was thinking. It wasn’t until Han Yunxi had stripped them both bare and pushed him down that he woke up from his thoughts.

He looked at her before flipping her below him to take the initiative, acting even wilder than she did to invade her! And possess her!

Uncle Gao was so startled that he couldn’t continue to act dumb or deaf. He stopped the carriage and withdrew to the sidelines, a complicated expression on his face. Long Feiye must have been terrified; either that or he’d gone insane. Again and again, he did it with Han Yunxi as if wanting to crush her to pieces, as if wishing to destroy Heaven and Earth!

A long time later, he collapsed on top of Han Yunxi, physically paralyzed. “Yunxi, I believe you. Really.”

After that, he ran out of energy and fell into an unconscious stupor on top of her. Han Yunxi’s delicate body was covered in bruises and marks from his lovemaking. She almost felt like her soul was ready to leave her body, yet she felt no pain. Perhaps only such destruction could lead to rebirth. She actually found release and freedom from such ferocity and held him tightly as she squeezed her eyes shut. The corners of her eyes were cold and wet.

“I believe it too. Really.”

—

By the time Han Yunxi woke up, she realized that she wasn’t in the carriage anymore. Instead, she was lying prone in a tent without Long Feiye by her side. How long had she been asleep? Were they already at the East Qin barracks?

She wanted to get up, but her sore body made it impossible to even move. When she recalled their wild tryst, she smiled softly. Let wild things be wild things.

After lying down a while longer, she was finally able to get up. She walked around the tent and found out that it was neither big nor small. A tall curtain divided it in half to create and inner and outer room. Her bedroom could be considered the inner chamber. In a place where most people slept on mats on the floor without thoughts of a bed or couch, her bedcovers were resting on a layer of raised tatami mats. Next to her laid two chests.

Curious, Han Yunxi opened one and saw it full of new clothes: all hers, with none of Long Feiye’s. Only now did it sink in that she was a hostage who have no choice but to remain under house arrest. She couldn’t live together with Long Feiye...

Even so, that had to be better than facing against him in the battlefield. Han Yunxi next went to open the door...