𝟎𝟎𝟏. 𝖺 𝗀𝗂𝗋𝗅 𝗂𝗇 𝖺 𝖻𝖺𝗋

𝟎𝟎𝟏. 𝖺 𝗀𝗂𝗋𝗅 𝗂𝗇 𝖺 𝖻𝖺𝗋

💌 𝖿𝗋𝗆 𝗌𝗒𝖽 𝗉𝗈𝗏

my cheeks felt stuck and my throat felt tight as i faked another smile, i was anything but happy right now but that wasn't anybody else problem but mines because i got myself into this situation.

"you're so sexy", brandon giggled to me as he placed an hard grip on my ass and giggled at his friend as he took an swig of his beer.

being with him was so good until it wasn't; now i feel so suffocated like im constantly reaching air even though it roams free.

to him, i was just a prop that satisfied his image, an quarterback, with good grades, perfect family, money and of course an perfect girl.

every friday night i was cooped by his side at this bar; mikes bar. i had grown to hate the things i loved because brandon had also liked them.

why am i still with him?

why do allow myself to be used?

i just want to make my family proud of me even if that means im tearing myself apart in the inside. "im gonna go sit with the guys, you just stay here and look pretty ya hear", Brandon demand placing an sloppy kiss onto my lips.

another fake smile comes upon my face, "okay", i reply the tips of my fingers roaming around the ring of my drink. he looks at me once more before disappearing off the crowd and my smile instantly drops and I can finally breath.

"ouch", an voice say grabbing my attention. I turn my head to face a dirty blonde girl dressed in a white short sleeve button up, black cargo pants and Nike shoes.

"why won't you just tell him?", she looked at me taking an sip of her drink which I knew an dirty Shirley temple from anywhere.

i looked at her confused, "what do you mean?", i ask leaning my elbows against the bar counter and meeting eyes with her.

I would be lying if I didn't say she was absolutely beautiful but the last thing i seemed to be was honest these days. "can i sit?", she pointed to the empty seat beside me and I nodded in response.

there was a silence but i was itching for her to answer my question. "what do you mean?", i ask once more. she looked at me almost as if she pity me and there's nothing  i hated more than pity.

"that you don't like your little boyfriend, tell me what type of deal did you make with him?", she answered bluntly and I rolled my eyes. "there's no deal", i said and she giggled. "so it's true you don't like him", she raised her eyebrows.

"you don't even know me", I spat standing up from my chair and throwing my purse onto my shoulders. "sorry sorry sorry", she said letting series of apologies.  she nodded head, "you're right, my name is Paige", she held her hand out. i stare at it for a couple seconds before sighing in defeat and shaking her hand. "and yours?", she ask. "s-sydney", i reply biting the inside of my cheeks

an wave of embarrassment crashes over me, if an stranger could tell by the look on my face i despised brandon then anyone could. "I love him", i lie sitting back down in my seat avoiding eye contact and looking at my empty glass. "he's a great guy", i lie again still staring at my glass.

"if you say you love him then you do and if you say he's a great guy then he is, you don't have to convince me anything", she spoke as if she could see right through me. "im just a stranger, who don't know how to mind they business", she shrugged

there was another silence and i should've just said okay and walked away but for some reason I couldn't because I slightly yearned for presence.

"so", she trailed breaking the silence and looking back at me. "want to sneak a booth and see who can drink the most dirty Shirley's", she asked pointing to my drink and then hers which were both empty.

i looked at her for bit and nodded, "yeah but you're buying", i say and she smiles. "darn seems like im only gonna be able to do one drink", she joked which makes me laugh a little but it was barely audible.

💌

i didn't even know what time it was or where brandon was either because i was too focused on me and Paige.

i had only met her about 3 hours ago and ive felt more alive than i did since i got with brandon which is sad but true.

"okay my turn", she said taking an small sip out of her 3rd Shirley temple. "if you could describe yourself in three words what would they be?", she asked.

an sigh escape my lips as i lean my head on the cold black booth and stare up at the ceiling. i can feel her eyes on me so i lift my head back up and meet eyes with her and lie "I don't know, I haven't really thought about that", the lie roams the air.

she hums, "that was an easy question", she says and I stay silent. "confident, optimistic and strong", she answers with a smile. "for me at least, that's what I like to think I am and if not I'll work towards it", she nods.

"and by strong I mean physically and mentally", she says lifting her up arm and flexing which makes me laugh. "point proven", I laugh a bit more before my laugh dies down.

now it only felt right to answer the question, "this is an safe space and judgment free", she says meeting eyes with me i look away with an sigh and bit my lip a bit as i think.

"uh, sensitive, pity full and defensive", i looked down playing with the napkin that i had suddenly grew interest in. "Why", she asked titling her head as she looks at me.

"why what?", i fold the napkin into a heart. "why do you describe yourself so negatively?", she trails pushing away her empty drink away.

i shrugged, "because it's true", i mumbled underneath her breath and she sighs. "no it's not". i shoot my head up from my napkin and up to her.

"i think you're witty; clever and humorous, ambitious; strong desire for success, selfless; putting others before you and absolutely beautiful", Paige said.

"that was four", i let an smile which she smiles back. "well I couldn't leave out the fact that you are beautiful sydney", as she tells me she's beautiful i see the light in her eyes.

i pull my eyes away from hers hiding my blush as i let out an soft hum, "you do know that you're beautiful sydney?", she says and I turn my attention back to her.

"Y-", before I could even reply a loud obnoxious voice came towards us. "babe I was looking for you everywhere, what happened to sitting at the bar and looking pretty huh... who is this chick?", Brandon points at Paige clearly drunk out of his mind.

I quickly grab my things before it started to get out of hand, "no one", I reply meeting eyes with Paige and I see the slight pain in her eyes. "Let's just go baby", I say grabbing Brandon arm and leaving Paige alone in the booth.

"I hope you're not hard to find as hard you are to please sydney ", was the last thing I heard because walking off letting me wonder the thought.

💌

𝖾𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝖿 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝟢𝟣，

𝖺 𝗀𝗂𝗋𝗅 𝗂𝗇 𝖺 𝖻𝖺𝗋