The Reluctant Wife: Chapter 28

‘I don’t understand why we have to go to this dinner,’ Gavin whines from the seat next to me.

Tyler is in James’ car ahead of us. We’re in the armored car, Tyler drove over.

Ryot, who’s driving, stiffens. He filled us in on where we’re headed and explained that Arthur and my father decided we need to appear at the dinner at Arthur’s place before we head to Verenza.

Gavin seems to have conveniently forgotten the conversation, for less than an hour into the journey, he’s begun to voice his protests.

I scowl at him, hoping he’ll shut up. Not that he takes the hint. Instead, he begins to fidget in his seat. ‘Why can’t we head back to Verenza? The jet is waiting for us. We could be airborne within a few hours and be back in time for dinner.’ He turns to me with a pleading look in his eyes. ‘You know how much I already consider Verenza home. I already miss it.’

‘You’ve been away for less than twenty-four hours. You’ll survive,’ I say rudely.

‘But, Aurelia, I promised my friends we’d be hosting them at the palace this evening.’

I ignore him.

The silence in the car stretches. Then, Gavin begins to squirm around in his seat. It’s an attention-garnering tactic on his part, and I try to pretend I don’t notice. But he continues to shuffle around. I blow out a breath and turn back to him. ‘What is it?’

‘I have to piss.’

‘What?’ I blink.

‘I need to pee, Aurelia,’ he says in that prissy voice I hate. Jesus, he’s really getting on my nerves.

Before I can answer, Ryot’s deep voice interrupts. ‘We’ll pull off at the next exit for the amenities.’

‘You want me to use the public lavatories?’ He gapes.

Ryot and I exchange a glance in the rearview mirror.

‘It’s either that or hold it in until we reach Arthur’s place in the next hour,’ he drawls.

Gavin glowers at him, then pulls out his phone and, muttering under his breath, pretends to get busy with it.

Ryot calls Tyler to update him, then takes the next turn off.

Gavin’s phone pings. I glance at it, not because I mean to pry, but it’s the instinctive response to look at a device when it calls your attention. I notice Veronica’s name on the message he’s received. Huh? She‘s in touch with him? He notices me looking and angles his shoulder so I can’t read the words on the screen. Hmm.

They’ve met a few times that I’m aware of, but I didn’t think they’d know each other well enough to text each other. Then again, Tyler mentioned that Gavin called her, trying to find out about my whereabouts. Which is strange. He could have called Fred or my father directly. Perhaps, he couldn’t reach them?

The car turns off the highway, and I put it out of my mind.

A few minutes later, we pull into the rest area behind Tyler’s car.

‘Hold on,’ Ryot cautions. ‘Tyler is sweeping the place to make sure it’s safe.’

Tyler stalks out of the entrance and nods at Ryot, who steps out and opens my door.

Ryot and I walk up the steps and follow Tyler into the service area. There’s no one else around.

‘Tyler cleared the area temporarily,’ Ryot clarifies.

‘Very efficient.’ I search his features, but if I thought that shared commiseration over Gavin’s whining eased things between us, I was mistaken. Ryot’s features are hard. His gaze is impersonal.

‘Your safety is paramount to us, Princess,’ he says in a formal tone, then leads us in the direction of the restrooms.

Tyler opens the door to the men’s room. Gavin disappears inside.

‘Uh, guess I might as well—’ I head toward the ladies’ room, but Ryot reaches it first. He holds the door open. I walk through and cross the floor to one of the cubicles.

When I emerge, he’s waiting inside the doorway; his gaze is, however, fixed on the distance.

I walk to the sink, wash my hands, and dry them. When I turn, it’s to find he’s not looking at me. My heart sinks.

Of course, it’s my fault. I withheld the fact that I’m engaged. He has every right to be upset with me, for ignoring me. But my stupid heart is not able to bear it. Not after how, just this morning, he made love to me. He said he has feelings for me. Twice. Which must mean he’s been thinking of me as much as I have of him, right?

And what about his wife? Did he have feelings for her? He must have, right? That’s why he married her. I can’t ask him about it, can I?

It doesn’t sound right, no matter how much I’m dying to know. I can’t be that intrusive. Especially not after how I hurt him. But I can’t bear him not even looking at me. I can’t.

I wash my hands, dry them, then glance at his reflection in the mirror. I turn, lean my hip against the counter. “Ryot… I know I messed up. I was so wrapped up in my own stuff that I completely ignored how my thoughtlessness would cause you pain.”

He stiffens. His expression grows even more severe.

“What I did wasn’t okay, and I’m truly sorry for that. But please, don’t avoid me. I can’t bear it.”

The planes of his chest grow rigid. His jaw seems like it’s carved out of ice.

Oh no, by reminding him of what I did, I’m only making it worse.

I hang my head. My chest is so heavy, it feels like my center of gravity has moved there. The backs of my eyelids burn. I will not cry. I will not.

Spine straight. You’re a princess.

Not even my mother’s voice pulls me out of the black hole I seem to have fallen into. The silence in the space grows and pushes down on my chest until it feels like I’m carrying the weight of the entire world. I can’t bear that remote expression on his face. I can’t imagine how much he’s hurting inside. And selfishly, I can’t bear the thought of him not forgiving me for what I did. I can’t.

“Please. Please say something,” I croak.

Something in my tone must get through to him, for he blows out a breath. A beat. Another. Then slowly, he turns his gaze on my face. There’s a bleakness on his features. A hopelessness that makes me want to hate myself all over again for not having come out and told him about my upcoming nuptials from the beginning.

I have been so selfish. Nothing is worth this wounded feeling I see in his gaze. Not the memories I’d hoped to hold onto. Not the fact that I gave my virginity to a man I wanted. If I could do it all over again, I’d suck it up and not keep him in the dark.

‘Jane, was pregnant when she was killed in action,” he says flatly.

His words are a sucker punch. I feel like I’ve been kicked in the stomach. ‘Oh, my god.’ I slap my hand over my mouth.

‘I didn’t find about it until later.’

I lower my hand to my side, then turn to face him. ‘I’m so sorry, Ryot. More than you can imagine.”

His gaze turns stark. The pain and anger in his eyes freezes the air in my lungs. Then he pivots and walks out of there.

That dejection in his features was real. He must have loved her. And she was pregnant. No wonder he’s so devastated.

No doubt, keeping my engaged status from him has only added to his trauma.

I have no doubt now that this thing between us is over.