[13]: Loyalty

I am not sure how long I have been gone.  Unsure of how long my wolf and I have been running.  The questions and suspicions plaguing me still.  I couldn't help myself in comparing what I had with Rachel with Leilani.  No matter what had happened in the end, it hadn't always been like that.  A year ago today, and I would never have thought I would be the one that took her life.  In all our years together, I never once questioned her loyalty to me as a man.  Suspicions had never arisen in our five years together.  I never ever questioned her wanting or being with anyone other than me.  Never questioned her love for me.

Now, with Leilani, only a few months in, and I was already questioning her relationship with another man.  I know after last night, she hadn't shared her body with him.  But that doesn't mean she wouldn't in the future.

Was she exacting her revenge on me?

This whole time, was she making me fall in love with her so she could hurt me as I hurt her?

Did she really love me?

Or was it all a sick game of revenge for her?

I can't let these questions fester in me.  I needed the answers to them, and she was the only one whom could give me the answers I needed.  I needed to get home, to face this.  Whatever it is, I needed to confront it.  I know I have no choice but to accept her as my mate.  The consequences to dire.

Turning around, I let me wolf lead me back to the house.  Lead me back to my uncertain future with Leilani.

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[Leilani's POV]

Strange, I hadn't heard Damien tell me he was leaving.  A feeling of uncertainty going through my mind.   I had to find a way to get these lingering doubts out of my mind.  He had done so much, said so much to make things up to me, and after last night I shouldn't have doubts in him anymore.  But still, I had them.  I hope one day they will disappear, I think to myself as I am mindlessly brushing my wet hair.

Just as I was wrapped up in my thoughts, I heard my phone ring on the dresser.  Picking it up, I notice Scott's name flashing on the faceplate giving me indication of who is calling.  I touch the screen to connect the call.

"Scott?"

"Sorry to call you so early Leilani." I hear him say with anxiousness in his voice

"No, its fine.  How can I help you?"

"I'm not sure if you can help, but I have run out of options.  I called even if there is a small chance."

"Chance of what?"

"Elise isn't there is she?"

"No, why would she be here?"

"I don't know. I can't find her.  She left me last night."  I hear him say, the last part his voice cracking in pain.

"I totally fucked up with her Leilani.  Everything I thought was true, wasn't.  I failed her.  I punished her for something she had no control of, and I have been punishing her for months. I have to find her, to make it right.  But she left, and I can't find her.  I don't know what to do Leilani." he says sobbingly.

"Calm down Scott, we will find her.  I will help you find her."

"Thank you Leilani, for being a friend."

"No problem, let me get dressed.  I will tell Damien about what is going on.  And then I will head over to you. okay?  We will do this together."

"Okay."

"See you soon Scott."

"Be sure to bring Alex or Damien with you.  There are still rogues prowling about here and there. Okay?"

"Yes, I am always careful.  Goodbye Scott."

"Bye Leilani."

I ended the call, just as I heard the door on Damien and I's bedroom being ripped from its hinges. Damien's irate form in the doorway, seething in anger.

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I entered the house, going straight to our bedroom.  Walking up the stairs, I heard the low murmur of her voice behind the door.   Standing there, I placed my ear up next to the door, listening to what she was saying.

"And then I will head over to you. okay?  We will do this together."

A second or two passes before I hear her say.

"Yes, I am always careful.  Goodbye Scott."

My anger crests as I hear her say his name.  My uncontrollably rage at her demanding retribution on this woman.  I push the door in with all my strength, and I watch as it splinters from the door as if it weren't made of wood, but of fragile glass.  I storm into the room, the crashing of the door causing Leilani to quickly look my way with surprise in her eyes, that then turns into worry.

"What the fuck is the meaning of this?" I roar at her.

"Meaning of what Damien? What's wrong?" she asks with worry.

"Oh don't act dumb now."

"I don't understand what you are saying Damien.  What's wrong?"

"Since you want to keep up with this little charade.  Let me enlightening you,  my little precious mate." I say so harshly that I see Leilani flinch. "I know what you are doing."

"I don't understand, why you would be angry if you know?" she says in a confused voice.

"Why I would be angry? You think I would be okay with you meeting with Scott? Do you think me stupid?"

"Damien. I think you have it wrong.  Let me explain." she starts to say.

"Explain what!?  I know all about your little game.  I know what you have been doing behind my back."

"Behind your back? I don't know what you are talking about Damien!"

"I must admit, this little show you are giving is worthy of an award.  But I have caught you red-handed, and you have given me all the proof I need of what you have done.." I state as I walk to towards her side of the bed.

Stopping just short of her night stand, I turn around and look at her again.

"What proof Damien? Proof of what?"

"Still keeping up with this little act I see.  But since you want to play dumb, I will go along with it. I have all the proof of your relationship with Scott."

She looks at me completely confused, and it angers me even more.

"First I smelled him on you that day you went to town, and I ignored it.  Then I catch you outside with him alone last night, in an embrace." I state as I lean down and violently open her nightstand.to retrieve the note from Scott.

Taking the note, I crumple it in my hands and throw it at her as I state. "Then I find this note in  here and find out he bought you the dress I took off your body last night."

I watch as she bends down to retrieve the note in her left hand, before I finish.  "And last, I catch you in our very room, making plans to see each other.  Telling him how you will be careful!"

"Damien you have it all wrong.  Scott needs me..." she states but I cut her off mid-sentence.

"I don't give a shit what he needs, or what you need.  This whole fucking time you were playing with me, weren't you?  You made me love you, let me love your body last night.  You gave me the best night of my life, but you were giving your heart to him! No matter what Rachel did in the end, she would have NEVER done this to me!  She was loyal to me and only me!"

At the mention of Rachel's name, I see Leilani's shoulders begin to shake.  At some point in my tirade she had turned her back to me.  For a second, I think she is sobbing, and part of me wants to comfort her, the feeling so strong to take her in my arms.  But I watch her slowly turn around, and her eyes were filled with with unfiltered rage.  Rage I had never seen come from her before.  On shaking legs, she slowly approaches me.  Her voice low and menacing.

"You dare question my loyalty Damien? You dare to question my love for you?" she says ending it with a small monotone anger filled laugh.

"Then you have the nerve to compare me to that, that BITCH!  You obviously don't know me at all Damien.   Stupid, stupid man.  Yes, I met Scott in town.  Yes, he bought me that dress.  Yes, I hugged him.  Yes, that was him on the phone and I did make plans to meet him.  But you see, while you were questioning my loyalty, I was helping a friend.  Did you know his mate cheated on him? By the stunned look on your face, I gather not.  He confided in me, because I knew what he had went through, and I was helping him as a FRIEND!  I would have told you of my plans to see him, had you given me the chance, but you didn't.  Instead you sit there on your high horse, and question MY LOYALTY TO YOU!  It should be me who questions you, not you questioning me. Do you even know what all you have put me through? DO YOU!? Do you know of all the pain you placed at my feet? Not the emotional pain, but the actual physical pain for two YEARS. TWO YEARS!"

I look at her confused, my eyes widen as she continues to talk.

"I am guessing you never took to time to actually read the book I gave you about the fallen did you, my precious little mate?" she says throwing the same harsh endearment in my face.

"If you had read it, you would have found out that every fucking time you fucked her, I felt it.  Every time you were enjoying her body in your bed, I was enjoying the burning inferno that consumed my body.  As you lay in your soft bed, I was enjoying the cold tiles of my bathroom floor, my body filled with so much pain and agony.  NIGHT AFTER NIGHT!  It felt like someone was reaching into my gut, and pulling everything out of me, crushing me in its pain.  Your pleasure was my pain. THAT is what you subjected me to.  THAT is what your selfishness cost me!  And through all of that, I still loved you.  I suffered silently for my love for you.  Willing to DIE for my love for you.  But here you stand, after I have shared not only my heart with you, but my body, and dare to question MY LOYALTY!  Where is yours!?  Where is yours for me!?  I hate you Damien.  Loving you has cost me too much! ' I hear her say.

I can't move, I can't do anything.  Too shocked with her admission.  Disgusted with myself, I watch as she storms out of the room.  I hear the front door slamming shut.  I turn my head to the window, and I see her transform into her beautiful white wolf, and run for her life.

Realizing yet again, I have just broken a promise to her.  Not knowing what I can say or do to fix this again, I run out our room, going to her.  Hoping the damage isn't too far gone, and I can do something, anything to make up for what I just did.  But knowing I couldn't.

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[Unknown POV]

I watch as she exits the house and transforms, running away.  It is time, finally.