Hold Me Tight

RAINEY

The morning sun’s warm, lively rays blaze against my face, yanking me from my slumber. I pry my eyes open, only to wince as a sharp headache stabs at me.

I must have had too much to drink last night.

I sit up, grimacing as I press a hand to my throbbing forehead. I blink around the room with puffy eyes, yawning widely, then immediately cringing at the stale taste in my mouth.

My eyes narrow in confusion as I take in my surroundings, my brain finally kicking into gear.

Ansel’s room? How did I end up here?

I groan, pushing my tangled hair back. The scary part is, I can’t remember anything from last night. I could have stripped naked in front of him or done something even crazier in my drunken state.

Instinctively, I yank the covers off, sighing in relief when I see I’m still in my jeans and T-shirt.

I try to squeeze some memory from my aching brain, some hint of last night’s events.

I remember downing a ridiculous amount of alcohol, and then there’s a blurry image of Ansel’s face as I lay on the couch. He must have brought me here because I was too wasted. And then—

“SHIT,” I blurt out as a hazy memory of my drunken self, clinging tightly to Ansel from behind, flashes in my mind.

What have I done?

“Oh God…”

The pain in my head intensifies, and I clutch at it. The terrifying part is that I can’t remember anything else.

The vague image of me hugging him doesn’t clear up my confusion. I must have said or done something else. ~Something worse~.

~Rainey, you are never drinking again!~

I sigh as I slide off the bed, shivering as the cold floor hits my feet. I squat to find my shoes, grabbing the boots from beside the bed and slipping them on quickly.

~I can’t believe I hugged him! What was I thinking?~

The stale taste of last night’s alcohol makes me feel sick, so I rush to the bathroom.

Thankfully, the toothbrush I was given last time is still there, so I quickly brush my teeth, wash my face, and leave the room.

I need to apologize to Ansel for my strange behavior last night. I didn’t mean to hug him.

Well, deep down, it’s something I’ve secretly wanted to do since that time I rode with him on his bike. But not like this. Not in such a weird and creepy way.

The loud noise of a video game echoes off the walls as I head downstairs. Riley is on the couch with Alex and the twins, engrossed in a PS4 game.

As soon as she sees me, she grins, but quickly refocuses on the animated screen, her fingers flying over the controller. “Good morning, sunshine!”

Alex looks up from the bag of Lay’s he’s munching on, grinning and wiggling his eyebrows.

He does that when he’s thinking dirty thoughts, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s a sign that I made a fool of myself last night.

If I did something crazy like kiss Ansel or come on to him, I don’t think I could face him ever again.

“Rain, your friend is something else. She’s a hell of a gamer. I mean, she’s even good at FIFA. That shit ain’t normal.”

Aiden chuckles, his fingers pounding on his controller. I can tell Riley is giving him a tough time with the racing game.

“Yeah, she’s not human. She’s probably from some unknown planet,” Arden agrees, grinning as he snatches the Lay’s from Alex.

He takes a chip from the shiny bag, watching Riley with an admiring look. “I’m not kidding. I like her.”

“Yeah, you like everyone, Arden.” Alex frowns at his comment, grabbing his snack back from his brother. “Get your own food.”

“Sorry to interrupt your game, guys, but can I borrow Riley for a quick second?” I ask, pinching my thumb and index finger together for emphasis.

Riley puts the controller down, pointing a warning finger at the boys. “If any of you touch my game, I’ll kill you all!” They laugh at her threat as she hurries over to me.

I sigh, gently pulling her to a corner. “Riley, what happened last night?”

“Oh…” Her face lights up, and I don’t know why my heart skips a beat. I cringe, hoping she’s not about to say something that will scar me for life.

“Ansel slept next to you,” she says, her smile wide and dreamy.

My eyes widen, and she chuckles. “You should have seen how tangled up you two were. Your leg was draped over his thigh.”

“Jesus,” I gasp. “Are you messing with me, Ry?”

I know Riley can exaggerate sometimes, but this time I have a feeling she’s not adding any extra spice to the story.

I hugged him; I remember that much. I probably forced him to lie with me too, and I wish the earth would open up and swallow me whole.

“No, I’m not messing with you. Ask Alex, he saw it too.”

I bite my lower lip a little too hard, tasting blood. I suck on it to ease the pain. “What happened before that?”

“That I don’t know. I was out of it all night.”

She grins again, clearly enjoying my discomfort. I don’t think Riley understands the seriousness of the situation. She’s having way too much fun with this.

“If you’re so curious, ask Ansel.” She nods toward the kitchen. “He’s making breakfast.”

I follow her gaze, sighing as I see him. I’m not sure I can face him, but avoiding him isn’t an option, not when I’m in his house.

The sound and smell of frying eggs hit me as I step into the kitchen. Ansel is at the stove, cooking breakfast.

His hair is tousled, and the white tank top and sports shorts he’s wearing show off his perfect, sweat-glistening skin.

His skin is like silk. I swear, I don’t think he’s ever had a pimple in his life.

He turns his head, catching sight of me. His lips curl into a warm smile, and my cheeks instantly flush.

“Morning.”

“Morning,” I manage to say, my voice shaky from nerves. I clear my throat and shuffle over to him.

“Breakfast is almost ready. Just a sec, okay?”

“Sure, take your time.”

I watch him flip the eggs with the spatula, his eyes focused on the pan, squinting slightly from the sizzling oil.

His teeth nibble on his lower lip in concentration, and his hair is damp from the heat of the stove.

I want to talk about last night, but I’m not sure how to bring it up without sounding completely awkward.

“Um, can I…help with anything?”

“No, it’s all good.” He glances at me. “Almost done here.”

He reaches past me to grab the pepper. His body brushes against mine, and I step forward, my stomach pressing against the counter.

A dull ache pulses in my head, and I rub my forehead as the pain slowly fades. Hangovers are the worst.

“Yeah, but I hate just standing around. Are you sure you don’t need help? It’s really bugging me.”

I hate that he had to take me home last night, deal with whatever drunken nonsense I pulled, and then wake up to make me breakfast. The least I can do is help out.

He gives me a small smile. His lips look unusually pink today, like ripe raspberries. I shake my head a little. I think I’m still a bit drunk.

“It’s fine, Rain, but if you really want to help, you can grab some plates. They’re in the cupboard.”

“Okay.” I smile and move around him to get to work while he pulls on oven mitts, lifts the pan from the stove, and slides the perfectly fried eggs onto a plate.

I swallow. “Um…about last night…”

“What about it?”

I reach up to the cupboard, feeling my face heat up at the hazy memory of me hugging him. “I’m really sorry about what happened.”

He chuckles, sounding a bit confused. “What are you apologizing for, Rain?”

I frown when I realize I can’t reach the cupboard. I stand on my tiptoes and stretch my fingers out, straining my muscles as I try to find the right words.

“Um…you know…for…”

I don’t want to say, “for hugging you,” so I decide to drop it. The stubborn cupboard is suddenly more annoying than my fuzzy memory.

I puff out my cheeks in frustration when I realize that even standing on my tiptoes doesn’t help. I didn’t realize I was this short, and I hate failing at anything.

I jump a little, trying to grab the cupboard handle, when I feel someone behind me. I step back, bumping into a solid chest. “Oh, sorry.”

Ansel chuckles behind me. “It’s okay. I’ll get it.”

He places a hand on my hip for balance, reaches up, and effortlessly grabs a stack of plates from the cupboard.

My breath catches in my throat, and I’m suddenly very aware of how close he is.

His hand on my waist reminds me of how he held me at Club Naked last night.

His touch does things to me. Weird, strange things.

He smells clean and fresh, and I can feel his muscles through his thin tank top.

He sets the plates on the counter, but he doesn’t move away. I can still feel him behind me, his body heat comforting and inviting.

Before I can process what’s happening, Ansel wraps an arm around me and pulls me against his chest, hugging me from behind.

I gasp as my body presses against his firm torso.

~What is he doing? What’s happening?~

I blink, swallowing hard at his unexpected move.

“A-Ansel? What are you—?”

“Is this what you’re apologizing for?” His voice is low, sending a shiver down my spine.

I can’t find the words to respond, so I just grip the counter instead.

“Rain?”

“Yeah… I didn’t mean to hug you like that—like this, I mean.”

I close my eyes. I can’t seem to find the right words. I don’t know what he’s doing, and I’m not sure my heart can handle it.

“You don’t apologize for hugging someone,” he says. “You don’t feel sorry about it either. There’s nothing to apologize for. We all need a hug sometimes, don’t we?”

I open my eyes, looking down at the white tiles of the counter. I don’t know what to say.

His embrace is comforting, like he’s telling me everything will be okay. It feels like he knows something about me, and I hope I didn’t spill any secrets to him last night.

“Why are you so tense, Rain?” His minty breath tickles my neck, sending goosebumps down my spine. “Relax a little. You’ll see how good it feels.”

I close my eyes, letting myself relax against him. I’m always on edge, always feeling like the world is about to end. I’m a bundle of anxiety, just existing, not really living.

He wraps his other arm around me, and I didn’t think my heart could beat any faster, but then he buries his face in my neck.

I suck in a breath, praying I don’t have a heart attack.

He was right. It feels amazing. Like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I can’t remember the last time I was hugged like this. It’s as if time has paused and it’s just the two of us in the world.

The only sound I can hear is the rapid pounding of my heart and Ansel’s steady breath against my heated skin.

The hug lasts for a minute, then he lets go, and I’m suddenly cold and empty again.

I take a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding and slowly turn to face him. My eyes, wide and questioning, meet his.

I want to understand why he hugged me like that, and I don’t want to jump to conclusions, thinking he has feelings for me. He’s always kind to me, but then again, Ansel is kind to everyone.

And there’s his ex-girlfriend, Lea. They may have broken up, but I can’t help but think he still has feelings for her. Do feelings just disappear that quickly?

He places his hands on the counter on either side of me, leaning down to my level. I’m trapped between the warmth of his body and the counter.

His gaze drops to my lips, but he quickly brings it back to my eyes.

“See? A hug isn’t something to feel bad about, Rain,” he whispers, his charming smile returning. “No harm done.

“I did it too, so you don’t have to feel weird about it. We’re even now, right?”

I manage a small smile, nodding my head, since it’s the only response I can muster.

I’m still reeling from our close contact, and I think it’s going to take me a while to start forming sentences again.

He looks at me, his mesmerizing eyes piercing mine like a bullet. His head starts to move closer, and I hold my breath, thinking he’s going to kiss me.

I did notice the way he looked at my lips a moment ago. It was brief, but I saw it.

I swallow hard, my face burning as I look at him with anticipation. But to my disappointment, he reaches around me and grabs the plates from the counter.

I quickly lower my eyes so he doesn’t see the wave of embarrassment in them. I peek up at him through my lashes, and he’s smiling as he moves away.

“What kind of tea do you like? Chocolate or lemon?”

I clear my throat, hoping I don’t sound like I’m choking as I answer.

“Chocolate’s fine.”

He reaches for a kettle and places it on the stove. “I like chocolate too.” He smiles at me, and I return it.

His smile is bright and beautiful, and I can feel my heart swelling in my chest. I don’t think he realizes how much I’m falling for him.