Chapter 32

“Wow. Are you sure, Emma? It’s really fast!” Sarah remarks, sitting opposite me on the couch, her eyes wide in disbelief.

“I know, it’s just…he’s right, though. We’re working side by side, spending so much time on business, flying places, and sharing rooms…we dove straight into a committed relationship and missed out on dating and going slow. It’s what he wants, and as much as it scares me, I want it too. It just feels like this is how it should be,” I answer a little stiltedly. I’d rehearsed this on the drive over; she watches me for a long time, sipping her coffee and thinking.

“But? Come on. I can hear the hesitation.” She raises an eyebrow at me. I sigh and sink back on the cushions.

“But a part of me is terrified,” I admit. “A part of me is running for the hills screaming right now. I don’t even know why; I can’t begin to analyze it.” I put my coffee mug on the table and slide off my stilettos, letting them drop to the floor as I tuck my legs under me.

“No wonder. You spent your entire life being self-reliant, your own boss, keeping people at arm’s length, so they didn’t hurt you. He’s asking you just to throw that all in and put all your trust and hopes into your relationship after, like, a week. That’s crazy,” she says, waving her hand to emphasize the point.

“Except we’ve been in love for so much longer; I can see why this isn’t fast for him. He’s that kind of impulsive person. He wants, so he takes; he’s always had things his way,” I sigh and haul a cushion onto my lap, picking at the fringe in agitation.

“I think that’s just a male trait, to be fair,” Sarah puts her mug down and mirrors my pose with her legs underneath her. She’s dressed in chef whites, ready for her afternoon shift. “So, what are you going to tell him? What are you going to do?”

“I don’t want to hurt him. He’s always been right in the past when I’ve been scared to follow. Maybe this once, I should trust that he knows best.” I rub my cheeks with my palms, frustrated at myself for feeling so torn about something that should be so simple.

“I don’t want to get another roommate,” she pouts. “What about, you move in with him, but we leave your room available for you? Like, you can leave stuff here that you wouldn’t want to take, and maybe have it ready for staying over sometimes?” she asks hopefully, her eyes almost pleading. I know her too well; she’s offering me a way out of making a final decision, and she’s offering me a backup plan. She’s that girl who always helps me figure things out, that girl I love.

“I guess that could work,” I say slowly. “It’s not like Jake will expect me to pay for anything, so I can still contribute here like I’ve always done.” I shrug, annoyed at myself for adopting his mannerisms. “So technically, I’ll have moved out, but I’ll still have the option of coming back? Maybe I could spend the odd night here to catch up.” I smile, warmed by her enthusiastic nod.

I like this plan. It gives me a third option: not living solely with him or her but choosing to stay with him unless I need an out.

I’ll have this safety net should he decide the full-on committed relationship with someone so emotionally messed up isn’t so great after all. That thought makes my stomach sink with a lurch.

“Okay, sorted!” Sarah says. “So, enough about that; I only have an hour before I have to get to work, and I want all the juicy gossip. What’s it like being in love with Jake Carrero? How good is he in bed, really? I want all the dirty, minute details.” She giggles cheekily, and I sigh. I knew this was coming the second she got me alone.

***

I walk out of the elevator a couple of hours later; Jefferson has dropped me back at Carrero House and is taking most of my bags straight to Jake’s apartment. I’m disappointed to see Rosalie’s desk and Jake’s office are empty, and I check my watch. It’s only midafternoon, so I check my iPad on the desk, pull up the schedule, and see Rosalie has added in a meeting. Jake is meeting with the legal team overseeing the Hunter-Carrero ship merger; things must be moving along with the first hotel cruiser.

I sigh and make my way back to Rosalie’s desk to collect some letters and keep myself busy. All the answer machines are on, the office is deathly quiet, and even the other secretaries on this floor seem to have disappeared. I miss him already, and it makes me smile. I’ve only been gone a couple of hours, and already I’m impatient to see him again, to feel his hands on me and kiss me the way he does. I keep telling myself that it’s only been a week, that I shouldn’t be this dependent on him so soon or even at all. I’m falling too far and too deep, yet something inside me tells me to let go, trust him for once, and go with it. See where this goes.

***

Absorbed in an email I’m typing, I hear them finally return; it’s late in the day, and I end up eating lunch alone when hunger made me feel faint.

“You missed an epic meeting,” Jake’s voice smooths over me deliciously. He dumps files on my desk and comes around to haul me out of my seat by the arm. He sits down on my chair, and I squeal as he tugs me back on top of him in a heap across his knee like a child as he leans back casually and swings the chair. I have to hold on for dear life. He grins childishly and lifts his legs, planting his feet on the desk, so I’m tipped closer to him, my face ending up nose-to-nose with him. He raises his eyebrows suggestively and then softly kisses my mouth. “I missed you, sexy.”

“Stop misbehaving.” I laugh while trying to push myself upright. He’s always so inappropriately public. I should give up trying to conceal the things he does from the floor staff; it’s like trying to swim against the tide.

“What did I miss?” I challenge playfully, giving up the fight and instead lying in his embrace, simply happy to be back in his arms while sliding my own around his neck to nuzzle closer.

“My father had a massive tantrum and glared at everyone silently throughout the meeting. Epic in every way.” He grins, obviously amused. “He still hates the fact I put this merger in place. It didn’t help that Daniel’s father was there. If looks could kill… I felt sorry for the poor guy, though.”

“Ouch,” I respond, remembering that Jake told me Carrero had an affair with Daniel’s mother years ago. The two men are still at war over it even now.

“Apart from that, everything is going to plan. They’re moving to start production on the first two ships. It’s a lengthy process, maybe two years or more, before launching our first five-star floating spa and hotel. Better book ourselves a suite now.” He can’t hide his excitement, and I congratulate him with a kiss, but as usual, he takes the opportunity to turn it into a full-on passionate embrace lasting minutes. Finally breaking away, he tilts me back to him so we’re nose-to-nose again.

“So? Are you going to break my heart and tell me you only brought enough clothes for a couple of nights?” he asks seriously, his eyes coming to mine; there’s something almost apprehensive about the look he’s giving me, always disarming me with that lost boy look in those deep green eyes.

“I packed up anything I want…everything I need…to stay with you indefinitely.” I smile softly, grinning as his face breaks into his famous “happy as Larry” smile. “The stuff I would otherwise need to put into storage I left in my room until I decide what to do with it, with the understanding that I pay Sarah rent for it instead…in case you ever kick me out.” I giggle as he pulls me back to his mouth for a celebratory peck on the lips.

“There’s more chance of you leaving me, Bella.” He swings us back in the chair like it’s a rocker, and it creaks miserably under our combined weight. “Want to call it a day and go home with me to celebrate? There’s a huge hot tub with our name on it, and I haven’t seen you naked in seven hours; I’m getting withdrawals.” He pulls his feet off the desk, standing with me in his arms.

“Do you intend to carry me off regardless of my answer?” I laugh.

“Pretty much.” He plants a chaste kiss on the corner of my mouth and puts me on my feet. “I need to grab some files from my desk and my laptop. Get ready to go. Home it is. There are some advantages to being your boss,” he orders with a wink before stalking off to his open doorway with a smile.