The Reluctant Wife: Chapter 58

It’s been three weeks since I let her walk out of my hospital room. If I said it was easy to do so, I’d be lying. But I let her leave because my instinct told me it was the only way I could forge a future for us.

On the face of it, nothing has changed. She doesn’t physically stay away from me. It’s more of a mental and emotional distance she’s put between us. It’s there in the way she makes sure not to come too close to me. In how she doesn’t take my hand anymore or makes sure not to meet my eyes directly. In the watchful look in her eyes with which she surveys me when she thinks I’m not watching her… Which is never. Being in the same space as her, there’s no way I’m not aware of her.

I’d have left the hospital a lot earlier, but for the fact she convinced me to stay.

While the cottage I bought was being refurbished, I moved back into her suite, into my old room, the one next to her bedroom.

She gave me a grateful look when I told her about my decision. Clearly, she doesn’t want us to sleep together while she thinks through whatever is on her mind. That’s fine. If space is what she wants, I’ll give it to her. What pisses me off is that she’s not sharing whatever is bothering her, and she thought she couldn’t ask me to stay in a different bedroom while she figures things out.

At least, she’s safe. I’m reassured she’s safe in her bed every night, even if I spend most of each night in a state of raging arousal.

So what, if I miss her nearness, and her body, but mostly, just being with her. It feels like a very vital part of me is missing. There’s a clawing need for her, a gaping Aura-shaped hole in my life which is only filled when I see her. If anything, this enforced distance between us confirms to me that I cannot go back to living life without her. I miss my wife, and I can’t wait for her to realize how much we belong together.

‘Thanks for helping identify who’s going to be on the Duchess’ permanent security team.’ I nod toward Tyler’s face on my phone screen.

‘Good, and how’s Smith working out?’ he asks.

The discovery of Veronica’s and Gavin’s involvement in the threats on the princess’ life, resulted in a major overhaul of the Royal Security Team. It also resulted in a tacit peace agreement between the king’s Head of Security, and me.

We set aside our differences so we could work together to keep the Royal Family safe. The fact that he was mature enough to push aside his resentment toward me for my muscling in on his role and realize it made more sense for us to combine our forces to do our jobs, made the guy go up in my esteem.

I resumed my role as the head of the Duchess’ security team but acquiesced to Smith taking on more of the day-to-day duties.

Given Aura has asked for time off from her Royal duties while she takes her thinking time, I’ve stepped in on her behalf to help how to invest the Davenport money in Verenza. So, Smith’s help in identifying additional training and tech upgrades for the security team has been welcome.

Tyler scratches at his whiskered chin. He has heavy bags under his eyes and, with his overgrown hair, is a far cry from the shaved and shorn Royal Marine I used to know. That was before his daughter came into his life.

‘How’s Serene?’ I scan his features. ‘I take it she’s not sleeping nights?’

‘She keeps having nightmares and wakes up screaming. Then, she won’t go to sleep until I’ve crawled into her princess bed with her, which is not exactly long enough for my length.’ He cracks his neck, then stretches his arms above his head. His joints creak.

‘You’re a good dad,’ I say softly.

He scoffs, ‘If I were, I’d know how to tie a French braid. Something I’ve been unable to master, despite watching online tutorials.’ He holds up his thick fingers. ‘I can load rifles and hit a target at three miles, but braiding my little girl’s hair is beyond my powers.’

‘You changed your life around for her. You gave up your career in the Marines and work from home so you can keep an eye on her. It’s me who should be apologizing for taking you away from her.’

Tyler shakes his head. ‘She was well taken care of by Summer, and I’m glad I was there for you. Besides, I’d be lying if I didn’t say, sometimes it’s good to take a break from parenting.’ He grins.

‘You almost died.’ I squeeze my fingers into a fist. I’m not over the boats being blown up. That moment of my stomach bottoming out when I realized my brother and uncle might be dead, then calling on all of my experience as a Marine to believe that they were veterans who knew how to take care of themselves and focus on saving my wife. ‘It’s not an experience I want to repeat again.’

‘Amen.’ He lowers his chin to his chest. ‘We underestimated our enemy. But believe me, I’m in no hurry to go anywhere; not as long as I need to take care of my little girl.’

He takes in my features. I must look as tired as I feel, for he asks, “Everything okay?’ His shrewd gaze doesn’t miss much.

I should have realized I couldn’t hide my current state of mind from my brother. I want to tell him everything is fine, but I have a feeling that’s not going to fly with him.

‘Finding me shot and bleeding, and almost dying, was a shock to the Duchess. She needs a little time and space to process it; something I’m trying to give her,’ I admit.

‘Hmm.’ He purses his lips. ‘And how do you feel about it?’

‘I understand.’ I drag my fingers through my hair. ‘If anyone knows how it is to see your friends and platoon-mates get hurt and die, it’s me. Doesn’t mean it makes it easier to see her withdraw from me.’

‘It’s because she loves you, and it’s difficult to see your loved ones hurt. It makes you realize they’re mortal, and that you’re going to lose them one day. Nothing like seeing someone you care for almost die for your own mortality to hit home,’ he points out.

‘When did you become so wise?’

‘That’s what becoming a father does to you. You realize how powerless you truly are, how little control you have over everyday life.’ He half smiles. ‘She’ll come around; you just have to be patient.’

Aurelia

‘I am so sorry, I can’t make it for your birthday celebrations,’ Zoey cries from the phone screen.

I’m in my suite, getting dressed for the grand ball that my father has insisted on throwing for me. Having completed my hair and make-up, I study my reflection. Not bad for someone who, until a year ago, had a full glam team at her disposal. Truth be told, it’s so much more satisfying to dress myself. Now, I only have to get through welcoming the queue of celebrities and officials my father has invited.

‘I wouldn’t have expected you here, honestly. Anyway, it’s an event my father’s team has organized.’ For him, it’s another opportunity to have Verenza in the news.

We have to use every occasion to drive publicity around the country. And weddings, birthdays, and funerals provide the ideal platform for this. But a part of me feels like I’ve had enough of living my life in the public eye. I want to scale back my appearances at such fluffy events and, instead, use my family’s name to attract more attention to charitable causes. I’m not sure how my father would receive that though, so I haven’t brought it up with him.

She frowns. ‘But it’s your birthday.’

‘And I’m the Duchess of Verenza.’ I shrug.

‘Not only. You’re also Mrs. Ryot Davenport,’ she reminds me.

Like I could forget that. His touch, his scent, the feel of his body against mine, his cock inside me, the feel of his palm print on my ass as he spanks me… All of it is burned into my brain and into my very senses. Seeing him almost daily in the meetings when our teams meet to discuss the agenda of the day, and then having him hold my hand at various official functions we attend together, only reinforces that I am his.

There’s not a moment when I haven’t thought of my husband.

At night, alone in the bed in my room, images of how he worshipped me with his body crowd my brain. The way he dominates me and controls me during lovemaking and edges me to new heights, so when I orgasm it turns the act of sex into something almost sacred. It confirms to me that I’m doing the right thing in wanting to walk away from my royal duties to seek a life out of the limelight.

Unfortunately, it’s also mixed with images of him lying bleeding; when my heart dropped into my stomach, and I was unable to breathe, and felt the world closing in on me.

When I dropped to my knees and whipped off my blouse, trying to stem the flow of blood. I was sure he was gone until I slapped him, and he opened his eyes. The relief that enveloped me threatened to pull me under. But I knew I had to stay strong, I had to maintain pressure on the bleeding gun wound. That it likely saved his life is of little solace, though. The gamut of emotions that cleaved my chest still haunts me.

I am still dealing with the trauma of having almost lost him. It’s why I haven’t been able to tell him about my decision to leave my royal duties.

‘He was hurt protecting me—’ I clear my throat.

She purses her lips. ‘Are you holding yourself responsible for what happened?’

I don’t reply.

Her scowl deepens. ‘Honey, the only person at fault here is Veronica.’

‘But I trusted her. I was the one who brought her into my inner circle. It’s because I messaged her that she could track down where we were.’

She blows out a breath. ‘Surely, you can see how irrational you’re being here. You checked her background before hiring her, and there was nothing in it that could have warned you about her or indicated she was the person out to get you.’

I complete painting my lips and set down my lip gloss. ‘Logically, I agree with you. But the emotional part of me can’t get past the image of him lying hurt after being shot by a bullet meant for me.’

‘He was also your head of security. It was his job to do that,’ she says slowly.

‘That changed when I married him. I feel… like I’ve pulled him into my life and all the complexity that goes with it. And all because I wanted the money he and his family could invest in my country.’ I twist my fingers together. ‘If something had happened to him, I wouldn’t have been able to survive it. Every time I close my eyes, I see him on the ground, bleeding out. And it’s making me feel I need to do something about it. As long as he’s with me, he’s going to be exposed to the same level of threat I am.’

‘He’s a Marine, and a scion of the Davenport family, who may be even more well-known than your family. He’s as used to being in the line of fire, as well as in the media eye.’

‘But I’m the Duchess, a member of the Royal Family of Verenza, with public-facing duties. I’m the one whose lifestyle people are envious about, enough that they want to take me down. The level of scrutiny he’s come under is nowhere close to what I’ve faced. By marrying me, he’s put himself squarely in danger, as well.’ I slip into my stilettos and grab the phone from where I’ve balanced it on the dressing table.

‘Have you spoken to him about this?’ she asks slowly.

I hesitate, then shake my head.

‘Why not? It’s clear, you’re tying yourself up in knots. Nothing I say is going to help resolve the questions in your mind. You should discuss them with him. He’s your husband, after all.’

‘You’re right, of course. I need to be more open about my fears with him. But it’s taken me a little time to even identify what was bothering me, you know?’

The lines around her eye softens. ‘Honey, that’s normal. You had a shock. And it’s normal to be so overcome that you pull back. Likely, you needed a little space to regroup. But he’s your husband. And he was there when it happened. It must have been traumatic for him, too. He must have been just as upset to realize Veronica was the one who came prepared to hurt you.’

‘Not to mention that his brother’s and uncle’s boats were blown up, too. He probably feared they were already dead.’ Another thing that makes me feel guilty. ‘Thankfully, no one was hurt.’ Both men made it clear to me they were doing their job and, given a choice, would do it all over again. Which makes me feel lucky to have them as part of my new family. But that doesn’t lessen the guilt of what I put them through.

‘You really should talk to him⁠—’

‘Talk to who?’ My husband’s voice reaches me from the doorway of my suite. After what happened, he upped the security and installed locks outside my suite which now require a passcode. A passcode only he and I, and one member of my household staff responsible for the cleaning, have. No one else is allowed in here, or into the cottage he bought on the premises.

The security outside the palace was also increased, and all of the staff was subjected to more rigorous background checks and enhanced skill development. All of which makes me feel safer… But if I’m being honest, the only time I feel completely safe is when I’m with him.

‘Hi, Ryot,’ Zoey calls out.

‘Zoey.’ He nods at her ‘How’s the job coming along?’

‘As well as can be expected, considering so many of my authors have missed their deadlines.’ She rolls her eyes.

‘I promise, I’ll be done with the redrafts by the end of the month,’ I hasten to add.

She laughs. ‘Oh, I know you will. Despite all of the changes in your life, I know you’re so professional, you’ll stick to your deadline. Unlike some of the others I manage.’ Someone talks off screen, and she nods at us. ‘Okay, I’m late for my next meeting.’

‘Take care, Z.’

She disconnects. I hang up and slide my phone into the tiny purse I’ll be carrying. Then, because I need something inane to talk about, I step away and pose with one hand on my hip. ‘How do I look?’

He peruses me from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, and everywhere his eyes alight on me, it feels like he’s touched me. Little sparks of heat dance off my skin. Tiny stings of pleasure nip at my nerve-endings. His gaze is so hungry, so admiring, so lust-filled and tender, all at once, my heart swells in my chest. A heavy sensation squeezes my pussy. When our gazes connect, I feel like I’m being pulled in his direction.

As if in a dream, I take a step in his direction, and another, until the tips of my stilettos bump into his dress shoes. It’s my turn to scan him, from the razor-sharp crease of his black pants, to the crisp white of his shirt, and the emerald green tie which brings out the silver highlights in his eyes. The breadth of his shoulders stretches his jacket. The dark, spicy scent of his aftershave crowds my senses and turns my nipples into pinpoints of need. The lack of his five o’clock beard indicates he recently shaved, and his hair is combed back, with an errant strand falling over his forehead. My fingers tingle and, unable to stop myself, I go up on tiptoe and brush it aside.

His gaze widens, and as I pull back, he plants one big palm on my hip. The heat of his fingers burns through the fabric into my skin. ‘You look beautiful.’

‘You look beautiful,’ I murmur.

He slides a hand into his pocket and pulls out a ring. He releases me, only to take my left hand in his and slide a ring next to my wedding band.

‘Oh!’ I take in the large, oval sapphire in the center of the ring. It’s deep blue, with a sparkle. So, like my eyes. My heart stutters. A warmth squeezes my chest. Surrounding the sapphire are brilliant cut diamonds that enhance the beauty of the sapphire. It’s simple, yet elegant, and very regal.

‘Fit for my Empress.’ He kisses the ring, then holds my hand between both of his.

‘It’s gorgeous.’ My throat aches with unspoken feelings.

‘It belonged to my grandmother. She left a piece of jewelry from her collection for each of us brothers to give to the woman we love. She’d have wanted you to have this.’

‘It’s beautiful.’ A pressure drums at the backs of my eyeballs. I can’t take my gaze off the beautiful stone. ‘It feels… Perfect.’

‘You’re perfect,’ he says with such feeling, I raise my gaze to his.

On his face, I see the wonder, the love, and the tenderness. That look which marks him out at as mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. His green irises spark. That underlying current of lust that Is underpins our interactions flares.

I take a step toward him and tip up my chin. He lowers his chin, and a buzzing sound interrupts us.