Chapter 4

ARLO

Her name is Lily, and she’s my mate.

I knew I would meet my mate one day.

The girl whom I was supposed to fall head over heels for. While I knew this, I never once accepted it. Especially since I am already head over heels for Talia, my brother’s mate.

I met Talia when I was ten.

I knew her before my brother did and fell in love with her before him. But that meant nothing as soon as Talia met him. They both knew instantly that they were made for each other.

It crushed my heart.

Ever since then, I have been watching them together, from the sidelines. I’ve watched Talia laugh and cry at Arden. Every day, I see her eyes light up when Arden steps in.

Her eyes never do that for me.

But I don’t care.

While Talia is clueless about my feelings for her, I know that she is still my world. Talia is incredibly beautiful, inside and out. She holds my heart in a steel prison, keeping it locked away from everyone else.

~No way~ I thought to myself.

Not even my mate.

Sure, she is pretty. I’ll give her that. She probably has a good heart, but I don’t want her. I will never want her.

She isn’t my Talia. My little goddess.

Lily can’t hold a candle to Talia. Talia has a blanket of warmth around her that comforts everyone who is around her. She is the purest person I’ve ever met.

Once again, I can feel Lily’s eyes on me.

Due to the mate bond, my heart skips a beat and my stomach erupts with butterflies. But it’s not real—my feelings for Lily aren’t the same. Talia makes me feel these things; it’s not a biological thing like it is with Lily.

~It’s all part of the mate bond. ~Lily is only making these emotions stir in me because of the Moon Goddess. She is the one who did this.

~I should reject her, ~I think, causing my wolf to growl at me.

He wants our mate but I don’t. Since I always have control, he will never get the chance to have her. He doesn’t understand my feelings for Talia, never has.

Sure, I will never be able to call her mine, have her in my arms or kiss her, but I will always love her.

It would be unfair to Lily too. She would be mated to someone who is in love with someone else.

That’s why it’s best we are never together. Rejection is a horrible process, and I don’t really want to put myself or Lily through it. She doesn’t deserve the emptiness in the pit of her stomach for the rest of her life.

If I avoid her, the mate bond won’t strengthen, and she will be able to function properly. Staying away from her is a great plan. I only have to do it for nine months, and then I will never have to see her again.

My wolf whines at the thought, but I shush him.

Lily just isn’t right for me, even if the Moon Goddess thinks so.

“Yo, bro, what has gotten into you?” my brother asks me later that evening with some of our pack members.

My brother is the soon-to-be alpha, so he gets a special room to chill. Since I’m going to be his beta, I get many of the same privileges he does. “You’ve been acting…distant.”

Throwing back the alcohol in my glass, I shrug my shoulders. “I dunno. I’m just tired, I guess.”

My brother has no idea about Lily and I’m planning to keep it that way.

If he finds out about her, he’ll demand to know why I’m not with her. I don’t want to tell him why since he has no idea about my feelings for Talia. If he did, his wolf would take over and attack me.

Wolves are very protective and possessive when it comes to their mates, especially alphas.

Arden doesn’t look convinced by my answer. “Are you sure? I feel like you’re hiding something from me.”

~I’ve been hiding something from you for the past eight years, you dipshit.~

Sometimes, I get extremely angry with my brother. I love him so much—he’s an amazing brother—but sometimes, I get jealous of what he has.

He has Talia, the girl I love more than anything else.

So, of course, I loathe him sometimes.

“I’m not hiding anything, brother. I haven’t been sleeping well, that’s all,” I reply. My dreams last night were consumed by Lily. She had taken over my entire brain for one night. “Anyway, what did Dad say about the ceremony?”

My brother is going to be appointed alpha in a month. He has to undergo a ritual to officially take the role.

I have to do the same; so does Talia.

A few alphas from different packs around the country have to spectate this ceremony to confirm it happened, so my dad and Arden have to organize transport and accommodation for them.

It can be very hard getting the other alphas to come on a certain day together.

“Alpha Caesar and Alpha Lennox can come on the thirtieth of October for one night; however, Alpha Jonas is still a problem. He says he has a very important meeting that day,” my brother informs me, sighing tiredly.

~He’s drained now despite not being the alpha. How on earth is he going to cope next month?~

Being alpha is a tough job.

I respect every single alpha and luna who lead their pack. Seeing my dad come home exhausted and stressed every night gave me insight into what they have to do. Being an alpha takes a massive toll on him.

“I’m sure Dad will work it out,” I assure him, attempting to ease his worries.

Arden harrumphs and leans back in his chair. Our future gamma, Cabe, takes a swig of his gin and whiskey and exits the room to see his mate.

My eyes remain focused on the bottle of gin and I can’t stop eyeing it with interest. Is that what I’m going to resort to? Alcoholism?

“Arlo, I have something to confess,” Arden suddenly blurts out.

I glance back at him with cool eyes.

“What is it?”

“Talia is starting to worry about becoming luna. She thinks she isn’t good enough,” he explains, worry and sadness rimming his brown eyes.

Clearly, this has been going on for some time. “I’ve tried convincing her that she’s perfect for the role and that she will be amazing, but she doesn’t believe it.”

I blow out a breath.

So, it appears my goddess has been battling some insecurities without me. I can’t have that. Talia is too perfect for everything—she is like a goddess. My little goddess.

~But she isn’t yours~, a sinister voice cackles inside of my head. Fisting my fingers together, I block out that horrible, realistic voice.

“Talia is more than fit for the role,” I state confidently. I know this for a fact.

Talia is amazing; she is so kind and understanding. She doesn’t even realize how everyone instinctively floats toward her.

For years, she has been comfortable and accepting of her future role. She’s known what she’s going to be.

My own mother has been helping her for the past year, giving her advice on what to do. She is more than ready. I know it, my brother knows it, and so does the rest of the pack.

“I know,” my brother says and then leaps to his feet angrily. “Goddammit, I know she’s ready. Why can’t she see that she is? It’s worrying me what she’s starting to say.”

Hating the fact that my brother and future alpha is distressed, I walk over to him and place a comforting hand on his shoulder.

I need to help both of them. My little goddess doesn’t deserve to think like this. She shouldn’t suffer like this—I won’t allow it.

“Do you want me to talk to her? I can try and knock some sense into her,” I offer, praying he will accept my offer.

Because I’m going to do it anyway and I’d rather have my brother’s consent.

Arden nods his head, causing a few strands of his overgrown brown hair to fall into his face. “Thank you, Arlo, I don’t know what I would do without you.

~Without me, you would have never met Talia and she could have been mine.~

“It’s nothing. After all, what are brothers for?”