CHAPTER 4 - THERE IS NO GOING BACK NOW!

I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world, I got to spend the entire day with an amazing guy. Suddenly, I was forcing myself to get through the rest of school, lost in a daze. After my last class finally ended, I met up with Jenny at the lockers before we headed home. As I approached mine, I noticed a note peeking out of the corner. I rushed to it, hoping it was from him.

Even though I was angry at him, I needed to hear some reason. At that point, I would have even taken an excuse. Hurriedly, I snatched it out of the locker. I glanced up at Jenny before I opened it and she shot me a sympathetic look. I knew she thought he was bad news, but I just couldn't help myself. The heart wants what the heart wants.

That letter was EVERYTHING to me at that moment. I opened it like someone would open their first present on Christmas morning. Glancing down at the letters, I skipped straight to the signature. It was from him. It was from Jake.

Sky,

I know I was a jerk this morning, PLEASE give me a chance to explain myself.

What we have is amazing, please don't let it go.

Jake

I read his words and then re-read them, trying to make sense of everything. My mind replayed every scene and the way he had completely ignored me. If he wanted me, then why did he treat me that way? There was only one way to find out.

Jenny didn't say a word, she could see on my face it was a losing battle. So, like any good friend, she just kept her opinions to herself. I had to figure this out on my own and she knew it.

Back at home, I plopped down on my bed and just let myself fall back. My mind was still obsessing over everything. My brain came scarily close to exploding. Just as I had worked my mind into a fever pitch, my phone buzzed and I rushed to see what it said.

Jake pleaded, "I really need to see you tonight. I have to get you alone so we can sort this whole thing out."

I thought for a moment, trying to come up with a way to get out of the house. It was impossible. Mom had come home earlier that day and there was no way she is letting me go anywhere, I wouldn't dare ask. Having no choice, I forced myself to reply, "I'm sorry Jake, I can't." I kept it short. How do you explain to someone that your mom is insane and you walk on eggshells all the time, desperately trying not to provoke her?

"Sky, I really need you, don't do this," he pleaded again. I knew he thought I said that because I was rejecting him. It was literally killing me inside, but the only alternative was just too much. I couldn't tell him the truth.

"I wish I could explain, but I can't."

It only took a few seconds for him to reply. "I will make this right, I am not letting you go that easy," he insisted.

Thinking hard before replying, I decided not to, I couldn't. After a few minutes, he tried to call. I didn't answer, I didn't have the words.

The emotional exhaustion of the day had drained me and left me hungry, so I headed to the kitchen to look for something to eat. The bare wood shelving held only a few cans of food. I checked the fridge next, hoping to find success there. Those shelves were bare also, just a bowl of leftovers from the week before.

My stomach growled loudly, so I wasn't giving up my search. I opened the crisper drawer and found a package of hotdogs, checking the date. They were still good, score! I grabbed two raw hot dogs and headed back to my room.

There was no ignoring the shouting coming from the living room. I attempted to head back to my room undetected. Dad was sitting on the corner of the tattered sofa, staring at the floor. He looked like he'd been counting the ripped patches of linoleum for hours.

Mom was standing over him looking down at him screaming incessantly. Her handling flapping around wildly. I tiptoed past the doorway, wondering how I got by unscathed the first time. "Sky, I will try to find something for dinner later," my dad called out.

Not thinking anything of it, I shouted back, "Don't worry about it Dad, I just grabbed some hot dogs." I didn't see any harm in that response. Apparently, in my mom's brain, there was something critically wrong with it. She began shouting at me.

"What did you just say to your dad, you disrespectful little brat? I will show you what happens when you sass your father!" I froze in horror. No, No, No, not again. I tried to diffuse the situation as quickly as possible.

"Mom, I wasn't being disrespectful, I really wasn't," I attempted to reason with her.

She shot me an evil glare and began screaming even louder, "Shut your mouth." The next moments were a blur. Before I knew what was happening, she persuaded my dad to give her his belt. She flipped it around so she was grasping the leather end. The buckle hung heavily by her side.

Taking a few steps toward me, she was within swinging reach. The first hit struck my bare legs, and I winced. Strikes landed in rapid succession after that, the buckle tearing into my flesh. My back and legs took the brunt of the hits, but one landed directly on the back of my neck. When I finally couldn't take it anymore, I screamed out from the pain. I saw my dad out of the corner of my eye. He was still sitting on the couch, never looking up. He just continued to stare at the floor.

She continued to hit me until my skin tore, blood escaping my wounds. The attack lasted a few more minutes, not relenting with my screams of protest. By the time she finished, I was lying on the floor, back against the wall. I wasn't sure I could move, my body just collapsed. All I could do was sob uncontrollably. She dropped the belt beside me and headed to her room. My dad left too, and I was all alone on the cold, dirty floor.

I finally found my way to my room and attempted to lie down, but I flinched as my skin touched the sheets. It didn't matter which position I tried, each one brought pain. Finally, I found the most tolerable one, on my side. Getting as comfortable as possible, I finally cried myself to sleep.

The next morning I woke to a very sore body. I wore long pants and sleeves, leaving my hair hanging down. Over the years, I had gotten good at concealing what happened in my home.

At school, it surprised me to find another note in my locker. "Please, Sky!" were the only two words he wrote. He passed me in the hall on my way out of school and he shot me a look that I can only describe as agony. The day had been miserable, and I was ready to get out of there.

Once I arrived home, I noticed that my mom wasn't there. I confirmed it with dad, who just shouted from his bed that she wouldn't be back for a while this time. As I retreated to my room, I let out a sigh of relief. Even a few nights of peace always felt like heaven. I turned some music on, letting it fill my room, relaxing me even further. Just as I got comfortable on my bed, my phone buzzed.

"Did you get my note?"

"Yeah," I responded trying to keep it short.

Almost instantly I read, "Sky, I HAVE TO SEE YOU, I will be there in thirty minutes and I am not taking 'no' for an answer." He was coming with or without my blessing. It was a good thing that mom wasn't there.

When Jake arrived, I went out to meet him. Dad would be in bed for days, he wouldn't even notice that I left. I climbed in his truck, staying as close to the door and as far away from him as possible. I remained silent, not making any small talk. How could he expect me too after what he had done? After I buckled in, he said in a small, defeated voice, "Thank you for agreeing to come with me tonight, I know it's difficult for you." I could tell by the look on his face that he was being genuine.

Keeping quiet all the way to the destination he had planned, it surprised me when he pulled up at the river where everyone hung out. There was the main spot where everyone partied, but also lots of private spots tucked around the river. Those spots proved handy for excited teenagers looking for a place to hookup. But that wasn't the reason we were there that night, we were there to sort things out. He pulled into the spot farthest away and started a fire as I sat on his tailgate and watched.

It was a school night and no-one was really partying so we had the place to ourselves. Once he was sure the fire was going, he took a seat next to me. He looked gorgeous as usual in well-worn jeans. With him close I could smell his hypnotic scent. It made me want to move a little closer but I refused to.

He broke the silence, talking first. "Sky, I know this makes no sense at all but please understand that I am under a lot of pressure. My friends expect me to be perfect. My parents expect me to be perfect. I am expected to get into an Ivy League school and find the perfect wife for politics. She should be someone from a prominent family that will be the perfect trophy wife to propel me straight to the top. I cannot fail my parents who have literally given me everything, it would be more than I could handle."

I let that soak in for a moment and then answered him honestly. "I get it, your ashamed of me and I am not good enough for your family and friends. I understand Jake, I live in a shack, it's a little much to take." From the look on his face, you would have thought I had just shot a dagger through his heart.

He angrily replied, "How could you ever think you're not good enough for me? Just because you don't fit their picture of my future doesn't mean you don't fit mine?" As he finished his little speech, he grabbed my leg. I suppose it was to emphasize the passion he was feeling at that moment. I let out a low scream escape, trying to control it as much as possible.

He shouted, "What? What did I do?" He had no clue what was happening. I jumped off the tailgate and stood by the fire, trying to escape any further attempts to touch me. He came up behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Sky," he said as I cried out again.

He swung me around and this time I couldn't hold it in any longer, I shouted, "Stop touching me!" He took a step back, baffled, trying desperately to figure out how he had hurt me. Stepping behind me again, he pulled up the back of my shirt and I snatched it down.

"Let me see!" he shouted.

"No, it's none of your business," I replied.

"To hell, it's not, let me see," his anger was growing and mingled with concern and fear. I think that was my breaking point. He knew something was wrong, and he was not giving in until he figured out what was going on.

Hiding my entire life was exhausting and lonely, I couldn't do it any longer. In surrender to him, to the hell on earth that I called my life, to everything, I unbuttoned my shirt. As it slid off of my shoulder and onto the ground, I turned so he could get a full view of my back in the fire's light.

I heard him let out a gasp behind me. Determined to show him everything, I unbuttoned my pants and let them fall too. This time I turned toward him, "You wanted to see, here it is, all of it." He didn't say a word, just walked closer. He examined me, first my legs and then circled my body to get a thorough look at my back.

More silence followed as I stood in nothing but my bra and panties. Somehow, I felt even more vulnerable than I did when my mom finished with me. Before I could stop them, the tears fell, softly at first as I tried to hold them back. When I realized I couldn't, I just let them go until I was sobbing, like a freaking child.

As he continued to stare at me in disbelief, I saw tears welling up in his eyes. He was trying to fight them back too, but they escaped anyway. Seeing my wounds was painful to him and I was glad that I had never shown them to anyone else.

Angrily, he questioned me, "Who the hell did this to you?" His shock was morphing into anger at record speed. Before I could even respond he started again. "This is freaking sick, someone used you as a punching bag. What sick son of a bitch did this to you, tell me!" I wasn't sure how to respond because the answer was as humiliating as the situation itself. But I had already gone that far, so I finally just blurted it out.

"My mom," I admitted with shame filling my face.

He looked at me in disbelief, "This is bullshit, who does this to their own child?"

The only reply I could muster was, "Who the hell ghosts someone less than twenty-four hours after they told them they were falling for them? Wounds are wounds, Jake, some physical, some emotional but they all hurt just the same."

Those words cut deep, right to his core. He couldn't respond, he just walked away, trying to collect himself. When he returned, he walked toward me slowly, cautiously. He took my face in his hands and softly kissed my cheek, still silent.

Carefully he picked up my shirt and put it back on me, taking his time to button it slowly, then helped me get my pants back on. After that, I was the silent one, not knowing what he was thinking or feeling. He hurried to put the fire out and then turned to me, "Let's get out of here."

I was too emotionally drained to debate it and slid into his passenger seat. We drove for what seemed like an hour with the only sound being music playing in the background. When we finally came to a stop, and I stepped out of the truck and the smell of salt air assaulted my senses. A cool breeze washed over me, and I slowly exhaled.

******

A/N

I know this was a dark chapter, but it is important because it is the first time Sky had ever let anyone into her world. Let's see how Jake will handle the reality of knowing what is happening in her life.