Chapter 54

Jake kisses me in the sitting room as Mathews takes his luggage past us toward the elevator outside the apartment door. I still haven’t got a handle on this panty-combusting thing he causes. His hands cup my jaw, leaving me with a kiss that curls my toes. My hormones perking up to say hello, giving me the usual warm, tingling longing.

“I’ll call you when I land, okay?” He brushes his nose against mine and lightly kisses me.

“I’ll miss you.” I sigh against him, my arms around his neck. I reach up to be wrapped around him tightly. He slides his hands down my sides and around my back, pulling me in further still. Nothing in this world feels like a full-on cuddle from Jake. Nothing will ever compare to this.

“No sneaking off to Chicago until I’m back. Promise me.” He narrows his eyes at me, and I sigh.

Last night and again this morning, he predictably used his “sexpertize” against me and had me screaming out in agreement that I wouldn’t go. I can’t believe he can still maneuver me that way, yet here we are.

I really am pathetically submissive when he gets me naked.

“I’m only agreeing because you’re agreeing to Operation Leila and taking me on a night out when you return,” I smirk at him. His green glare hits me again. He isn’t too enamored with the finer details yet.

“We could’ve just arranged for them to meet here, you know?” His voice hitting a slightly edgy tone.

“She wouldn’t fall for that, and I wouldn’t get my night out on the town that I need badly. All this lazing about and being housebound is getting old. I’m so bored.” I sigh and give him my most appealing smile, fluttering my lashes and pouting my lip slightly.

“You do know I’m putting a curfew on this, right? No alcohol, minimal dancing, and home in bed by ten.” He focuses on my mouth, making me think about kissing him again.

Yeah, I think not, Mr. Carrero. You sound like a father right now, not a fiancée!

“We’ll see.” I smile sweetly.

“No, that’s what’s happening!” He’s narrowing his gaze on me, and I kiss him quickly. Sometimes that mouth is too tempting, even when he’s being difficult.

“We shall see,” I shrug, slowly and deliberately, watching that twitch of a smirk start at the corner of his sexy mouth. Jake likes to be bossy and in command, but he also likes me defiant too. He’s getting a kick out of my standing up to him lately, but he can’t keep his temper when I do. I’m glad, though, life would be dull and tiresome if he expected compliance from me. He never got much of it when I was his PA, so he sure as hell won’t get any more of it just because we’re together.

“I need to go, Bambina. When I call you tonight, we’ll try some phone sex. We’re definitely doing that if I have to leave you for work.” He grins, and I roll my eyes at him and his typical guy-ness.

Well, you wanted this side of him back in full roaring glory.

“You know you’re only going for forty-eight hours? You sound like it’s going to be weeks.” I laugh at him as he turns away, swiping a hand at that delicious ass.

“Forty-eight hours without you does feel like weeks.” He catches my hand and uses his hold on it to twirl me around so he can deliver a hefty smack on my ass, showing me how to do it. I yelp at the contact, grinning.

Oh, Casanova, still very smooth, aren’t you?

“Well, you better get going then so I have time to brush up on my most seductive chat up lines for your call, Mr. Carrero. I might start with what I’m wearing.” I giggle, and he catches me in one final kiss that melts my bones. I wonder if all couples still kiss this way after the honeymoon period has worn off? I can’t imagine him not doing this to me, even when we’re old and crippled.

“I’ll expect our kind of phone sex to be conducted naked, via Skype, on a video call, baby,” and I get the Carrero wink that makes my knees go weak.

Of course, he does.

The naughty look he throws my way says he’s serious, then he turns, and I walk with him to the door. He kisses me one last time before sauntering out, dressed to impress in an immaculate three-piece gray suit over a crisp white shirt. He doesn’t often do waistcoats under his jackets, but this Saville Row number makes him hotter than hot. I sigh blissfully, watching that ass move out the door, then muse a little sadly when it shuts, and he’s gone again all too soon. He is far too tempting nowadays, and I still can’t get a handle on the craziness of my sex-crazed hormones.

Damn. Maybe video phone sex isn’t such a bad idea after all?

Especially if I need to get through forty-eight hours alone.

Forty-eight hours to amuse myself, and I’m determined to find something more productive to do than sitting around twiddling my thumbs, feeling like a crazy horny pregnant woman. There’s no denying it. That man has simply ruined me.

Tomorrow I am going to shop, maybe abuse that sexy gold card Jake always leaves in my purse, buy some things for this little tadpole, seeing as I can’t get around the fact of it coming. We’ve already picked the nursery in our new home. I’m sure spending money on Jake’s offspring is acceptable, as I’m still getting used to this money thing. I did agree to accept this part of his lifestyle and indulge a little, so that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

At least try to.

I flicker down at my slightly extended stomach and sigh. Its presence ignites a familiar tingling ache in my heart, running a hand over it soothingly. Shopping will be a good distraction.

We’ve heard nothing from Marissa directly, but the lawyers have informed Jake she is fighting the DNA tooth and nail. I’m not surprised since she seems to be hell-bent on making this a battle every step of the way. All her recent outburst has done is convince me she believes this baby is Jake’s, so it must be. She wouldn’t fight for it this hard and this much if it weren’t.

I turn my thoughts back to our plans, and Hunter, in a bid to push the Demon Bitch back off the cliffs of my mind where she belongs. We’re going to hit the club we went to on Arrick’s birthday if I can talk Sarah and Leila into it. Daniel will get his chance to talk Leila out of her crazy decision, with all of us backing him up. I like this plan, and knowing how much of a party girl Leila is, I’m sure she won’t say no to a girly night out with her two most favorite women.

* * *

Jake wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to try video sex! However, we’ve ended up laughing a lot on a Skype call while I sit in my underwear, and he lies in a hotel bed with a sexy naked torso making me ache. Sexy turned to funny; before we knew it, he has me crying tears of laughter. I sometimes forget that he can be quick-witted and sharp. His sense of humor is devastating; I can’t remember ever laughing as much as this in my life, and my muscles ache with the effort.

“Soon as you’re able to start flying again, I’m bringing you everywhere I go.” He sighs at me through the iPad screen. I trace the shape of his mouth on the smooth surface, inner loneliness aching through me that I always get at his absence.

“You need to get used to this; soon enough, I won’t be able to follow you around the world, Jake. We’ll have a child to stay home for.” I sigh at him, snuggle down in bed, matching his pose, and get comfortable.

“I’ll bring you both.” He raises a stubborn eyebrow, and I can only giggle.

“And what about when it starts pre-school or an actual school? You can’t just demand we come with you anytime you need to go.” I giggle at that boyish face.

“I like this you know?” Jake regards me seriously, and I frown.

“What? Our useless attempt at video kinky, and we’re talking schools instead? How very sexy!” I giggle again, caught in the best mood because of him.

“You talking babies. I still wasn’t sure you were warm on having it, and now you’re acknowledging that a baby is coming.” He chews his bottom lip, and I spot that little tell. He’s thinking about what he’s saying, choosing his words carefully, still walking on eggshells occasionally, especially when it’s something that matters to him.

“I needed time to get used to it, to get used to everything. I guess I’m happy … It still feels surreal and weird, but tadpole is in there, and it’s coming no matter what we do.” I sigh and glance down at my stomach under the thin sheet, experiencing that same tingle in my heart anytime I acknowledge its existence.

“Tadpole?” Jake raises an eyebrow at me.

“Yeah, you know … Because I think of a tiny little sperm, and you know … well, I don’t know what it looks like this early!” I giggle, and Jake bursts out laughing. It’s maybe about time I start reading pregnancy books.

“Jesus, baby, could you be any more goddamn adorable? God, I love you so much.” He laughs in the deep husky way that he does; a little sensual but overall infectious. Jake can be irresistibly cute when in completely natural and relaxed mode. It sounds good to listen to him laugh this way. It sounds even better to hear him trying to curb his swearing. I felt like a broken record chastising him every time he swore; now, his chatter is filled with goddamn instead of fuck. I guess he must’ve realized that he doesn’t want our child’s first words to be fuck or fucking after all.

“So, what would you call it?” I pout mockingly at him, laughing at me.

“Seriously?”

“Yes.” I laugh, watching how he furrows his brow and chews his lip, deep in thought, with a suddenly serious expression on his face.

“Mia or Lucas. I guess I would call it one of those.” Jake suddenly seems so young and unsure, a lump catching my throat. It’s not what I expected as an answer. I expected some cute inner womb nickname. The thought of a little Mia or Lucas Carrero suddenly overwhelms me, realization hitting me at how much thought Jake has put into this. He has thought about names for our child. I could cry.

“Where did you find those names?” I breathe softly, eyes glazing over with moisture.

“Mia just sort of sounds close to Emma, and as you know, it’s my favorite name in the whole world.” He winks cheekily, but my heart tells me he’s not kidding. “And Lucas, well, I just like it. It sounds like a good Carrero name.” He watches me through the screen as I think through his choices, and I honestly can’t find fault with either.

“I love them both. I especially love that you like Mia because it sounds like my name. Sometimes you’re too cute for words, Mr. Carrero. You always surprise me.” I sigh, touching the screen again, desperate for his mouth on mine, especially when we’re talking like this. Suddenly he seems so very far away, and I miss his arms around me.

“Don’t let people know how soft I actually am. It would totally ruin my reputation.” He winks again, and I eyeroll.

“I’m pretty sure your reputation that preceded me will go on for a very long time. It’s more famous than you are, baby. I’m sure, even with an engagement announcement, the world still assumes you have a row of scantily clad women in the back running around, getting drunk, and acting wild. I’ve seen the endless tabloid scandals about you, remember!” I narrow my eyes at him and smile.

“How do you know that isn’t my backup plan for the next time you leave me?” He winks, and he’s lucky he’s thousands of miles away, as that remark deserves a dig to the ribs. I stick my chin up and raise a haughty eyebrow.

“Hmm …” is my only reply, and Jake breaks into an adorable Hollywood hottest smile.

“You know I’d follow you to the end of the world, baby, chase you with everything I’ve got if I was ever stupid enough to lose you again. I don’t plan on us ever being apart, Emma. I can’t wait to get you down the aisle and have you, as mine … Mrs. Carrero.” That smooth declaration and sexy smile calm down my inner bristled feathers.

“It does have a nice ring to it, I guess … Emma Carrero … Mr. and Mrs. Jake Carrero. I could get used to that,” I ring off dreamily.

“You better get used to it as soon as the house is sorted. Our next plans will be wedding themed.” He warns with a wink.

“You don’t think I should maybe push a baby out first so I don’t look like a whale on my wedding day?” I frown at him, then look down at my stomach, trying to figure out how long I have before I do start looking like a round Christmas tree ornament. I know nothing about pregnancy at all.

“Hell no. No child of mine is being born outside of this marriage, baby.”

We both pause as Jake realizes what he’s said, and I frown at him.

“Except …” I sigh back at him with a rather sad expression, and Jake rubs a hand across his face as he realizes what he just said.

“I know. This shit with her … I know. Fuck, baby. I’m sorry, I just totally ruined this.” He sounds so gutted and remorseful that his swearing-self has returned …

Well, he can’t always be perfect, can he? Although, the swearing makes him who he is, and that’s perfect enough for me.

“Don’t be silly. I just need to get used to that part of our reality, that’s all … Is she still on radio silence?” I push down that lump of emotion and don’t let him see it’s hurt me.

“As far as I know. The DNA refusal was her only contact, and no one has seen her in New York since we left. If she’s still in the Hamptons, no one there has seen her around either; she may have gone back to LA.” He shrugs with one shoulder.

“Good riddance. I hope we don’t have to deal with her until the baby is born.” I huff out loud, and Jake grins at me again. “What?” I frown at him and can’t help but smile back.

“Just … You don’t realize how much more you talk to me now. How open you are about telling me things, Bambina. You don’t hide your feelings or those crazy internal insecurities like you used to. I love that it’s changing.” He’s smiling as he speaks, full of genuine happiness.

“I hadn’t even noticed, to be honest.” While twisting the bed sheet between my fingers, I ponder it and realize he’s right. I do verbalize more openly how I am feeling now. I no longer get that terrible fear or tightening throat when I try.

“Do you ever still think about the stuff that happened when you were a kid, Emma?” The question bowls me over, and I click that Jake’s probing to see how I’ll react and respond. He wants to know if I’m going to open up to him or clamp down, and I sit for a moment and think, try to analyze how I’m feeling, yet realize there’s nothing there.

“Sometimes, but not really anymore. The dreams are there when you go away but not as bad or as often. They’re more like distant memories that aren’t very clear. The memories of what those men did and tried to don’t hurt me anymore. I’m not ashamed of it now.” I shrug, and Jake watches me with an intense look of sheer emotion.

“And Vanquis?” He clears his throat. I can tell he’s having a hard time containing his feelings over the fact of me so readily talking about this stuff, with zero reaction and zero hiding.

“A part of me still thinks he’s out there somewhere, but I don’t think of him much. Not since you told me you loved me, Jake. I know you wouldn’t let him hurt me again, and to be honest, life is too consumed with you to dwell on the past.” I try to lock eyes through the screen and hate that it doesn’t have the same effect. I miss him a little too much, especially when having this kind of conversation.

“Emma …” Jake’s voice breaks, and he sighs. “Jesus, I never thought you answering me straight about this shit would turn me into a fucking girl.” He rubs a hand across his face, and it’s then that I spot he got as close to tears as I think I could have coped with.

“You’re such a man! Don’t wuss out on me, Carrero. I happen to like your strong pushy self.” I tap the screen as though warning him, pointing a waggling finger his way.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’m all man when it counts. I’m allowed to shed a couple of tears over the fact that my girl has moved on, mon-u-fucking-mentally, in only a few months of being with me. You have no idea, baby.” He settles his arm behind his head, and I watch with sheer delight how his muscles seem to grow magically.

“You’re very sweary tonight, Mr. Carrero.” I yawn and stretch out, my eyes getting heavy with the late hour. I’ve been a total lightweight since getting pregnant, still sleeping way too much.

“Being away from you makes me sweary, Bambina, go to sleep and dream of me. I’ll be dreaming of you. You’re tired, so that’s an order.” He gives me his bossy tone and serious look.

“Stay with me.” I sigh and watch him via the screen lying on the pillow next to me, propping it as though he’s right there.

“I’ll always stay with you, Bambina. Now, go to sleep, and once you’re out, I’ll disconnect.”

“I love you.” I sigh gently, tired and already fading out quickly.

“I love you so much more. Sleep.” Jake props up his laptop too, so both his hands come into view behind his head as he gets comfy. I snuggle into the cushion and close my eyes.

“Talk to me until I sleep.” I yawn again, hearing a small noise that sounds like he’s laughing under his breath.

“Could you be any more adorable, baby? … I’ll read to you if you like? I have a Stephen King book with me.” He sounds happy and amused; I could listen to that voice forever.

“Do that. I want to hear you as I fall asleep.” I open one eye and look at him as he stretches across the bed away from the screen and comes back with his book, and I blow him a kiss, closing my eyes again, ready to listen to the only voice in the world that has so much power over me.