Chapter 24: Forgetting Her To Know You

A/N: The song in the background is what was played as I wrote this. I recommend listening to it for the entirety of the chapter, hitting replay when necessary. I hope that you all enjoy. God bless you, dear readers. <3

Ring! Ring!

Alexander sighed. The phone had been on an endless ring for the past two or three minutes. When he had first picked his company's service provider, he wanted the option of a continuous ring to keep hopeful clients on the line to maximize his reach, but now it worked against him.

Tapping his finger against the dark wooden nightstand, he focused on his breathing. Vincent hadn't answered him yet. The ringing had remained on an endless loop as if to test his patience, but he was grateful because there were many words that he lacked.

He knew he needed to call him, but he had little idea of how to word the pictures in his mind. The image of freedom, but a different kind of freedom. He felt that he had a purpose that deeply contradicted his constant climbing of the business ladder. A duty with his name written on it.

His desire for his original goals within the AMI company was steadily dwindling as the days went on.

He shook his head. He needed to find the words before Vincent answered. The last thing he needed was to cause confusion or concern for his cousin. Vincent had taken on the role of a big brother, one who seemed willing to give up his own free time- possibly even his life, to ensure the safety of those he loved.

While raking a hand through his hair, Alexander thought long and hard about what to say or rather how to say it.

It was hard to keep up with the incessant thoughts prancing around in his mind. He would occasionally glance at the unnecessarily large mirror toward the front of his room. The phone rang and rang, causing his mind to drift.

"Why did I buy that mirror?" He thought to himself.

The mirror itself was large in stature and the outline of it wasn't black nor the common silver and gold as seen in most homes. It was a deep brass tone, nearing dark gold but warm in appearance. As if his room didn't feel empty enough, it seemed to expand its size with the help of creating a vast illusion of its depth.

Alexander was beginning to loathe his living arrangement. It didn't sit well with him. What was the point of such a large house without having many more to share it with? It felt like a literal waste of space. It was extravagant to many of its admirers, but there wasn't much Alexander could do with the space that he had.

He had been suggested to host a gala or two in his time in the business world, but even he couldn't uphold a facade long enough to pretend he enjoyed the event. And unlike before, he recognized now that lying was a sin even in its 'whitest' forms. There was no such thing as a white lie according to the Lord. All lies were filthy and unbecoming of the one doing it.

Ring! Ring! The phone continued, pulling him back to where he was and what he was doing. With a sigh of defeat, he realized his only answer was reaching out to Vincent's personal phone. He almost didn't want to disturb him. He had taken over the business well, but Alexander understood just how unfair that would be.

Vincent's phone had been busy since he took up Alexander's responsibilities. The main office phone was busier as most people didn't have the direct extension to reach Alexander straight away.

Alexander glanced toward his window pane. The gray cast of the sky didn't make him feel as lonely as they had in the past. Instead, there was a deep desire to soar past those clouds, to return to the place in his first dream where he met the Lord. Just to speak, just to ask questions in that place that had become their secret.

The secret place.

Yet a thought came to mind, rather quickly at that.

His secret place did not require exact coordinates. It was wherever he prayed, wherever he sat with the Lord one on one. That was the secret place and Jesus would always be there. In that place with him and his heart. He had no doubt on the matter.

He thought that he could simply turn up to the office, yet he didn't desire to venture out from his home to visit the AMI building right now. Even with the sight of the dreary window, where raindrops made their home, he would rather remain where he sat.

As the ringing continued, he sighed.

"Maybe not now, maybe not today,"  he whispered to himself. He couldn't fight the urge to flow away, to go elsewhere. Even if for just a short while. His heart yearned for something bigger than the reality around him and he knew exactly why.

God was more than he had ever known and he wanted to venture into the depths of who He was.

"A message will suffice," he mumbled to himself.

"Hello Vincent, I know you've been busy with the company and I've given you my salary for this month. I can't thank you enough, cousin. I'll be calling again tomorrow to check on things, but I must be going for the next month or two. I have a proposal for you. Text me back when you see this." Alexander wrote and quickly hit send.

His voice was too unsteady to leave a message. It worked out in his favor that Vincent hadn't answered. He didn't want to worry him. He was unsure of himself and his future at the AMI building. Even its name may have to be changed seeing as the AM would likely no longer remain there.

It was his company. He built it from the ground up, but now... He didn't want it. That sounded absurd, too absurd to say aloud, but it had steadily become the truth for him. His large house was empty, his tall building was filled with workers who worked better under Vincent's leadership than his, and his own heart seemed to soften quicker when he was away.

Oh, how he desired to remain away.

Not once did Vincent call him in a panic because the printer wasn't working or because the paperwork reached the ceiling. He seemed to have everything under control and Alexander wondered if maybe, instead of pushing his company on its investors, why not give it to his cousin? He ran it as if he was the founder. It fit him.

Alexander had a new craving. A craving for God and to know Him more deeply. He wanted to know if he would receive the same answer that Arielle did, but it wasn't just that for him, it was more. He realized that he was like the grass and God was like the sun and the rain, and without Him, he would wither and die.

So many moments went by and Alexander just knew... he loved God and God loved Him. In his worst state and amid his greatest fears, God loved him and wanted him for Himself. Alexander could hardly fathom such a love. Now this journey of seeking God had layers. It seemed as though there weren't enough hours in the day. Nothing could quench his desire to know Him.

He wanted to seek Him more than he had ever wanted anything in his many years of life. And he wanted to begin now.

Knock! Knock!

Alexander jumped in shock at the abrupt noise. Placing a hand on his chest and glancing toward the strong mahogany door, he yelled.

"Come in!" He knew it could be only one of three people.

"I hoped you were back," Devin spoke in relief as he found solace on the bench that sat at the bottom of Alexander's bed. Alexander raised a brow, surveying his friend. His demeanor had changed. He was smiling and he didn't seem to think of the very circumstance that brought him there.

"Yes... I'm back. You're in a good mood," he noted. Devin was practically bouncing. He seemed to be trying to contain excitement within his bones and he was failing at that.

"I'm in a great mood! My dad found time to re-visit this continent-" he began.

"Interesting," Alexander mumbled.

"So I was going to his lakehouse." Devin continued as he bounced back and forth like a child.

"Is that why you're so excited?" Alexander asked feeling puzzled. Devin could easily buy three lake houses now if he wished, so why would this garner such a reaction?

"Well I haven't seen him in years and I want his approval. I feel like this time we could actually bond well. I've accomplished more in the business world." Devin explained. Alexander nodded. He wasn't wrong. Devin had made some worthy investments. He had even invested in the AMI tower and he was making great returns.

"Very true. Well, I hope it all goes well for you two," Alexander replied genuinely. He was grateful that at least one of them was able to speak to a parent. Alexander had become an orphan hardly before becoming an adult. He realized that if it weren't for the portraits of his parents, he would have partially forgotten what they looked like by then. He was grateful that Devin did not suffer the same fate.

"I hoped to seek out your help though," Devin announced abruptly.

Alexander who had been lost in thought, one hand brushing his hair and the other sitting on his bed, brought his attention back to Devin. "My help?" He inquired. He couldn't think of why Devin needed him for such an event.

"I don't want to face him alone," Devin said quietly. Alexander had to take a moment to ensure he heard him correctly.

"What do you mean by face him?" Alexander asked. Devin's demeanor slowly shifted back to that of fear and instability. His hands fidgeted in his lap, the phone gently discarded to his side.

"Well... That breakup I endured wasn't the focal point as to why I had fallen into such a rut." He continued, speaking up louder this time.

"Okay..." Alexander slowly raised himself from the couch. "Then what was?"

"The deadline," Devin answered him. He was distressed as he stared off into the distance at nothing in particular.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Alexander answered.

"The deadline to get married. I'm turning 30 soon and my dad's company is supposed to fall into my lap, but there was an agreement that we made, that he'd give me the business if I married well by 25."

"And you're not 25." Alexander's tone was plain. He could only try to guess what his friend was getting to. He couldn't blame him for wanting to fix his strained relationship with his father. Alexander too had a strained relationship with his father when he was alive.

"I am not," Devin sighed. "But he extended it to 30 and he relaxed one of his requirements, so now the woman I choose doesn't have to come from a prestigious background. I think he was becoming desperate due to his age-"

"And so your break up created two problems instead of one," Alexander concluded.

"Exactly," he confirmed.

"But why would you need me there?" Alexander had a decent relationship with Devin's father, but they hadn't spoken in years. He was almost certain that the older gentleman wouldn't think much about Alexander's whereabouts.

"Just as a buffer. Give me time. I'm going to tell him, but maybe he'll be so enthralled by your business that he won't think of my single status as much." Devin explained as if he had been thinking of this for a while.

"I doubt that will work, Devin. You should just tell him as soon as you can." Alexander replied with a sigh. He knew the fear of letting one's father down. He dealt with that in his early teens toward his dad, but delaying it never helped. It never even soothed his mind as the fear built with every passing moment until he knew.

The light in Devin's eyes extinguished as he nodded. "I know. You're right," he mumbled.

"But I won't make you do it alone." Alexander continued.

Devin's head snapped up with widened eyes. "You won't?"

"I have some things to handle on my own, but getting away could help," Alexander responded while coming to a stand, pacing for a moment briefly before approaching his door. "We'll leave in the morning," he announced quietly, his mind elsewhere, but not too far gone as he heard Devin's small response.

"Thank you, brother." It was like a whisper in the night, but Alexander's thoughts were loud. He would leave now if he could.

Morning couldn't have come sooner. Alexander had rested elsewhere on that cold night. The bench in his property hadn't seen a warmer night, he was almost certain of it. The cold couldn't get to the bench like it did his skin.

His eyes were squinted as he took in the bright light coming from over the horizon. Glancing down at his watch, the blaring red numbers practically yelled at him. 6:45 a.m.

He sighed while resting his head back, eyes closing as a reflex. Since his life had slowed down, he enjoyed the little things, like feeling his chest move at the slow pace of his breathing without the sound of a blaring alarm waking him up.

As he sat there, pieces of an image began forming in his mind.

"A dream," he thought.

It was rather short. He sat alone in a cabin, but he wasn't alone. Next to him sat the very person he saw in his first dream from God.

Jesus.

"I know where to go," he spoke quietly, but this time not to himself, but to the One who always heard him. Jesus.

Alexander had packed in what felt like the speed of light. He sent another message to Vincent, one to Susan, one to Pastor Henry, and wrote a note for Greta and Richard that they could read when they woke up. The last person he needed to speak to was Arielle or at least reach out to her mother, Angelina.

He'd be meeting with Henry over Zoom as agreed upon in their backup plan. He was curious about what it all could mean for him. A man of his age must have the utmost wisdom, he thought.

"Ready to go?" Devin's voice called out from the porch. Alexander had been standing there, stuck in his thoughts as he held onto the sturdy strap of his duffle bag.

'Yes, I'm ready," he replied with a deep breath. "Let's go. Let's meet your dad."

Alexander and Devin had reached his father's lakehouse in ample time. Yet Devin's father was already busy as the first day of his arrival included a cocktail party. It was more than Alexander had mentally prepared for, but he was willing to help his friend.

Alexander observed the room quietly. He wasn't too surprised by the group of men that crowded around Devin's father. Mr. Gulling was a commanding figure in the room. His money and reputation called potential business partners to be there at that very moment, but Alexander was beginning to feel bored with the event.

Everyone socialized with much small talk. He was quickly recognized by Gulling's partners and hopeful soon-to-be partners. They stood before him wide-eyed at his arrival.

Alexander understood that small talk came with his position, but it quickly became predictable.

The "How are you enjoying the scenery," or the talks of the weather had been on repeat at least ten times since he had gotten there.

"Alexander Marquee! The Alexander Marquee! It is amazing to see you here. Are you enjoying the lovely scenery?" Another voice called to his attention.'

"Ah yes, the scenery is delightful to say the very least. It is nice to meet you...?" He paused waiting for the gentleman to state his name.

"Sebastian Inglewood."

"Oh yes, I believe I've heard of you before," Alexander replied with a brief smile.

"Inglewood. I recognize that name." Alexander continued examining the gentleman's face in hopes of recalling what he was associated with.

"Likely so, I've worked with a few of the men you know, Mr. Gulling being one of them." He replied.

"Oh really? I don't know if I've met many of his business partners." Alexander said.

"Yes, I get that. You know what they say..." he whispered to Alexander. Alexander smiled and took a sip of his water. He did not know what they said, but he had no reason to divulge neither here nor there on the topic. He was merely there to be a supportive friend for Devin.

"Well, I must be going, but it's nice meeting you, Mr. Inglewood," Alexander replied with a smile as he walked away from the older gentleman and made his way toward the Gulling men.

"Likewise, Alexander," Inglewood spoke calmly behind him. "When you've returned home, give Lorenzo my hello and my condolences. It must be horrible losing a child so young. I didn't know, but to be fair, it was seven years ago."

Alexander froze in his tracks.

"Excuse me?" He began to question as he turned to face him, but Inglewood was gone into the sea of prestigious businessmen. He shook his head. Inglewood was not a common man. Who shared such details with a stranger? But it stuck with him. Lorenzo was a father himself once before. Who would have known?

The evening was a success. Alexander was able to get Devin's father laughing and even commending Devin on some of his achievements. He accepted Devin's bad news as if it was a brief pesky fly, but gave it no further attention. It was rather surprising, but it made Alexander hopeful for their relationship.

"Thank you, Alex," Devin said as he walked over to Alexander.

"No need to thank me. It's good that you two have been getting along all evening." He commented.

"Yes, but that's because you made him laugh like a madman," Devin replied with a grin.

"No, no. You made him laugh too. I think you may have been overthinking." Alexander chuckled.

"I still say you're wrong, but I'm just happy that you came along. It helped more than you realize. I know this isn't the most ideal place to be as a businessman on a hiatus such as yourself." He replied sheepishly, gently scratching the back of his neck.

"Well, I'm okay. But I should be going." Alexander answered him.

"I know. I just-" Devin paused, searching for the right words. "I view you as a brother to me. This isn't the first time you've helped me and I'm just full of gratitude."

"You're like a brother to me too. You don't need to thank me." Alexander smiled. Leaning forward, he gently set his glass on the table. "I'm going to be heading to the cabin. My cell phone will be turned on minimalist mode and 'Do Not Disturb' so only reach out in the case of emergency, please." Alexander explained with a gentle grin. He hoped that it didn't come off as rude or uncaring.

"Ay ay captain!" Devin yelled with his hand against his forehead as a soldier.

"You're an interesting man," Alexander mumbled with a chuckle. "I'll see you," he mumbled.

"That you will. I'll come by the day before we leave. Does that sound good?" Devin asked.

"Sounds great. Alright man. Talk to you then." Alexander replied. He grabbed his phone and checked for his keys and wallet before getting up to leave.

Devin nodded in reply and Alexander made his way through the sea of wealthy men and out the door, beginning the journey he so craved. He sighed in contentment as he entered the small rental car. Beside him in the passenger seat was his large duffel bag, filled with everything he'd need for the next few weeks.

He felt excited. He just knew that something would change.

Alexander had embarked on this journey alone, leaving behind all of the things he had ever worked for.

The crisp cool air gently tossed his hair as it blew. He walked in between the trees with only a few streams of light directly hitting him as he drew near the small home that belonged to Devin's family. It was a rental property of there's but as business bloomed in the city, it fell hastily in their countryside.

He pushed forward, thinking of the gratitude he felt for their kindness for letting him stay there for a few weeks.

Learning what Arielle had seen and the dream he received before truly knowing himself, seemed too good to be true, but he decided not to allow the pessimism he once had to creep back in.

He also knew that he had to stay out there and seek God to know Him first before seeking Him for an answer about Arielle. His natural biases did exist and he needed this time away to squash them. He just hoped that if Arielle happened to be the woman God had intended for him, all else could be resolved too.

As Alexander neared the property, his phone beeped, alerting him of the guards who swapped their shifts. That was one of the few settings he contemplated leaving on, but as he neared the cabin, he decided to place that on 'Do Not Disturb' as well. He knew that Vincent was watching it too and that any red flags would be reported to him.

Vincent had been kind enough to be sure that they remained on duty and he would have to trust that God was more capable of keeping Arielle safe than all of his men combined.

The house was rather small, similar to Arielle's home size, but it was perfect for a quaint getaway. Alexander admired the architecture of the home. It had a fairly large wrap-around porch, making up for the interior's lack of square feet.

"And so it begins," he whispered while reaching toward the near rusted handle. He glanced behind him before smiling. He usually didn't like the quiet, it reminded him of those he loved and lost, but this was different. He was here to be in the quiet with God and he just knew that something was going to happen.

As he grew closer to the house, he realized that it seemed to be a little more than one thousand square feet, yet he could see that it had ample room for a family of four.

He walked inside with his duffel bag and what was on his person, yet he felt invigorated. Something felt so nice about having what he needed versus more than he once dreamed of. It felt nice to just have it all in that bag with him. Something about the simplicity of it all made him feel at ease. Calm.

Upon entry, he locked the door. It was sturdy, much like his own back home, but a much more realistic size. Grabbing his phone, he double-checked the settings, being sure that both the minimalist mode and the 'Do Not Disturb' options were up and functioning correctly.

He only made a few exceptions. Devin, Vincent, Pastor Henry, Arielle, and Angelina. Greta and Richard already knew to call through Vincent or Devin's phone if there were to be any emergency. The only emergency he could imagine her having is in defending herself against Richard's silly jokes and playful pranks.

Devin was kind enough to remind Arielle of Alexander's plan of falling off the map, needing very little interruptions. It seemed abrupt, but Alexander couldn't help but find it necessary.

"And so it begins," he spoke aloud.

He quickly decided that tonight would be a simple start to his seeking. With a brief checking of the doors, tidying up the guest bedroom he'd be staying in, and reorganizing his clothes in the bag, he felt at home.

It seemed odd, but Alexander enjoyed having all of his things in such a small bag versus the large drawers and the full wardrobes at home. It was a comfort to know that he didn't require much as long as he had God and the peace that He brought.

With a sigh of contentment, Alexander pulled his Bible out of the duffel bag, Alexander stayed up late that night. He decided to read a book in the New Testament that he hadn't read before and ended his night with prayer.

"Father, I don't know exactly how to do all of this, but I need clarity. I desire to seek you with my whole heart and so Lord, I dedicate these next weeks to you. Please reveal more of Yourself to me, please help me to grow in my walk with You, and please reveal who Arielle is to me and what I should do. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen." He prayed quietly with his hands clasped before him.

After an hour and a half passed him by, he neatly placed his things on the nightstand and rested his head against the cool pillow. For a moment, an image of Arielle flashed before his mind, but Alexander shook his head.

If he thought of Arielle too much, then every answer he would hear would be yelling at him to pursue her and prepare a proposal, but he knew that he needed to push her from his mind for now and focus on God and what He had for him. Asking and praying about her was one thing, but daydreaming about her was another.

"Father, I don't know if this is strange," Alexander whispered as the flickering of the small candle on the other nightstand danced before his eyes.

"But I feel like I need to forget her to know you. Just for now. It almost seems impossible..." Alexander whispered. "But I just need to push aside these romantic feelings so that I can hear you without the bias of my own heart trying to choose. Please help me to hear you, Father. I need to hear you." He whispered.

Alexander's voice grew softer as he prayed. "In Jesus' name, I pray... Amen."

His eyes drifted close and gentle snores filled the room.