Chapter 45

TAYLOR My heart was racing as I stared over at my sexy as hell mate ; in his leather jacket , fitted shirt , and that pout that’s always set on his sexy face . Goddess , I’d let him d o me all the fucking time . Just the thought was turning me on , but the worry and guilt in his eyes had me on edge .

When the waitress returned , Zack retracted his hands , much to my disappointment . She left us with our drinks and food , closing the door behind her . Soft music was playing in the background , and I honestly could have just pretended w e were on a surprise date if it wasn’t for how apprehensive Zack was acting . “

Zack , what is it ? ” ” When I was eighteen … I kind of got into a sexual relationship with this she – wolf … But when I met you , I wanted to break it off … The thing is .. 11 He ran his hand through his messy hair , his heart thudding .

I knew Zack’s had a few relationships , but I also knew our connection was strong . ” Zack , why are you nervous ? ” ” She was máted , alright ? She had a mate and I still let it happen . ” He said , the guilt on his face tugging at my heart . That didn’t sit right with me , but he was young when it happened .

” Zack , you were eighteen . It’s ok . We make mistakes , I don’t think any less of you . ” ” I’m not done yet . ” He said quietly . I frowned , waiting , watching him fight the conflict of whatever was bothering him . ” Her mate was injured in the battle of Hecate’s Betrayal . She just …

” His pain was so fucking strong that my stomach twisted . What the hell was it ? I get that it was fucked up … it was really fucking messed up … but it was a ” It was Anna , Channing’s Mate . ” His words hit me like a fucking kick in the gut .

My stomach somersaulted , and not in a good way .

The pain I was feeling was so fucking strong . Guilt , anger , sadness , betrayal , anguish …. Of all people why his mate ? Channing … Channing who fucking …. ” Do you want to know how Channing was hurt , Zack ? How he got into the state he’s in , just so his future Delta could screw his mate ?

” I asked hoarsely . Zack looked up at me , his eyes pained . ” Tay- ” ” He saved my life ! If it wasn’t for Channing sacrificing himself , I wouldn’t b e here today . ” I said standing up . He had been right . After hearing this , I couldn’t look at him . ” Tay , I’m fucking sorry . ” He said , those gorgeous hazel eyes of his full of regret . I shook my head , unable to look him in the eye . It was crushing , dammit this hurt .

” Tay ! ” He grabbed my arm when I reached the door , those damn sparks coursing through us both .

Our hearts raced , but I couldn’t do this , not right now . ” Let go of me , Zack . ” I said , shoving him off . Even that hurt . I left the room , just needing some damn space .

” Taylor ! ” The moment I was out of sight and out of that place that had suddenly felt too small , I shifted , not caring that I left behind my phone or anything . I broke into a run , rushing into the woods .

I howled into the darkness , wanting to get rid of that crushing pain in my chest .

It felt like I was suffocating … All I could think of was Channing , the man who had destroyed his life for me , had been betrayed by my mate … I had already felt guilty for that night , but now … I couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down my face .

It hurt so fucking bad . I’m fucking sorry Channing , I should have died that night . You should have let me fucking die . Whimpering I curled up , wanting the pain to go away , but it didn’t … Why didn’t it ?

After a short while , I felt someone pushing through the link .

” Taylor ! Where are you ? Please be ok . ‘ Raven’s voice came through the link . ‘ I’m ok Raven . ‘ I said trying to sound normal . ‘ No babe you’re not . Please tell me . I’m so sorry . ‘ She whispered , and I could tell she was near tears . ‘ Why are you sorry ? ” What had Zack told her and why ?

‘ Please tell me where you are ? ” She pleaded . She was stubborn , and I had no energy to argue , ‘

I’m just outside the pack walls , down by rocky edge near the river . ‘ I said , ‘ Do not tell anyone else where I am or I will run . ‘ I could use someone to talk to , and she knew he was my mate .

‘ I won’t , I’m coming . ‘ She whispered .

All I could think about was Channing’s smile . Despite the fact that he was in a wheelchair , he still tried to remain positive . For a werewolf a life like that … it was fucking awful … I don’t know how much time passed , but i It wasn’t that long before I saw Raven’s dark and light grey wolf come running , her two unique coloured eyes glowing as she dropped a bundle of clothes next to m e and nuzzled my head .

‘ I’m so sorry Taylor , I told Zack to tell you , this is my fault . ‘ She whispered tearfully . ‘ Don’t blame yourself , guess it was better he told me sooner than later . ” I mumbled back . She nudged my wolf , settling down next to me and staring into my eyes .

I could see the guilt she was feeling , but I looked away burying my head in my paws . I heard her shift back , grabbing the oversized hoodie and pulling it on .

She sat next to me , pulling my head into her lap , hugging me tightly . She didn’t ask me anything , and I was grateful . I wondered what happened between her and Zack , what he had told her , but right now I didn’t want to think about him .

All I could think of was the fact that my mate had messed around with my brother’s mate , and it was all my damn fault . After a good while , when the moon was up and it was very quiet , the steady sound of the rushing river was like a blissful song , she spoke .

” Do you want to talk about it ? ” Her fresh floral scent was calming . I could probably stay here for a lot longer , but I did not want anyone like the Alpha coming for my head . Although that didn’t sound bad right now , Channing had risked his life for me , so I wouldn’t do myself harm . ‘ No. ‘ I said quietly . ‘

Let’s go home . “

She stood up and shifted into a wolf before we both trudged back towards the pack grounds . ‘ Zack is worried about you . He does care for you . He feels so guilty , he didn’t want t o hurt you . ‘ ‘ He hurt me the moment he agreed to that relationship .

‘ I said , my voice harsher than it was meant to be . ‘ I know … I know how bad decisions can result in something worse . ‘ She said softly . ‘ Don’t be sorry Raven , I’m glad it’s come out . ‘ We were almost to the packhouse when I stopped . ‘ I have somewhere to go .

” ‘ Where are you going ? ‘ She asked . ‘ I want to visit Channing . ” ‘ Are you going to tell him ? ” She asked worriedly .

‘ I honestly don’t know … ‘ I replied , that crushing guilt was consuming me once more . She looked worried , but after giving me a gentle nuzzle , she headed towards the packhouse entrance . Take care , Taylor , don’t be so hard on yourself . ” Thanks for tonight . ” I simply said before I turned away ….