Ch.31 Sugarless

Chapter 31

Heyder stood staring at the spot where Maya had just been standing in moments ago. Just moments ago there was light in his universe. There was a strange kind of happiness that even amidst all the chaos and heartache there would be love. But she took it all with her. After all it was all hers to take. Had Heyder ever had anything in his life without her?

Seconds turned into minutes and minutes into hours. The jinn stood still as ice in the freezing hospital room trying to find the moment in his life where everything had gone down hill. Heyder was beginning to believe happiness was never meant for him. It avoided him at all cost. Since the day he was born a dark cloud followed him around, hiding any hint of light. What did happiness feel like? What did the heat of the sun feel like on your skin? He would never know. And any time he thought he was close to tasting the joy, it would be snatched away from him.

"You can stare at the door all you want, but she's not coming back."

The small voice pulled Heyder out of his head. He turned to find Clare sitting on the edge of his bed. Her big gray doe eyes were ever so watchful and intimidating.

"I know," Heyder sighed. He ran a clumsy hand through his hair and then down the back of his neck. "I know she's not coming back."

"She's scared," Clare said looking at the door. "Scared to get her heartbroken, scared to break you, scared of losing control."

"I know the feeling all too well," Heyder looked at the IV incision in his arm before ripping it out.

"Should you be doing that?" Clare eyed him with concern.

"My body can heal itself," Heyder tossed the needle onto the table. He looked up at the girl as he rubbed the sticky tape off his skin. "Why are you here?"

"To make sure we still had a deal."

"Why wouldn't we?"

"Well......" Clare frowned. "Maya just broke up with you."

Heyder gave a dry laugh, "So you thought I would give up looking for the ophiotaurus."

"No Maya, no curse, no bull for Clare," Clare shrugged. "My family can be so difficult sometimes."

"But I have a feeling all that never matters to you," Heyder tilted his head. "You always get what you want."

"And I want everything I can't have," Clare smirked.

"You're not a Dorin," Heyder reminded her. "You're a Radacovick."

"And are we any less?"

"No," Heyder sighed as he took a seat on the bed.

"You like my father, don't you?"

"Whatever gave you that idea?"

"When you thought my mom was Maya, you originally gave her up to be with my dad," Clare said. "You saved their mate bond. You would have never done that if you through my dad couldn't keep your maya happy."

Heyder didn't speak. He stared at his hands as he rested his elbows on his knees. He felt Clare's gaze on him from where she sat.

"What changed your mind?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you change your mind and try to break them up?"

"I wanted my girl," Heyder shrugged.

"Ew," Clare gagged. "That's my mother and not your girl."

"Well I know that now," Heyder snapped. "For us it's not like wolves. We don't know instantly who our mates are."

"Yeah, I guess," Clare said slowly. "You also don't always end up with your mates."

"No," Heyder spun the rings on his fingers one by one. "The moon goddess only blessed her children. And said 'to hell with the rest of you'."

"There is a strange beauty in it all, don't you think?" Clare pulled her legs up slowly. Her voice was ever so calm and gentle. "For us, when we do fall in love we know it's not because of some kind of invisible pull. There's a certain trill in looking for love. Meeting someone new and wondering if they could be the one. The fear of messing up is always there. Always on our toes and worried about our soulmates slipping through the cracks. We have hope in us.....and along with fear that never lets us forget to cherish our better half."

Heyder turned his head to look at the young girl. Her eyes were lost in her mind as she rested her chin on her knees. She looked so much like her mother. A more sinister and eerie version of her mother. With large gray eyes that were empty one second and then drowning you the next.

"How old are you?" Heyder asked.

"15," Clare smiled.

"Could have fooled me," Heyder looked away. He took in a deep breath and rubbed his palms down his thighs. Sitting up straight, he nodded his head, "You don't have to worry about the ophiotaurus. Our deal is still on. I'll get it to you."

"Oh I know," Clare moved her legs down to the ground.

"Then why are you here?"

"To give you a boost of motivation," Clare stood up.

"What boost of mo-" Heyder looked up at the girl as she moved in front of him and tapped his forehead. The light touch felt as if he was hit with the winds of a thousand hurricanes. Breathing became impossible as Heyder felt his body fly through space. All around him loud sounds echo in chaos. His empty chest shook as his stomach turned in the violent storms.

Then, like the suddenness of its appearance, the winds stopped. Heyder lunged forward and fell onto the hardwood floor, gasping for air. The hospital room disappeared from around him. The scent of something warm and sugary hit his nose as the laughter of a child entered his mind. With aching limbs, Heyder rose to his feet.

"What the fuck?" He said under his breath as he rubbed his shoulder and rotated it to ease the ache. His eyes looked around the family room littered with toys and coloring pencils. The kitchen in the back was a mess with sugar and flour spilled all over the counter tops.

"Mom!" A little child yelled as they ran down the stairs to the left. Heyder turned to look at the little boy with brownish blond hair. His locks curled at the top of his tiny head and bounced with each hurried step he took. He ran right past Heyder and jumped onto the little bean bag by the coffee table. Heyder turned to watch him grab a marker and get to work on the coloring page in front of him.

"Mom!" The boy called again. "The timer went off hours ago!"

"No, it did not!" Maya's voice suddenly spoke up from behind Heyder. He was left stunned as he whirled around to face her. She came in from the hall wearing a navy apron that was covered in flour.

"The whole house would be up in flames if that was the case," she said as she moved into the kitchen and put on her oven mitts.

"Dad would not be happy," the little boy mumbled as he continued to color.

Heyder's eyes moved from Maya to the child. Their resemblance was uncanny. The nose, the lips, the stubborn eyes. Heyder felt a little part of him die inside his chest. Maya had moved on.....

He was sure of it. There was no way the ring around her finger was his. Heyder never wanted to get married. The only time he had come close to committing the act was when he had met Fiza. But having her die the day of their wedding in her wedding dress had left him scared beyond repair. He would never be able to go through with it again. Marriage, kids, family.....it wasn't for him.

As he stumbled back and watched Maya take a cake out of the oven, Heyder wanted to scream in frustration. The happiness in her eyes as her son came up to her and climbed onto the little stool was unimaginable. Never in his life had he felt so broken. He hated himself for not being able to want the life in front of him.

The only thing keeping Heyder from losing his mind was the smile of Maya's face. She was happy......Without him.

It killed him to know that. But he loved her too much to hate the idea. How could he hold her back and deprive her of all this happiness? He could never give her this.

"Is it done?" the little boy asked.

"Yes," Maya poked the cake with a toothpick. "Now we just wait for it to cool."

"Can I decorate it? I already designed it in my head."

"You need to clean your toys first," Maya picked up the boy from the stool and sat him down on the floor. "This house looks like a pigsty."

"I think it looks fine," the little boy shrugged, looking over his shoulder. "It has character."

"Go clean, Heyden!" Maya snapped her finger and pointed to the living room. "Your paints are all over the place! If I have to get another rug because you spilled paint, I will take it out of your college funds."

"Then don't get white rugs," Heyden laughed. "I see it and I want to pain it."

"Baby," Maya whined. "Please, just go clean. You're eating my brains."

"I'll do it when Dad gets back," Heyden tried to run off but Maya plucked him up from the ground with her magic and placed him on top of the coffee table.

"Clean. Now," she demanded.

The whole ordeal left a smile on Heyder's face. He found his heart swelling up watching Maya and her son. The little boy was just like her. He watched the kid half-ass through the cleaning process, tossing things under the sofa and putting away boxes of color pencils under the throw pillows. He would look over his shoulder to make sure his mother wasn't watching. Heyder chuckled watching the mischievous little thing.

"Heyden?" Maya called from the kitchen. Both Heyder and the little boy turned to look at her. She stood in front of the cooking book with a deep frown on her face. Her hands rested on the counters as she read the page in front of her.

"Did you add sugar?" she asked her son.

"I thought you added sugar," Heyden said, dropping the sketch pad in his hands. He stepped over the fallen thing and walked back into the kitchen. "Did we just make a sugarless cake?"

"I think we did," Maya shook her head. "Why didn't you remind me?"

"I'm six!" Heyden said in his defense. "I don't know all this! Why didn't you read it properly?"

"Who's going to eat a sugarless cake?"

"Do you think dad has diabetes?"

"No" Maya suddenly laughed. "Your dad loves sugar and sweets."

"Throw it away," Heyden said quickly. "Maybe we still have time to make another one."

Just then, the sound of the front door closing made all three jump. Heyder, who had taken a seat on the island stool, was watching Maya and her son from across the counter. His chin rested in his hand as he held back a smile. He was truly happy for her. Despite the heartache and loneliness in his soul.

"What do we do?" Heyden asked, looking up at his mother.

"Quick! Hide it!" Maya handed him the cake before she cleared her throat, "Babe! We're in here!"

Heyden took the small cake and threw it into the fridge. He ran into the living room like a race car and jumped onto the sofa. Heyder shook his head as his shoulder shook with laughter.

"What's that smell?"

Suddenly, the smile was wiped clean from Heyder's lips as the familiar voice grew closer. He felt himself sit up and hold his breath as he walked through the archway and into the kitchen.

"Baba!" Heyden yelled as he jumped up from the sofa and lunged at his father.

"What's up, monster?" Heyder caught the little boy and lifted him up.

"Holy fucking shit," Heyder mumbled under his breath as he got up from the stool and stumbled back. He couldn't believe his eyes. He was speechless as Maya walked up to the father and son and pushed up to her toes to kiss her husband.

The air became harder to breath as he stared at the little family. Their mouths moved but Heyder couldn't hear a sound. There was a loud ringing in his ears as the scene in front to him blurred.

With a snap of a finger, everything around him vanished. The family home with it's scent of cakes and Heyden's laughter disappeared as it became replaced by a gory battlefield. Heyder found himself lying on the blood soaked grounds as wolves charged forward with earth shattering howls. Everywhere around him, chaos ensued. Heyder jumped to his feet and looked around. He spotted Owen's wolf leap onto something unearthly. His powerful jaw teared apart the creature as Mavi's dragon flew overhead. Gemma, covered in blood, carried a large sword as she ran past Heyder. Fire erupted from the earth's cracks as thunder and lightning lit up the sky. Figures made of boulders and as tall as skyscrapers stomped through the fields crushing everything in its path. Wolves, witches, merman, pixies, vampires.

Heyder didn't understand what was happening. He looked around and spotted Maya standing a few feet behind him. There was a large gash on her forehead and the right side of her jaw was starting to bruise. With every cell in his body, Heyder wanted to heal her. He ran forward and reached out with his hand. But before his fingers could touch her the whistle of an arrow flying through the wind zoomed past Heyder's ear. He watched in horror as the golden arrow pierced through Maya's chest and made itself at home in her heart.

"No!" Heyder screamed as he tried to move forward.

Maya looked up and parted her lips. Dark blood rolled out of her mouth as she began to gag.

"Maya!" Heyder screamed once more. He pushed with all his might and found his body jump forward. But instead of arriving at Maya, Heyder fell onto the hospital bed. He jumped up instantly as his head began to spin.

"My visions are not always solid," Clare said from where she sat on the small armchair in the room. "They're always changing."

"What the fuck was that?" Heyder growled.

"Something is going to happen," Clare said looking up to meet his eyes. "I don't know when or how it will start. But I need the ophiotaurus."

Heyder felt his bones chill. His mind was a mess of emotions. The girl in front of him waited patiently as she watched the fear and heartache hide in his eyes.

"What about Heyden?" Heyder asked. "And Maya.....all that....."

"I needed to show you what was at risk," Clare said slowly.

"But you said your visions are not always solid. How do I know my future hasn't already changed?"

"Maybe it did," Clare shrugged. "Maybe it didn't."

"What are you saying?" Heyder said through his teeth as he took a step forward.

Clare's eyes snapped up. Her gaze darkened and warned the jinn not to raise his temper with her.

"I showed you the future you can have with Maya," she said. "It's up to you to pursue it."

"And the battles?"

Clare looked away.

"What about the war, Clare?" Heyder pushed.

"Que sera, sera...."

_________________________

Clare had left Heyder in a state of uncertainty. The billions of emotions in his mind drove him wild as he paced the hospital room. He couldn't get enough of how Heyden's laugh sounded in his mind. Without wasting a second, Heyder summoned his sketch pad from where it was in his room. He grabbed the pencil and began to sketch away the face of the little boy.

Heyder's hand moved faster than ever before. He sat in his chair sketching for hours as he captured every short memory he had of the vision Clare had just shown him. His fingers began to ache from how hard he gripped then pencil. But he couldn't stop. He needed to pour out the images in his mind onto the pages.

"You haven't even noticed I'm in the room,' Ali said from where he stood by the door watching his friend work in the darkness. Only the bedside lamp beside Heyder was lit up as the man curled up in the armchair, his eyes and hands glued to the paper.

"I noticed," Heyder said, not stopping.

"What are you working on?" Ali pushed away from the door and walked into the room. He switched on the light on his way in, making Heyder flinch from the sudden brightness. "I saw Fiza on my way in."

"Fiza's here?" Heyder asked in confusion. He grabbed the hem of his shirt and rubbed the pencil marks on the paper to smudge them. His fingers were dark from all the graphite he had wasted through.

"Um....yes," Ali said. "She was in your room for over an hour. Said you weren't talking to her."

"I didn't know she was here," Heyder said. A small part of his brain recalled someone moving around in the room but he had assumed it was one of the nurses or Rye.

"What are you working on?" Ali asked once again. "You look like a mad man."

Heyder ignored him. He fixed up the shadows around Heyden's face and felt a smile curled up on his lips. With satisfaction he held up his sketch pad.

"Who is that?" Ali asked.

"My son," Heyder smiled proudly.

"Oh.....that's nice......"

"He has my eyes, you see it?"

"How hard did you hit your head, Heyder?" Ali asked with concern. "Maybe I should call Dr. Alden."

"Ali," Heyder said with a sigh. "I'm being serious. I didn't hit my head. I had....a vision. This is my son. His name is Heyden."

Ali stared at his friend for a long time. He observed all the stains on his shirt and fingers. The man's hair was a mess and his eyes were restless. With a long deep breath, Ali turned to look back at the picture.

"Your son looks like Maya," he said.

"Yeah," Heyder gave a short laugh. "I would hope so."

"Oh shit!" Ali's mind clicked. "You and Maya.....that's your son!"

"Yeah," Heyder laughed again. "Can you believe this? He's a riot."

"Wait, wait, wait," Ali held up his hand. "You hate kids. And how is this possible? What about the curse?"

"I don't know, man," Heyder turned the sketch pad to look at the picture of his son. "But I want this now. I want a wife and a family and kids."

"It doesn't take much to convince you, does it?" Ali snorted.

"Not when it comes to Maya," Heyder smiled. "You should have seen the look in her eyes. She was so happy. With me. She was happy with me."

"Well yeah, the girl is head over heels in love with you for some reason."

Ali's words were like a bucket of ice water. Heyder felt the haze of Clare's magic vanish off of him as reality set in. His smile dropped as he lowered the sketch pad.

"What is it?" Ali asked.

Heyder took in a deep breath that rattled his empty chest, "She doesn't love me."

"What?" Ali frowned in confusion.

"She came to tell me she was not in love with me......she wants us to go our separate ways."

"Are you going to listen?"

Heyder looked up at his friend, "All my roads lead back to her."

"So what does all this mean?"

"Just because she's not in love with me now doesn't mean she will never be in love with me," Heyder rubbed his finger under his bottom lip.

"Heyder....."

"I'm already in love with her," the jinn sighed. "Now, I have to make her fall in love with me."

What are you thinking? Any theories?