Chapter 21: Boom Clap, The Sound Of My Heart

Chapter 21

Mickey 'Mike' Hollister

Boom Clap, The Sound Of My Heart

There's a disgusting feeling that is swarming inside my stomach, to the point that I want to vomit and let out of what I have eaten, which were cheese and cakes and ice creams. I had brought Brad with me and enjoyed every moment with him. I thought he would like to have a treat. He did. He enjoyed as we strolled around the park, watching other kids play with their kites or friends. We had a deal though. Brad said he doesn't have any friends. Only at school. So I suggested that I would be his best friend. We would be best of friends.

My limbs go numb as I watch the sight in front of me. I hope Brad would take long enough to get out of the car because he accidentally spilled his Skittles and is trying to gather it all. Eros' eyes meet mine and they widen in shock as he sees me mouth agape at them. What to do?

It looks like I'm ready to spill the disgusting thing inside my stomach so I bolt out of the living room and head upstairs to my room, and I feel like I'm being suffocated, so I just carelessly open the bathroom, and it makes a loud, booming sound as it hits the tiled wall, run over the toilet, kneel down, and vomit. It tastes sour as it connects with my taste buds and I grimace. I let out all the foods I have eaten. I feel sick. When I saw Eros kissing another woman, I felt a sharp pang on my heart. It was like it was being stomped by him, torturing me as the woman kissed him passionately. It seemed like he was enjoying it, until he saw me, which made her push the woman off of him, and he 'accidentally' touched her breasts.

My room's door bursts open and makes a loud bang which rings in my ears, and it hurts my ears, and I do a little jump, not expecting it to happen.

Eros rushes on my side and rubs my back with his soft palm. I look up at him and see his eyes are looking directly right at me, and he has a worried expression plastered on his face. Then the image of the woman kissing him full on the lips has made me vomit again, so I snap my head to the toilet bowl and release the foods that taste awful on my taste buds. He rubs my back more softly this time. And then he speaks.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, his hand stops rubbing my back.

I want to ask him some questions. Like, who is the girl? Why was she kissing him? Why is she in our house? What is she doing here? Who is her in Eros' life? Those questions can only be answered by Eros, whose face is hung low, like he's ashamed of what happened, like he's guilty or something. Well, he should be. He is toying with my feelings and all. How dare he! The woman was all over him. There's no denying that Eros loved it. I want to punch him hard square in the face, but I know I can't do that.

"For what?" I spat out. It's not like we're lovers or something, aren't we?

I mean, I know I have a 'thing' for him, which I consider not good for me, since he's a guy and I'm guy and we all know it's not going to work. I guess I'm still a kid, and he acts like a kid, so that's why we're caught up in this mess.

"The one you saw back there in the living room," he reasons, almost panicking and shaking as he looks at me with worried eyes, "it's not what it looks like," that's so cliche. "She kissed me as you went inside the living room."

"Who is that girl anyway?" I snap at him. The only thing I want to do right now is rip off the girl's head and feed it to the deadly piranhas like in the Piranhas 3D movie. Obviously, jealousy is coursing through my body, making my nostrils flare as I remember the girl kissing my Eros. My fucking Eros. "And why is she here? Did you let her in? Would you love to fuck her?" I grit my teeth. He grits his teeth, too.

And it looks like the volcano is about to erupt as Eros gives me a glare. I don't mind if we're in front of the toilet, having a heated argument.

"That girl is my ex-girlfriend who happened to be Brad's fucking mother," he says angrily to me and my eyes widen. Now that he mentioned it, I did see something of her features that resemble Brad. Her eyes resemble Brad's. Her lips resemble Brad's. She's like, somehow, the older, female version of Brad.

But still, it's too much to handle. This information is a big bomb to me, having it to be dropped in front of me and it exploded, and it hurts. What if she takes Brad away? What if she does something bad to Brad or to Eros? What if... what if... what if she decided to take Eros and Brad away from me? Is it possible to happen? The possible things that could happen are running in my mind, replaying and replaying all over again until I get dizzy. Eros puts a hand on my shoulder and presses it lightly. I think he's giving me a massage or something because the tension has been going out of my body by the slight movements of his fingers caressing my shoulder. But even if his fingers are touching my skin, I can't take my mind off of the girl. What if the questions running inside my head would happen? Inevitable?

Would Eros choose me over her?

Would Eros choose family over me?

Am I part of his family?

As if reading my mind, Eros says, "You're part of my life, Mike. I don't want to lose you. Or Brad."

Then I find myself launching at him, capturing his lips rather wildly. I hear him laugh, which is a good sound in my ears, and I smile whilst our lips are connected. We kiss intense and hard. Probably our lips are swollen now from the kiss, but we just keep going until we're trying to get some air by disconnecting our lips, and, after seconds of gathering the air, we kiss again.

"I'll you the details later, okay?" Eros says to me as he cups my face and stares deeply into my eyes, as if he's telling me to believe him. I do believe him, so I nod. He gives me a peck on the lips and stands up. "Right now, we have to deal with Tiffany. She's Brad's mother. I have decided that I should introduce her to him. I swore that Brad would never ever meet her real mother. But I don't want to be selfish. Brad needs to know who is his mother. He has the right." I nod, agreeing to his statements. I mean, if I were Brad, I'd ask him who is my mother. Why did they broke up. Why did my mother leave me. Questions like that. Questions are the starter, and when Brad grows older, he'd find his mother sooner or later. So probably now is the best time. But that doesn't mean I like her. I still want to behead her and feed it to piranhas.

Eros and I get down only to see Tiffany crouching down on her knees and talking to Brad, whose eyes are twinkling. Tiffany the Bitch must have told him already. Eros sighs and Brad looks up at him.

"Dad, is that true? That she is my real mother?" Brad asks as he gazes up on his father, waiting for an answer. Eros nods slowly and rubs his neck awkwardly. Way to go, Eros. "Then what about Mel?" My whole body freezes when she mentions my mum and I have a bad feeling about everything. It doesn't seem right. There's suddenly a tension in the air, and it gets thicker and thicker as the tick and tock of the clock passes by. No one speaks. Brad is looking up at his father while Eros is looking at me and the bitch is looking back to me and Eros.

"Um," Eros seems like he doesn't know how to answer it. Then Brad says the one thing that makes me see red.

"My real mom told me that we're going to be a family now." Brad states.

Eros freezes and gives Tiffany a cold glare. My feet are glued to the ground and there's a loud pumping in my heart, not from adrenaline, but from the pain. They are going to be a family. A complete family with a mother, father, and son. I am a nobody.

Eros is not the one in my letters. He could not be. I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I want to release them, to beg on my knees and pray that Eros would choose me over them. Selfish. But it's probably the best thing that will ever happen. Eros and I are both guys. There is no point continuing this relationship. We were just in a phase. And I'm done with that phase.

I actually like Eros. But it seems it's much more than like. I don't know how to express it, or define it. It's beyond like. It's beyond words. Words can't describe what I feel for Eros. How strong it is. And I want to beat the shit out of myself for getting in a drama like this. I should have pushed him away when I had the chance. Now, I'm too attached with Eros and I don't know how to take off myself from being a leach to him. Tiffany stands up and hugs Eros and gives him a full kiss on the lips. And Eros lets her. A pang of jealousy hits me but I can't do anything about it. Eros tries to push her away but she doesn't let go. I take a step back, not wanting to be near at him. He's looking at me with a sad expression and it fucking hurts to see that he can't do anything. When I turn around, someone enters the living room and my feet stop from walking.

The one who entered the house is Mel. My mum. We are so fucking screwed. She looks at Tiffany with disdain but the look in her eyes tells me that she's disgusted by Tiffany. Not jealous, though. Mum looks at me and frowns, like the best mother she is. And now, the big moment starts. They all start to argue and I just do what a coward does: Runaway. So I run and never look back as I bolt out of the house, get inside my car, and drive off. I look back at the seat and find there are still Skittles on the seat. I realize tears are pouring down on my cheek and I brush them away. It hurts. We are all in this mess. We are messed up. It's hard to be in a situation like this. I never intended to be part of this. I never expected to. All I know is one day, I hated Eros. Second, I like him. I don't understand myself at all.

I park to my favorite spot, which is an abandoned water park. This is where I go to relax myself, to let go of things. Tears are still streaming down my cheeks and I want nothing but to slap myself. I'm hurting myself. Eros is hurting me. And it's so goddamn painful.

This is the first time I have cried in public, but then this place is private, but still public. So this is a first. I never thought I'd cry over a guy just because he couldn't have the balls to do anything he's supposed to do. I wipe my tears-strained cheeks with the hem of my shirt and sniffs loudly. I let out a breath. I feel tired and exhausted.

Something buzzes in my pocket, indicating that there's a text message. So I fish it out of my pocket, hoping it would be from my friends'. Or more likely hoping the text was from Eros. But when I check the text, neither. It's an unknown number. Unknown sender. I open the text message and my eyes nearly pop out of its socket. On the text, it says:

Where's your gay cop lover, you fag?