Toxic Love part 4

(No lemon but definitely getting spicier)

He is beautiful. I can never deny that. His wings lay at rest on the bed while he sits looking meek. Despite his obvious strength I don't think I've ever really experienced it myself.

I am reminded of the day in the cage he slammed me into the bars but even then I know he didn't use his full strength.

Beautiful, strong, witty when he wants to be. Yet I'll still call him my dumb bird. He never seems to understand his position.

Though I always stay painfully aware of it. As his captor. His jailer. His friend. His caretaker.

Though right now is something different entirely. He sits in my private chambers wearing such little clothing. He wears fine jewelry but it accentuates his body more than I should recognize. To make it all worse is I only wear my robe after having had a refreshing bath.

I can't help but notice things about him. The light freckling on his shoulders, the brightness in his eyes, his muscular structure. His sharp teeth and claws.

I notice how his cheeks begin to grow rosey as he speaks, "Im sorry my queen but...I don't understand your customs. It's scarey seeing you...just cut someone down like that..."

"Are you growing feverish?" I raise a brow placing a hand to his forehead

"No?"

"You are actually turning quite flushed" I note

"I...um... think it best if I leave"

"The green liquid-"

"I don't feel well" his head landed in his palms

"I'll get the doct-"

He shook his head again. I pierce my lips but nod understanding. I think I know his affliction based on the context of how I found him.

He slowly settled himself on the bed curling up with his head on his knees.

His flush slowly spread to his ears and his shoulders. He started to shiver and shake like a leaf.

"I don't mean to scare you but...its dangerous here. You have met me with the context of you a...unwilling guest. I treat you kindly because...to put plainly you have no ground to try and threaten me. No insult you throw at me will ever hurt me as I've heard worse. You don't threaten me"

"They are different" he mumbled

"Yes. The men and women in that ballroom... I need to stay at the top to not get dragged down. Respect is earned and fear is gained with control. When I took the crown...I am a woman. Most of those men think I shouldn't be ruler but just a regent. They wish for a king or at least a prince"

"Am i...your pet?"

I...I don't know how to put it. Though to some extent that is...kinda right. Yes, he's humanoid and a living being with thoughts and feelings, yet that term is right other than the moral bases for it, "You're a guest"

"Guest implies I will be able to leave"

"You know I can't promise that"

"Those men said something to me"

"Probably terrible things" I scoff

"They said you only keep things around if they are of use to you. But what use am I?"

"You know that other ki-"

"And if your kingdoms come to a disagreement? If they stop their portion of agreement? What am I then?"

"A friend" I reassure

"A friend...sure. You want to know what they told me?" The sarcasm laid thick with frusteration

"Im sure I don't but tell me anyway" I cross my arms feeling unamused by this tantrum

"They said that once you grow bored of me back in the cage I go, to rot"

"They don't know anything about me" I scoff

"They... they said you, you, women like you need men like me" His words broke

"Men like you?" I question

"Men with- without digni. With- without dignity" his breathing was making it harder for him to speak him back on the verge of tears

"You have dignity hawks"

"They called me something. I know it's derogatory but...I don't know what it means"

"How did you know it's derogatory?"

"The tone" he huffed, "What is a concubinus?"

"Its not what you are-"

"That's not what I asked" he snapped

"Its...a man who the queen...fancies"

He laughed, "Im a whore"

"You're not a whore Hawks, or a concubinus"

He looked me in the eye, "Do you want me to be?"

"Wha-"

"Its what they are all thinking. Thinking I am the one who satisfies you" he scoffed. I can still see he's trembling but at least he's seem to gotten some bit of control

"You may not be able to leave my side but you are free in other ways. I can't command you-"

"Who said anything about command?" His knuckles lightly brushed my cheek

"I don't think this is the right time for this" I push his hand away

"I disagree" he mumbled

"Then why are you shaking?"

"I am...feeling desperate"

"Desperate thinking is fogging your mind"

"Desperate thinking is filling my mind"

I put my foot down, "I refuse to even conciter until you are in your right mind"

He stared for a long moment before setting his head back on his knees, "Can i...at least sleep in here tonight? I'm scared to go back to my room"

"That's fine" I sigh

I went to my dressing room to change into proper night attire. Once back I put out all the candles but the one at his bedside figuring he can put it out once he's comfortable and layed down in the opposite side deciding not to care or make it weird. It feels better not to pay much mind to him sharing my bed.

Though this moment has given me more insight. His wings. They are large, I already knew that but never thought about how he lays with them. He practically used one as a blanket for himself seeming cozy.

I was about to fall asleep when he spoke meekly, "Have you...ever killed someone?"

"You may not realise but there was a war recently. It was over a land dispute. I took the crown...in less than ideal means"

"So you are...like the pack lead? You are the strongest and most respected"

"What did you think queen meant" I scoff

"I thought you were born royalty" he shrugged

"Im no noble lady, and no one in this kingdom will ever think of me that way even if I tried so why bother"

"But you looked nice in your dress-"

"Hawks" I stop him, "I don't want to talk about this"

"You were covered in that man's blood..."

"And he's not the last. You don't know the context"

"What context is needed to know?!" Hawks sat up

I sit up to match him, "You don't know shit about what it's like to be here"

"Well I think I'm starting to get the picture" he huffed, "My culture actually values life-"

"Did I take that man's life? No. I should have but I didn't!"

"What grounds do you have to kill someone!?"

"When he threatens you!"

Hawks stopped at that. He scoffed with disbelief before looking to the side, "Well, a world of good that did me. Look what still happened"

"Don't you dare throw that in my face"

"What? The fact I was tied up in here for hours? That I screamed for you? That even when you did show up I was terrified of you?"

Terrified of me? Terrified of ME? As I spent weeks by his bedside after he tried to escape from me. After giving him all that I had to make sure he was comfortable?

Well its fault on me for thinking we were friends I guess. My fault for trusting...a wild fucking animal.

I glared at him in the candle light. Long shadows cast in the room. To any outsider he would be the monster. A creature with giant wings. His talon like fingernails sharp and a dark black color. Even his eyes are predatory and about glowed in the firelight.

Yet here I am. The true monster. He is my prey. My little bird I've got locked up. Who I've 'betrayed', DESPITE MY COUNCIL to avoid the situation. Though I can't blame him for hating me.

Yet here he is in my bed. Still decorated in ornate body jewelry that shines and flickers in the light. Despite our bickering he hasn't left, and the red hasn't left his cheeks either.

"Why don't you leave?" I mumble

"I don't wish to go" he muttered back

"Is it shame or fear?"

"Both I guess...but...I guess it's also...I don't particularly wish to leave your side either"

"Even after you know of the lives I've taken?"

"I've taken lives too...your maids who fed me...I think a guard or two. Plenty from that other kingdom. I don't think I am much to judge"

"So all that fuss?"

"I've just... never met anyone like you" he sighed, "You're different. Strong and respected. I've never been scared of anyone more in my life who didn't hold a knife to my throat than the people here"

"Its cause here, we don't need knives to kill eachother"

"Im immune to poison. Stronger than most beings. I can kill easily...yet in this place. I am not the top. I feel so small here"

I slowly lay back down, "I do too...on the battlefield I was a respected General and treated like any man. Here all I'm ever asked is when I will provide an heir or marry"

He leaned over me looking curious, "kids?? Why would you need kids?"

"Obviously to grow up as the next ruler" I roll my eyes

"Can't you adopt?"

"I could...but I also know if I did they'd never get the respect" I sigh, "I don't want to talk about any of this, let's just get some sleep Hawks"

At that he dropped it and laid down with me. In the morning I could only briefly look over at the beautiful creature sleeping so peacefully next to me. Alas I have shit to do. I got up and started early on my meetings while tacking another on to start an investigation on who did that to Hawks the other night.

I also got a guard to follow him loosely to put my mind at ease. I felt paranoid asking for reports every few hours but he seemed fine.

Though I did notice the change. It seems word has spread about my harpy staying with me throughout the night. This is not only a point made by the higher born but even staff.

He has made quite the mess that I don't even know where to begin to clean up.

My day finally came to an end. I was about ready to relax when a guard tumbled into my office, "Your magesty!"

"What is it?" I stand seeing his panic

"Its the harpy he-"

"Where?" I bark out

"The baths"

I didn't waste a second hurrying out of the room and rushing to the baths. He's been using the royal bath since it's safer for him but...damn I should have logically asked the situation. Did he almost drown? I wouldn't think him that...well...maybe I could see it.

I made it to the baths and walked in immediately surveying the area.

Hawks laid half out of the tub looking on the verge of fainting. His eyes looked heavy as he took deep breathes.

"You've been in the hot water too long haven't you?" I question feeling relieved seeing him unharmed

"Quite the opposite really" he hummed wings flexing and causing a small splash in the water. He lifted his head letting his wet hair cling to the angles of his face, "S'only been a few minutes"

"Then the issue?" I raise a brow

"I can't stand up"

"Can't stand? Why?"

"Honestly I have no facts but a hunch"

"Well spit it out then"

"That's what's ironic, I tried. That green goop last night-"

"Shit"

"Im going to die right?"

"No" I sigh walking to the side of the pool, "You may wish it though"

"You know, every day I hate it a little more here" he grumbled

"Every day I question why I took you out of that cage"

"How kind" he layed the sarcasm on thickly

"You don't agree?"

"You obviously have never been locked in a cage"

I roll my eyes at his petty behavior. He's only doing this cause he's unhappy with his current situation, "Look, for the next few days I need you to take it easy"

"What else do I do?" He mumbled

"I don't think you should be around many people either"

"Limiting my access again?"

"Its for your safety and theirs"

"Safety. Have I bit anyone as of late?"

"No but I do fear what happens if you kiss them" I grab a towel from the drawers

"Kiss them? And why would that be so bad? You jealous my queen?"

"Your venom-"

"You have no understanding of. I can kiss you now and you would not die. My venom is controlled by my glands and I choose when to release it" he lightly beat his wings in the water causing a loud splash that went to the floor.

"Fine. But the politics-"

"Why would I go around kissing people?" He scoffed

"Because the green goop. We saw how you were before. It hasn't left your system yet so obviously we must take precautions"

"Im not some prepubecent teen who can't control his hormones. I can deal with this feeling fine"

"And you being unable to stand?"

He pouted into his crossed arms, "I just feel really weak"

"This isn't fun and games Hawks. You are my guest and I take responsibility for you"

"Stop taking to me like I'm a child" he spit slamming a hand on the tub

"Then don't throw a fit like one!" I bark back handing him the towel

I expected him to take it but I was very harshly grabbed by the wrist before being grabbed by the collar with a soaking wet hand.

Cold lips pressed to mine. The sting in my hand matched the sting in my lip, "You fucking bit me!" I scoff touching my lip to see the little bit of blood

"And you fucking slapped me!" He retorted stealing the towel from me before stepping out of the bath keeping himself covered

"Why the hell did you-"

"Are you dead? No? Oh, look, I can control my venom"

"That's not the point here!"

"You're right it isnt!" He countered walking up to me.

I retreated until I hit the door. I went for the handle but he pressed his hand to keep it closed.

He seemed far too pleased like this. He stayed silent for a long moment. I couldn't keep looking in his eyes but when I tore them away movement caught my attention as I followed a drop of water down his chest.

A sudden snap of his wings brought me back to his face, "Im not a child-"

"I know that-!"

"Then let's be more adult, yeah?" He murmered