Emotions

RAINEY

Tate walks up to me as I’m stuffing my locker with textbooks. One hand is buried in his pocket, the other raking through his hair.

“Hey, Rain.” His voice is low, hesitant. I glance at him, curious. He looks jittery, like he did that night he drank the spiked booze.

I squint at him. “You okay? You look off.”

“I, uh, heard about the thing with Jace,” he starts. “Saw the video too.”

~Oh.~

I know the whole school is buzzing about it. I’ve been getting curious looks all day. It’s annoying, but I’m used to being under the microscope.

“I’m sorry,” he adds.

I frown at him as I shove my math book into my locker. “Why are you apologizing? Sure, Jace is your friend, but you didn’t have anything to do with what he did.”

“Actually, I did.”

I tilt my head, closing my locker and turning to face him. “How so?”

“Well, I…” He stops, rubbing his face. “I knew Olivia told Jace to mess with you, and I didn’t say anything.”

I blink at him, and he scratches his temple, looking guilty.

“I should’ve told you, and I’m sorry. It’s just… it’s not easy to rat out Jace. My dad works with his dad, so it’s complicated.

“If Jace’s dad stops doing business with my dad, we could go bankrupt.

“His dad owns a lot of shares in my dad’s company, and even though I can’t stand him, I can’t do anything about it. It’s tough having to deal with someone just because your…”

His voice fades as my eyes drift past him to Ansel. He’s heading for the exit. His knuckles are bruised. Is he going to ride his bike today?

“Rain, are you even listening?” Tate frowns, looking over his shoulder to see what’s caught my attention.

“Uh, yeah… It’s fine, Tate. Really. Let’s just forget about it, okay? I gotta go.” I rush off, leaving him to stare after me.

“I was going to ask if you wanted to hang out later.”

I turn back to him as I walk away. “I can’t. I have a ton of homework. See you around.”

He nods, looking disappointed, as I turn and hurry down the hall.

I step outside, scanning the parking lot for Ansel. I spot him at the gate, unlocking his bike. Good, he hasn’t left yet.

I sigh in relief. The wind is strong, whipping my hair around my face as I walk over to him.

He looks up, and his face lights up when he sees me. I smile, squinting against the setting sun as I stop in front of him.

“Riding home?”

“Yeah. Tim said the café is closed tonight, so I’m heading straight home.” He looks down at my feet. “How’s your ankle?”

I shrug, looking down at my boots. “A bit better, I guess. How’s your hand?”

“It’s okay.” He grips the handlebars, and the sight of the bruises on his knuckles makes my heart ache.

“You know, I drove today. Want a ride home?” I suggest, pushing my hair out of my eyes.

Ansel hesitates. “I don’t want to put you out. Your place is before mine.”

“It’s no trouble. I don’t have anything else to do tonight.”

I told Tate I had a ton of homework, but I don’t. And even if I did, I’d always make time for Ansel.

He smiles. “Okay, thanks.”

***

We reach his house in no time, the gravel crunching under the tires.

His neighborhood is always bustling. Kids are playing, people are hanging out on their porches. It’s lively.

“Thanks.” He grins at me as he unbuckles his seatbelt. “See you at school tomorrow.”

I nod as he opens the door and gets out, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. He opens the trunk to get his bike, then comes back to the window.

“Drive safe.”

“Thanks.”

I watch him as he walks his bike toward his house. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

Being with Ansel is the best part of my day, and when it’s time to say goodbye, it always leaves a lump in my throat.

~Damn, Rain. You’ve got it bad.~

As if he can read my mind, he stops and turns around. He leaves his bike at the gate and comes back to the car.

I sit up straight, trying to act casual so he doesn’t know I was just moping about him leaving.

He leans on the window, then jerks a thumb over his shoulder. “Want to come in?”

I nod, maybe a bit too quickly, because Ansel chuckles. “Come on.”

I smile, unbuckling my seatbelt.

***

We walk into his house. Ansel drops his bag on the couch while I look around the cozy living room.

His house is comfortable and welcoming. I always feel happy when I’m here. The room is quiet and peaceful, since it’s just us.

Ansel’s back is to me as he loosens his tie and pulls it off.

“Alex usually gets home around five. My twin brothers sometimes get home at six, or later, if they’re hanging out with friends.”

“Okay…” I can’t tear my eyes away as he starts to unbutton his dress shirt. He peels it off, revealing his muscular arms in a white tank top.

I watch the muscles in his back ripple as he bends to remove his shoes. He’s built well. He starts to turn around, and I quickly look away.

“I got you something.” He grins.

Curiosity piqued, I watch him head to the kitchen. He’s back in a flash, a tub of ice cream in his hand. My face lights up as I glance from the tub to him.

“I picked this up for you, since you didn’t get to finish yours the other night.” He hands it to me. I’m speechless for a moment before I take it from him.

“I wasn’t sure about the flavor, so I asked the lady at the ice cream shop. I remembered it was green with some chocolate stuff. Tasted a lot like mint.”

I check the label—it’s mint chocolate chip. He got it right.

My eyes well up with gratitude. It’s silly to get emotional over ice cream, right? But it’s not about the ice cream; it’s the thought, the fact that he went out of his way for me.

My heart is so full of gratitude it’s hard to contain. I want to hug him, to show him how much his thoughtfulness means to me.

I set the tub on the table next to me, and Ansel scratches his neck. “Is it the wrong flavor? If it is, I can get you another one when—”

I throw myself into his arms, pulling him into a hug. The force of it knocks us both onto his living room couch, and I hold him tight.

I’m so overwhelmed with gratitude that I’m not thinking straight. Ansel is taken by surprise as he lies flat, my body pressing his into the soft cushions of his couch.

I nestle my head against his chest, my eyes squeezed shut against the tears of appreciation.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

My ear is against his chest, and I can hear the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, feel his chest rise and fall with each breath.

“You’re welcome, Rain,” he murmurs.

Hearing his voice brings me back to reality, and I suddenly realize how forward I’m being.

My body is pressed against his, my legs trapped between his. Anyone walking in would easily misunderstand the situation. It looks very intimate.

I lift my head to look at him. We’re silent as I meet his gaze. Up close, his eyes are like the ocean, full of depth and currents.

The connection we shared in my room that night is back, but ten times stronger. I can feel the tension, and I’m sure he can too.

I swallow hard, trying to move away, but he grabs my arm, pulling me back on top of him.

My chest collides with his, our faces just inches apart. I open my mouth to say something, but he presses his forehead to mine, his breath coming in short gasps.

“Don’t pull away…please.”

My heart races, my breath catching in my throat as his nose brushes against mine.

Our lips are dangerously close, and I close my eyes, lost in the tension and intensity between us.

It’s as if the world has disappeared, leaving just the two of us. The only sounds are our ragged breathing and my heartbeat pounding in my ears.

In this moment, I realize my feelings for him have grown immensely.

“I like when we’re this close,” he murmurs, his breath warm against my lips, sending a shiver down my spine.

I swallow hard, struggling to find words. “Me too.”

The front door suddenly swings open, and I pull away from Ansel quickly. But Alex and the twins have already seen us and freeze in their tracks.

“What were you two doing?” Alex looks amused, grinning as he looks from me to Ansel.

Aiden chuckles, stepping past his brother. “What did it look like to you?”

Arden grins. “Did we interrupt something?” He waggles his eyebrows, and I shake my head quickly, feeling my cheeks heat up with embarrassment.

“No, no, we weren’t doing anything.”

“Why are you guys home so early, Aiden?” Ansel sits up. He looks calm, despite his brothers walking in on us…doing whatever that was.

“Well, we decided to skip our last class,” Aiden replies, tossing his backpack on the floor.

“Actually, he’s trying to avoid this girl at school, who he slept with but hasn’t answered her texts in a week,” Arden adds. “Being the total player he is.”

Aiden glares at him while Alex squints at Ansel’s hand. “What happened to your hand?”

Ansel shrugs. “It’s nothing. I got in a fight today.”

I look down, feeling guilty. He did that for me.

Aiden, about to light a cigarette, squints. “With who?”

“Some guy at school.”

“Should we pay him a visit?” Arden narrows his eyes. “Because no one messes with my brother.”

“No, it’s okay. I think he’s had enough,” Ansel chuckles. “I have to write a two-page essay on why fighting in school is bad.”

“I’ll do that for you,” Alex offers. “I’ve written plenty of those. I’m an expert. Plus your hand is bruised. So leave it to me.”

Ansel nods. “Thanks.”

I smile a little. Ansel has a great relationship with his brothers. I admire their bond. It’s something I may never have.

If my mom found out I got in a fight at school, she’d probably side with the other guy.

I've got my ice cream and we're all settling in to watch a movie while Alex tackles Ansel’s essay. The movie is an action thriller, usually my go-to, but I can't seem to get into it tonight.

Instead, I find myself watching Ansel, who’s laughing along with his brothers at a scene in the film.

My mind keeps drifting back to what happened earlier when we were alone. The tension between us was palpable, and I felt so connected to him in that moment.

I can't help but wonder what might have happened if his brothers hadn’t—

Suddenly, he catches me staring. My cheeks flush and I quickly look back at the movie, missing the genuine smile that spreads across his face.

The door swings open and everyone turns to see Alaric sauntering in. Sam is right behind him, and she waves at me with a huge grin as soon as she spots me. “Rainey!”

I return her smile. “Hey.”

“How come you’re home from work so early?” Aiden asks as Alaric flops down on the couch across from us.

Alex is on the floor, scratching his head as he struggles with the essay. So much for being the expert.

“Well, I punched a customer in the face,” Alaric admits with a sigh. “So Eddie suggested I leave early, blow off some steam.”

“Ansel got into a fight at school today,” Arden chimes in. Alaric looks at Ansel, his brow furrowed. “With who?”

“The same guy that was at Club Naked the other night,” Ansel replies.

“That asshole. He had it coming. But damn, Ansel, I hate when you fight. I’d rather you leave the dirty work to me,” Alaric says, frowning in his chair.

“Next time, give me a call, okay?”

Ansel just nods, but I get the feeling he wouldn’t actually call Alaric if something like this happened again. He seems to prefer handling his own battles.

Sam sits next to Alex, peering at the paper he’s working on. “What are you doing?”

“It’s Ansel’s essay,” he answers, “on why it’s important not to fight in schools.

“Honestly, this is so pointless. Violence should be in schools. If a guy messes with you, he deserves a punch in the face. How else will he learn to back off?”

Alaric is now tapping away on his phone, a smirk playing on his lips as he bounces his legs.

Sam notices his amusement and gets up, walking over to him. She perches on the arm of the sofa he’s sitting on.

“Who are you texting?”

Her question draws everyone’s attention, and my heart skips a beat for her.

Alaric sighs. “My boss.”

But Sam isn’t buying it this time. “Your boss? You’re smiling, Alaric. You’re not texting your boss.”

“So I can’t smile while texting my boss?” Alaric shoots back. “Don’t be ridiculous, babe.”

“Ridiculous? I’m being ridiculous? You’re being shady, Ric. Who are you texting?”

“Babe, stop.”

“Let me see your phone.”

The boys all look uncomfortable, including Ansel, who looks sympathetic. I can’t bear to watch the scene unfold, so I lower my gaze.

She reaches for his phone, but he pulls it out of her reach, a crease forming between his brows.

“Sam, will you stop? You don’t trust me at all, do you?”

“No. No, I don’t. Because you won’t show me your phone. If you’re texting Eddie, then show me, Alaric.”

Alaric starts to put the phone in his back pocket, but Sam grabs his wrist. “Let me see.”

“Sam,” he warns, “stop acting crazy, okay?”

Her eyes fill with tears as she slowly lets go of him, her gaze falling to the floor.

Alaric thinks she’s given up and tries to put the phone in his pocket, but she quickly snatches it from his hand and steps back.

“Shit,” Aiden mutters.

Alaric sighs, leaning his head back and covering his face with his hand.

She looks at the screen, and I watch as her expression crumbles. Ansel sighs next to me, and Alex lowers his head.

“~I miss you, baby~?” She reads the words out loud, looking at Alaric with wide, tear-filled eyes.

Alaric takes a deep breath and stands up, moving toward her. “Sam.”

“Who’s Bee?” Her lower lip trembles, and I can see her hands shaking as she clutches the phone.

“Babe. Come here.” He reaches out to her, but she pulls away, shaking her head.

“Tell me who Bee is, Alaric!”

“I can’t watch this.” Arden stands up and quickly disappears into the kitchen.

“She’s…she’s just some girl,” Alaric finally says. “She’s nobody, okay? I love you, Sam. I love you so much. Please believe that.”

She scoffs, her eyes red and swollen. “You don’t love me. You’re a jerk. I hate you!”

Alaric’s expression softens at her words, the hurt clear on his face. He seems to genuinely love her, but I can’t understand why he would cheat on her.

“You don’t mean that,” he says softly, more to himself than to her.

“Yes, I do!” She screams, shoving him in the chest. His muscular body barely moves from the impact, so she tries again, pounding his torso with both fists.

“I can’t stand you!” she yells. “You’re such a jerk! I wish we’d never crossed paths! I despise you…”

Alaric reaches out, capturing her hands and drawing her into his embrace. His arms encircle her trembling form.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Sam…”

He kisses the top of her head. She sobs quietly, trying to keep up her attack on his chest, but his strong arms hold her tight.

“Why did you do this to me?” she whimpers.

Alaric sighs, his eyes closing. “I can’t explain it right now, but I had to, sweetheart. I had to. Just remember, despite everything, I love you, and—”

Sam musters the strength to break free from his hold. His words aren’t what she wants to hear. “You had to? Seriously? That’s your excuse? You’re so full of crap, Ric!”

He sighs heavily, dragging a hand over his face. “You wouldn’t get it, Sam.”

“I wouldn’t get it?” She shakes her head. “What’s there to get? You cheated on me, Alaric.”

Ansel rises as Sam buries her face in her hands, her sobs soft. He gently takes her arm. “Sam, hey, it’s going to be okay.”

“An, did you know about this?” She lifts her head, her eyes brimming with sadness.

Ansel starts to answer but thinks better of it, sighing instead.

His silence morphs her expression into one of disbelief, and she turns to Aiden, who’s guiltily avoiding her gaze. “Did you know about this too, Aiden?”

He rubs his eye guiltily, unable to meet her gaze.

Sam steps back, nodding bitterly. “You all knew… I should have known. You always cover for each other, even when it’s so wrong!”

She hurls Alaric’s phone at his chest, snatches up her bag, and storms out. Ansel runs a hand through his hair, and Alaric collapses onto the couch, covering his face with his hand.

“Aren’t you going to go after her?” Alex asks, worry threading his voice.

“I’ll call her later,” Alaric mumbles, staring at his jeans. “I’m giving her some space.”

I feel for Sam. She’s always been there for me, so it hurts to see her this devastated. I rise from my seat and chase after her.

“Sam, hold on!”

She pushes through the gate, her hands covering her mouth.

I hurry after her. “Sam, please, hold on!”

She turns to me, tears streaming down her face. “Yes?”

I sigh, shifting uncomfortably. I’m not good at comforting people, but Sam has been so kind to me, I can’t just watch her leave in such pain.

“I’m really sorry,” I say.

She sniffles. “Did you…did you know about this too?”

I press my lips together, my gaze falling to the ground.

~Yes. I knew.~

My silence is answer enough. She covers her eyes with her hand. “Even you knew. Why was I so blind?”

“No. No, you weren’t, Sam. Please don’t—”

“I need to go.” She turns away from me and runs down the street, crying. I push my hair back, sighing. My heart aches for her.