Chapter Thirty-Three

*Not edited*Not proofread*

Chapter 33– It's just not a good idea:

There's something oddly peaceful about staring out into the water on a cold night, the rest of the world seeming quiet for just a few blissful moments of silence. There's a calmness in the air you never quiet take notice of at first; but when you finally do, you wonder why you'd never paid it as much attention as before.

The wind blows harshly through the night and raindrops fall into the water, breaking the consistent flow of its surface. The blades of grass at the side of the riverbank sway gently beside me, tickling the skin of my exposed legs, running against the scars that lay beneath the ink of my tattoo's.

The air smells of fresh rain and wet soil, not a combination that sounds as pleasant as it actually is. I like it. It's fresh in a way that the centre of Raven Hollow isn't, and a little lighter; not as suffocating.

But maybe that's just me.

"It's not."

Nine sits cross-legged next to me, her expression much more dull and lifeless than usual, her tone sullen. I don't bother to ask what's wrong, seeing as it can't be anything personal; I would know about it. She stares out into the faraway lights of the city, her eyes void and attention elsewhere.

We sit in a peaceful silence for a while longer, my breaths coming out visibly as steam while the air around Nine is clear— obviously. Dead people don't breathe.

After a few more minutes of rare tranquillity, I finally get up and wipe my hands down the front of my jeans, getting ready to leave. I don't ask Nine if she's coming because she has to; she goes wherever I go.

I slowly walk up the hill by the river, in no rush to get back. My boots are coated with mud and a few blades of grass stick to the leather. I pass by the spot Lilah's body lay a few weeks ago and ignore the way my body tenses at the memory of being consumed by the lake.

"I know you're scared of the water."

Lilah's voice rings in my ears like an annoying song stuck in my head. I still don't understand how she knows of my dislike (not fear) towards water. It's not something I voice out loud... ever. No one needs to know that small, irrelevant piece of information about me; it's nobody's business.

"I know you're scared of water," Nine remarks as she straps herself into the passenger seat of my car. It takes a couple of quick blinks and a head shake to realise my mind is playing tricks on me and she's not actually secured into my car with the seatbelt.

"Not scared," I grunt out, tearing my eyes away from her and pulling off from the side of the road where I had left my car. The roads aren't exactly busy today due to the crappy weather and freezing temperature.

"You're scared, Harlow. You don't even take baths."

"Why are you concerned about the way I wash myself?" I retort with a roll of my eyes.

"You know what I'm getting at."

"I prefer showers," I reply honestly, unsure as to why I'm entertaining this conversation; why I entertain any conversation with anyone, especially a dead figment of my imagination.

"Because you don't like that the bath reaches past your ankles."

I hate the way she speaks so matter-of-fact, like she's so sure she's right when she's not.

"It's okay to be scared, you know?"

I clench my fists around the wheel in anger. "In a minute you can get out and walk back."

"What they did to us wasn't right, One. They were horrible, deranged people... I don't blame you for being sca—."

"Tell me I'm scared one more fucking time and I'll drive this car straight off the bridge just to shut you up," I threaten with a warning glare in her direction, finally making her shut the fuck up for once in her afterlife.

I shake my head as I grip the wheel, working my jaw in frustration. The facility doesn't scare me... I'm over it.

__

The door slams closed behind me as I enter the foyer and chuck my keys into the familiar bowl that greets me every time I come through the entrance, metal hitting ceramic the only noise that fills the hall. I don't bother to take off my boots as I climb the stairs two at a time, too focused on getting into my room without my daily run-in with Jace.

However, luck has never been on my side.

"Someone's eager to lock themselves in their room again, aren't they?" My annoying housemate appears in front of me with folded arms and the same accusing expression he's worn every time I've seen him for the past couple of weeks on his face. He wears nothing but a pair of basketball shorts in our heated house, the bitter air outside not something we have to worry about. He stares me down right in front of my door and doesn't look like he's about to budge.

"Get out of my way, J," I roll my eyes, huffing out an annoyed breath.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on with you?" He counters, the muscles in his biceps flexing ever so slightly. My eyes trace the veins in his arms until they disappear under the jagged scars at his wrists. "You've barely left your room in two weeks, R.A."

"What are you? A time keeper?" I scoff. "It's really none of your business what I do in my free time, Jace, so back off."

"Your free time? You haven't been going to school, you've not showed up to work... I can't keep lying for you if you won't tell me what's wrong."

I shrug my shoulders, unbothered. "Then don't, I really don't give a fuck, just get out of my way."

"Little Warrior, we're not done with this conversation— R.A!" He exclaims as I barge past him and unlock my door. "You've got two days to sort your shit out, or—."

I close my door and block out the rest of his speech once I'm finally inside of my room, relocking it so he can't burst in like I know he wants to.

"I'm going to find out what you're doing in there!" Jace calls one last time before I hear him retreat to his own room. I roll my eyes at his persistence before surveying my perfectly tidy space.

The bed is made, a little messily, but made nonetheless; my desk is neatly organised with my laptop laying directly in the middle of it; my floor is free of any stray items of clothing as they're all hung up in my closet or folded in the drawers.

It looks normal.

I kick off my shoes before picking them up and walking over to the closet where the shoe rack resides. I'm greeted with my black clothing on the black metal hangers with a few odd items of white as I open the double doors.

I set my boots in the free gap between two pairs of black boots and adjust them so they're in line and the laces aren't hanging off the side.

Neat and organised, just how I like it.

Straightening my back, I roll my shoulders and try to ease out the knot I can feel between my shoulder blades, moving my neck from side to side to stretch out the muscles there, too. Sitting in the cold by the lake for hours wasn't the greatest decision I'd made for my body, that's for sure. But my head needed clearing after the continuous days I'd spent in my room with little to no fresh air over the past two weeks.

Once I feel a little less stiff, I reach out and separate my clothes down the middle between a black jumper and a slightly off-black jumper. I cringe as the top of the hanger vaguely screeches against the clothes rail of my closet and try to ignore the way it makes an unpleasant shiver run down my spine.

"Do you really think this is a good idea, Kody? Because I think you may be overreacting," Nine looks a little uneasy as she stands beside me, her eyes focused on the back of my closet through the space I've created. "I know you fixate on things, but this..." she trails off. "It's just not a good idea."

"Something isn't right here, Nine," I tell her matter-of-factly as I stare at the pinned up pictures and files on the wall behind all my dark clothing; the only thing that isn't even remotely organised or neat in my bedroom. It's a board filled with messy, handwritten notes, scribbled out words on paper, and sloppily pinned-up photos. I've spent hours staring at this board, trying to make all the information I have make sense, attempting to discover something, anything, that's out of the ordinary or doesn't add up, but there's no sign of any red flags. But I know that with time, I'll find something. I have to; because something isn't right here.

"And I'm not going to stop looking until I find out."

___

Author's Note

So... what do you think Kody is up to this time?

Sorry that this is the only chapter I've posted in months and it's so short, but now that I kind of have an idea about what I want to write, hopefully it'll be easier for me to sit down and focus on this rather than keep putting it off.

Also, I've had a lot of new readers this week, so I just want to say welcome! Thank you for giving this book a chance and I hope you're all enjoying it so far (:

!!!!RECAP!!!!

So I'm not actually good at recaps, therefore I'm just going to make brief bullet points instead, lol. None of this "previously on Subject Me To Love' crap.

This is just to briefly remind readers of where we left off because I take the absolute piss with these updates and I'm not surprised if you're forgetting parts of the storyline.

Also, if you have any other questions regarding earlier bits of the story that you're unsure about, leave a message here or just PM and I'll catch you up if you need. Wouldn't want you guys being confused while you're reading (:

So, here we go:

*Lilah attempted suicide.

*Dakota and Kody are still arguing— why? Because Dakota is finally over the way she treats him.

*Zeke was found crying outside of the school— why? We don't know yet.

*Ricky gave Kody the names of the people who hurt Lilah, but she hasn't gotten around to doing that.

*Kody asked Stanley for help hacking into peoples socials media's and things like that so she can find these people (remember all she has is the name)— she asked Stanley because she knew Jace won't help her.

Now I think that's enough to help refresh some of your memory's, but let me know if it's not and I'll more than happily give you guys a bit of a more detailed recap.