Dipshit

Friday... what an amazing word Ryan thought to herself as she walked into the school. Her hand was wrapped tightly in Ellie's, yet Ellie was mad at her. Ellie was currently mumbling under her breath as Ryan ignored her.

"Monday was fucking great and in a span of days you begin to go right back to being an asshole." Was the one line Ryan heard. She stopped in her tracks threw her hands up in exasperation.

"You can't be treated like royalty every fucking day Ellie, I don't have the money."

"I don't want your money. All I want is some time with you. You go home and we text, and sure you come over but sitting in the house all day isn't fun. You could at least take me to the park or somewhere free!"

"Well why don't you take me out for once?" Ellie blinked and took a deep breath in.

"Don't act like I haven't tried to." People had began to stare, but the two didn't notice. Seth walked to the two of them as they argued back and forth.

"You two might want to take this somewhere else." Ellie looked around before grabbing Ryan's hand and pulling her away. Ryan followed her, frowning deeply. She felt that this was a waste of time. It was just Ellie being Ellie. Though, deep down, she knew Ellie was right. She just didn't want to admit it.

Ellie pulled her into a empty classroom and closed the door.

"Ryan... do you love me?" Ellie asked her. Ryan frowned, suddenly feeling horrible. She pulled Ellie's waist into hers.

"Yes, more than anything else in my life right now." Ellie smiled sadly. "You make my day."

"I love you just as much... maybe more, I just... don't feel loved all the time Ryan. It's like sometimes you know you have me, and you're so sure of it, so you don't care."

"But I do care, it's just... I don't know how to be what you deserve..."

"You are what I deserve, when you show me you love me and care.The only time it feels like you care is when you think you're losing me, like now... and that's not enough for me." Ryan frowned, knowing what that meant. She hoped it wasn't what Ellie was trying to do, but it sounded like it.

"But Els I'll-" Ellie shook her head and looked down. Her eyes watered and tears fell, but she wiped them furiously.

"I think we should take a break Ryan. I don't know if you want to be in this relationship. This is so hard for me to do, but I know deep down it's what I should do. I've tried to talk with you, but you just get mad and... I can't keep doing this for long." Ryan's heart felt like it broke with those words. She called it a break, but the way Ellie spoke... it didn't seem like she had much of a chance to be back with her.

"Ellie, I'll be better, I promise. Please, give me another chance." Ryan begged, pulling Ellie into her.

"Ryan, I can't." Ellie cried.

"But you love me?" Ryan questioned.

"Yes, and this is why I'm doing this." Ryan stared at Ellie. She was serious. She didn't want to be with her anymore. She understood why, she was a horrible girlfriend. Ryan was stubborn, but just to prove to Ellie that she'd begin to be better, she agreed.

"Okay, fine. As difficult as it is, I respect your decision. I love you Ellie." She leaned down and kissed her lips, expecting it to be the last time. Then, she proceeded to wipe Ellie's tears, and leave the classroom.

As soon as she stepped out of the classroom, she heard loud cry release from Ellie's lips. She tried to ignore it, it hurt to hear Ellie in so much pain.

But that's what she wanted. It's her stupid fucking choice.

She grew angry as she thought about it, shaking her head and walking away.

Why hurt yourself in an attempt to make yourself happy?

She went to her class, albeit late.

"That's detention for you Ryan. Sit down, you all have a quiz. You have ten minutes left, good luck." He gave her the paper and she wished to rip it up right there.

Two punishments? Detention and little time. I do suppose it's my fault, but today's already been so shit and it's only 8 am. Fuck my life.

She looked down at the paper and a small smile formed on her face. She knew the answers to the quiz, thankfully she had stayed inside last night, against Ellie's wishes, and read the story assigned. Ha! Beat that Ellie.

She finished the quiz right as time was up and sighed in relief. There seemed to be a glimmer of hope for her today.

The day passed by slowly, as Ryan's agitation with people grew. Today was the day everyone decided to piss her off.

"What is your problem today?" Seth asked, trying to keep up with her long, quick strides.

"Nothing, fuck off." She grumbled to him.

"Is something wrong with you and Ellie?"

"Yup, we broke up." She told him. He grabbed her arm, stopping her from walking. He pulled her into a tight hug.

"I'm sorry Ry." She had to stop and laugh a little. She hugged him back.

"It's fine. I didn't deserve her."

"You did, I just think you got off track a little." She shrugged and nodded.

"Yeah... I've got detention man. Thank you... for this, whatever it was." He laughed and rubbed her back.

"Anytime kiddo, I'll come over tomorrow." She nodded and walked the rest of the way to her assigned detention class. She sat in the back, prepared to finish the work and leave.

The teacher walked in and began calling role. Ryan sat her head on her hand, knowing her name would be of the last. Sometimes she hated having a last name beginning with W. She was always last when called for anything. Even if they went by first names, she was fucked.

"Mr. Walker?" Ryan sat there, a bored look across her face. She refused to say anything, how stupid could this man have been? I've been at this school four years, there's only 150 students here, and I had him as a teacher. "Mr. Ryan Walker?" She liked to call him a homophobic fuck, because he always made sly jokes about her liking girls.

"I'm a girl not a fucking boy you dipshit." His eyes snapped towards hers.

"Did you just curse at me boy?"

"Do you have too much ear wax build up in your ears? I was your student before, you know who the hell I am."

"Well... go to the principal's office!" Ryan stood and pulled her bag over her shoulder.

"Gladly. Even though I'm sure he's gone." She mumbled, rolling her eyes. "Make sure you tell them a girl's coming up." She told him as she walked by.

She made her way to the office and the secretary was frowning at her.

"You were doing so well!"

"He called me a guy, I'm pretty sure it was purposeful, he usually picks on the gay people." The secretary gave her a look.

"Oh, I know. Your uncle's gone, I don't think he'd want to know you were in here." Ryan laughed and shrugged. Ryan's uncle was the principal, but no it didn't help her at all. It made everything worse, because as soon as he was told something about her, he blabbed to his sister.

"Today, I don't care." She studied Ryan and then looked behind her. The secretary, Mrs. Motson was smart. Ryan knew that she knew about she and Ellie. But she loved Ryan and thought she was a wonderful kid.

"I wanted to hope what they were saying wasn't true. I know today's horrible for you so-"

"Mrs. Motson, you know I hate pity. Just tell him what happened, I don't care." She stared at Ryan and nodded. Ryan knew she wouldn't tell anyway, so she sighed. "Thank you Mrs. Motson. I guess I'll be going home."

"Good luck Ry. And talk to your mother!" She yelled behind her as the door closed. Ryan laughed a little and began her walk home.

It was technically the weekend and it was bitter sweet for Ryan. Weekends were times where her family tried to "bond".

She was happy that she could finally get away from everyone at that school. It had been such a crazy day. She looked down at her phone, hoping for a text from Ellie, but of course there was none.

She bit her lip and opened the messages from she and Ellie.

Hey. She sent, taking a deep breath. She felt like she was taking a huge risk, and she had a huge feeling she wouldn't get an answer.

She looked through the messages, smiling a little at the last few.

What're you doing? Can I call you? Ryan had asked her.

Oh baby you can call me whenever you want ;) I was just watching Bring it On.

You always watch that crap, you should be tired of it.

Nope! Aren't you supposed to be calling me? She laughed, thinking about it. She had called her and they'd talked for the rest of the night, no arguing.

It was small, but it was something she knew she'd miss.

Just that quickly, things could change. Less than twenty four hours ago, the two loved each other. She wondered how the world worked that way. How did humans work that way?

Beats me.

She walked inside of her house and saw a girl on her couch. She pursed her lips.

"Ryan is that you?" She heard her mother call from upstairs.

"Yes mom." The girl turned to look at Ryan. Ryan's mouth dropped, she was beautiful. Hot.

"Please don't bother our guest." She rolled her eyes and continued towards the girl.

"Hey, I'm Ryan."

"Didn't your mom tell you not to bother me?" The girl asked, smiling slightly.

"She might have... I just...really, I just think you're fucking beautiful. I'm old enough to tell a girl that." The girl laughed.

"I'm a woman, not a kid. Kid." Ryan smiled at her.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty three."

"I'm old enough." She smirked a little. "Is there a different way to ask women out than girls?"

"You want to take me out?"

"I didn't stutter ma'am." Ryan said, causing the woman to smile widely. She was intrigued by Ryan's confidence.

"How about you find a way to get into Midtown tonight? If you can, maybe you're old enough." Ryan grinned, liking that a lot. Of course she could get into the club, she was eighteen.

"I'll see you then. Can I get your name?"

"If I see you tonight." Ryan grinned even wider.

"Deal." Ryan was happy. If Ellie didn't want her, she'd find someone else.

"You look familiar." The girl told her, scrunching up her eyes. Ryan shrugged, not thinking much of it.

"You're my mom's friend, I look like her." She threw up her hands.

"I asked you not to bother her Ry. I'm so sorry." Ryan's mother said, coming down the stairs. Ryan frowned at that. I can talk to people, I'm not a child and I won't annoy the shit out of them. Well...most of the time.

"She didn't bother me, it's fine." Her mother walked up to her and kissed her cheek.

"How was school?" Ryan shrugged.

"It was whatever." She told her. She remembered how just a few weeks ago, she'd tell her mother everything that had happened at school. But now she rarely tells her a thing. She missed talking with her mother, but she was also stupidly stubborn. "I'm just going to find something to eat."

"Your father is on his way home now to cook." Ryan nodded but still went to the kitchen. She felt the woman watching her and she turned and winked at her. The woman just rolled her eyes and began talking to her mother.

Ryan looked down at her phone, instinctively, and there was nothing from Ellie there. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. Fuck her. I'm definitely going out tonight.

Ryan grinned and threw open the refrigerator. She pulled out a bottle of water and began drinking it quickly. From there, she went to the cabinet and pulled out a pop tart, beginning to eat it. She sat on the counter, eating the outside of it.

"Are you going to talk to me today?" Her mother asked her. Ryan could tell it was bothering her, but she ignored it as best as she could.

"I just talked to you Mom. I don't have anything else to say." Her mother frowned deeply.

"Why were you flirting with her, don't you have a girlfriend?"

"That isn't any of your business." Mrs. Walker had began to get fed up with Ryan's games. She slammed her hand on the counter.

"Dammit Ryan! I'm tired of this shit. Even if you don't talk to me, for your own selfish reasons, you will respect me in my house." Ryan stared at her, hating that it had to go that far. But, things happen that way, don't they?

"Okay." Ryan told her and hopped down from the counter. She looked in the living room and saw the woman still there, divulged into a book. Ryan laughed a little. "I know you heard what just happened, but I'm still 100% an adult, I'm sure you still get yelled at by your parents."

"All the time." The woman said laughing a little. Ryan thought she was just making a joke and shook her head a little. She went up the stairs planning to wait for her father to be home.

She looked at her phone once more before throwing it across her bed and turning on the TV.