Chapter Twenty Five

Stephen

When Benji didn’t answer the front door, I told the guys we should try the back. We knew his bi-fold glass doors would give us a clear view into the house. If he was downstairs, he couldn’t hide from us.

We made our way around the back and, sure enough, there he was. He was slumped in his chair, nursing a bottle of scotch whiskey. I tapped lightly on the door.

He finished his sip quickly and looked up.

I watched as he took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. I couldn’t tell if he was drunk or just seeing things. He put his glasses back on.

Stephen - Hey.

He stumbled over to the door and let us in.

Benji - It’s not safe running around out there. You might get shot.

Stephen - Got a bottle of that for us?

He swung his arm around, the bottle in his hand pointing to the bar.

Benji - You know where it is. Aren’t you supposed to be on a tropical island living the high life?

Clint - Pretty sure we are right where we are supposed to be, mate.

Benji - Mia dropped your kid yet?

Clint - Not yet, mate.

Benji - I wanted to have a kid with Maddie, you know.

Dave - We know, mate. And you should have.

Benji - Yeah. Fuck, hey! A little girl that looked like her mother would have been perfect.

Dave - A friend for Belle to grow up with.

Stephen - And Livy.

Clint - And if the missus would give me my own little princess, but I love my nieces.

Benji - You do know it comes down to that crap you call jizz in your old ball bags there, right?

Stephen - Hahaha.

Clint - Don’t sugar coat it, mate.

Benji - What? We’re all friends, right?

Dave - No, bud, we are family.

He fell back in his chair, throwing the bottle at the wall.

Benji - Why’d she do it, guys? I don’t get it!!! Those bullets were meant for me. Not her. She’s innocent. She’s pure.

Stephen - She did it because she loves you, man.

Benji - Yeah, but what good’s that love if she’s not here with me?

Clint - Because she knows you’re safe. It’s the ultimate sacrifice for love, mate. I would do it for Mia or Willie before even thinking about it.

Stephen - We all would, mate.

Dave - You would have done the same for her.

Benji - With no thought to it. Because she deserves to fucking be here, man.

He broke down sobbing and I looked at the other guys. We were all choking up, trying to hold back tears to be strong for him. We all knew it could have been any one of us on the receiving end of this.

We moved over to him and I pulled him up out of the chair.

Benji - Nah, fuck off, man. Just leave me. Go back to your wife and kids.

Stephen - That’s not gonna happen, mate, until I know you’re okay.

I pulled him into me, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and letting him sob into me. He was a shell of a man, broken, torn in half. His world as he knew it had been ripped from beneath him, and he was unable to stop the whirlwind effect it created.

Benji - I can’t even remember a life before her, mate.

Stephen - I know, mate. It’s how I feel about Trinity.

Benji - I never got to ask her to marry me, to see her pregnant with our child, or being a mother to our child. And she would have been a great mother.

Luke - She would have been the best, mate.

Todd - And you deserved it, Benj, all of it.

Luke - Sorry, tried the front but don’t think you heard us.

Stephen - Good to see you, man.

I hugged Todd and Luke and thanked them for coming.

Stephen - So, are we just going to stand here all night, or should we get some of those bottles and go sit around your poker table and skin up?

Benji - Sort it out, bro. You’re the boss.

We all sat down and Clint and I rolled up for everyone. We just sat around talking mostly, smoking and getting high to help Benj forget his reality right now. But mostly, we were reminiscing. Holding on to the memories. While painful, they were also the things that would get us through.

Our loved ones don’t want us remembering them at their worst, be it a death you knew was coming or it was sudden. They want you to hold on to the love, the character and essence of them, the shared times, the laughter, joys, triumph. And we owe it to them to remember them that way.

Stephen - You remember that time we first invited you guys for dinner and you were adamant it was just still a bit of fun and a good shag?

Clint - Soon changed his mind though when he wanted to hear the daddy story, hahaha.

Dave - I don’t know what’s worse, that or the brain source one.

Benji - Hahaha, you’re all fucked.

Clint - Fuck off, man. I heard you enough in college to know you’re no angel.

Stephen - Holy shit! That’s right, hahahahahaha. What was her name?

Dave - Nina.

Clint - Hahahaha, Nina! That’s right.

Clint - Yes, Nina, you filthy slut, suck it.

Stephen - Hahahahaha, you never did know when to just shut your mouth and enjoy a moment, mate.

Benji - Why are you assholes in my house?

Clint - Because we love you, bro.

Dave - For once, I’m going to agree with Clint.

Stephen - And me.

Benji - I love you guys too.

I poured us all another glass of whiskey and then held mine up.

Stephen - To Maddie.

We all repeated, “To Maddie,” and took a drink for her. We all spent a few moments in quiet before Benj stumbled up.

Benji - Thanks, guys.

Clint - None needed, bro.

Benji - I’m gonna try to sleep. I haven’t in two days.

Stephen - We will sort ourselves out. We know where everything is and the spare rooms, and we’ll be here when you wake up.

Luke - And we will be back around tomorrow.

Todd - Night, mate.

We all sat and shared another joint before we saw Luke and Todd out and thanked them for coming. We locked up for Benj and then each retreated to a spare room so we could call our girls and speak to them.

I would have loved to speak to my kids, but I knew they’d be fast asleep now, so I made a mental note to call them in the morning. I got sorted and then hopped into bed, pulling out my phone to call my wife.

Trinity - (Phone call) Hi.

Stephen - (Phone call) Hi, beautiful.

Trinity - (Phone call) I miss you.

Stephen - (Phone call) I miss you, baby, so much. Hearing him tonight nearly broke my heart.

I took a deep breath, choking back my own emotions.

Stephen - (Phone call) I hope I tell you enough how much I love you.