17| Meds

Chapter Seventeen

Alice

I may have paced the room hundreds of times since Alessio hung up the phone. His deep voice, the way he touched me and spoke my name as if it was a poem, was almost taken from me. I almost lost of the most influential people in my life. What was the last thing I said to him this morning?

Did I tell him I loved him? Did I kiss him? Hell, did I hug him? When was the last time we kissed? These questions swirled my mind too many times to count. They say when your significant other dies, you think of these things. But I never thought that I would have to think of such morbid things now. Maybe in seventy years, when we're both in our nineties with our great-grandchildren running around.

But, not now, not when we're not even saying our vows to one another. God, where is he? I need to see him, make sure he's okay.

And Aria, God, she's probably shaken to the core. She's too young to have to go through something like that. Alesio and I have only been in her life for a short time, and shits already fucked to no end.

For most of her life, she had to struggle. She's probably scared shitless right now. God, Aria.

The door opens, and I see them. Alessio in the same suit I picked out for him without the tie, I fixed. Aria is in her jeans and t-shirt that says peace and love. Peace and love? Something I promised her, and now look at the mess she was in. I run a hand through my hair as I take them in-living breathing for me.

There isn't a hair on their body out of place. I wouldn't even know what they went through if I hadn't seen it on the news. "You two," I stutter out. I rush toward them, engulfing them in a tight hug. Aria smells sweet, while Alessio's rich woodsy smell engulfs my nose. I memorize the way they feel in my arms and their rhythmic heartbeat. "I was so worried about you guys."

One of Aria's hands escapes my grasp. She rubs her hand along my back while Alessio's hand goes through my hair, soothing me.

"Alice," Aria grumbles in my grasp. "I know you were worried about us. I completely understand. But, please let me go at least. You're gonna kill me if this hug lasts any longer. I can hardly breathe." Almost immediately, I release the two. Both of their faces are red. I reach for Aria's arm, "what are you doing?" She stammers out.

"Checking for any nicks or cuts that you can't see or feel."

"Can't see or feel?"

"You may be in shock," I add as I check for any nicks or any wounds.

"I'm fine," she assures me.

I don't care what she tells me. I need to see for myself. I spin her, inspecting every inch possible. I'm no medical professional, but I have two sets of eyes that are more than enough to see if she has a wound or injury. If even a tiny part of her is nicked, then we're going straight to the hospital.

This part, the analyzing, is what I'm a pro at. I've done it too many times to count-looking over a person's body, making sure that they are in their top form. I checked Joseph from head to toe for bug bites and sunburns that he didn't know even existed.

"Do I look sufficient to you?" Aria asks, visibly irritated with my entire body inspection.

"Yes," I stare into her eyes.

"How are you mentally?"

She shrugs her shoulders, "okay, I guess. Alessio was there when everything went down, and we drove off before we were in any real danger."

I nod my head and look up at Alessio, then back to Aria. "Aria, honey, you're a bit dirty. How about you go take a bath? I'm ordering pizza, and we're gonna watch a movie together."

She nods her head and heads up the stairs, not before sparing Alessio and me another glance. When she is no longer in eyesight, I kiss Alessio. I kiss him with all my might, giving him the millions of kisses I would have missed out on if he didn't come back to me alive.

Because if he died, then I would have been right behind him, no question about it.

Losing Annabella crushed me, but losing Alessio too? It would have killed me.

Tears coat my face as I pull him closer against my lips. I separate from him. His lips are red, panting for me to kiss him again. "Alessio, I'm so glad you're okay," I clammer out.

"Like Aria said, it was barely anything to be afraid about. I saw the danger, and we left."

"I know that, but when I saw on the news what happened. I- I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to think. I just kept thinking of you and Aria and something happening to you both." He pulls me into a hug. "Like you see stuff on the news, and you go about your day, but when your family, the people you love are in the situation, you just-"

He cuts me off with another kiss, making my knees go weak. "Aria and I are okay. You got that, Alice? We are okay," he reiterates.

I look up at his taller form, inspecting him. I look up at his hair, then his face, turning my attention down his body-nothing. He seems fine, with no gunshot wounds, no dirt in strange places, or even a hint of sweat. He's calm, amused even with my worrying. I'm here about to shit bricks, and he thinks I am cute.

I grasp his suit jacket. "I don't want you to go back to the building for a while, okay? I want you to stay home." I watch as his jaw clenches. He holds my hands and kisses my knuckles.

"Done, I need to leave for a few hours a day to some locations, but other than that, I will stay home and work here."

I nod my head. "And I don't want Aria there for a while," I add, only saying half of the truth. In fact, I don't want either one of them leaving this house ever again after what happened today. But I know that's not plausible.

"That's alright with me." I press my face to his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist so he can never leave my grasp. I need to be close to him. I need him inside of me. "Can I shower with you?" I look up at his taller figure. "To make sure you're really okay? I'll only look."

He raises an eyebrow, then chuckles. He lifts my hand and places a chaste kiss on my ring. "Are you thinking of adding the medicine to your series of things you're knowledgeable on, Mrs. Russo?" I bite my lip at the easiness of him calling me that.

"Take me to the shower," I say in a huff.

~

"So, Alice. How was your week?" Dr. Avery asks me for the millionth time, it seems.

I put my keys inside of my purse, cementing myself in the chair. I'm finally allowed to drive due to the large dosage of meds Alessio makes me take and the month of the psych ward that makes it seem somewhat sane. Sane enough to go to therapy and the occasional store with Aria when she needs something.

"Um...honestly?" I say with a hint of amusement.

"That's all I ask for."

"Shitty, shitty, and jittery. The other day, Alessio and Aria were in the building that got robbed and- God, you're gonna send me back to the ward." She crosses her legs, preparing for what I'm gonna say next. She's not imposed about sending me back. I read over the files when she wasn't in her office. She wanted me there for at least six months, but I got out a lot sooner than she wanted with the help of my mother and Alessio.

"Go on," she commands.

"When I saw the news. I called Alessio a dozen times at least, and I thought the worse. I thought he died, doc and I were ready."

"Ready for what?" She asks.

I swallow the spit and look her straight in the eyes. "To die right alongside him," I blunder out. "Doc, I- I know it's co-dependency galor, and it's not healthy, but fuck! I really felt that way at the moment."

"Alice," she starts. She's gonna ship me off and probably prescribe me with some super pill that's gonna get me so high that I'll think I see unicorns. Damnit, I shouldn't have said anything. I should have lied.

I'm not suicidal. But, can I be considered after my statement? Will she force me to be away from him? I can't handle that. I can not do that. That'll drive me crazy, and the fact that Dr.Avery is asking for it, he'll definitely go with it.

"Alice, stop spiraling," she merely says, snapping me out of my thoughts. I rub the sweat off my neck.

"You could tell?" I laugh.

"Well, all the signs were there. My job is to observe, and you, Alice, are like an open book sometimes. But to calm your nerves. I am not going to send you off to the psych ward after what you told me."

"You're not?" I thought the police would be outside after this session.

"No, what you're feeling is the result of your trauma. Look, Alessio was there for you during your loss. He held you as your cried and made you see that love was possible again after Joseph. He brought back a part of yourself that you didn't believe was still alive and thriving. Your attachment to him is completely valid, Alice."

My eyes widen. "It is? You think?"

"Yes, have you brought this up with Alessio?"

"Sorta...kinda, in a not so serious way. We were in bed, staring out the window, and I asked if he thought I was annoying with all my constant worrying and me sticking to him like glue?"

"And what did he say?"

I laugh at the simple memory. "He said it was cute. He said that the fact that I care about him so much made him love me even more. That I am the first person in a while that he felt like truly gave a damn about him. Can you believe that? He thinks my crazy ass is cute."

"Well, there you have it. He seems to be fine with it, so there's no need to worry."

I run a hand through my hair. "I am crazy? Aren't I?"

"I-I cannot say that. It's unprofessional."

I giggle. "So that's a yes. Cool, very cool."

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