31 | Petunia

"Hello petunia, it is I. Alecccc."

"Um...what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing! I am just peeeeachy. Hey! Why is it peachy and not, like, appley, or grapey, or orangey, or strawbe—strawberr—wait—strawberryey?"

"Yeah that sure is something to think about."

"Or banana—"

"Alec please stop naming off fruits, I don't know the answer. And you, are so hammered."

"What? No I'm not! I am perrrrfectly fine."

"Yeah you sure sound it."

"Ok maybe I had one alcohol. But that's it!"

"You are such a liar."

"Whoa! How did you know I was lying? That's crazy! Can you read minds or something?"

"Yes, I can. Alec, I thought you said you were done this and that drinking and partying or whatever was what ruined a big portion of your life."

"I know. I didn't mean to. I haaate disappointing you because you are the best girl in all the land. Like you're practically perfect!"

"No. I'm not."

"You're just—you know like a unicorn. You're there and real but I never see you and can't actually touch you."

"I um...wait you know unicorns aren't real right?"

"Oh. Well what's the one without the—like—you know spike on its head? You know the spiky thingy? That like looks like a unicorn but isn't?"

"A horse?"

"Yes! That's it! You're like a horse."

"Wow. Ok, I don't really know how to respond to that."

"They're just so majestic. You know? And sometimes I wonder if they're even from our planet because they're just so...you know?"

"Alec. I—just wow. You're not planning on driving home tonight right?"

"No, I'm sleeping here at Triscuit's."

"Do you mean Tristan's?"

"Oh yeah. Hah! Tristan! You know your names sounds a lot like Triscuits!"

"Oh yeah! Wild!"

"It really just doesn't..."

"Yeah, so I'm just sleeping here on his couch, see?"

"No, I can't see. Put your phone back to your ear, we're not FaceTimeing."

"Hah. Weird. Wait why don't we FaceTime? Because then I can see you and you can see me and I can see you!"

"I don't think that's a good idea. Especially not when you're like this."

"But it's almost like—I feel like—you know that you don't want to see me or meet me. It kinda makes me sad face."

"It's complicated Alec."

"Psh. Fine party pooper dooper."

"Ok, I'm going to go to bed, it's 1:30 am. So, this was weird as always, goodnight."

"You mean good morning? Hah. Because it's morning."

"Sure, good morning."

....................................

"Hey Tristan, do you have any Triscuits?"

"No, but I do have cheez-its!"

"Yeah that'll work. Thanks."

"Hey, what's up? You were just partying a few seconds ago."

"I'm pretty good with the ladies. Right?"

"Duuuuude listen, whoever doesn't like you is like bananas nuts crazy in my book."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah! You're great!"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah!"

"I'm great!"

"You're great!"

"Woooo!"