Chapter 19: Fine Without Him

A/N: Playlist: Found by Zach Webb (Play during Alexander's Part)

Arielle found herself praying longer than usual. Between her hardly rested mother, heartbroken friend, and overworked boss, she had a lot to pray for. Their safety remained a high priority. It was hard to even envision the life she had before she knew Alexander and the danger that came with knowing him.

Sometimes she would glance out her window, and for a moment, she'd see a car that looked out of place in their small, quiet part of the city. It's as though the trees and mountain view exposed them because of how strange it looked there, but she didn't focus on it too much. Her plan was simple, pray a lot and be wise.

The door handles and window sills were constantly covered by her fingerprints that skimmed them daily from her usual checks. Once, twice, and three times before bed. Never wanting to believe that she locked every entry way if she truly hadn't. Especially when the home occupied more than just herself.

Learning back in her chair, Arielle pulled her hair from her face into a high bun. It was sloppy at best, but the summer heat had only grown as the months went on and the sweat from her hairline was unforgiving. Keeping their bills low meant having only a weak fan to regulate her body temperature, but it was worth every penny saved.

Saved for something better for her mom and who ever else the Lord would place in her path to help.

Arielle scribbled the end of her letter to God, thanking Him for the many answered prayers, including Julia's healing.

Julia had cried less as time went on. Her eyes were no longer red and blotchy each day, retelling the tale of her tears, and her smile grew as the days went on.

The memories of the boy next door were soon forgotten and she was pleased to witness it. She didn't want her best friend's view of love to be tainted because of a love once passed.

Buzz. Her phone vibrated, pulling her from her thoughts.

She gently turned her head to the side, not wanting to move much, in case her body would be threatened her with more perspiration. Still leaning on the back of her chair, she glanced over at the brightened screen. Alexander's name was illuminated with a small image of him smiling back at her. An image she found on the company's website. It was very professional, but anyone looking would realize that his smile didn't reach his eyes.

"Susan requested that I tell you that she misses you and your mother dearly. She hopes to see you come by the office." He wrote.

"Hm," Arielle hummed. Susan's number had been saved early on. She wondered if her phone number had changed or been shut off.

"Tell her we will, Lord willing. :)" Arielle replied quickly, before plopping the phone back onto her desk.

That was another thing that she found herself smiling about more recently. Alexander spoke with her more casually, but never in a way that made her feel overwhelmed. She could see that they were beginning to form a friendship, even if it was mostly from afar.

"It's best that way," she whispered mostly to herself, but also thinking and talking to God. Being too close too soon, before God's timing, wouldn't be for the best. She would trust that He would help Alexander with all of his troubles, including his salvation.

She knew that in God's hands, a heart could turn from stone to softened and completely made new. God worked miracles.

She sighed and casually scrolled past his contact again. Maybe she would have a true smile, smiling back at her in the future.

Lifting her head to the ceiling, she began another, short prayer, "God please save him. In more ways that one." She spoke softly and found herself continuing.

For fifteen or so minutes, she found herself praying again for his salvation; for Godly sorrow to enter his heart that leads to true, genuine repentance, for his safety and for God to guide him in every area of his life.

She prayed for God to reveal to him what He had revealed to her. She thought that it would likely come up one day, but she wanted him to seek God diligently on it too. Marriage was a serious, lifelong commitment and she fasted and prayed for an answer. She hoped that he would do the same thing when the time came.

It seemed as though he was on the cusp of it.

Knock. Knock.

"Come in!" Arielle called out as she slowly stood from her chair.

"Sorry, I hope I'm not interrupting." Jules replied sheepishly.

Arielle chuckled and waved her hand. "Not at all. I'm all finished up in here if you need the room. I was going to run to the church and help the ladies prepare for tomorrow's event." Arielle smiled as she turned to the closet to grab her plain yellow flats that went along with her dress.

"Oh! I forgot all about that. Did you need a helping hand?" Julia asked, bright-eyed.

"Hm, I know they'd appreciate it if you're free." She replied thoughtfully. She thought to the ladies, mostly the elder ladies at the church. They planned events like this as often as they could, to pull the community together. They wanted the youth to have the support that they also had in their youth.

"I definitely am. I could use a distraction." She replied quietly as she began to mindlessly play with the old antiques on Arielle's dresser.

Arielle studied her friend. Julia didn't seem sad, but something was clearly on her mind if the way she stopped to play with her fingers was any indication. "Is everything okay?" She asked slowly while walking over.

Julia nodded and took a deep breath. "Well, I think it is. I know I shouldn't allow myself to think about my ex, at all, but he posted something online and tagged a mutual friend." She spoke quietly. "So... I saw it."

"Oh?" Arielle was surprised. She didn't realize that they had many mutual friends seeing as they hung out in two completely different circles when they weren't together, but Julia was always more social than she was. "I guess it's not too surprising that you two would have a mutual friend here and there. How do you know this one?"

"She was in my Art class. And she's dating him." She announced rather quickly. It was as if she ripped off a band-aid. Arielle's eyes widened and her mouth opened and closed in her surprise.

"Oh." Arielle replied, but in a tone that exposed her concern. She quickly placed down her purse and reached out to hug Julia, but Julia backed away while shaking her head.

"No no, I'm okay. I don't care anymore." She replied with a small smile.

"You can tell me if you're not. I'm here for you." She reassured.

Julia sighed. "I know. I actually don't feel horrible. It was just strange seeing him again, but really I'm fine."

"Okay... well?" Arielle asked with her arms wide.

"Well?" Julia copied.

"How about that hug?" Arielle asked with a large smile.

Julia shook her head, but unexpectedly leapt in her best friend's arms, causing the pair to tumble to the ground in a fit of laughter.

"What in the world!" Arielle screamed through her laughs.

Within what seemed like the longest fifteen seconds of their life, they finally relaxed enough to stand successfully.

"You're always so hyper," Arielle laughed. "Almost too hyper." She playfully pointed out.

"No, you're just too relaxed." She rebuttaled causing Arielle to simply shake her head in disbelief, but the smile stretched on their faces only exposed the happiness in their hearts.

The two ladies grabbed their things and went on their way to their home church, finding joyful subjects to talk about on the way. Arielle felt grateful, knowing that God answered her prayers about healing Julia's heart. Julia would be more than okay.

Alexander had remained out of work longer than he planned, but once he had healed up, he rushed to get back into the office. It was odd preparing to go there, knowing that Arielle still couldn't return until the threat had been dealt with. But since the attack, Lorenzo remained quiet, nearly invisible.

But Alexander had so many responsibilities that he couldn't keep his focus on Lorenzo for once. He had an entire company that would likely cave to the ground if he didn't return soon.

Or so he thought.

It was another early morning and he was happily surprised at how well the AMI tower continued going on like an engine while he was away. He smoothed down the hair on his chin. As if it would change the state of the stubble that was already peaking through.

A few polite smiles were thrown his way as he advanced through the lobby, but none of them remained on him too long. The main receptionists seemed to whisper something amongst themselves as he walked past. With furrowed brows, he chose to ignore them, not too focused on the company gossip. For now. He wondered if a meeting should be had.

It was strange. People didn't move out of his way as quickly, while before his hiatus they would scatter at his arrival. Alexander's stomach churned uncomfortably as the combining scents of cheap and expensive perfume and cologne were undoubtably making him nauseous. Even the stares he received weren't filled with the same fear or respect, but just plain, followed by whispers.

His employees seemed uninterested by him. Bored even.

He shook his head, deciding not to dwell on it any longer, but continued toward the elevator.

Four employees stood by it, speaking amongst themselves, but abruptly came to a stop as his looming figure formed a shadow over one of them. The blond lady's smile fell for a moment, before a manufactured one took its place.

"Mr. Marquee, you're back." She greeted with faux excitement in her tone. She seemed to do little to hide her displeasure at his return.

He nodded. "I am. I hope you haven't been too much of a distraction for my cousin, Meghan." Alexander replied lightly, but the smile on his face exposed that he had only been joking. He recalled the two first swapping glances, or best described as starstruck gazes as if no one else stood in the room.

He hadn't even witnessed Meghan stare at him like that even though she surely went through her phase of obsession over the CEO.

"O-of course not," Meghan replied quickly. She fought to smile back casually, but the bright red hue that covered her cheeks revealed her obvious infatuation with his cousin. The workers she spoke with, kept their gaze low, but could be heard chuckling.

With a ding, their elevator arrived and Alexander walked in first, but it was not long before he realized that the others hadn't taken a step towrd the empty metal box as he had. He would be lying if he said it didn't make him feel a bit awkward since they were just standing there staring at him. It felt like, for the first time, he realized how his employees viewed him.

It was as though he saw himself through the lense of their eyes. Some had become indifferent to the seemingly cold and detached CEO while others remained intimidated, likely drawing their own conclusions about his character.

Alexander gulped and adjusted his briefcase. He looked back up at them and then at the glowing numbers of the many floors that were filled with employees just like them. Disliking him, being indifferent of him, or fearing him. He hoped for the feelings of discomfort to subside, but when they didn't he spoke up.

"Anyone care to hop in?" He asked with a small boyish smile, hoping that it would put them at ease. He propped the elevator door open with his arm, but all four people quickly shook their head no.

Alexander pulled in his lips, but nodded and forced a smile. Over the years, he had somehow made this work environment and although it made him feel unpleasant, he knew that this was his doing. He sat at the highest floor, rarely regarding those on it's lower levels. Being alone was something he had grown accustomed to, but for once he realized that this didn't just affect him.

With a slight nod, he respected their wishes and made his way to the highest and loneliest floor.

As though a century had past, Alexander tapped his foot as the elevator door opened. With a relieved sigh he made his way off of it.

Susan sat at her desk, as though she hadn't moved since he left. Her glasses sat at the tip of her nose and she typed away, quickly but quietly.

She glanced up and smiled largely as he exited the elevator. Alexander's heart warmed as it saw the first genuine smile to greet him.

"Welcome back, Alexander. Your cousin is in your office." She instructed while waving her hand in its genuine direction.

"Thank you, Susan. I hope he hasn't kept you too busy." Alexander responded in passing.

"Not at all," She replied in a chipper tone before turning herself back toward her computer screen.

Adjusting his briefcase, Aexander took a deep breath. This is what he wanted, he thought to himself.

To get back to work and to remain as one of the top CEOs in all of the U.S. That's what he wanted... at one point in his life.

He walked over to the tall office doors. They were as a wall before him. That's why he liked them. They were intimidating and turned away more people than he realized. So many friendships and potential business partners always seemed to meet the stoic Alexander or the focused Alexander, but never the lonely Alexander, nor the childlike Alexander- and never the broken Alexander.

It was as if he shoved those versions of himself into a dark corner in his mind where no one, not of even himself, coud reach them, but they would make themselves known- he was making himself known.

Opening his office door, he was greeted with the sight of Vincent leaning back in his seat with what appeared to be a... Newspaper in his hands?

"Mhm," Alexander cleared his throat.

"I see you." Vincent replied with a grin and swiveled in his chair, to face the confused man. "Welcome to my lair." He announced with wide arms and a wide grin to match.

"You mean my office?" Alexander replied swiftly as he stiffly plopped his briefcase onto the desk.

"Well if I meant that, I would have said that." Vincent's eyes unveiled his amusement, much like Alexander's only moments before. Before it was whisked away by his own realization.

Alexander's eyes narrowed to slits.

"Oh really? Doesn't look like your lair. It's missing something, or rather someone." Alexander's assessed with faux curiosity.

"Now whatever are talking about?" Vincent pushed, but the small still smile remained on his face. Clearly deciding that he would rather go along with the joke than not.

"Oh nothing really. I'm just surprised that Meghan has somehow not already entered the office. She has visited more. Hasn't she?" Alexander asked, scoping out how quickly his cousin's posture changed, stiffened.

Now it was Vincent's turn to narrow his eyes, causing Alexander to chuckle.

"Don't worry cousin," Alexander began. "I know you're one to court a lady properly. She looks like a blushing bride already."

Vincent's eyes widened as his own cheeks betrayed him, but before he could give a rebuttal, the phone began to rang.

"We're not done here." Vincent responded before answering the phone.

"Oh, but we are." Alexander laughed as he exited the office. Making his way to the elevator, Alexander planned to grab food for himself after having skipped breakfast. Although he could have called an employee, he thought doing it on his own would be good for him. It seemed that Vincent had everything under control. He thought about keeping him around longer if he were willing to stay.

"Leaving Already?" Susan called out to him.

"Yes... Yes. But before I go, how has Vincent been keeping up with things here? From your perspective." Alexander asked genuinely. Susan's demeanor seemed to change near immediately though, causing him great confusion.

"Well boss, I don't want to say anything that may come off as an insulting." The secretary spoke carefully. She studied him above her glasses.

"Oh, I doubt he would take any constructive criticism personally." Alexander assured her.

"I don't mean him, I mean I don't want you to feel insulted." She corrected.

Alexander was taken aback by her response. Insulted? He wondered. Why would he feel insulted?

"Oh, well you have no need to worry. I won't feel insulted."

"Only if you're sure-"

"I am," he answered quickly, now feeling a bit uncomfortable. Maybe Susan was right. Maybe he would feel insulted. He turned away, closing his eyes for a moment, now wishing he hadn't asked.

"He's been able to keep up with everything rather well. Actually so well that he's been able to add more investors to AMI and doubled our profits within the first week while you were away."

"Oh-" Alexander replied in shock. That was incredibly impressive. He wondered what he should get Vincent as a "thank you" for all of his hard work, but before his mind could wonder to possible gift ideas, Susan continued.

"And all without even looking stressed." She went on.

"Really-" But soon he was cut off.

"He's even found time to be social with the workers on other floors, listening to their complaints and requests-" She listed.

"I get it! I get it. He's great." Alexander replied with his hands placed before him, signaling her to stop. Susan could see that he looked rather stressed and she pulled in her lips and nodded quietly.

"I'm sorry. That's why I was worried about your question." She spoke quietly.

"Sue, I'm sorry. You were right. I shouldn't have asked." Alexander replied.

"Did I upset you?" She asked.

"No, no- I-" he took a moment to breathe. "I upset myself. But please forgive me for raising my voice and for speaking to you in that way. I agree that he has picked up things rather quickly, but that's good."

"It is? Isn't he leaving this week since you're returned?" She asked, seeming concerned.

"Maybe not." Alexander replied before turning away.

"Wait, before you go, tell Arielle I said hello and I dearly miss her and her mother. My phone shattered last week, so I don't have their contacts saved anymore."

Barely looking back, Alexander nodded. "Of course."

Alexander did the unthinkable, or at least the unthinkable for him just a few short weeks ago. He left work early. He realized that going to the cafeteria would only welcome more stares and he admittedly wasn't prepared for that. It almost felt as though he was sinking and he couldn't handle it any longer.

He drove around and around, feeling lost and without comfort. His circular driving spanned for nearly a half hour before he found himself at a park, the kind without a playground, but with small slopes of hills with benches strewn throughout.

Those were the parks he thought were odd when he was a child, but as an adult, he enjoyed having the open land with benches free from much else. It allowed his mind to focus and think without the sounds of various families pulling him away from his thoughts.

He returned to work, thinking that it would be falling apart without him, that people would be glad to see him return, but instead everything ran smoothly under his c0usin's care and people seemed to love him being there, while for the first time, the coldness he emanated before was reflected back toward him.

And although it may have made him sound like a feeble excuse of a man, he couldn't take it. At least not right then.

Before his life was filled with endless meetings and paperwork, but now- now it was filled with questions that couldn't be answered by his secretary or his security. He couldn't request a file be looked over again to discover the depths of the truth he needed.

He relied solely on a God he knew was real, but struggled to fit in his mind and he felt frustrated.

How was it so easy for Arielle? Or her mother? Or her friend? How and why? He wondered.

Could he do anything right? Alexander thought bitterly about himself. He couldn't remain like this. It was eating him inside.

Leaning his head back, he gripped the wheel. He felt horribly alone. It was as if there was a crater sized hole in his chest, but there was nothing to fill it. And although his mind wandered to Arielle, he just knew that she wouldn't be enough to fill the hole in his chest, no human would.

He chuckled sorrowfully to himself. Just weeks ago, he thought she would be the sunshine to his life where there were only dull grey skies- and to an extent, she brought a light into his life, but he now knew that that light was from a source greater than herself and he needed to go to the source. His resolve was weakening. The wall he had to protect himself from his life's problems was crashing down.

He needed God.

"Please help me," he cried out quietly, eyes facing the sky. Tears, tears he wasn't aware of moments before, flowed down his cheeks and for once, the broken Alexander was at the forefront and he couldn't push him back because it was him. It wasn't just a part of him, it was always him, hidden and covered. Neglected and seemingly forgotten. Until now.

But before he could speak more, his eyelids became heavy as the thought replayed in his mind that he needed God and he needed answers of some sort, but soon enough his eyes grew too heavy to look beyond at the horizon and he fell asleep where he sat.

The last thought in his mind replaying, that those at the AMI tower were doing absolutely fine without him and maybe he should allow them to flourish without him.