Detonate: Chapter 1

January 2022

My eyes flutter closed and my fingers trail to the hem of my panties. The only way I get off now is imagining Grayson and all the deliciously wicked things he can do with his mouth.

My fingers slide up and down my slit as I take myself back to the day Grayson saved my best friend.

We pull up outside Sienna’s ex-fiancé’s apartment, the asshole that kidnapped her. Keller had carried Sienna into the car and they were on their way to the hospital. Nico, her moody Italian bodyguard, informed me that her condition was bad.

The rain pelts against the car window as I stare at the entrance to Jamie’s apartment. Men swarm the building from all angles.

Grayson stalks out of the building, his face expressionless. He runs a hand across his face, smearing the blood that drips from his hair. His white shirt is stained in crimson.

Relief washes over me when I realize he is ok. Despite the past few months of constantly bickering with him, I never wanted him to get hurt, but I never want to stop giving him shit either. It’s amusing to rile him up.

Why the hell do I care so much about him?

All these months, his existence has irritated me. But right this second, the only thing that matters is his well-being.

Luca shouts at him from behind, and Grayson turns, revealing the silver gun in his hand.

I grab the handle of the car door and pull, but it doesn’t open. The urge to run to him takes over. I need his comfort. I need to know if Sienna is ok. I need to know what happened. This is all my fault.

“Nico, open the door!” I shout, urgency taking over.

“It’s not safe, Maddie, I shouldn’t have even brought you here. Boss will kill me.”

“Open the fucking door, otherwise I’ll kill you myself,” I snap.

The click of the locks fills the car as I swing open the door. In my haste, I only threw on a white shirt and jeans. The rain hammers against my skin, soaking me completely. I run over to Grayson, and he freezes when he spots me. Blood and rain drip off his face; his sandy hair now dark from being drenched. Even now, he’s gorgeous. His tall, powerful frame instantly makes me feel safe. I know nothing will happen if he’s here.

I launch myself into his arms and nuzzle my face into him.

“Sunshine, what are you doing here? It’s not safe,” he whispers. Tingles spread throughout my body as his warm breath hits my throat.

“I needed to make sure Sienna was ok, that you were ok. This is all my fault. I should never have left her. I didn’t know what was happening,” I croak out.

His fingers stroke my hair, soothing me.

“Shhh. She will be ok. I promise, I’m fine. This is not your fault.”

Our noses brush. Desire courses through me for this sexy, tattooed, protective giant. The one I’ve secretly, desperately craved.

His gaze flickers to my lips, then to my eyes.

To hell with it. I want this man.

I slam my lips to his, and his body goes rigid. Embarrassment washes over me as I pull away, turning my head away from him.

“Fuck it.” With that, he grabs the back of my head and devours my lips. A metallic tinge of blood mingles into our kiss. His hand pulls the back of my head even closer into him. His tongue dances with mine.

It’s the kiss that makes my pussy throb and my toes curl.

The kind that steals all my breath away.

“Grayson, we need to go. Now!” someone barks behind us.

He breaks the kiss, shakes his head, and brings his forehead to mine.

“You need to go, Maddie.” He sighs.

“Fuck,” he mutters as he turns his back and storms away. Leaving me in the rain with swollen lips. Without even so much as a glance back, he gets into a black Mercedes and drives away.

I muffle my moans as my climax builds, biting down on my forearm. I’m still not used to living on my own and not having to hide my orgasms. In my head, the kiss doesn’t stop there; he takes me home and fucks me into next week.

And this is my problem. I can’t stop picturing Grayson fucking me.

Even though Gregory the accountant kissed me earlier.

I’d been expecting that toe-curling, life-altering kiss that Grayson and I shared last year.

As soon as Gregory’s lips touched mine, my brain shot right back to that day. The day that seems to have cursed my dating life since, leaving me incredibly sexually frustrated. No one can get me going anymore. Every damn time, all I see is Grayson’s piercing blue eyes and his face smeared in blood. Hence, my date tonight with Gregory in a bid to move on.

Now that he’s gone, loneliness and frustration consume me for another night.

Sienna’s happiness is so contagious. But damn, I am sick and tired of being a third wheel.

I sigh into my glass of white wine whilst leaning over the breakfast bar in their extravagant midnight blue kitchen. Keller wraps Sienna in a tight embrace. They assume I can’t hear the dirty shit he’s whispering into her ear. Their four-month-old daughter—Darcy—is nuzzled into Keller’s side. A precious little bundle of light.

“Come on, guys. Some of us single, lonely people over here don’t need to witness this!” I say, faking a pout.

“Oh, Maddie, what about Gregory?” Sienna asks, leaning back into Keller’s arms.

“We’re just keeping it casual and seeing where it goes.” I know where it’s going. Fucking nowhere, but I don’t want to lose him just yet. He’s nice, we get along well, but as friends.

“And Grayson?” Keller chimes in, trying to cover it with a cough. Sienna elbows her tattooed husband in the stomach. “What?” he questions Sienna, raising his eyebrow.

The mention of his name is enough to fill me with frustration.

Grayson Ward, the complete opposite of everything I need. Mr. Playboy, who gets on about every one of my last nerves. He has done that since the moment I met him last year at Keller’s night club, The End Zone. We’ve just wound each other up. That was until the kiss that I shall never talk about ever again. He’s avoided me since then.

“Maddie?”

Sienna calling my name breaks me out of my Grayson spell.

“What?”

“I asked if you’d heard from Grayson recently?” Sienna says with a soft smile.

“Nope. Why would I?” I shoot Sienna a glare, hoping she shuts up.

“Just wondering. Keller said he’s been acting weird since the whole kidnapping thing.”

“The whole kidnapping thing…” I laugh nervously. “You mean, the day you nearly died, thanks to your crazy ex-fiancé?” A day that still haunts me. If I hadn’t left her alone, it might never have happened.

“Oh, Maddie. Look, we’ve never been happier, we are all safe and ok. Please stop blaming yourself. I’m just glad he never hurt you.” She rushes over and wraps me up tight.

She is the strongest woman I know. They’re a match made in heaven, true twin flames. Proof that love conquers all. She even accepted that her now-husband and his brother were running the mafia and took it all in her stride. That shit is wild.

“Anyway, why would Grayson’s mood have anything to do with me?” I ask, desperate to change the conversation. I wish I hadn’t told Sienna about the kiss with he-who-shall-not-be-named.

It’s been four months since I last saw him, the day I met baby Darcy. The same day he spat his beer out and stormed out without even giving me a second glance after Sienna asked about my date with Gregory. I don’t understand him.

“Don’t you two have to go get ready? The taxi is going to be here in an hour,” Keller announces, breaking the awkward silence that fills the room.

I nod and guzzle the contents of my glass. The smooth bubbles sliding down my throat are giving me the buzz that I need. It’s Sienna’s first official girls’ night-out since she gave birth and I’m sure as hell going to give her a night to remember.

“Yes!” she squeals, grabbing my hand, and pulling me away from the counter. “I really need you to give me a make-over, I look like such a mom,” she pleads with puppy eyes, running her hands through her fuzzy hair. I laugh as she drags me down the hall. “That would be because you are one, Si. A damn good one.”

A small smile stretches her lips as she wraps me up in a tight embrace.

I return the hug and sigh into her shoulder. I miss having her around every day.

“Thank you, Maddie. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I told you before, you’ll always have me. Love you, bestie.”

“I love you too.”

We make our way to the master bedroom. This girl has a dream house. It’s just too cute that Keller bought this place for her, for them to turn into a family home. It’s gorgeous and can fit all those ten kids they’re aiming for.

While she hops into the shower, I quickly change into my gold sequin dress that I brought with me. It hugs my figure in all the right places. Then, on her dressing table, I spread out my supplies.

By the time I’m done, she is out of the shower. I swipe on a deep red lipstick to finish my look. I look fuckable, to be honest.

“Wow, Maddie, you look stunning!”

“Aww, thanks, Si. Now go dry your hair so I can get you glammed up.” I grab my phone and then settle on her bed, sinking into the mattress. Shit, this must be the comfiest bed I’ve ever laid on. Now all I want to do is lie here and scroll aimlessly through Instagram.

“Have you seen your parents lately?” Sienna asks.

I can’t resist the eye roll at the mention of my mom.

“Eurgh, no. Not for a while, thank god.”

“Oh god, Mads. Is she still on her you must get married before you’re childbearing days are over warpath?”

“Oh, of course. She’s desperate for me to find a date to bring to our family Valentine’s meal. I swear she does this every year to remind me that I’m single. I mean, nothing I ever do is good enough. Unlike Eddie, my perfect-ass brother with his perfect wife and perfect job.”

“I hate that she’s like this with you, Maddie.” She sits on the edge of the bed next to me. “I have no doubt you will find the perfect man. Don’t let her force you into anything.”

I wish I didn’t feel this need to please her. I’m even avoiding my dad now, even if I miss him. I just can’t handle my mom’s uncomfortable judgment about everything in my life. Even my weight, for god’s sake.

“Yeah, maybe.” It’s so embarrassing. “I just want someone to make me feel safe, to love me, you know? I don’t seem to click with anyone. No matter how many dates I go on.”

“Well, maybe you’re looking in the wrong places.” She nods, tapping my hand before getting off the bed and heading back into the bathroom.

What does that mean?

A knock at the front door booms through the house. Sienna flips on the hairdryer, so I get off the bed.

The knocks get incessantly louder as I pad toward the staircase. Jesus, someone’s eager. If they wake Darcy whilst Keller’s putting her down for a nap, he will kill them.

“Hang on, I’m coming.”

I can’t wait to rip this asshole a new one.