CHAPTER 20

CHAPTER 20 : Seeking clarity amongst doubt

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"So you really did that ?" Safia asked Seth while laughing as they all sat under the sky . The mosquitos were flying around , but they weren't bothered by those. Ismail was drinking the tea as they sat on the rooftop , and Kalyani was sipping the kullad chai under her ghunghat , while occasionally getting irritated by the cup getting stuck to her bottom lips.

"Yeah, and you should have seen his face , when I called him the human version of headache" Seth laughed while wiping his tears with his fingers.

The discussion was about Seth mocking Khalid publically in a party and how Khalid's anger led him to have a heart attack .

"Like I always knew my tongue was sharp . But this much ? I never knew" Seth chuckled while taking another sip.

"Mind if we join?" A voice said from behind and Fawad looked irritated by Rudhra dragging him here.

Safia's happiness fell down , and this time Fawad could notice this too.

'Is she bothered by me joining them? Or what?' He thought to himself.

"Sure" She dryly said and Rudra came and sat beside Kalyani unknowingly . Kalyani shifted towards Ismail , remembering the crimes of Rudhra and Ismail stared at her .

"Hey , sit this side . Let me sit in the middle so I can make some new friends"Ismail joked and stood up , while making sure that Kalyani scoots on the side. He sat between Rudhra and Kalyani .

"So, how are you doing?" He asked Rudhra who frowned.

"How do you think I am doing?" Rudhra asked back .

"Don't know . If I did , I won't have asked you" Ismail passed a smile . Safia's eyes widened at Ismail talking so casually with Rudhra.

"I am doing fine. I guess" Rudhra just answered in short . But Ismail wasn't letting it go anywhere .

"Well , what's your favourite hobby?" Ismail asked.

"What are you 5 ? Asking questions like that?" Rudhra asked .

"Assume I am a 5 year old . Now answer" Ismail said.

"I love killing people. I am getting bored now and I might kill you if you keep talking" Rudhra warned.

"Are you always this serious ?" Ismail inquired.

"Ismail , don't bother him" Safia quickly told him .

"Yes , Rudhra kills more than he talks" Seth joked , but he wasn't entirely lying .

"Is that true Rudhra ? You are pretty skilled then" Ismail said and stopped pushing the topic further , to not look annoy him .

"Sooo—"Seth tried to a start a new topic , but Safia didn't bothered to start it.

"Did you guys enjoyed the light festival?" Seth asked .

"Light festival ? You went there?" Fawad asked Seth .

"Yeah , me , Safia and Ismail, all were there" Seth smiled and Fawad looked at Safia .

"So Seth was the friend you were talking about?" He asked her , as a feeling of jealously came into his heart . He didn't knew what exactly made him feel offended and sad about Seth's statement.

"Yeah" Safia didn't bothered to explain him much , about how she met Seth there accidentally. She found no reason to do so .

"Great"Fawad poked his tongue on his inner cheek as his jaw clenched.

"We actually met there itself only" Seth smiled and tried to clear up the confusion which it might cause.

Fawad didn't said anything and just gave a firm nod. Seth tried to bring up new topics , which Ismail joined , but Safia remained quiet.  Fawad sighed at this

"I would be going . It's pretty late . Please continue your talk" he said and got up from the ground . He started to walk away ,only to get interrupted.

"Slow down let me join you too" Rudhra told him from behind while getting up and Fawad stood still for a few seconds until Rudhra catched up. They both started walking away , but it wasn't pretty late until the sounds of laughed continued . The most evident voice which Fawad could hear was Safia's laughter.

His heart started to beat in a fast pace as he heard her wonderful voice , but as it was as if a string of sadness was tied around his heart which was making it bleed too , realising that he wasn't the reason behind it .

As they were walking , Fawad looked at Rudhra , "let's go to Delhi tonight itself" . Rudhra just gave a firm nod and they walked towards the car.

~~~

The sun was shining brightly outside and a few rays escaped from the thick curtains . Rudhra was sleeping on the bed , and Fawad was sitting on his chair . A diary was laying on his lap and the pen was balanced between his fingers as he tried to figure out how should he start writing it .

"Dear Diary" he wrote but cut it .

'Way too unprofessional' He thought to himself.

After thinking for a while , he just put the pen on the empty paper and starts to write whatever comes into his mind without bothering to form proper sentence or write it in a perfect grammer.

It's been ages since I felt the urge to jot down my thoughts, but here I am.

Meeting Safia was totally unexpected, and so were the things that happened afterward. I thought maybe there was something special between us, a little bond, you know? But then, I started to wonder if she actually likes me. Maybe she's not that different after all and only enjoys my company when I'm being all professional and sticking to work boundaries.

But then, I see her having a blast with Seth, who hardly makes any sense, and she seems to enjoy every moment with him.

I'm feeling lost in a sea of doubts. Is it because I'm not warm and friendly enough? Or is it just that Seth's got more charm and I seem boring in comparison? It's like that saying goes: nobody picks coal over a diamond.

These thoughts are swirling in my head, leaving me feeling unsure about everything.

All I am wishing for is , the future clarifying this doubt.

He puts the pen down and pinched the bride of his nose , in frustration.

"I should look for some distraction" He mumbled.

Fawad stuck a note on the tv , knowing that when Rudhra will wake up he will open the tv first to rewatch the cricket match of previous day .

"Handle the work for the week and don't try to contact me "

He just sighed and booked a flight ticket to Jodhpur to relax . An old teacher of his stayed there and he was always the person to whom Fawad went whenever he needed advice . And for now , he needed nothing more than an ear to hear to his worries.

~~~

04:30 pm

Jodhpur , Rajasthan

Fawad stood outside the house . It was a small area . He knocked on the door.

"Wait a moment" The voice said and a few steps were accompanied with the sound of the door opening . An old man appeared . He had long beard  which fell till his neck and they were white . He had worn a white kurta with pajamas. A smile formed upon his face as he saw Fawad . The corner of his eyes crinkled making the wrinkles appear more clearly.

"What a pleasant surprise" He said and walked away from the door leaving a good space so that the man can walk in .

"Did I came on the wrong time?" Fawad asked.

"There is no such thing as wrong time . The moment we enter a place , it's already written in our tablets of fate that we will be here by this time. So how can we call something wrong when it's already written?" He smiled and it didn't took Fawad much time to remember why he stopped visiting him in the first place.

He surely gave some wonderful advice , but his words often made no sense to Fawad.

"Erm okay" He said.

"Have a seat. I will be coming with some sharbat " He started walking away towards the kitchen.

Fawad stared at the house , impressed by the beauty . The living room was a symphony of colors and textures, a veritable feast for the senses. Vibrant coloured quilts adorned the low seating arrangements, their intricate patterns telling tales of ancient folklore. Embroidered cushions, soft to the touch, beckoned invitingly, promising comfort and respite.

In the center of the room, a wooden table stood proudly, its surface adorned with delicate carvings of peacocks and elephants.

The man entered with a glass of sharbat with a few ice cubes in it, and passed it to Fawad , who started taking sips of it.

"So what brought you here this time?" The man asked.

Fawad stopped taking the sip and stared at him.

"It's a girl " Fawad said.

"A girl? Intresting" He smiled.

"Professor Burak , she is not just any girl . Since the time she has appeared everything have started to just move in a fast pace . Each day is eventful. I look forward to meet her everyday and want to talk with her forever" Fawad told him . He was tired of just letting in his feelings . Burak just looked at him.

"I see no problems here" Burak told him.

"There is. I thought we had some connection, but then I saw her with Seth. I feel stupid for even thinking I was some sort of special person for her . With time , I have started to actually think she dislikes me" Fawad told him .

"Okay. That's a lot of information. What made you think so?" Burak asked and Fawad started to quote all the incidents in detail.

Burak laughed.

"Firstly change your advisor from Rudhra to someone who actually have knowledge of girls . I don't know her side , but I can feel a lot of miscommunication.

So what I will advise is , go to her , and honestly confess that you have no idea of such stuff and for you the more luxurious an item is , the better it is , but you have realised it's not the same for her . And my child from the next time , whenever you plan something for her , tell her beforehand okay? Maybe she can tell you what she wants. Or even better .

Tell her your plans and then use the words 'or if you have something else in mind , we can do that too' this way she will feel that you are actually giving her choice and not just forcing your thoughts on her" Burak advised.

"But food fest was her idea" Fawad mumbled.

"It was , but it wasn't a private food fest with vips . She must have felt overwhelmed because you two aren't that close that you throw such a stunt for her" Burak told him.

"Why is this so difficult?" Fawad groaned.

"It's because you are making it difficult. Not everyone is a materialistic crow like your father . So forget what he taught you about girls liking or anything. Get to know Safia and then watch some dramas, read some books to get to know what girls actually want" Burak told him. He sometimes felt that Fawad was indeed like a young boy who just needed a good guidance.

"Soo, should I text her?" Fawad was again filled with hopes after hearing his words.

"Ofcourse my boy!" He smiled.

"I will do that at night , she might be at work" Fawad told Professor Burak.

"No , do it after a week. Let her think for a while too.  If you keep coming to her , then she will feel pressed up too . Give her a bit space. You aren't her husband to be with her 24/7" Fawad gave a nod.

The problem was that he had scheduled their wedding 2 months later , and till that time , he wanted to be on normal terms with Safia .

"I believe that's all I can guide you for now , because at night , I have a flight to Nairobi for some conference " professor told him.

"But what if I need some guidance again?" Fawad asked him.

"Then ask for guidance from the one who guides all" Fawad frowned at the professor's words.

"Okay for how much money can I book an appointment?" He inquired.

"It's absolutely free . Here you have it , read it whenever you have time" The professor walked towards the shelf and opened the wooden box with some calligraphy on it .

He caressed it with a smile.

"Read it whenever you get the time" Professor Burak told Fawad while passing him a copy of Qur'an. The book was dark blue in colour and Fawad stared at Burak with a dry laugh.

"You must be joking professor. My dad always told me how this book only makes people weak" He pushed the Qur'an slightly towards the side where professor was.

"Well he won't be saying so if he knew the power of silence , love and devotion. It's upto you now . Do you want to be like him , or better than him?" Professor asked.

To be continued...

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So yeah a character development is going to strikeee sooonnnn~ 💅🏻  but for the meantime just know the confusion is still going to be there or maybe not 🌝