Chapter 7.

Jax

It was getting late but I found myself still at the hospital. In fact, everyone was still here as we tried our best to get Abel accustomed to us. He had done well in the beginning with me, but I could tell that he was becoming overwhelmed with everyone else. My mother especially since her bruised face from her incident with Clay was most likely scaring him. She kept reiterating that she was his grandma, she must have reminded him of the fact about a hundred times.

I could tell that Erin was doing her best to be patient, but the tension between her and my mother was still so thick. She drew all her attention to Henry who looked like a wounded puppy. Erin was humming quietly to him and showing him an abundance of affection. I didn't know much about child psychology but I knew enough to notice a sad kid. So, I led Abel back to Erin and Henry and kneeled down to Abel's level.

I reached out for Henry's hand and held it in my own, "what's the matter buddy?" If at all possible his face dropped even further and I could tell that he was on the verge of tears. "Oh, no don't cry," I reached over for him and he surprisingly allowed me to hold him. As soon as his head landed on my cut I could hear his muffled cry. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make him cry," I mouthed to Erin.

Erin shook her head, "no it's not your fault, Henry's just starting to notice the world around him a little more." I looked over at her with a confused expression and she continued, "he never got to meet Rita or Half Sack like Abel did with Wendy and you. I took him to a therapist-"

"You took him to a shrink?" my tone must have sounded accusatory.

Erin let out a sharp breath, "I do whatever I feel is necessary to understand my kids and their needs. Is that wrong?"

I could feel my cheeks heat up from embarrassment, "no, sorry, that was stupid to say." Erin nodded her head in agreement, "yeah, so his therapist said that he's blaming himself for their absence and to just surround him with affection and love. Rita loves him but she's facing thirty years, she's checked out from wanting to be in his life in any kind of way. I send her pictures and check on her every now and then, but a place like that changes you."

"Well, if it helps you can tell him that his dad was a soldier. A little odd for taste but he was the one who gave his life to protect my son, he'll always be great in my book."

Erin smiled at me and I pulled Henry back to get a good look at his face. He had calmed down and I took that moment to talk to him. "Hey, little man, you're daddy would have loved you and he would be so proud of you." Henry looked at me shyly under his helmet of blonde hair, "daddy?"

"Yes, your daddy," I nodded thinking that he understood. But then he repeated the word 'daddy' again and went back to hugging me. I looked over at Erin who looked like she was fighting the urge to smile. "I don't think he understands completely," I said.

"Oh no you're doing fine," Erin said sarcastically. Abel then began to yawn at my side. His little body shook as his exhaustion became more apparent. I then realized how tired the kids probably were, "you mind giving me a ride?" I requested. There was a part of me that still wanted to get a few more minutes in with Abel, it's just been too long without him. Erin reluctantly agreed and she got up from her seat. She scooped up Abel and we waved goodbye to everyone as we walked out of the hospital.

The ride was silent besides the few times I had to give her verbal directions to my house. I was sitting smack dab in the middle of Henry and Abel's car seats. My thumb was rubbing gently on Abel's face. He has grown so much and it was amazing to see how much he looked like me.

Erin didn't say much and just sat back quietly when she pulled into my driveway. She simply turned off the car and pulled her legs up to her chest.

"So, um, thanks for tonight," I said to her

"Don't even worry about it," was all she said back but I pressed further, "why'd you do it?" Erin was silent for a moment, "I don't know but when you got in the car and saw Abel, you had this look on your face that made me realize that..."

"What?"

"That you just needed some help. You seem like the kind of guy who wants to do good, but you find yourself in situations that call for the opposite."

"Meaning?"

"That you'd do anything to make sure that Abel never sees what you've seen. You looked so embarrassed when you saw him as if you cared about how he viewed you."

"Because I do care."

"So do I," she looked back and made eye contact with me.

"So what? You want us to co-parent and be all friendly with each other?"

"You make it sound like it's a bad thing."

"Because I shouldn't have to be planning around someone else for time with my kid!" I whisper/yelled at her.

"Jax, what do you think co-parenting is? I work around you just the same, the common goal is to make sure that Abel feels loved by both parties. This shouldn't have to be a battle; we don't have to let it go down that road." I remained silent in the backseat and she let out a sigh, "look, I gave you my number, just think about it."

"And if I don't?" I challenged.

"Then I will become the thing you're most afraid of. I have to trust you to let you take and be around Abel unsupervised. If you're not willing to give me that trust, then you..."

"What?" I could feel my anger rising at her obvious threat.

Erin turned around in her seat and looked me dead in the eyes, "if the tables were turned and you didn't trust me around Abel, what would you do?" My silence must have answered her question because she said "exactly" before turning back around in her seat. She turned the key in the ignition to start the car to signal me to leave. I took the hint and climbed out of the vehicle to allow her to drive away.

I made my way into the house when her SUV was no longer visible. The light was on in the living room and Tara was sitting on the floor with pictures of Abel spread out on the carpet. "What are you doing up?" I asked her. She looked up at me and let out a sigh, "Gemma called me from the hospital, I've been thinking about him ever since. Was that her outside?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat before nodding my head. Tara shook her head and tears welled up in her eyes, "this isn't fair Jax."

"I know," I said sadly.

"I mean could she do this? What right does she have to keep him from us?! He's our son and he was taken from our home!"

I got down on the ground to comfort Tara. I rubbed her tears with my thumbs and planted sweet pecks on her lips. "I know, I'll get him back. I just need her to trust me, trust us, she's not going to let him around here without that."

Tara began to calm down and her breathing went back to normal. "What about Clay, where does this put you with the club?"

I let out a heavy sigh, "I'm going to have to be president for a bit"

"Jax!" she protested, "you promised we would leave!"

"I know, I just can't leave them right now, they need me. I'm just going to set them straight for a bit. Get the club out of guns and drugs and get them to be legit. That should give me enough time to get good with Erin and give me a clean exit out of Samcro." Tara remained silent and I could tell she was feeling uneasy about my plan.

"Tara, if you want to head up to Oregon while this plays out I understand. You've suffered enough with this life."

Tara's mouth dropped in disbelief, "you want me to go?"

I shook my head, "no, but I want you to be safe."

"I'm not leaving without my boys, every last one of them. We leave as a family," Tara leaned in to place a tender kiss on my lips. "As a family," I said in agreement with her as I reciprocated her affection.