Detonate: Chapter 38

Holy shit. Pregnant?

The doctor excuses himself and leaves the room.

“Grayson, talk to me. Please.” Warm tears stream down my face. My breathing becomes labored. What have I done?

“I didn’t do this on purpose, I promise you. I’m sorry,” I sob, letting go of his hands.

I bring my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them, smothering my head on my thighs. The bed squeaks. I peer above my knees. Grayson is sitting on the edge of the bed, his hand reaching out to mine.

“What are we going to do, Grayson?”

His hand squeezes mine. Tears well in his eyes, which only makes mine fall harder.

“We deal with this together. I will support you with whatever you want to do, Maddie.” His voice almost breaks as he speaks, but pulls himself together.

“No wonder my dress is so tight!” I hiccup, and he gives me a sad smile, his eyes briefly settling on my stomach, lighting up as he does.

“Lie down,” he demands, and as always, when he uses that authoritative tone, my body responds instantly. My head hits the pillow. The mattress dips as he pushes himself off the bed. He bends over, his head resting on my lower stomach. I push myself up onto my elbows.

He presses kisses around my stomach.

“Ours,” he chokes out. He rests his head on me, and I put my weight into my right arm and reach out to him with my other, running my fingers through his hair. To the rest of the world, this would be the perfect moment.

For us, I’m not sure what this means.

I’ve always dreamed of being a mom. I know I’d be a damn good one. But can I really bring a baby into our life?

“I can hear your thoughts from here, Sunshine.”

I can’t even bring myself to answer him. I can’t.

“I will protect you and this child with everything. Never doubt that. No one touches what’s mine and gets to live to tell the tale.” The violence in his tone makes the hairs on my back stand to attention.

I don’t doubt him.

That man would risk it all for us.

I take a deep inhale, mustering the courage to ask.

“Do you want to be a father? This was never in your plan. I can’t force you to be something you aren’t. You told me you wouldn’t change. This”—I gesture at my stomach—“is a pretty big life change, Grayson.”

I can’t do this on my own.

I can’t be without him either.

“That was all before I fell in love with you, Maddie. I want to give you everything. Fuck, you changed everything for me, Sunshine. Just like I knew you would.”

His eyes pin mine, welling with tears, just like my own.

“I want this.”

He cups my jaw.

“What do you say, Sunshine?”

“I want this too.”

He kisses the top of my head. “I love you.”

I nuzzle into his chest and close my eyes; his fresh smell of aftershave lulling me to sleep.

We’re having a baby.