CH 3.5

“Tite. They don’t behave as lightly as you do. They don’t confess their love in person. It is because His Eminence is the hope of mankind and a priest. That doesn’t mean they gave up on love. They are looking for opportunities by sending letters to interact with His Eminence, exchanging small gifts, and building a human-to-human friendship with him. Tite, it’s not too late. If you do that, this mother will cheer for your love.”

I couldn’t understand my mother. What she said was similar to what my friends I lost said. A letter? Of course they can send it. I sent a lot, too. A gift? Of course they can send it. I also sent numerous of them. Human-to-human friendship? They can try it as many times as they want. Yohan, who can’t give up his mission, may see the stupidity they prefer.

But the timid behavior of the young ladies is to win his love. My actions are never prudent.

Because he already has a crush on me. I didn’t have to do the hard courtship they did. I have a crush on him, and he has a crush on me.

On our first meeting, the moment our eyes met, we fell in love with each other. I knew it the moment I saw his shaking eyes. That person fell for me, too!

How can I describe the happiness and excitement of that time? I still haven’t found the right expression.

“Mother, His Eminence has a crush on me. I don’t need to go through such a tedious procedure. All he has to do is acknowledge his feelings. I’ll wait if it’s troubling because he is in the priesthood.”

“It’s ridiculous that I gave birth to someone like you!”

My mother sprayed me with feet-washed water and left the basement. I cried all day because it hurt more than my father’s slaps and it was harder than the hard days I spent in the basement. As my mother said, I abstained from eating and drinking, and cried. My mother came back to me after I did not touch the porridge for three days.

“Look at you now! Who in the world would love you now!”

“Mother doesn’t know! Yohan’s heart is not swayed by mere outer appearance!“

“What a good talk from someone who’s crazy about a man’s beauty! Now what else do you have besides youth and appearance! Honor? Dignity? Pride? You shoved it all in the mud with your own hands!”

“I don’t love Yohan for his face! We are meant to be! I knew it at first sight!”

“Please, Tite! Wake up! You’re only fourteen years old. You don’t know what love is! That is not love!”

“I know what love is even though I’m only a 14 year old! If this emotion, this feeling is not love, then nothing in the world is love!”

“His Eminence doesn’t love you!”

“He loves me!”

We said the same thing over and over all day. My mother denied me and I denied her back. My mother was so mean. I love my mother, but it’s mean of her to deny the love between me and him. Yohan loves me a hundred times and a thousand times more than I love him, so how can she deny that feeling?

Similar days have been repeated since. It had been a long time since I saw the light. My internal clock got messed up and I couldn’t even tell if porridge came out once a day. I cut the growing nails and toenails by chewing on them with my teeth and pulled straw to withstand the cold. When I was too thirsty, I even took a leak and drank. But what was more painful than those days was my parents who came to me on a regular basis and forced me to deny his feelings.

It was one day a year after I got stuck in the basement. Oh, how did I know it was a year when I didn’t even know the days were passing? Of course, I looked at the calendar after I came out. It’s accurate because I left the basement right after that.

Don’t look at me like that. I told you I’m not crazy

***

“Young Lady Biss, the most beautiful woman in the capital. Young Lady Biss, the kindest in the capital. Trust me. I’m not crazy.”

“Mmmph. Mmph.”

All Reese could do was to cry silently. There was nothing she could do except for praying to God, waiting for when this harsh night would end, and whether the end would be her death or rescue. Tite Rivero put her hand on Reese’s head. Reese convulsed because she was horrified. Tite ignored the trembling Reese and slowly stroked Reese’s long hair.

“Black hair… I like black hair. Young Lady Biss. Yohan has black hair, too.”

“Mmmph. Mmph.”

Tite’s fingers took Reese’s hair and twisted it. Reese’s heart was gradually beating faster because of the slow action. Perhaps she liked her smooth, healthy black hair, Tite took a brush and began to brush Reese’s hair. Reese was surprised as if she was going to faint.

“Hic, hic, mph, mph, mph.”

“Don’t be so afraid. I’ll braid it beautifully for you.”

When the comb poked the scalp, Reese thought of how the witch in the fairy tale killed the princess. Would the method of poisoning by applying poison to the brush and brushing hair work in real life? Wouldn’t that poison be painful if it really was?

Because her long hair got tangled with the rope, Tite had to move her hands softly to avoid damaging her hair. If there was tangled hair, baby hairs, or frizzy hair, it wouldn’t be braided beautifully, so the brushing was carefully done. From Reese’s point of view, all of Tite’s actions were fear.

“I had a younger sister, so I braided her hair often. I’ll braid it beautifully for you.”