Chapter 86: Would He Ever Come Back?
I walked through the garden for a few moments, looking around the bigger hedges and bushes, trying t o find Ethan, but I didnât see him anywhere.
It was like he had vanished from my life again.
With a hand over my baby, I walked back home and went inside, closing the door behind me.
It seemed so lonely inside now. Not long ago, Soren and I had been sitting at the table eating dinner, laughing, and having a good conversa tion about our day. Now, the entire house seemed still and quiet.
âWhat was Ethan even doing here?â | asked myself aloud. I had no idea.
He said heâd come there to see me, but why?
How did he even figure out where I was?
I wanted to talk to Ethan again. I wanted to find him and make him sit down and answer a thousand questions.
But that wasnât going to happen.
I lay backward on my bed and stared up at the ceiling, wondering if Iâd ever even see him again. There
was a chance he would just go back home. Perhaps all he wanted was to see me, and now that he had , now that he knew that I was alive, he would just turn around and head right back to Madalynnâs open arms.
Madalynn⦠and her ring.
I decided there was nothing more I could do, so I got ready for bed.
However, In my restless dreams, I kept seeing Ethan again but not being able to speak to him.
When I woke up, I couldnât stop thinking about him.
Seraphine was there to check my vitals, and Lola was tidying up the cottage. We were all friends, but I knew | couldnât talk to them about this. I couldnât risk them finding out the truth about my past.
Thad left that all behind.
Or at least, I thought I had.
âRo?â Seraphine asked as she put her stethoscope back in her midwife bag. âAre you okay? Iâm done c hecking the baby, and you usually ask me a thousand questions. Today youâre just staring off into spac e.â
âOh. Iâm sorry.â I shook my head, smiling at her. âI guess Iâm just distracted this morning.â
âEverything all right?â she asked me, and I knew from the twinkle in her eye that she was prying. âI know you had dinner with Sore n last night.â
I made a face at her.
âWeâre just friends,â I reminded her. I ran a hand over my belly. âEverything is okay with the baby?â
âYes, of course,â she said. âIt really wonât be that long now.â
I didnât know how that made me feel. Was I ready to give birth?
An image of me lying in bed, pushing out my child with Seraphineâs help, came to mind.
The fuzzy form of a man next to me came into view, but I wasnât quite sure who he wasâ
was it Ethan, or Soren?
I imagined that the experience would be very different based on who it was next to me. Soren would be so supportive. Heâd probably manage to make it fun. Ethan, on the other hand⦠would he even be paying attention to me?
âDonât worry, dear,â Seraphine said, sitting down next to me. âI know giving birth is never easy, but youâll be just fine. Iâll be there with you every step of the way. Do you have questions
about how it will go?â
I blinked a few times, trying to get the images out of my mind. âOh, no. I think Iâll be alright.â
âWell, if you have questions, let me know. Your baby is healthy, and youâre young and strong. Iâm sure t his will be a perfectly normal birth where everything will go as planned, and before long, you will have your child with you to cherish and enjoy.â
I smiled at her, and she got up to go finish packing her bag. I knew she had some other patients to see
that day. I had other things to do as well.
Soren had business, and I needed to check the house.
I was also working on a baby blanket that I needed to hurry and finish, or it wouldnât be done in time for the arrival.
When evening fell, I went outside to pick some flowers. At least, that was what I told myself I was doing⦠but honestly, I was looking for him..
I was looking for Ethan.
I chastised myself for even leaving the comfort of my own home. How had he managed to reduce me to this state again? I had come so far, only to be thrust back into this foolishness!
I was like a teenage girl, pining after a boy.
âEthan?â I called a few times, but he didnât answer. Sol cut some flowers and went back inside.
Lola was still there. She smiled at me as I came in. âDo you need a vase, Miss Ro?â
âThat would be wonderful. Thank you,â I told her, still distracted.
Why had he even bothered to come here if he wasnât going to talk to me?
âHere you go,â Lola said, and I thanked her as I took the vase full of water from her.
My eyes were focused out the window as I went to set the vase on a table. It slipped from my hands and shattered all over the floor, spilling water all over my shoes.
âOh, no!â I said as Lola also cried out. âIâm so sorry.â
âItâs okay, Miss Ro. Let me get a broom and mop. Pregnancy can make your grip weaker than normal.â
She hurried off to get the tools she needed to clean up my mess, and I backed away from the glass and water.
When Lola returned, I reached for the broom. âLet me help.â
âNo, no,â she said, waving me off. âYou could hurt yourself. Iâll get it, Miss Ro.â
I didnât want to injure myself, though I felt awful that Iâd created such a mess for her to have to clean up.
I just wasnât thinking straight. I was a danger to myself and others.., as Another night passed, and I still didnât see Ethan.
I spent the next day in the garden, looking for any sign of him while I pretended to prune the trees, but I didnât see any trace. No footprints, no lingering scent, no evidence that heâd come back.
I was beginning to think that perhaps he hadnât actually come to see me at all.
By the third day after heâd shown up in my garden, I had decided I just needed to get on with my life. W hatever it was that had brought Ethan back into my life for those few fleeting moments, heâd gotten it. Now that he had what he wanted, he was gone again.
I sat in the babyâs nursery, sewing the blanket, staring at nothing as Seraphine organized the drawers o f clothing weâd purchased.
âI just love baby clothes,â she said from her spot on the floor. She was humming a lullaby, one I loved to I didnât say anything in response. Her words barely registered.
âYou know, Iâve helped a lot of firstâtime mothers over the years, and it always turns out just fine.â
I looked at her and smiled, but I couldnât bring myself to make even the smallest pleasant remark in resp âOne time, I was tending to a young mother a few years ago, and she was so nervous! She was a couple years younger than you, but not ne I imagined that was Seraphineâs nice way of saying this mother hadnât been through as much as I had. M as I acknowledged I understood.
âThat mama was so scared to give birth, she was practically ready to push before she even acknowledged that she was in labor! Her husband thought she was going to give birth on the living room floor because she wouldnât go to the bedroom!â She laughed at the memory and patted h she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.â.
âThatâs nice,â I said, just trying to be polite.
I wished I could be more in tune with what Seraphine was saying, but I just couldnât focus. I kept thinking about Ethan, wondering why he had to speak to me.
With my mind on other things, the needle slipped, and the point went into my finger.
âOuch!â A few bright spots of blood rolled off. I moved my finger just in time to keep them from falling onto the blanket.
âLet me get you a bandage,â Seraphine said, getting up. âDear, you really are distracted.â âThank you, S With the bandage on, I decided I was done sewing for the time being.
I was also done wondering about Ethan. Even if I spent a thousand years trying to figure out what the m It was like heâd just come back for a little more tortureâ one more knife to my heart.
âMiss Ro,â Lola came back and asked me, âMr. Soren is coming back tomorrow night. Do you need me t I sighed and decided to look forward to that. I spent the day thinking about what I would make him for dinner.
However, after everyone had gone home at night, I went about my normal nighttime routine, and just be at least, that was what I told myself.
The air was chilly for the island, and the night sky was overcast. I stood by the porch for a moment, just staring off into nothing, like I had been for most of the last three days.
I was just about to go inside when I heard rustling in the bushes.
I didnât even dare to say his name. Rather, I walked over and took a closer look, peering between the branches. But there was nothing there.
Frustrated, I turned around to walk inside.
And ran headfirst into a wall, which smelled musky.
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