Chasing Red: Chapter 16

“So, Kara,” Theo started, “what’s your story?”

Beth rolled her eyes again and let out an exasperated sigh. “He’s always like this. Watch out. Theo could fish out a priest’s secrets. Before you know it, you’ll find yourself telling Theo all your dirtiest deeds.” She smirked.

“Is that true?” Kara asked, her voice flirty.

I was glad that Kara was having fun, or else she was trying hard not to be sad. Beside me, Beth squirmed in her seat. She seemed itchy, like she wanted to pounce between Theo and Kara to separate them. I bit back a laugh. The girl was nuts about Theo. That, or she was overly protective of him.

Were they siblings? It didn’t seem like it when I computed the way she looked at him. She looked at him like…Caleb looked at me.

I sighed. Caleb thoughts weren’t allowed tonight. I tuned out for a moment until I heard Beth’s annoyed voice cut in.

“So you’re using Theo as a rebound because you broke up with your ex?” Beth demanded all of a sudden. Her hand went to Theo’s shoulder protectively.

“Beth,” Theo warned.

Kara chuckled. “Relax. Theo is a nice guy, and I only fall for the bad guys. He’s all yours, girl.”

Theo groaned at the same time Beth said, “Good.” Then she added, “I’m not always a bitch. I sleep sometimes too, you know. Like a normal human being.”

The tension disappeared. Kara and I laughed, and Theo snorted.

“Theo’s a softie. People take advantage of him all the time because he’s such a nice guy. He needs me to protect him.”

“I’d like to think I’m the one protecting you, since I’m older.” He flashed her a grin.

“Look,” Beth said, flicking Theo’s ear. “Tell me I’m right or tell me you’re wrong, Theo. Take your pick.”

Kara and I kept quiet, enjoying their banter for a while. They were like an old married couple.

Theo parked in front of the liquor store and asked us to stay in the car and wait for him.

“See how he can make you do things for him?” Beth ranted. “I mean, what kind of girl in this day and age would just accept a guy ordering her around like that? It’s a talent, I’m telling you! He’s so irritating.” Her face mirrored her displeasure, but her eyes told a different story as they followed Theo’s form until he disappeared inside the store.

Kara and I shared a knowing look. Beth scooted between the front seats so she could switch the radio station. She settled on indie rock before sitting back in her seat.

“I think it’s because he’s a very nice guy,” I offered. “He doesn’t tell you what to do; he asks in his own sweet way. I like your Theo.”

Beth shifted in her seat, smiling. She seemed satisfied when I said your Theo.

“So, Kar.” Beth started. When Kara didn’t answer, Beth called her again. Finally, Beth reached forward and tapped Kara on the shoulder.

“Yeah? Sorry.” Kara sighed, raking her fingers through her hair. She sounded tired.

Beth whistled. “You got it bad for the ex, girl.”

She scooted closer to Kara. Now that she was sure Kara wasn’t moving in on Theo, Beth was warming up to her. “If he doesn’t give a fuck about you, why do you still love him?”

Kara looked at her seriously. “Would you keep loving Theo if he didn’t feel the same way about you?”

Before Beth could say anything else, Theo came back, smiling and holding beer. A lot of beer. Beth scooted between the front seats again. She pulled the keys from the ignition, rolled down the window, and passed them to Theo’s outstretched hand. He walked back to open the trunk and put the beer in, then got in and started the car. They seemed to have a routine. It was so cute to watch.

We were a block away from the liquor store when the car shuddered to a stop.

Theo groaned. “Man,” he moaned, resting his head on the steering wheel. “I’m so sorry.”

“I told you to sell this piece of shite, Tee. What is it this time?”

“It’s just the battery. I need a boost.”

“My dad owns a car repair shop,” Kara offered. “You can bring it in, and I’ll give you a discount.”

Theo looked at her gratefully. His smile was embarrassed.

Beth tossed a set of keys to Theo. “Grab my car so you can give it a boost.” She turned toward us to explain. “I live just a couple blocks away. He can run it. Go, Tee.”

Theo stepped out of the car and hesitated before closing the door. “I don’t want to leave you girls alone here. It’s late.”

“This is not the time for that caveman crap, Theo,” Beth chided. “I’m hungry, and I have to pee. Go!” She made a shooing motion with her hand.

Theo looked worriedly at us, and I gave him a smile so he knew I was okay with it.

“Lock your doors, and keep your phones with you. Dial 911—”

Beth reached for the handle and closed the car door in his face. Theo just shook his head, waved, and left.

“He is such an old-fashioned nerd.” Beth huffed. “He thinks guys should take care of everything. It’s stupid.”

“I think it’s sweet,” I said, smiling at her.

She pouted. The car was parked under a streetlamp, and its light created a halo around Beth. With her blue hair, she looked supernatural, like a sea fairy.

“You’re so in love with him,” Kara commented, turning to stare at her.

“What?”

“You heard me. Does he know?”

Beth was silent for a moment before she answered. “No. Yes. I don’t know.”

I could tell she was debating whether she should trust us or not. I guessed she’d decided to trust us, since after a minute she said, “He’s pretty dense, and I don’t want to tell him. It’s going to…ruin what we have, you know?”

She cracked her knuckles and turned to Kara. “So what happened to you and your ex?”

I glanced at Kara, worried. She looked pale and subdued.

“I was going to wait until Ver and I were alone, but I think we can welcome an ugly face like you into our little group. What do you think, Ver?”

I chuckled. “Sure. One with pretty blue hair, preferably.”

Beth beamed at me, then suggested, “Well, if we’re listening to this drama queen here, let’s go outside for some fresh air. Sit on the hood and drink beer? No one is around.”

We all agreed. We lounged on the hood of Theo’s car, Kara and I flanking Beth. They were drinking beer, but I declined. I didn’t want to get drunk when Kara needed me sober.

“So, what’s up?” Beth started.

Kara pulled her long legs to her chest, wrapping her arms around them and resting her forehead on her knees. “Ver brought me to watch her boyfriend’s basketball practice today—”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“—and my ex was there. I wasn’t feeling well so I left. Cameron saw me and eventually found me. He brought me to his place.” She shrugged. “Nothing happened. End of story.”

Beth nudged Kara and told her to stretch out her legs. She settled her head on my lap and draped her feet over Kara’s legs. I couldn’t help but smile at the way Beth fit with us, how at ease she was with us. “Come on. You gotta give me more than that.”

“There was no closure between us when we broke up,” Kara said. “We were happy, and then one day he just…changed.”

When Kara didn’t continue, I glanced at her. Tears were flowing down her cheeks, but she wasn’t blinking. I wondered if she was even aware she was crying.

“Kar?”

“I gave so much to that boy. I can’t possibly give anything anymore. That’s what I thought before he brought me back to his place, you know? That I was done. There was nothing more I could give before I went mental,” she sobbed, taking a long drink from her beer.

“But when I was there, I realized that I could still give him more of me. If that’s what he needed to come back to me. I’m such a pathetic loser.”

“No, Kar,” I said.

She shook her head. “I just need you to listen for now, okay?” she said, looking at me and Beth.

Beth and I nodded, helpless.

“Today at basketball practice, I knew he was going to be there. I knew it, but I still went because…because I’m a hypocrite. I say I don’t want to see him, but I’m lying. Because I still…I still love him. I know he still loves me, and I don’t understand what’s stopping him from being with me. I feel like he’s putting a barrier between us, and I can’t fucking climb over it.”

I understood what she was saying. I had placed barriers between me and Caleb, but I was scared he was finding ways to climb over them. I shook my head. Why was I thinking of Caleb? This was Kar’s night.

“You know there are different kinds of kisses from Cameron.” She sighed deeply. “His public kisses are just small nips here and there. There are the possessive kisses where he uses a little tongue. And then there’s the kiss where you know he won’t stop until you get what you both want, you know? And that’s normally when we end up in bed. All those times when he gave me the kiss, never once did he not make love to me. Never. But tonight, he stopped.” She started crying again. “He stopped, Ver, and I don’t fucking know why.” She was sobbing uncontrollably now, gut-wrenching cries that tore my heart.

Beth sat up, sensing that Kara needed me. She gave me space and slid off the car hood so I could scoot over and gather Kar in my arms. She curled herself to me, seeking comfort. Beth rubbed her back.

I had never seen Kara Hawthorne break down like this. She appeared so strong that I hadn’t even thought it possible.

“We don’t need to confess if we murder someone, you know,” Beth said. “I know a lot of good places to hide a dead body. Just saying.”

Kara looked at Beth like she’d sprouted another head, and then we all burst out laughing.

Kara rubbed her cheeks with her hands. “Dammit, I’m pathetic, aren’t I?”

I nodded. “Yes, you are.”

“Jeez—”

I held up a hand to stop her. “Listen. Do you want to know what I think or not?”

She stopped and turned to me. “Of course I do. Hit me.”

“Making someone the center of your universe is not healthy, and I think you’ve done that with Cameron. You’ve lost your friends because you’d rather be with him, and you’ve lost the old you, right?” I gave her a sympathetic look. I knew this because I’d watched it happen with my mom.

“You know when people say ‘You complete me’?” I continued. “I don’t believe in that. How do you complete someone when you’ve lost yourself in loving them? How do you find yourself? You have to learn to be strong without him, so when one of you is weak, you’re not stuck in the same hole of weakness together. That’s what will destroy you. You can’t be weak together.”

I glanced at Kara. Her eyes were closed, and tears ran down her cheeks. I reached for her hand, lending her comfort and strength from my touch.

“Wallowing in the past is not healthy,” I said. “If you were so great together, why aren’t you together now? Maybe you’ll be back together in the future, maybe you won’t. People tend to only remember the good memories, but that’s not right. You have to remember the bad memories too.”

After a few moments, Kara threw herself at me, her arms in a tight bear hug. “I love you, Ver. Thank you.”

“Ah! I love you too, Ver.” Beth threw herself at us. “You’re like the female version of Dr. Phil.”

“Group hug,” Kara mumbled on my shoulder.

“Is your drama having a commercial soon? I need to pee,” Beth moaned.

Right on cue, Theo showed up in a Toyota, waving at us.

“Here comes mine,” Beth whispered.