Chapter 75

My body is temporarily paralyzed by fear, and I can’t move. His rough hands cruelly grope my breasts from behind as he pins me against the wall, rendering me immobile.

My mind races back to the desolate horror of my teenage assault and how he exerted power over me in Chicago. My body trembles involuntarily, and my mind races to the miracle growing inside me and my maternal need to protect it against all odds. This isn’t just about me anymore; I need to find the strength to save my child from what I know is coming.

He plans to take what I denied him a few months ago and back when I was a teenager; this is payback for Jake beating him. He will ravage my body sexually in ways that will devastate my mind emotionally, but I can’t give in to this. I must search deep inside myself for safety with my baby, wrap my body around us, lock us both in, and let my mind detach. I can’t fight someone like him. I could try, but I know he would beat my child from within me, and that matters more than any damage he could ever inflict on me.

“Remember me, darlin’? I didn’t forget about you, my little whore. You and I have some catching up to do,” he snarls against my ear, pushing a hard-erect lump into my backside and grinding against me, straining through his rough jeans. His rancid breath heats my face and makes my skin crawl in disgust. My heart pounds through my chest, and all I can do is squeeze my eyes shut, trying to will Jake to know I’m not okay, for some sixth sense to make him feel my need for him, mentally calling for help, attempting to keep my body from unraveling at the panic building inside of me. All rational thought is fleeting away, and I know I am completely and helplessly about to be abused. Ray is succeeding where previously he failed.

I know it’s pointless trying to call for help telepathically. Jake flew to Manhattan. He’s an hour by plane, four hours by car, and not due home until the morning. Mathews is on some goose chase for keys, which could be just as long. I am alone, but Ray knows he doesn’t need long to inflict lasting damage on my soul. He only needs a few minutes to subdue me, even if Mathews is heading back. This will take me away from Jake, remove my ability to handle a man’s touch, and inevitably take my life from me. I try to flex my body, to get some purchase, but the biting grip and heavy pressure collapsing me into the door takes my breath away. If I fight against him, he will push me down with more aggression, and I can’t let him hurt my child.

~My baby girl! I know it! My little Mia, maybe … Mommy will protect you, my sweetheart. We’ll hang on in here. Just listen to my voice; we’re going to be okay.~

She is the one thing I must protect no matter what he does to me.

“What do you want?” My voice is small and shaking as his hand uncovers my mouth while he changes his grip position. My palms are flattened to the cold door in front of me, and I’m trying my hardest to claw back some sense of calm to my fevered mind. I’m so terrified I can barely breathe, but strength is chanting through my fear-addled brain that my baby needs me to stay calm.

~We’re going to be okay, baby girl.~

“Your rich prick boyfriend and I have some unfinished business, and man, I have been patient, waiting and watching. Did you feel me, Emma? In your house? Watching you from afar? Did you feel me near you and sense the way my cock hardened for you anytime you passed me?” The smell of his breath on my face makes me choke as his dirty mouth comes to my cheek. I try to recoil from him, but the biting grip on the back of my neck pushes my face hard against the door. His disgusting slimy tongue makes its way up my cheek, and his hot sour breath assaults my senses. I gag as a huge bolt of nausea lifts in my stomach, lurching repeatedly.

I gulp down my tears, fighting back the cold wave of terror. Then it clicks in my brain; he was the man watching me from the shadows, the one whose eyes I could sense on me occasionally! The one lingering around that I’d noticed the last couple of days. He’d been here, among the workmen, all along. He’s probably the one they trusted to return the keys to me. My gut tried to warn me, tried to tell me that something was off about him. If only I’d voiced something to Jake at the time, Ray would’ve been found out.

~Jake, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. My baby … our baby. I’m sorry.~

“If you hurt me, he’ll kill you. He won’t just come after you, Ray. He will fucking kill you, slowly and painfully, and enjoy every fucking second,” I snarl between clenched teeth, willing myself to sound braver than I feel. I am trying so hard to get my body to draw in some strength to stand stiffly instead of the mush of Jell-O I am right now. I know I shouldn’t be antagonizing him, but my inner fight is finding her feet at the thought of those clear green eyes, his sexy natural smile, and our beautiful baby girl. My inner strength urging me to protect them both.

~Mommy’s got this, okay, baby girl? I’ve got this.~

“Baby, I want him to know what I do, to see what I’ve done to you. I want to know the agony he’s in when he’s looking for you and knowing I have you, and I am fucking every part of you until you bleed.” His raspy threat ends with a hard bite on my ear, sting, and warmth oozes instantly down my neck. I scream in pain impulsively. The sound muffled as his fingers bite back at my mouth, crushing me to silence again.

My inner rage kicks out, and I try to elbow him, my leg thrusting back in sheer defiant hate, only meeting with defensive blows. The pain, kick-starting that inner teen rage, lashing back to fight and to be free, never to be his victim again.

He laughs, grabbing the back of my skull and, with alarming force, pulls back my head, smashing me forward into the door with a bone-crushing thud to my forehead that draws instant nausea up my throat and blood into my mouth as my teeth pierce into my tongue, my nose collides with the door and heated liquid runs down over my mouth.

The sensation of darkness hits me before any real pain does, and I feel overwhelming dizziness as my body buckles in front of him. My bones melt instantly, and I have no idea what is happening to me. He’s knocked me senseless but not completely out, and he slips me over his shoulder limply and effortlessly.

I’m fighting with my consciousness to wake up and failing. There’s a dark haziness over me, I know what is happening, but I cannot do anything about it. My body is temporarily paralyzed, and my willingness to fight is locked inside my head. It feels like I’m dreaming, and all pain and fear have slipped aside. I can hear harsh whimpering mewls coming from somewhere and realize it’s my own voice. My inability to fight back and the fear inside me blow up dramatically, but I have no strength or courage to do anything.

He is carrying me toward the stairs, effortlessly taking me from this house with an aura of satisfaction; my limbs are heavy, and I have a slow, tingling sensation coming into my fingertips. I’m sure I will throw up, the beginning of retches and jerks of a stomach getting ready to empty itself. I start tingling and aching in my legs as I realize my body is coming out of the shock that his assault placed it in. I’m slowly, so very painfully slowly, able to move my fingers, fighting the huge weight of my limbs to lift them.

I whimper and reach out, trying weakly to grope at the closest banister to me as we pass. Every jolt and nudge is painful in my abdomen as my body bounces on hard shoulders with every step downward. I’m trying to hold on, but my weak fingers slide with no grip, still not completely responsive. I slump and try to inhale slowly, trying to regain strength in my body as the mental fog in my brain starts to clear. My head aches heavily as it begins to come through.

His pace is slow and steady. He’s enjoying the build-up to taking me from my home, getting a kick out of his dominance. His cruel, vindictive game of building my fear, knowing I’m helpless. He planned this, thought about every step, and now he’s relishing every second. His body odor and sweat wake my senses up, gagging and retching. The undeniably strong stench of a man used to physical work and lack of hygiene.

“I’ve seen how weak pretty boy is over you. I’m going to enjoy sending him the videos of what I’m repeatedly doing to you. I’m going to enjoy this much more than you are, sweetheart! I have so many inventive ways to fuck you. I just hope you live long enough to torture him into insanity.” He laughs again, almost to himself. His comments are more of a smug self-assurance in an evil, sadistic way than a confession of his plans for me.

It makes me realize how deeply he has been fantasizing about this, thinking it through, every step planned for precision at how to get back at Jake and me. He’s serving punishment on a man he’s no match for and a girl who evaded his demands twice. He’s taking me somewhere … somewhere he’s prepared with cameras and God knows what else.

He intends to rape, torture, and probably beat me; violence has always been his turn-on. He wants to inflict pain upon Jake in the most demonic way possible. He’s seen Jake’s love for me, and he will use it as a weapon knowing Jake can never physically touch him. He’s a coward and a twisted son of a bitch, a man who can only dominate women that are no match for him.

~Fight for God’s sake! Get up and move, Emma!~

That inner voice claws at me, a wave of fear running through my stomach for me and little tadpole. He’ll kill us both for sure, and if he doesn’t kill me, he’ll kill the innocent life that grows inside me. She would never survive repeated rape and torture, and killing my baby will end me too. Even if I survive this, I know I would never survive the loss or the knowledge that I didn’t protect her. I am her mother; I need to protect her always.

~Emma, you are not your mother. You can and will protect your daughter from Ray. You can do this.~

~Baby girl, sweetheart, Mommy is here. I’m here.~

A surge of anger and some deep unearthly protective rage rush from somewhere inside me. My arms strain out as my hands grasp the railings, desperately trying to latch on. My palms slide on the wooden surface, but I try again and grasp on, gripping hard onto my lifeline, tugging us to a sudden unexpected halt, mid-step.

It earns me a massive searing smack across my legs and butt, and pain and burning sensations flash across my skin in agonizing pain. I yelp but grab out again, catching further down the banister in the hopes of doing it again, each time delaying him so that maybe Mathews has a chance of getting here in time.

We’re almost halfway down the huge sweeping staircase, closer to the door, and probably a waiting car to take me, never to be found alive again. If I let him get me out there and take me from this place, all is hopeless. No one will know where to come and find me. I’ll be his to do with as he pleases, and I can’t let it happen.

~Jake won’t survive this. It’ll kill him. It will destroy him. The beautiful soul that makes him who he is will be devastated and broken forever.~

I try to picture him to give me strength and courage. His beautiful face and powerful body, that calm demeanor but passionate heart. He and our baby are my body, soul, and reason for breathing. They are my whole world, life, and future, and no one has the right to take that away from me or to take me away from them.

I close my eyes tight in determination, and with a slow, steadying breath, I grab at the smooth wooden rail, resolving to hold on to it with everything I am.

My hand connects with something loose on the smooth surface. It slides and rattles against the railings as I’m tugged onwards in our descent. It’s cold and heavy, and my fingers have grasped it before I can contemplate what it is.

The lights are off down here, he must’ve killed them before following me upstairs, and I can make out the solid object I’ve caught in my palms. We’re still moving, so he mustn’t have noticed it. He’s too engrossed in his thoughts of what he will do to me once he gets me into his car. My eyes dart open in surprise at the sudden weight I’m gripping onto …

~What is this … Long and thin and heavy …~

My breath catches in my chest as my scrambled brain makes sense of it, suddenly clicking my thoughts into place.

~The crowbar … The crowbar!~

I yank it up harshly, lifting it as high as I can above my head, positioning myself with my abdomen crushing against him, giving me balance and arching my back and head as high as possible. I stretch my arms to full length and extend the bar upwards for a fully heightened swing. I bring it down with the sheer force of hatred and self-preservation, teen Emma engaging my brain and taking control.

~Take this fucker!~