Chapter 30: Forgiveness

Alexander sat in the front seat with his head pressed against the window pane. He felt the temptation to worry. It's what he used to do whenever something moderate or huge would happen. And this? This was huge. It was more than most people could take and he was convinced that those who didn't crumble under the weight also had a firm foundation in Christ.

How else could they stand and keep their heart intact? He stared as the scenery shifted from the woodsy escape he had gone to, to the plain large expanse of roads. The mountains in the distance were bushy and green. He was sure that Arielle would love the sight of them. A small smile fell on his face at the thought of her staring at them in awe.

She was always in awe of what God made. He wondered if she ever saw herself through His lens. Alexander knew that what he saw was beautiful and since he had begun seeking the Lord, he realized the depth of her character too. Her character was molded and shaped by the love of God that flowed through her. Her submission to Christ is what made her shine so brightly and it inspired him.

He let out a long sigh and turned his attention ahead of them. The dark paved roads curved and curved as they drove along the mountainside. The glistening rays of sunlight that glowed in between each leaf appeared as stencils of gold on the path before them. Similar to their very situation, it was a beacon of hope amid darkness.

As the minutes dragged on becoming a half hour and then a while more, they were gradually nearing the airport. He hoped that the flight would somehow be faster back home than it was to get where they were now. He could only picture how Arielle was doing.

Was she scared? He wondered.

Was her faith with her now, when she needed it most?

His brows furrowed and his eyes squeezed shut as he replayed Vincent's phone call. Meghan's frantic cries could be heard in the background. Her words were nearly incoherent, but he heard what he needed to hear.

"They took her!" Her cries had interrupted into sobs as she undoubtedly relived the moment it all transpired.

He had never heard Meghan cry like that. He'd always seen her cool demeanor save for moments of envy, but that had soon become the past. She had quickly let go of her affections or rather obsessions toward Alexander, and altogether her mood shifted dramatically. It took a lot to trouble her now, but that phone call proved that she was beyond troubled.

She was panicked.

Fearful.

Traumatized.

The moment he received that call, they all packed up with haste, and with absolutely few words exchanged between them. Jeremy held his head down, not making eye contact with them as they rushed back and forth. Alexander wondered what was going through his mind, but his curiosity sprung up once they were already in separate cars making their way to their flight.

Alexander sighed in relief as the airport came into view.

However, a new question popped up.

What would he do when he got there? Lorenzo had clearly shown that he was willing to cross many lines to get what he wanted. There was no telling what else he would do.

Nonetheless, instead of indulging in the queries that could fill his mind at a moment's notice if he allowed it- he decided to focus his mind back on God. The fast he had embarked on started a huge shift in him. Even bigger than before. He could see with such great clarity. One that he didn't have before.

He could easily say that he felt physically drained, and tired from his fast, yet before all of the new chaos, he never felt more alive. Even now, he felt a hope within him. He could sense that Arielle would be safe, but he couldn't remain stagnant. So there he was, readily waiting with his hand on his bag.

Within a few hours, they would be home. It was longer than Alexander would have chosen but refused to complain. At least there was a way to get back at all.

Once their rental was parked, Devin and Alexander hopped out. People were flowing in and out of the airport. Many conversing amongst themselves. It was packed and Alexander could sense the brimming annoyance growing on Devin as he weaved through the crowd. Much like Alexander, Devin wanted the feud with Lorenzo to come to an end. Any form of hindrance was beginning to cause agitation, and that seemed to include crowds.

Alexander tapped his shoulder, looking over at his distraught friend, "It'll be okay," he said.

Devin sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "I think I'm worried enough for the both of us," he answered with a nervous chuckle.

"Maybe, but you don't need to be. Worrying will do nothing. We have to be proactive and focused." He replied, setting his luggage down as the staff at the airport began to check it. Alexander's phone continued to ding in his pocket as they continued through the route of the airport, finally making it to the entry point of the plane.

The guards weren't far behind. Alexander and Devin took their seats first. Within seconds, the guards passed them by with Jeremy in their grasp. He kept his head low, still refusing to make eye contact with the gentleman. Yet Alexander could still see the shame and fear etched on his face. Alexander felt sorry for him. He believed that he did care for Arielle, but that he was, at the very least, deceived.

Yet deceived or not, what he did was wrong.

Another ding sounded, causing Alexander's attention to fall to his phone. The small device lit up with Vincent's name. He smiled in relief in reading his message.

"We've got a tip on his location," it read. A surge of solace flowed through him at that message. He knew it would all pan out, but witnessing it unfold was alleviating.

Devin poked Alexander on his arm, pulling Alexander's eyes from his phone.

"Any update?" Devin asked. He glanced over at the phone in his hands too before taking a sip of his water.

"They've got a tip of where he might be." Alexander angled his phone so that he too could see the message.

"That's awesome. You must feel elated," he said while rubbing his face.

"You're exhausted," Alexander commented.

"I am. Your employee..." Devin began while jabbing his thumb in the direction of Jeremy who was still noticeably downcast. "...Didn't allow me to have the most comforting night's rest. And your rival made sure that there'd be no follow-up nap." He said with a sigh.

"I'm sorry, Devin. None of you deserve to be dealing with this. It's my mess and it's my fault." Alexander apologized. "I calculated nearly everything when I came into this line of work, but not this. Competition- sure. But never this."

"Don't blame yourself. Lorenzo is practically a sociopath," Devin replied with a sleepy shrug.

"What's more concerning is that I don't think he is. I think that he allowed envy to blind him and it will catch up to him. Now he's done all of this, but then what?" Alexander leaned his head back on his seat, feeling the plane rumble to life.

"Then he deals with the consequences," Devin replied matter-of-factly. "He's old enough to know what's right from what's wrong. He's tried to sabotage you for years. Anyone with eyes can see that, but it ends here," Devin reassured him while patting his shoulder. "By the time we get there, he may already be behind bars."

"Maybe," Alexander mumbled, but his mind seemed elsewhere.

"Do you doubt that?" Devin asked. His brows furrowed as he studied his friend's demeanor.

"It's not that. You're right. He very well might be behind bars by the time we return, but I can't help but think beyond that. Lorenzo is persistent. The question is no longer, "Will he get caught?" but instead "Will he stop? Will he change?"" Alexander explained. "He was willing to stoop this low, but will he ever change? Will he feel even a drop of guilt for what he's done?"

Devin shook his head slowly, "I don't know. I don't know if that matters now though, Alex."

"But I think it matters a lot. I have known that man for years and I have become so angry at him. So tired of him. I've wanted him out of my life entirely, but now-"

"But now?" Devin asked visibly perplexed.

"But now I'm hit with a sense of regret," He explained.

"There is nothing you have done wrong in this, Alexander. Nothing." Devin let his words hang in the air.

"I've felt a disdain for him since he's proven to be a consistent enemy throughout my career. I've never forgiven him. I've never offered him help," Alexander knew that Lorenzo's choices were not any fault of his own, but he also wondered if perhaps he had shown some kindness and offering forgiveness would have done something to help.

He remembered the way he had responded to Lorenzo over the years and there surely wasn't any grace in his words, but what would have happened if there were? He could only recall one verse at that moment from a devotional he had read.

"A soft answer turns away wrath,

But a harsh word stirs up anger." - Proverbs 15:1

"So what's the harm in that? Have you seen what he's done?" Devin answered him, successfully pulling Alexander from his thoughts.

"Devin, don't you understand?" Alexander pleaded with him. "I've seen what I've done. I've seen the people I have discarded, those I have ignored, those I have treated as worthless extras on a set. I've seen my evil and I cannot justify not forgiving his." Alexander saw his hypocrisy and it disturbed him. Only the light can expose darkness and reveal the depth of it and seeing the darkness that existed within him before he knew the Lord deeply disturbed him.

"I hear you, Alexander, I just don't get this. I don't understand you anymore or whoever you're becoming." Devin shook his head. His eyes drooped lower as his exhaustion grew.

"I know," He replied. Flashbacks played from the moment he met Arielle. The person God used to pull him in. Just one of a few. He appreciated the boundaries she placed between them. Not only was it right, but it also taught Alexander patience as well as contentment. His time in the cabin was met with the answer he had fasted for, but he had reached a point where he was fine either way.

Ultimately, he desired to know Christ and he wanted that for everyone he had ever met and for everyone they had ever met and so on.

The two men sat in silence for a while as the plane flew over large expanses of water and then lush land. Devin kept earbuds on and a few of the guards had fallen asleep. It didn't take long for Devin to follow suit, but Alexander kept to what he felt was necessary, so he remained awake.

Amid the silence of their flight and the inability to reach back home faster than the pace the plane was going already, Alexander felt a battle within him to succumb to fear, to doubt, to the pain that the situation desired to bring on him.

Tears began to flow from his eyes and there he cried silently.

"God, I give this all to you. There's little that I can do and that little can easily go wrong if it goes without your guidance. Teach me how to lean on you. I give this all to you..." He whispered.

A still small voice answered him. It wasn't an audible voice, but it was strong and loving nonetheless. It seemed to speak from within him, in his spirit. And what He heard shocked him. It had nothing to do with Arielle or even himself, but instead, it had all to do with Lorenzo. It echoed what he had been feeling and saying to Devin earlier.

"Forgive him. Pray for him."

He knew he had to do it. He felt the strong urge and conviction to let go of the grudge, but when the time came, it felt incredibly difficult. He thought it would simply flow, but he recalled every offense, every slanderous rumor, everything. It all slowed him from forgiving as smoothly as he had hoped he would.

"Forgive him as I have forgiven you." He heard.

"I forgive him, Lord. I forgive him." Alexander replied keeping his voice low to not wake those around him. It didn't take long after for Alexander to realize that the Almighty God loved Lorenzo as much as He did him and it was the eye-opener he needed.

And so there he wept for the man that hated him, he wept and wept for Lorenzo to repent and for his heart to be healed until he fell asleep.

The rumbling of the plane woke him, causing his body to rock gently. With a groggy expression, Alexander glanced over to his left to see that Devin was still asleep. Tapping his shoulder lightly, Devin groaned and outstretched his arms, waking up as well. With a slight nod of the head, Devin spoke, "Thanks."

"No problem," Alexander replied with a yawn. Both men grabbed their carry-on bags once the plane landed, feeling eager to get off their flight.

"Hey, Alex?" Devin asked once they exited the airport.

"Hm?" Alex hummed. He scanned the parking lot, looking for their car to enter the pickup lane.

"Even if you forgive him, what then?" Devin asked as he stared at the expanse of the sky. The sun was beginning to move further toward the west, getting ready to set soon.

"I already have forgiven him. At least now I have," Alexander said followed by a brief pause. "But what do you mean?" He questioned.

"I mean Lorenzo was never pining for your forgiveness. He's been pining for your position. So what then? You tell him you forgive him and everything just becomes perfect? Happily ever after?" Devin asked. There was slight sarcasm in his voice, whether intentional or not, Alexander took no offense to it.

"I don't know what it will bring for him, but I know what it's brought for me," Alexander replied as he tinkered with his phone. He had almost forgotten to turn off airplane mode.

Devin raised a brow. "And what would that be?"

"The capacity to love him as a fellow human made in the image of God and therefore pray for him without any bias or bitterness in my heart." Alexander began. Although he had forgiven Lorenzo just two hours ago, he truly did feel like he was able to see him through God's eyes. "And forgiving him allows my heart to be healed too- but my biggest reason is that I'll be able to grow even more in my relationship with God."

"I highly doubt he desires your love," Devin scoffed.

"It doesn't matter. When I was lost, God called me to Him. He loved me before I ever knew Him. I don't need a friendship to be reciprocated between Lorenzo and me. We were never friends, but the same God who forgave me of all of my evil and wrongdoing has called me to forgive him and so I've done just that." Alexander answered him with a sincere smile. It reached his eyes and Devin's perplexity grew slightly, but so did another feeling.

Conviction.