(ch16) explanation

It's still going to be dark srry

...

For hours on end you had been tugging and fussing, yanking your wrists forward trying to pull the shackles off the wall

You might be getting somewhere

There's a crack in it that goes from bottom to- nope that's where cuff connects

With a sigh you gave your sore wrists a break from the painful tugging and just leaned against the wall

You growled and looked to where the chain had been attached to the wall by being locked on two hooks

You tried to stand and see what you can do with the locked up hooks but you found that the chains made it incredibly difficult to make it to your feet.

With a frustrated growl you plopped back to the floor and sighed.

It had been awhile since you heard Silas leave the house but you weren't sure when he would be back.

the whole time you sat there you thought back to all the sighns that had alarmed you and yet you still stayed... But why did you?

You wanted to say it was fear but it definitely wasn't, and you weren't satisfied with that answer anyway. You wanted to say lonelyness, but you didn't care about that as long as it meant not being around a killer.

So the only option left was Love but the thing was you couldn't admit it to yourself if you loved a man who killed people, and you didn't think you wanted to love a man so much after just meeting him.

After a good 3 hours you were bored out of your mind and resorted to just making weird noises and humming, as well sighing ever few seconds and looking around as if something has magically come into reach

When you had finally given up on finding something to think about you just let yourself hug your knees tight and you yawned.

Right then you heard the door knob turning and you looked up to see Silas walk through.

And of course you acted as if it was a normal couples fight, if only in hopes to not trigger him.

You huffed and turned your head away giving him the cold shoulder as he looked at you.

He sighed sadly before confronting you

"Don't give me that darling, you know I hate when you get pouty" he said as he approached you with a hurt tone

You simply kept silent and didn't do anything and you heard him take a few more steps towards you before stopping

"Butterfly come on don't be this way, please" he said and you stayed quiet again

He walked even closer but slowly this time as if approaching a wild animal.

"Please, answer me, do something... Anything" he said but you stayed still

You were angry at him and you were above all angry at yourself for trusting him

You wanted to defend him and say he probably had a reason

But without knowing that reason you just couldn't.

You suddenly felt arms wrap around you from behind and you felt a face be buried into your back.

"Please y/n! Please say something, I know I messed up but I can't lose you" he said

You felt the back of your shirt dampen from his face and you knew he was crying

It made you feel guilt, but it also made you dissapointed at his words, atleast he knows what he's doing is wrong, that means he can be wavered.

"I want to forgive you... But I need to know why you kill... I can't trust someone I know nothing about" you said and you felt him nod hastily on your back as he pulled you closer with tears still in his eyes

"I promise, I promise just please dont hate me" he said and you used one hand to rub small circles on his own hand that held you closer.

"I don't hate you, I'm just upset" you said and he took a deep breath before inhaling your scent to calm down

"Okay... Okay" he said as you could hear him trying to clear the lump in his throat

You weren't sure why he was so upset that you were angry at him but you hoped you would find out.

"Let me... Start with... I was adopted by Mr. Serpent a year after my family threw me on the streets, he found me and... He started to raise me... Under certain expectations..."

...

"Listen closely boy, you are one of us now, you must help uphold the family business... We are hitmen" he said clapping a large hand on the frail boys shoulder

"So... Assassin's" Silas said and the man nodded

"We are trained since the day we turn 7 years of age, it gets more intense as we grow up, but nothing to extensive until you reach teen years" the man said as the two watched his son who was punching a bag with anger

"But... Is he really okay... He always looks so... Angry" Silas said just as Alen gave a hard punch to the bag

"He has anger issues... You are mature for your age are you not?" Said the man as he looked at Silas with a raised brow

"I was told that alot before" Silas replied and the man nodded

...

"Recite the rules" the man said

Silas was now 15 And ready for his first practice mission after all the training he went through

"Tell no one except family of the business

Leave no evidence

Get in quick, get out quicker

Do NOT get caught" Silas said

It was the first time he felt purpose

Like what he was doing now made him alive and worth living.

So with haste he killed his target

The only problem is he forgot to take the knife with him leaving all the evidence behind for him to be caught.

He was reprimanded by the same man who he viewed as his father. Of course with the law after them they had to pay off the case to win against the accusations.

After that he trained harder

He was practically living in the training room and committed every detail of his training to memory.

His father was proud yet he couldn't understand why he felt so empty... Like he was missing something in his day to day life that he got out of being by the family that took him in... He felt safe and secure and happy around them... But he was still missing something

...

"I had spent so long training to kill that it became all that I was, even if it's just some job, its the only thing I knew how to do. But I started to ignore the feeling that I was missing something for so long that I didn't realize it was You that I was missing, not until the day I we went to the park" he said and you sat in silence while looking at him waiting for him to continue.

"I love you... I love you more than anything in the world, but my job is to kill... I know it's not right but it's what I am... I just want you to love me for what I am" he said and you let a few years fall

You couldn't take it

Watching him break down was like letting your heart be torn apart and sewed back up before being torn at a different angle repeatedly over and over again

"Its okay... I forgive you"you said and he looked up

He immediately pulled you into a hug and buried his face in your neck

"I love you, thank you so much butterfly, thank you" he said giving kisses across your face over and over again.

You were both smiling and he took off the cuffs quickly before pulling you closer to him

"I love you too Silas" you said

Suddenly the low clack of marbles went throughout the room sounding almost like a slow sarcastic clap.

"How... Touching"