CHAPTER 54

CHAPTER 54 : Maybe the things we seek are around us

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Safia was laying down on the bed beside her grandmother, while the others were laying in the hallway after spreading the mattress . Everyone was asleep by now , only she was awake with her dadi who was reading duas at night .

"Dadi.." she called out her grandmother who hummed and after completing the tasbeeh, she shifted it under her pillow and stared at Safia .

"Yes?" She asked.

"How was it for you, after grandfather died?" Safia knew it was a sensitive topic , but she wanted to know how to handle her grief right now , she hoped if her grandmother could give her a solution.

"It was difficult for me , but I managed with Allah swt on my side" Her dadi replied , like always her heart filled with gratitude for Allah . She was one of the most devoted person to god , Safia have ever came across .

"But-didn't Allah swt himself snatched grandfather from you? You were left with nothing . You were so alone . How were you able to keep your trust on Allah swt at that time too?" Safia asked , she knew it was a serious question, but she felt as if her questions were left unanswered by Allah .

She didn't knew what wrong she had done , that Fawad was snatched from her life like this. After Fawad left her life , she felt like she was left alone and didn't know how to keep her trust in Allah and his plans at this moment too.

"Safia, Allah swt tests us by giving and taking, He took away the thing dearer to me than my life, but in return, He brought me closer to Himself. At night, I would wake up and seek comfort in prayers, and my Lord granted me peace, and along with that, He also granted me my family " her dadi said with a smile , and continued "If I was never alone, perhaps I wouldn't have understood the happiness of being among people, and neither would I have understood how much love people have for me."

"Did you never felt as if Allah swt has left you alone?" Safia was asking her own doubts , she was feeling like she was left in this sadness . It was a difficult question for her , if Allah has actually left her or not , but it didn't seemed so difficult for her grandmother. Her smile remained.

"No, I was remembering Allah swt.  It's not possible to remember my rabb until he remembers us first . If we ask for forgiveness, it's because Allah wants to forgive us . If we ask for peace , it's because Allah swt wants us to have peace . Allah gives us so many things . He brings us out of so many troubles , but after we get out of them , we forget about our rabb and start to think that it was us who did all the work . But when it's about troubles we start to blame our lord again " her dadi explained.

Safia was silent on these words , she completely forgot about how she got the opportunity to get money for her father's dialysis because of going in deal with Fawad. She gained education and scholarship. She now was saved from the troubles of working everyday in the shop where she was cursed and scolded , yet she was crying about the one thing.

Her dadi turned towards her , "Allah ne humari zindagi rehmaton se bhari hai , par hum insaan humesha apne ghamon mein rehte hain aur Allah se ye puchte hain ki unhone hume diya hi kya hai , par agar halki si mehnat karke aas paas dekhein toh jawab khud hi mein mil jaega" the old lady softly said . She was aware of Safia's dilemma

(God has filled our lives with countless blessings, but we humans always dwell on our sorrows and ask God, 'What have you given us?' But if we make a slight effort and look around, the answer will be found within ourselves.)

Safia just gave a little nod , and just wished that everything gets sorted soon . She was in deep thoughts and stared at her grandmother who was asleep by this time . She sighed and snuggled in her body .

"I pray that even I also get the peace soon and my worries get over" she whispered to herself.

She was even tired of thinking how long will all this keep on going -

And well she wasn't wrong in her worries either . One month passed , and they apparently lived in the same small apartment for around a week . She didn't rent a hotel or a room , so the relatives just get tired of all the mess and go away, but when they didn't, she just rented a bigger apartment , so that her loved ones can sleep with comfort .

It was morning . The air was fresh and held a certain amount of coldness . Winters were about to come soon .

Safia was staring at her grandmother who was sipping the tea slowly while taking with Ismail . Hearing their silly conversations , she passed a smile or two .

"Why are you so quiet ? Say something too Chimpo" Ismail insisted , "It's just..I like hearing you both" she replied.

It wasn't like that earlier , she loved to talk and chirp happily, but now she was silent . It killed Ismail from inside , but he didn't know a better way to get Safia away from that miserable life with cruel people.

"She must be tired to just stay in the house , after all her first semester has also ended and now she's at home for a while" Her khala said coming in the hallway from the other room.

"Is it so?" Her dadi , put some puffed rice in her chai , Safia just shook her head as her eyes fell on Murad eating a stick ice cream . The moments of Fawad and her eating ice cream in the car just passed in front of her eyes .

It was still a very dear memory for her , despite the bitter divorce .

"She will refuse ofcourse! But why don't we just take her outside ! I have heard that a fair is in the town" her phuphi said coming from the side , making Safia turn her head towards her aunts , she was sure that they are upto something new and more wierd this time . The past month had been awefully quite either way.

They just tried to bring the topic here and there , but didn't pushed it much, mainly because of Safia's father resisting the remarriage too.

"Yes Safia , let's go outside " Her mother insisted.

"Ammi, I am not feeling well" She lied , trying to escape going out.

"How will you feel well when you are always at home nowadays? Let's go out and get some fresh air ! Your abbu wanted to go out too . Let's go Safia "her mother tried to convince and cheer her up .

The convincing went on for a while until she break down in a sigh and slouched her shoulders defeatedly.

"Okay , give me few minutes" she got up from the chair and started going towards the other room when her father put a hand on her shoulder.

"Please wear the blue kurti , you look very pretty in it beta" he smiled and his smile was enough to warm up her heart . She gave a little nod and went inside silently.

Her father said she looks pretty in the blue outfit,  then she will make sure to look her best with that outfit today. She disliked making her parents sad because she was sad after the divorce , but she couldn't help it . Now that the season was changing, she thought to change herself a bit too.

She stared at herself after getting ready in the mirror . Her eyes were decorated with kajal , the same eyes which were busy in crying the whole past month . There was a small black bindi on her forehead and her ears were decorated with the infamous metallic jhumkas.

She could see a bit of her past self in this present self .

She opened the door and smiles spreaded upon her mother's , father's , dadi's and Ismail's faces. The old Safia was back with her tote bag and the pleasant smile .

She felt like a celeb coming out of that room as her father quickly started to open his own phone and handed it to Ismail.

"Click a photo with my daughter, she looks so pretty!!" He exclaimed happily and Ismail gave a little nod while holding the phone in his hand .

Her father rushed towards herside and put a hand on her shoulder , "Beta , which is that modern pose you always do?" He asked like an innocent child .

"This one" Safia instantly said feeling herself tear up at all this . She was feeling like her world had torn apart but now she saw that only a part of her heart has left her . Her family was still there . Her dadi was quickly chanting duas to keep her happiness forever, and her mother was wiping the tears with the side of her duppata and Ismail ? The boy who always teased her was smiling widely with his own eyes getting filled with tears seeing her happy.

She just stared at that and her father who was so proud of even at her little step almost made her remember her dadi's words , "Allah ne humari zindagi rehmaton se bhari hai , par hum insaan humesha apne ghamon mein rehte hain aur Allah se ye puchte hain ki unhone hume diya hi kya hai , par agar halki si mehnat krke aas paas dekhein toh jawab khud hi mein mil jaega"

"Maybe with the arrival of this new season, I should become a new version of myself too" she mumbled to herself with hope inside her heart.

"Now that you are ready , and everyone is too, let's go" Her khala interrupted the happy moment with a smile across her face , but the happiness didn't reached her eyes. It was clear that she had a plan in mind , but what exactly? Safia wanted to know.

To be continued.....

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Yess so finally a little spiritual chapter (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠) but yes more incidents are going to happen . And I am finally gonna complete my promise of 5 updates in one day today , In Sha Allah ❤️😩