23 | kiss it goodbye

"all rise," the bailiff started. "the supreme court

of the state of new york is now in session."

a bailiff is an official or police in a court of law who keeps order and makes announcements.

he went on to introduce the judge and do everything else they do.

me? i stood there, anxious as fuck.

now, in order for a trial to be considered fair, the defendant and their attorney must know what evidence will be used against them so they have a chance to refute it.

so when lisa presented the new evidence to me, i was immediately annoyed. but she prepared me for today so i think im ready.

billie on the other hand, i dont know. she's in the audience tapping her foot like crazy. when we were told that i had to go to trial, we were so bummed that we have to relive this shit.

also bummed that this'll be public to the world.

and oh yeah, also bummed that i could go to fucking prison for murder.

i know it was self defense, but not all self defense cases go through. if his family presented enough evidence to even get some shit started back up, then my chances are already looking shitty.

all we can do is hope for the best.

the bailiff called me up and had me swear in. "do you swear that the evidence you shall give to the court in this matter shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?"

once we got past all that, we got started.

"your honor, my client has raised concern over the murder of her beloved brother because of the questionable behavior that the defendant possess," the prosecutor, mr. clark said.

"like what?" the judge asked.

"there's been many cases where mrs. rose-o'connell has pulled a knife on different men and threatened their lives."

i just rolled my eyes.

"luckily, our girl is in the media so people are always video taping her," he said as he pulled out pictures of me and took them to the judges stand. "these are her pulling knives on different men."

the judge glanced at me and rose her eyebrows.

i'm fucked.

"so, who's to say it was self defense? maybe they had sex, he might've pissed her off, and she went for the kill."

blah blah blah..

eventually, it was my lawyer, lisa's turn.

"regardless of what those pictures show, my client doesn't even have a criminal record," she started.

"which means what?" mr. clark said.

"im talking," lisa looked back at him. "my client pulled those knives out as a scare tactic as those were men who were very physically, sexually, and emotionally abusive to her."

she continued saying her spill and then..

i was called to the stand for cross examination.

i went and sat in the witness chair and mr. clark began to question me.

"mrs. rose- o'connell," he started with a smirk on his face. "did you and mr. marino have any conflict during your time at victoria secret?"

i looked at lisa and she nodded her head, giving me approval.

"yes," i said.

"why?" he asked.

"because he began touching me inappropriately and i would get upset," i said lowly.

"fucking liar," luca's sister said.

"im not lying," i said back.

"ms. marino," the judge yelled. "quiet."

clark continued to ask me other questions pertaining to my relationship with luca and related things such as why i think he was faking his sexuality.

"now mrs. rose-o'connell," he approached me at the stand. "you lost a baby a couple years ago correct?"

my body suddenly tensed up as i was caught off guard.

lisa immediately stood up. "objection your honor, irrelevant."

"i'll allow it," the judge said.

"uh um.. yeah," i said lowly.

"you also almost passed from a deadly tumor correct?" he continued.

i furrowed my eyebrows at his boldness. "yes."

"very traumatizing events," he nodded. "so you got into therapy right?"

"i did," i nodded.

"but," he started. "you started dating your therapist, correct?"

"objection!" lisa stood up again.

"get to the point mr. clark," the judge told the man.

"the point is that you have a reputation of forming inappropriate relationships with people in business," he shrugged.

"how do you even know she was my ther-"

"let's move on shall we," mr. clark said as he paced back and forth in front of me. "not only were you caught pulling a knife on the father of your child in a smoothie place, but also scratching his car with the knife. that right there should have been a charge but he spared you."

"you also were caught straddling your ex boyfriend with a knife to his face after you dumped a drink on him and slapped him," he added, bringing out pictures from all those times.

i just looked at him, getting real upset.

"seems like you have a lot of rage mrs. rose."

"that's not fair," i shook my head. "they all provoked me."

"leilani," lisa said.

i looked at her and she shook her head, telling me to hush before i say something i don't need to.

"provoked you?" mr. clark asked. "just like luca did before you stabbed him? what could he have possibly did?"

i squinted. "raped me."

"or were you guys just involved with each other and you didn't get your way that day?" he asked. "and you didn't have a knife this time so you used a broken bottle."

"no!" i said. "absolutely not."

"we asked for the camera footage of the backstage area of the studio and it seems like you and him talked privately a lot."

"because he would always pull me aside," i said.

"because you two were involved," he added.

"no!" i exclaimed.

"so you didn't want a baby by him?" he rose his eyebrows.

"what?" my eyes got wide. "no! the hospital literally gave me an emergency contraceptive after the rape kit so that we could ensure i didn't get pregnant."

"hmm," he nodded. "well rumor has it that the night you killed him, he told you that you weren't going to model earlier that night. is that true?"

"yes," i rolled my eyes.

"i bet that really made you mad," mr. clark smirked.

i glanced at lisa and she was shaking her head no.

"um no," i lied. "i wasn't bothered because i got to walk anyway."

after a lot more bullshit questions, he started to ask about the killing itself.

"so in your police report, you stated that you did not stab marino until he began ejaculating in you," clark started. "why did you wait so long?"

"because i- i was passed out," i said.

"or you just wanted to get full satisfaction before ending his life-"

"he strangled me until i passed out!" i stood up. "and when i was passed out, he-" i sighed. "he did what he did," i sat down.

i looked in the audience and saw billie put her head down.

"i woke up to him still going and i was very weak at first," i continued. "but when he started to finish, that's when i gained enough courage and strength to break the bottle."

"so you stabbed him and he pulled the bottle out?" clark rose his eyebrows.

"yes," i nodded.

"you claim you didn't want him to die so why didn't you call anyone?"

"i was in shock. i literally ran in a corner and stayed there until billie showed up," i claimed.

"there's only one problem with that mrs. rose-o'connell," mr. clark chuckled. "the autopsy wasn't reported because you had already been cleared with the self defense claim but when asked to look at his body again, it was revealed that the stab wounds on his body didn't match to your description."

my heart dropped. "h- how?"

"the size of the broken bottle doesn't match the wound," he squinted. "meaning you did more than what you said."

i just stayed silent.

"so just tell the court what you did," he continued. "and why you chose to end this innocent man's life."

"he wasn't innocent!" i exclaimed.

"you could've just hit him on the head with the bottle-"

"i couldn't reach his head!" i exclaimed.

"you could've thrown it."

"i panicked!" i shouted. "i didn't know what else to do! i just wanted him off of me so i broke the bottle and stabbed him! and pulled it out and stabbed him again and again!" i said, now heavy breathing.

"im so tired of getting taken advantage of by men!" i continued. "and i was not going down without trying."

though that's what mr. clark wanted to get out of me, his reaction didn't seem so satisfied as he saw the tears forming in my eyes.

and now the whole courtroom was silent.

oh well...

"so," i said calmly a i looked at clark. "whenever you get relentlessly raped by a man, tell me how you react. and then judge me."

he just looked at me. "no further questions your honor."

lisa then stood up. "your honor, i need a moment with my client."

"let's take a 20 minute recess," the judge said. she even looked stressed out.

billie, lisa, and i met out in the hallway and i started freaking out. "i don't know what happened guys, im sorry."

"he snapped you," lisa nodded. "he got under your skin, it's not your fault. we just have to move forward since the court will now see you as a liar."

i rolled my eyes. "is there even hope for me now?"

"of course there is," billie looked at me. "right?" she looked at lisa.

lisa didn't say anything at first. "leilani the only thing that could give you hope is if you had witnesses," she started. "and that'd still be no guarantee because now the jury knows you lied. but it'd probably help."

"you just need some models to vouch for luca's inappropriate behavior," billie suggested.

"but no one ever spoke on anything negative there so i don't even know who had a bad encounter with him," i shrugged. "and plus, no girl is gonna wanna testify and risk losing her job in the industry."

"that's true," lisa said. "ugh, let me think."

"excuse me," billie said before walking away, taking a phone call.

"hey lani look," lisa grabbed my hands. "if we're able to tell the court what luca said to you when he broke in then maybe it'll help your case."

"but," i paused. "i never told billie."

"lani," she bucked her eyes at me. "you're gonna go to prison all because you wanted to spare billie's feelings?"

i looked down. "i- i-"

"if you continue to have them thinking he wasn't already mad when he did what he did then you might as well kiss the next 10 years of your life goodbye," she tilted her head.

i sighed.

to be continued..