20 | you want what you can't have

"she wants a cheesecake," billie told the waiter.

"um no i dont," i looked at her. "im good, thank you," i told the waiter.

the waiter then looked at billie and billie gave him a look, basically telling him to still bring me a cheesecake.

he did a nod and walked away.

i tilted my head. "b."

"lani we're on vacation," she told me. "it's literally our anniversary, you can have one slice of cheesecake. it's your favorite."

"i know but i can't," i shook my head. "mr. marino would fuss-"

"oh my god lani," billie chuckled. "fuck him, he can't stop you from doing anything."

"you know the diet they put us on b," i shrugged.

"one slice of cheesecake is not gonna make you put on weight babygirl," she said to me, grabbing my hands.

"that's not what he said-"

"leilani rose," b said kind of sternly. "why are you acting like you're afraid of him?"

"im not," i told her. "i just don't wanna get in trouble."

"okay lani," she sighed, letting go of my hands, and finally leaving it alone.

i get that she just wants me to enjoy my food without trying to worry about work but it's kind of hard when mr. marino is constantly on my dick about keeping my figure.

i really don't like him anymore, but we'll talk about that later.

"it'd be different if we didn't go back tomorrow," i explained to b. "if i eat it, i'll still be bloated and they'll be able to tell."

"how?" billie furrowed her eyebrows. "what, do they get you in underwear and thoroughly check your body or something?" she joked.

"once a week yeah," i said with a sigh.

"wait for real? like actually for real?" her eyes got slightly wide.

"mhm," i nodded, continuing to eat my salad.

"who-" she paused. "who checks them?"

"uh," i said lowly as i looked down.

"it's- it's marino isn't it?" b asked, wanting to be wrong.

i scratched behind my neck. "uh yeah."

"are you joking?" she looked at me with concern. like she really didn't want it to be true.

"no," i said lowly, looking at my plate to avoid eye contact.

"lani- okay wait," she set her fork down. "i have a question and i really need you to think on this one."

"no."

"huh?" she furrowed her eyebrows.

"the answer to your question," i started. "is no."

she just looked at me, kinda confused.

"you were gonna ask me if he's really gay like he acts? the answer is no," i said calmly and nonchalantly.

billie now looked hella concerned. "h- how do you know that?"

i sighed. "sometimes when we do the body checks, he'll 'accidentally' touch me somewhere."

i could see billie's body instantly tense up.

"he's never told me that he wasn't gay but it's so clear," i started. "he knows i know. he doesn't try to hide it anymore."

"like what do you mean?" she furrowed her eyebrows.

"like that feminine voice he talks with? fake as fuck," i shook my head. "whenever he's talking to me, he'll use his real voice which is deep and manly as fuck."

"also," i continued. "all the feminine mannerisms he has, he doesn't do that shit around me."

"oh my god," she looked down in thought. "so, when i came to your show and saw him pulling at your clothes, was he really trying to fix something?"

i licked my lips and looked down, not wanting to answer. "no."

"then what the fuck was he doing?" she asked, slightly raising her voice.

- flashback scene from ch 16 & 17 -

"okay ladies chop chop," mr. marino yelled out, clapping his hands. "time to start putting on the final touches to your lingerie. everyone needs to put their wings on as well."

"frankie can you help me please?" i walked over to her. "this one button just keeps popping open," i groaned as pointed at the corset i was wearing.

"yeah yeah," she quickly nodded as she squinted to focus on fixing the button. "okay there it should be good."

"thank you so much oh my god i was worried," i told her with a breath of relief.

"rose and barnett!" mr. marino called to us. "you two should be getting ready, not gossiping."

"oh i just asked her to help with my-"

"i didn't ask, rose," he cut me off.

frankie just looked at me with sympathy and rubbed my shoulder before walking off.

"now stop playing around and go get ready," he said, his voice suddenly deeper and masculine.

"she was literally fixing the button on my corset," i said with an attitude. "you didn't have to do that."

"excuse me?" he rose his eyebrows. "might i remind you who you're talking to?"

i kinda tensed up and looked down.

"mhm," he chuckled. "that's what i thought."

i just bit my tongue, that was the best option for me.

"you know better than to waste another model's time," he started. "next time you need help getting dressed, come to me," he smirked as he tugged on my corset.

i immediately swatted his hand.

he backed up and chuckled, then i turned my head as someone caught my attention through the corner of my eye.

it was billie.

my face lit up and i quickly ran into her arms. we hugged tightly as we hadn't seen each other in awhile.

as you may remember, billie and i had sex in the dressing room and i quickly rushed out when mr. marino called out my name and busted in the room, almost catching us.

after the show was over, marino came to the dressing room and called me to come outside. clearly, i already knew what it was about. and i thought i was fully prepared to get a simple fussing.

because if im being honest, things like that happen all the time. you guys have to remember that in the industry, they do EVERYTHING.

billie and i were not the first to fuck in that dressing room and he knows it. they usually brush that shit off and just tell us not to do it.

i walked into the hallway and grinned slightly as he gave me the meanest look, having a sucker hanging out of his mouth.

"pull some shit like that again and i'll fire you quicker than you came on billie," he said.

i rose my eyebrows in shock at his inappropriate statement. "excuse me?"

"you heard me," he said.

"wha- last week you literally caught allison sucking a camera man's dick during a show and you didn't even care," i argued. "but you threaten to fire me because i fucked my wife in a whole ass dressing room? at least i did it before the show."

"i don't care," he shrugged. "you know how it is, rose."

"i dont understand," i shook my head. "that's not fair."

"life isn't fair," he said, elevator eyeing me sexually. "if i had my way, a lot would be different."

i made a stank face. "you're disgusting."

"keep on," he rose his eyebrows. "i can still fire you."

i huffed and squinted at him.

then he smirked. "don't worry. if you ever lose this job, i have another one for you," he winked as he put the sucker back in his mouth.

my eyes widened. that was a smooth joke, but very unprofessional and not funny at all.

he chuckled and at my reaction and walked off.

- end of flashback -

billie looked pissed. "wha- why didn't you tell me about this?"

"because i know how you are b," i started. "you're liable to kill a man behind me and i don't want you in jail."

"leilani," she looked at me with seriousness.

"it's fine," i assured her. "i've learned to just not say anything to him at all. every since that day, i avoid him as much as i can."

"you shouldn't have to do that though baby," billie shook her head.

"i know but," i shrugged. "you know the industry. it doesn't matter. just please don't say or do anything babe."

"yeah," she nodded.

- billie's pov -

it's days later and lani and i are back in new york. im currently dropping her off at the VS studio and i'll be back later to watch the show.

i pulled around to the back of the building to let her out so she can walk in through the back door and straight to backstage. we both got out the car and she walked over to the driver side.

"give me a kiss mama," i told her as i had my arms wrapped around her waist.

she kissed my lips and i rubbed her ass.

"hey don't do too much," she said with a smirk. "cause we can get in that back seat."

"no," i laughed. "go," i told her. "i'll see you tonight."

she smiled and walked in to the building. my smile quickly faded and i got back in my car. i pulled my car into a spot around the building and got out.

i waited a couple minutes and put my shades on before walking into the building through the same back door lani did.

i put my hands in the pockets of my baggy jeans as i walked down the hallway, looking for the room.

after passing by multiple rooms, i approach one that has a sign that reads 'creative director' on the door.

without hesitation, i knock on the door.

"yes?" he called out in a feminine tone.

hmph.

i immediately open the door and walked in.

luca marino was sitting at his desk looking at shit on his computer.

"oh- can i help you?" he asked with slightly wide eyes as im sure he didn't expect to see me.

i quickly closed the door, making him stand up out his chair in caution. i took my shades off and cleared my throat.

"i don't know what the hell is wrong with you but you need to stay away from my wife," i said sternly as i got in his face.

he smirked. "oh she's venting to you?"

he thinks this shit is funny.

"im not playin," i assured him. "keeping fucking around and i'll tell the media how you really are."

"you don't know me miss eilish," he crossed his arms.

"i know you're pretending to be gay," i rose my eyebrows.

he smirked quickly dropped.

"and the fact that you're doing it just so girls will feel more comfortable around you in underwear is sick," i said. "you're faking a sexuality for your own damn pleasure."

"watch it billie," he said lowly and sternly, his voice suddenly very deep and masculine.

"or what?" i furrowed my eyebrows. "you have a fucking problem."

"i don't have shit," he argued back.

"yes you do." i stated. "and i know what it is, you want leilani. and you can't have her, and that makes you so mad that you treat her like shit up here."

he scoffed. "you think you got me all figured out huh?" he rose his eyebrows.

"not at all," i said calmly as i shook my head. "but i know you wanna fuck my girl."

he squinted at me, hella annoyed.

i placed my hands on his desk, leaning over to get closer to him and in his face. i then continued to whisper "lay a finger on her again, and i will fucking kill you."

he licked his teeth in annoyance and held eye contact with me as he didn't say anything else.