The Fire Triangle, A Zootopia Fanfiction -- Part One: Fuel - 87

Disclaimer: Zootopia stories, characters, settings, and properties belong to the Walt Disney Co. This story is written under Fair Use Copyright laws.

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The Fire Triangle—A Zootopia Fanfiction

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Part One:

Fuel

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Chapter 10 –When A Fox Goes Rabbit

(Continued...Pt. 2)

"Wha...? Why is Erin calling me now? I thought we agreed on later this afternoon."

Judy frowned as she read the name on her cell-phone screen. Finally, reluctantly, she pressed the 'answer' button.

When the call had come in, it had caught her sitting in Dr. Hind's waiting room, a place that was light years away from what she'd thought a psychologist's office was supposed to look like. Judy had walked in expecting bare walls, minimalist furniture, and antiseptic lighting, the same as nearly every other doctor's office she'd ever visited.

The reality could not have been more different; she might have just as easily have found herself in the reading room of an 'old money' historical society. The carpeting was both thick and spongy, the air smelled faintly of oranges, the walls were paneled in deep, old walnut, and decorated with vintage photographs of the city of Zootopia, many of them dating back more than a century. (Whoa, the Climate Wall had once been coal-fired?) And speaking of walls, the one directly opposite of where the doe-bunny was sitting was given over entirely to bookshelves, stacked with a mixture of classic literature, popular fiction, and popular non-fiction. The lighting was soft, yet bright enough for reading, the chairs were solid, yet comfortably cushioned, and the slowly turning ceiling fans were fitted with blades hewn from real wood and, tipped with real brass. Even the magazines were up to date—which was the biggest surprise of all. (The last time Judy had picked up a magazine in a doctor's office, the cover had been graced with a picture of President Moosevelt...

...Teddy!)

Now she placed the phone against her cheek, and checked her watch. 12:45...okay, that would work; her appointment was at 1:00. She could talk for a little while at least.

"Erin?" she said, "Erin, why are you calling me so early? We were supposed to hook up later in the day; you're just lucky you caught me when I've got a few minutes."

In response the younger bunny sighed wearily, filling the earpiece of Judy's cell with a wash of fuzzy static.

"Sorry, Jude...really, but I thought you needed to hear this right away. Rock Hardesty's at it again...on his radio show, I mean. He says that there's another video of you and Nick. Oh, and someone called him up a few back and said that you guys were...uh, 'carrying on' in the middle of some courtroom thing earlier today."

Judy heard the second part first...and would have screamed if she'd been by herself. Schatten, that no-good, smirking, speciest jerk, it could only have been him. Oooo, just wait until she told Chief...

"No, wait, no," Judy hurriedly put the brakes on that train of thought. George Schatten was a lot of things, but stupid wasn't one of them, (at least not THAT stupid.) No way would he have made that call himself; he'd have gotten someone else to do it for him. Whooo, good thing Nick had opted not to come with her for her appointment; this was the last thing he'd have needed to hear right now.

"Judy, are you still there?"

Oops, she'd forgotten about Erin.

"Yeah, I'm still here, sis...I'm just a little shaken is all. Ahh, can you give me a second? I'm not really in a place where I can talk." (A conversation like this was not meant for public consumption.)

"Sure, Jude."

Putting the younger bunny on hold for the moment, Judy told the llama receptionist, "Sorry, I need to take this call in private, but I'll be right outside if you need me."

When she stepped out into the hallway, there was no one else within earshot; whoops, make that nobody her size or bigger. She quickly checked the floor and nope, no rodents around either.

She took Erin off hold and spoke to her.

"Okay, back...Uh, sis, do you have any idea what other video Hardesty was talking about? I don't remember kissing Nick again."

"Oh he never said you guys were kissing, Jude," The younger bunny informed her, "Only that you werrrre, ummm...what'd he say again? Oh yeah, 'behaving badly', whatever the heck that means."

Judy's nose began to twitch.

"Okay, did he say anything else about it?"

She heard Erin sigh again, this time in frustration.

"Nope, nothing; only that you can find it on his website. I know, right?"

"Dangit, Erin!" Judy couldn't help laughing; yes, she had been right in the middle of an eyeroll—and wasn't that just textbook cyber-hucksterism? 'This video is shocking...shocking I tell you. And what's so shocking about it, you may ask? Go to my website and see for yourself!'

It was almost funny...except that it was also one of the most effective forms of clickbait known to mammalkind.

And that reminded the doe-bunny, "Have you seen it yet, sis?" She asked, assuming the answer was no, (otherwise Erin would have already described it.)

"Nah, I'm not near my computer right now," the younger bunny said, "but I can check when I get home, if you want."

"Thanks, but I'd rather take a look for myself," Judy told her, but then, hey wait a minute... "You're not home right now, where are you?"

Erin's face shifted slightly to the left. "At the Cloverleaf Mall claw salon; my toe-claws were starting to get majorly grungy." She brought her face close to the screen lowering her voice to an almost conspiratorial murmur. "They take like forever to get to you here, you know? But they do such an awesome job, it's worth it."

Judy might have agreed with her younger sister, but at the moment her ears were pointing upwards at the ceiling.

"Then how'd you manage to hear the Hardesty show?" she asked, nose twitching in bewilderment. (She could hardly imagine a program like that playing in a claw salon.)

Erin's face pinched up and she made a small noise.

"Some older bunny in the chair next to mine was streaming it on her cell. Had it cranked up pretty loud too," She rolled her eyes and grimaced. "Sweet cheez n' crackers; haven't some animals ever heard of earbuds?"

"I know, right?" Judy answered; she ran into those kinds of mammals all the time in the city. "I take it she's gone now."

Erin nodded once, "Yeah, no worries, I waited 'til she left before I called."

Now, Judy hesitated, biting her lip and dreading the question she both had to ask and knew she couldn't avoid. "Sis, what's the latest on Mom and Dad, are they still upset over that video?"

Erin's face pinched up again, this time uncomfortably and she averted her eyes for a second.

"I-I-I don't know, sis. They seemed to be getting better with it this morning, but after that new video-thing Hardesty was talking about, I...I just don't know." She concluded with a helpless shrug.

Judy felt a grumble rising in her throat. Yes, that made sense, the question was, how much did her parents know about that new video—and was it really as bad as Hardesty had made it out to be? It wouldn't be the first time that hyrax had indulged in some serious over-hype.

"Did they hear his program today, do you think?"

"Maybe, I-I don't know," the younger bunny sucked on her lower lip for a second, "But Stu Junior would have heard it for sure; he never misses that show."

Judy wanted to face-palm herself—except not in front of Erin. Great! Even if her folks hadn't heard today's Hardesty show, they'd soon be hearing ABOUT it; Junior Hopps was nothing if not gabby—just great!

Only...what other dang-fool video had that hyrax been talking about? As far as she knew, there wasn't any—was there?

"What about the rest of the Burrows, Erin?" She asked, "Does anybody else you talked to have a problem with that video, the first one, I mean?"

She saw her sister's mouth move sideways, "Ummm, I can't really say for sure, Jude. Most of the kids I hang with either don't know about it or think it's no big deal It's mostly the adult animals that seem to be getting torqued over it, especially the older ones, and especially the bunnies—or that's the feeling I get anyway."

Her face and mouth crinkled in sudden, spontaneous mischief.

"What?" Judy asked her. Now, what the heck was this all about?

Erin giggled and said, "Oh, I just remembered something...Uncle Terry came by the warren this morning, and whoa, he's REALLY hacked off about that video. I heard him telling mom that he's going to cut you out of his will.

Judy's paws tucked in and her head reeled backwards and upwards; the textbook portrait of a surprised rabbit. That lasted for about three seconds, and then her mouth zipped open in a wide, sardonic grin, "Cut me out of his will; what the heck was HE planning to leave me, a big stack of unpaid bills?"

This time they said it together, "I know, right?" and shared a quick moment of cathartic, sisterly laughter.

And then Judy got serious again.

"Listen sis, I need to ask you something else...and please tell me the truth, okay? Are you getting any heat from mom and dad, over that video?" There was more than one doe-bunny in the Hopps family who called a fox her friend—and Nick at least was an honest mammal, not so, Erin's comrade-in-music-and-otherwise, Conor Lewis.

But the younger bunny only laughed again.

"Are you like kidding me, Jude? Remember when I put one upside Conor's face, for making that crack about us kissing? Well, now mom says she's proud of me for it; can you believe that stuff?"

Yes, Judy could believe it, but it wasn't easy; at the time, Erin had come that close to pulling weeds for a week over what she'd done. She frowned and thumped her foot a couple of times; her parents' change of attitude concerning that remark might be good news for her sister, but it wasn't so good for the doe bunny herself.

Then Erin asked her, "Listen, speaking of Conor...anymore news about him?"

Judy knew without being able to see that her sister's fingers were crossed. Hrm, speaking of attitude adjustments...yesterday the younger bunny had been about ready to write a certain young silver-fox out of her life for good. No question about it, she was 'that age' all right. The thought made Judy feel amused and sympathetic all at the same time; she had been there, done that herself after all.

In any case, she knew that there was no way she was going to tell Erin about Conor being put in V-3 restraint, (much less about Nick Wilde's exchange with Judge Schatten over it.)

She said, "Well, he had his arraignment this morning and pleaded not guilty on all charges."

"Huh?" her sister's nose was twitching rapidly, "I thought you said the ZPD has him dead-to-rights on body-cam."

"We do, but Conor claims he didn't do it on purpose, and says he didn't realize it was a police officer he'd bitten until afterwards." Judy said this, and then felt her own nose twitching. Body-cam...body-cam; now, why was that word pricking at her psyche?

"Did he?" Erin asked her, instantly breaking the spell.

Judy sighed and gave her younger sister the stripped-down, unvarnished version.

"I honestly can't say sis; I was still pretty dazed when it happened, what with hitting my head and the smoke and all."

"But you saw that body-cam video, right?" Erin asked her. This time, the hopeful note in the younger bunny's voice was unmistakable.

"Yes and it doesn't really show that part," Judy said this with a half-grimace, "Really the only one who can say for certain is Nick. And he hasn't said anything about it yet, one way or the other...not even to me."

Not exactly true, but anything closer to the truth would probably get her in Dutch with Rudy Gamsbart again. And by the way, she was absolutely not going to bring up THAT self-important idiot with her sister.

And then she remembered something else; yes, this ought to steer the conversation into safe territory.

"Oh before I forget, guess what day the judge set for Conor's trial? November, the 5th."

Erin grinned, and began to recite. "'Remember, remember...the 5th of November; the gunpowder treason and plot...' Hey maybe I'll try to attend."

Judy wanted to face-pawlm herself again, this time right into the wall. What was that about safe territory?

"Sis, come on...what did I tell you yesterday about...?

"Jude, I'll be in the city by then, remember?" the younger bunny interrupted, and then crossed her fingers, this time holding them up where her sister could see. "If I make it into the Performing Arts Academy, that is," she said, hurriedly qualifying her statement, and then she asked. "You're coming to my audition, right?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, little sis," the doe-bunny answered, holding up her paw in a Ranger-Scout pledge. Both she and Erin knew of course, that being a police-officer, Judy might find that promise all but impossible to keep. But they also knew that it wouldn't be for any lack of trying; Judy Hopps would go full-court press to be there for her sister's big day.

And that was enough for both of them.

Then the young, white-furred bunny blew a puff of air against her nose—and Judy felt the corners of her mouth stretching into a grimace. Whenever Erin did that, (or whenever she did,) it always meant bad news was on the way; it was a habit the two Hopps sisters had picked up from their mother.

"Might as well tell you Jude; I took a look at that Fuzztube page before I left for the mall, and that kissing vid's gone like super-viral. More than 400K hits since last night, and the comments section was smoking." He eyes turned downwards for a second, "Uhm, you prolly don't want to ask me about what those comments were saying."

"I wasn't going to!" Judy answered abruptly; she could guess for herself, and wasn't it just peachy? Thanks AGAIN, Mr. Hardesty!

"Fine, Rock Hardesty's a jerk, but don't take it out on Erin," the doe-bunny's inner voice admonished her, "Oops, sorry sis, didn't mean to snap at you like that."

Erin only flipped pawlm. "S'okay, Judy. If it were me on that...Oh, looks like they're about ready for me; gotta go."

Judy checked her watch, almost 1:00. "Yeah, I better get going too. I'll talk to you later, Erin. Thanks for the heads up."

"No charge," the younger bunny grinned, and then almost impulsively, she added, "I love you, Judy."

"I love you too, Erin." The older doe-bunny answered, with just the tiniest crack in her voice.

And then another, wee voice spoke up, coming from somewhere down near the floor, next to Erin, "Hi, I'm Umbria...I'll be doing your toes today."

And that was the end of the phone-call.

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"Now Judge...Judge...good, kind Judge...

Send me the 'lectric chair.

Oh Judge...Judge...hear me Judge...

SEND ME TO THE 'LEHHHHHCTRIC CHAIR!"

Someone banged on the door to Conor's cell.

"Knock it off in there, kid!"

The young fox turned in the direction of the noise; the door had only a tiny slit-window, and all he could see was a pair of angry eyes; big cat's eyes, by the look of them.

He called out through a cupped paw. "What's the matter dude, ain't you got no aesthetic sense, no ear for musical appreciation?"

The only answer he got was another bang on the door—and the young fox knew that he had pushed it as far as he dared. He immediately clammed up, and waited for the eyes to go away. When they finally did, he crossed his arms and muttered grumpily to himself.

"Could've at least said, 'Yeah, and that's why I want you to shut up!' Ahhh, correctional officers—NO stinkin' sense of humor.""

He was confined in what the ZPD City Youth-Jail Administration liked to refer to a Total Separation cell, (although the kids always referred to them by their initials.) The furnishings could best be described as ultra-minimalist, a steel bunk, washbasin, and toilet, all of which seemed to have grown out of the walls. The floor was bare concrete, and the ceiling, a flat sheet of some unidentifiable material.

On the other paw, the bed was equipped with a blanket and mattress and the recessed lighting was neither searchlight-glaring, nor bat-cave dim. That made this place a virtual paradise compared to some of the other isolation cells where Conor had once been confined. Best of all, the space was actually a wee bit large for a fox. (Craig Guilford would have felt right a home in here.) And if he had to boost himself up little to reach the sink or sit down on the bed, the lessened sensation of confinement more than made up for it. In Granite Point, they'd made habit of putting unruly kids in cells one size too small for them—and anyone caught belting out a tune the way HE had just now would probably have gotten the hose for his efforts.

Still...a gilded prison is still a prison—and The Hole by any other name is still The Hole.

Conor pushed himself off the bunk and began to pace.

Like many another veteran of solitary confinement, the young silver-fox had developed a strategy for dealing with the constant sense of isolation and boredom. Back in Granite Point, everyone'd had their own way of handling it; some kids meditated all day; others created imaginary worlds, while still others simply slept for 19 hours, (a particular favorite among the nocturnal species.) For Conor Lewis, the favored coping method was the time-honored tradition of holding long conversations with himself. (And here, unlike The Point, he could talk out loud, no need to keep the dialogue to himself.)

"That's a heckuva tune, isn't it? Yeah, would you believe my attorney taught it to me? No, really; he learned it back when HE was in the slam. Yeah, and did you know he missed getting the death penalty by one lousy jury vote?"

Turn, pace...

"Yep, and that's how come 'Send Me to the 'Lectric Chair' became kind of his anthem—while he was on the inside, I mean. He said it's a real oldie; goes all the way back to the 20's but..." Here, his voice became a slightly deeper approximation of the grey rat's nasal delivery, "'nobody ever did it better than my landsmammal, David Bruinberg.'"

Turn, pace...

"If I get off, I'm gonna have to learn how to play that bad boy. Heh, maybe I'll play Mr. Rodenberg my anthem too. Don't worry, I'm not gonna sing it now."

That last was for the benefit of any guard that might be listening.

"How about that ovation I got from those other kids, huh?" He asked himself, changing the subject. "Was that was surprise, or what? 'Course I'm not dumb, I know most of it wasn't for me."

Turn, pace...

"Maybe that deer kid and one or two of the others were clapping for me, but most of 'em were just trying to tweak Judge Predd's nose. Not that I mind; if there's anyone who deserves to get trolled, it's that flat-faced jerk. Anyway, did you notice how much louder the clapping got, after he started banging his gavel? What a dimbulb, you'd think a Juvie Court Judge would know enough to see that coming!"

Conor stopped his pacing and dropped to the floor, performing a hundred push-ups, 25 regular, 25 using his knuckles, 25 with his fingertips, and 25 more with a clap. It was a shorter course than he was used to, but this wasn't meant for building strength or stamina, only to help keep the young fox limber; something he might need later on.

He got up and resumed his pacing, falling silent as he did so; what he had to say next was for nobody's ears but his own.

If everything worked out, it would happen around 5 PM, either right before or right after the shift change. Aggggh, grrrr, it was maddening not to know. All he could do was wait and hope—with emphasis on the hope.

He found himself thinking of Erin Hopps; would she ever understand, would she ever forgive him? Whoa, now there was going to be a serious challenge in the unlikely event that they ever met face to face again; in Conor's mind there was nothing he needed to be forgiven for.

"That Erin KNOWS about," his inner voice reminded him. "Don't forget that other thing; you knew what was really going on, but you never said word about it—not to anyone. What do you think that rabbit-girl would say, if she knew about...?"

Conor stopped his pacing and grimaced, nearly doubling over beneath the weight of his guilt.

Then he lay down on the floor and did 50 sit-up and 50 crunches.

When he got up again and resumed his pacing, he refused to torture himself with any further thoughts about the young, white-furred bunny, instead concentrating on what lay ahead for the evening yet to come.

"Hurry sundown..." he thought to himself.

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"Come in."

The voice was light, airy, and cheerful; the kind of greeting you receive when paying a call on an old friend.

Judy pushed open the door to Dr. Hind's office and, and stepped inside. The first thing she noticed was, "What, no couch?"

The black-tailed deer laughed and came out from behind his desk.

"I'm a psychologist. Officer Hopps, not a psychoanalyst." He indicated a circular table with chairs on either side. Seating himself in the larger of the two, he nodded at the smaller one across the table. Judy had to climb up a little in order to sit down, but then immediately found herself at nearly eye level with ZPD's consulting psychologist—and without the annoying sensation of sitting in a high-chair, (something that always seemed to come with such seating arrangements.) The chair was comfortable too; not quite plush but nicely padded. Sweet cheez n' crackers, this session was rapidly becoming less and less of what she'd been expecting.

The reality fell even further short of her expectations when Doctor Hind said. "Just so you know, we use the term 'client' here rather than 'patient'."

Judy nodded her understanding, tentatively at first, but then more vigorously as the full realization dawned on her. Everything in this office was geared towards creating non-threatening environment.

However, the deer-buck wasn't quite prepared to jettison all semblance of formality.

"Before we begin, Officer Hopps," he said, flipping open a note pad, "May I address you as Judy during our sessions?"

"Sessions..." the doe bunny thought to herself, "He's expecting me to come back for more."

"Yeah, that's fine," she said, and then lifted an ear "and uhhh..."

"I-I-I'd prefer you either address me as either Dr. Hind or Doctor," he said.

"Okay," Judy nodded, "Um, is 'Doc' okay.?"

"Yes," the blacktailed deer answered, "just please don't ask me, 'what's up?'" He readied his pan and then looked at her. "All right then; what brings you here today, Judy?"

She looked away for a second, biting her lip and groping for words.

"Well, I, ummmm...had a little problem while pursuing a suspect last week...a-and Chief Bogo wanted me to come in and see you."

Dr. Hind made a note and said, "Okay, and what brings you here today, Judy?"

A flush rose into the doe-bunny's cheeks and ears. She cleared her throat and tried again.

"Welll, I was pursuing a suspect last week, and I made kind of an impulsive move; my partner Nick was pretty upset about it, and so he thought I should come here and talk to you."

""All right," The deer psychologist nodded again, "and what brings you here today, Judy?"

A lump rose and fell in her throat...and was it getting warm in here?

"Well, there's problem I kind of have..." she started to say—and that was when the floodgates swung open.

"Ohhhh, I did something that could have got me killed last week, and I still don't know why I did it. I jumped off a hangar's roof onto an airplane; if I'd gone even half a second earlier I'd have hit the propeller." She shook her head as if trying to clear her vison and then looked at the deer-psychologist with big, plaintive eyes. "I've always been the kind of bunny to, 'lead with my head', that's how Nick always puts it, but I've never done anything that out-and-out reckless. And it scares me, doctor...a lot."

"All right," Dr. Hind said, jotting a quick note, "Now, you say you've 'always' been this way, Judy; how long is always?"

The doe-bunny smiled, but thinly; this was exactly the questioned she'd been hoping he would ask her—except she hadn't realized it until just this second.

"Funny you should bring that up Doctor...I was thinking about that earlier today...and I think I know exactly where it started, and why."

"Then by all means, please tell me," Dr. Hind said to her. There was nothing patronizing in his tone, nothing condescending; he sounded genuinely interested.

"Well," Judy looked down for a second before answering, but this time when she looked up again, there was no hemming and hawing.

"It happened when I was nine, when my parents took me to the Carrot Days Festival..."

She went on to describe the events of that day, beginning with her performance at the talent show, and concluding with the Gideon Grey 'tickets' incident, pausing several times to allow the deer-psychologist to ask her a question. He never did, and she continued the tale uninterrupted, concluding with the burly, young fox's departure, after laying his claws across her cheek.

Then she backtracked to the heart of the matter.

"When I kicked Gideon in the face and he went for me with his claws, he didn't do it right away...he took his time, even made a little speech first. I should have been able to dodge him easily—you know the expression, quick, like a bunny? Yeah, except I didn't." She hugged herself, shivering at the memory; when she spoke again, her voice had developed a hairline fracture. "I-I just lay there, I panicked, I froze up...I just let Gideon claw me across the face."

She took a short breath and braced herself. "And afterwards, I swore I'd never let myself freeze up like that again. Not consciously; I mean I never raised a paw and swore an oath or anything like that. But afterwards, every time I'd feel that same sense of panic starting to set in, I'd make myself move and move NOW."

"And is that what happened with Craig Guilford?" the black-tailed deer asked her.

"Yes!" the word burst out of Judy as if she'd popped a paper bag. She was not in the least bit surprised that Dr. Hind already knew the details of the Craig Guilford take-down; of course he'd have done his homework. "When I saw that hangar door coming up and heard that engine revving, I didn't know what to do, so I just went with the first idea that came into my head."

Dr. Hind jotted a note and then looked at her. "But now I get the impression that in hindsight at least, you don't think that was such a good move. Am I correct?"

"Yes, that's right," Judy answered, forcing herself to meet his gaze, "We could have run and grabbed our police cruiser and driven it out onto the runway instead; it would have stopped that coyote-kid cold. Or Nick could have run the car out while I kept him busy. And it would have worked too; when the Meadowlands Precinct cops pulled their cruisers out onto the runway that was all she wrote for Craig Guilford; when he saw that he had no room to take off, he finally gave it up."

Judy felt herself hesitating, felt a quick frown crease her face. Something was pricking at the back of her mind again; something she couldn't quite grasp, something about the Meadowlands cops...

If Dr. Hind took any notice of her change of expression, he gave no indication; instead, he chose to backtrack a little.

"All right Judy, we'll talk some more about that in just a second. Now, I think you may be right about your headstrong tendencies being somewhat rooted in your confrontation with, errr...Gideon Grey when you were a kit. However I do have to disagree with you on one point; I don't think you froze up, not at all."

"What?" Judy's foot began thumping before she could stop it—making no sound at all; there was nothing beneath it but empty air. "Are you serious, doctor?" She couldn't imagine how the way she had acted, (or NOT acted,) back then could be called anything but mental paralysis.

"Perfectly serious Judy," the deer-buck psychologist assured her. "Think back for a second; when you confronted Gideon Grey, what was the first thing you said to him?"

The doe-bunny didn't need to think. "I said, 'Kindly return my friends' tickets.'"

"Mmm-hm," Dr. Hind nodded sagely, "And if he had returned them, would that have been the end of it?"

"Yes-s-s," Judy answered him, puzzled; exactly what was the point of all this? "Yes, that's all I wanted," she said.

"Exactly," the deer-buck pointed briefly with his pen, "and then you ultimately succeeded in getting those tickets back, am I right?"

"Y-Yes, that's right," Judy could feel her eyes widening...and her nose twitching. Yes, it was true. Gideon might have left a mark on her face, but at the end of the day, she'd succeeded in what she had set out to accomplish.

All well and good, but it still didn't explain how Dr. Hind could think that she hadn't frozen up out there.

"Right, but now supposing you had moved and dodged his claws, the way you thought you should," he said, "supposing you HAD gotten out of his way. Would you have managed to retrieve your friends' tickets then?"

"No!" this time the word came out of Judy as almost a gasp. No, she wouldn't have, and why hadn't she ever seen it this way before? However subconsciously, staying where she was while Gideon unsheathed his claws had been a calculated move, a gambit, a sacrifice play. Dr. Hind was right; she hadn't frozen up.

He also wasn't finished however.

"And while you were confronting him Judy, did you ever get the feeling that you had bitten off more than you could chew?"

"Oh yes," the doe bunny nodded immediately, "When I planted my feet in his face, he hardly seemed to feel it. That's when I knew I was in way over my head."

"And how did that make you feel, Judy?" the velvet antlered deer-buck asked her, "I know you were scared, who wouldn't be? But did you also feel perhaps just a little bit guilty, that you'd let your friends down in the end?"

"Yes," Judy breathed the word as yet another realization dawned on her, "Yes, that's exactly right." Dang, but this animal was good; she was beginning to feel glad that she'd come to see him.

"Mmm-hm," Dr. Hind nodded unsurprised, as if he'd been expecting this all along, "and that's why I think you were right about this being where your tendency to 'lead with your head,' as you put it, comes from. Tell me Judy, have you ever heard of something called the Hercules Syndrome?"

No," Judy's nose was twitching again, "What's that?"

The black-tailed deer buck smiled.

Forget the cartoons and the movies Judy. The actual Hercules of myth had a habit of flying off the handle without thinking and causing all sorts of collateral damage. Then afterwards, when he saw what he'd done, he'd be overwhelmed by guilt and want desperately to atone for his misdeeds; that's how he ended up performing those twelve labors, to make up for having slain his wife and daughter in a fit of madness."

"I see," Judy said. She almost did, but there was something else, something hovering just barely outside of her grasp.

"But whenever Hercules felt the need to make amends for his sins," Dr. Hind went on, "it always had to be a punishing ordeal, a trial where he would suffer in the process. And he always had to act alone, he never accepted help from anyone else—it was HIS sin, and so he and he alone had to make up for it."

He stopped talking and looked at her, waiting.

Judy felt her nose begin to twitch again. What the heck was she supposed to say? She had never...

"Oh yes you have!"

Her inner voice spoke like a thunderbolt from Olympus...and she knew right away that it also spoke with a Delphic truth; in the wake of her disastrous press conference, when she'd quit the ZPD, what was it she'd said to Chief Bogo and Mayor Bellwether?

"I wanted to make the world a better place...but I think I broke it."

And then later on, after she'd figured out that Nighthowlers were the cause of Zootopia's predators turning savage, had she taken the news to her formerChief? Nope, she'd gone straight to Nick Wilde...and what was it she'd said to him?

"I know you'll never forgive me; I wouldn't forgive me either. I was ignorant, and irresponsible, and small-minded. But predators shouldn't suffer for my mistakes. I have to fix this..."

Before that, after her nearly calamitous pursuit of Duke Weaselton through Little Rodentia...what was it she'd she said to Mrs. Otterton?

"I will find your husband."

Right again...Dr. Hind was right again. She really did try to take the world on her shoulders, every time she made a mistake.

"Here," He was holding something out to her. What was that, a tissue? What the heck did she need a tissue for? It was only then that she felt the stinging moisture, leaking from her eyes. She took the tissue and turned away, daubing at her burning cheeks.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of Judy," she heard Dr. Hind telling her, "That kind of thing is actually very common in police-stress cases. You'd be surprised at some of the officers I've had in here, crying like babies."

Judy bet that she would, but also knew that there was no point in asking; he'd never mention any of them by name. She turned to a face him once again.

"Before we continue," he asked her, "I'd like to know what finally happened between you and Gideon Grey. Did he try to steal those tickets back, after you returned them to your friends?"

"Uh, no, he didn't." Judy suspected that Dr. Hind was only trying to put her at ease before moving on to the crux of the matter. Just the same, she answered him. "I never saw Gideon again that day; I don't know why. But uh, there's something else you should know, Doctor. Gideon later turned his life around. He's partners with my parents in a bakery, back home in Bunnyburrow. I saw him at the Carrot Days Festival just past, and we're friends now; he even helped Nick and me take down a couple of thieves."

"Wow, that's wonderful news, Judy!" the deer buck raised his hooves and applauded, "I couldn't have asked for things to work out better between you two. Bravo!"

"Yeah Doc, but well..." Judy sucked at a corner of her mouth, "How does that fit in with me jumping off of that roof, and onto that airplane. I didn't make any major mistakes, right before then."

Dr. Hind flipped hoof in a throwaway gesture. "Yes Judy, I know that...but you see, in psychology, things don't always fit neatly into place. For example there's something else that doesn't quite fit the pattern. Remember what I said about Hercules always wanting to act alone? When you came back to Zootopia after you quit the force, did you try to fix your mistake all by yourself...or did you ask someone for help?"

"I went to Nick for help," she said, this time meeting his gaze head-on. "I had to; after the way I'd hurt him, I had to—and like I told him at the time, I couldn't have done it without him."

"And yet, you tried to take Craig Guilford down without his help," the deer-buck reminded her, "why do you think you did that?"

Judy threw up her paws as if he'd just pulled a weapon.

"I don't KNOW!" she cried, "I don't know why I did that; that's the reason I came to see you." Her voice was becoming shaky again.

"Well, then, let's see if we can figure that out together." The deer-buck said to her. "Now as I understand it, Craig Guilford is the son of Jerry Guilford, the coyote who tried to dump a load defoliant on the Carrot Days Festival. Am I right about that?"

"Yes, that right." Judy told him, "He was supposed to give his dad the word when Jack La Peigne showed up at the Big Dance. Jack was the one who'd served Jerry Guilford with a foreclosure notice; he was the main target."

"Right, and Mr. Guilford's plan might have succeeded, if it hadn't been for Nick Wilde, is that also correct?"

"Yes, that's ri—" Judy started to say, and then stopped, feeling her foot trying to thump again. She could see where Dr. Hind was going with this, and this time, he had it wrong.

"I'm not jealous of Nick, Doctor!' she said, and immediately recalled a line she'd read somewhere, 'Methinks the lady doth protest too much.' She was overreacting, and by more than just a little.

"I didn't say you were," the deer-buck told her, raising his hooves, "and I don't think you are. But tell me something else Judy, where were you at time that Nick Wilde stumbled onto that plot. From what I heard,, he literally stumbled onto it."

"Pretty much," Judy smiled skittishly, "but right then I was down at the Big...Dance...

Now her foot DID begin to thump, waving the air once more. Dang this deer, he had pulled back the curtain yet again!

"Ohhhh! I was...I was dancing with Jack La Peigne."

"I see," Dr. Hind said, making a note, but Judy immediately shook her head.

"No Doctor, you don't; there's a lot more to it than that. I had been trying to get Nick to dance with me all evening—but I couldn't get him out onto the floor to save my life; he just didn't want to dance, period. So, finally I got all huffy and asked Jack La Peigne to dance with me instead...wait, there's more. On the train back to Zootopia, Nick finally told me why he doesn't like to dance; it brings up a very painful memory for him. Ummm, sorry, but I can't give out any details." She wondered if she'd said too much already.

"Of course not Judy...and I wouldn't want you to," Dr. Hind assured her. "But how did that make you feel?"

Judy blinked and felt her eyes beginning to moisten again.

"Like I should have been more understanding; I had acted without thinking and kicked him to the curb. It was the press-conference all over again. I should have stuck by Nick; I should have been WITH him. Uhhh. Could I have another of those tissues? Thanks."

Dr. Hind let her blow her nose...and then he asked her, "Annnnd, how do you think that relates to your actions when you took down Craig Guilford?"

Judy didn't even hesitate, even though none of the things she was about to say had occurred to her until just this moment. "I thought Nick had done enough; he'd had to take on Craig Guilford all by himself, up on that hillside, and he'd had to figure out how to stop what his father, Jerry, was trying to do—so now it was my turn. This was my way of atoning for the way I'd acted at the dance."

"Mmm, hmm," Dr. Hind nodded knowingly, "But tell me this Judy, supposing you hadn't, errr, kicked him to the curb. Would Nick have discovered The Guilford plan in time to stop it then; would anyone?"

"N-No." Judy sat up straight in her chair, realization dawning once again, "No, he wouldn't have...and I probably wouldn't have any fur right now." She wanted to thump her foot again; might have done it too, except this time she remembered that it was hanging in the air above the floor. But why hadn't she realized this before? It wasn't the first time she'd failed to see the bigger picture. When Chief Bogo had caught up with her in the Precinct-1 Commissary, he'd reminded her of something else she hadn't considered; that if Conor Lewis hadn't been trying to evade her by going through a fire zone, he wouldn't have needed to save her life. That was her other problem, she realized.

Dang, this deer was good.

"It's called being mindful, Judy," he said, "and I can help you with that. But in the meantime I want to get back to what happened with Craig Guilford. At what point did you finally realize that you'd made a mistake in trying to take him down the way you did?"

"It was right after the Meadowlads cops put him and his girlfriend in their police cruisers," she said, "as soon as they were safely in custody that was when it hit me. We could have pulled our cruiser out onto the runway, too. I had risked my life needlessly."

"And how did you react when you realized your mistake?" Dr. Hind asked her.

Judy felt her mouth tilting sideways. "My legs gave out and I almost collapsed—right in front of all those cops from the Meadowlands Precinct. It's just a good thing Nick was there to catch me, or otherwise—Oh, sweet cheese n' crackers, THAT'S IT!"

"What now?" Dr. Hind had almost dropped his pen.

"It's...something else, Doctor." Judy waved a paw, finding it hard meet his eyes again, "Something I just remembered; it's not related to...I don't want to change the subject on you, just let it go for now."

"No Judy, I don't think so," The deer-psychologist's voice was unexpectedly firm, "if that thought you just had was enough to elicit such a strong reaction, then it's something I want to hear about—and that I think you need to talk about. Please...go ahead."

Judy took a deep breath and readied herself. She felt as if she were eight again, preparing to take the plunge from High-Falutin' Rock into the Alsetz River for the very first time. Where the heck was she supposed to begin? Well, that all depended on how much Dr. Hind already knew, and so she started off with a cautious inquiry.

"Doctor, are you aware of what's been going on with that surveillance tape of Office Wilde and me, the one from the Rafaj Brothers blood-diamond sting?"

"Yes, I am," he answered, looking mildly disgusted, "Someone posted it on Fuzztube. Chief Bogo was asking me just this morning if I had any insight as to who might be the guilty party."

"Okay," Judy nodded and took another baby step towards the cliff overlooking the swimming hole. "And are you also aware that Rock Hardesty played it on his TV show last night?"

The black tailed deer looked even more repulsed.

"Yes, I didn't see that broadcast myself, but I heard about it. Why, has there been some new development?"

"Dang, HE should be trying out for the detective squad." Judy marveled silently to herself, and then she said, "Yes, I got a phone call from my sister Erin just now, while I was in your waiting room. She told she heard Hardesty on his radio show today, saying there's a new video of Office Wilde and me...ummm, 'behaving badly.' I couldn't for the life of me figure out where it could have come from, but now I think I know; it has to be some body-cam footage of the thing I just told you about, Nick Wilde catching me when I almost fell."

"Mmmm, I can see why that would upset you." Dr. Hind was forming a pyramid with his hooves, "But may I ask how you came to this conclusion, Judy?"

She felt her eyes harden slightly.

"Well, first of all...right after Nick let go of me, we noticed that some of the Meadowlands Officers were giving us very unpleasant looks. At first we had no idea why, but then later on, we overheard some of them talking about it; they were throwing around words like 'inappropriate', 'inexcusable,' 'unwarranted', I-I think you get the idea, Doctor."

"I do," he nodded, "but what make you think that's what Hardesty was talking about, IS there a body-cam video of that incident?"

"I haven't seen one," Judy admitted, "but I'd be really surprised if there isn't. There's body-cam footage of just about everything else that happened after the Meadowlands Precinct officers showed up—and that footage I HAVE seen."

"Right, that stands to reason." The deer buck answered. With a hostile suspect like Craig Guilford, it made sense to keep everything documented; his kind of perp was also wont to cry 'police brutality' if an officer so much as looked at him crossways.

"There's more actually," Judy told him. Now that she'd started this, she figured she might as well see it all the way through. "When Nick and I were in court this morning..."

She was midway through the story when Dr. Hind blew note of alarm.

"Hold on, he put a 14-year-old kid in V-3 restraint?"

"Yep, even the prosecution was shocked," Judy told him.

"All right, but then how do you know that it was actually about you and Officer Wilde?"

Judy froze in place for a second. She had already made up her mind not to tell Dr. Hind about Judge Schatten's exchange with Nick, (and she certainly wasn't going to reveal their history,) but if she didn't tell him, how could she possibly convince him that...? Wait, there was another way.

"Because that's what Rudy Gamsbart said when he caught up with Officer wild and me after the arraignment; he asked me point blank if I'd been trying to set Judge Schatten off...and he specifically mentioned the Hardesty show." She went on to recount the rest of their confrontation with the chamois in the Courthouse Annex conference room. Dr. Hind listened and then tapped his antlers with his pen.

"For what it's worth Judy, Gamsbart's no speciest; what he is, is incredibly ambitious. He's determined to be most successful prosecutor in the history of Zootopia, and Lord help anyone who gets in his way." He slapped the pen down on the table, "But George Schatten? Oooh, I always knew there was something wrong with that groundhog, but I never thought he could go this far beyond the pale. That being said, while I mostly agree with what you and Officer Wilde said to Rudy Gamsbart, I think you could have been a wee bit more diplomatic about it. When it comes to never forgetting a slight, an elephant has nothing on him."

"Yes, I know," Judy sighed, "But you have to understand Doctor, he caught us at a bad moment; we were both already pretty upset over what we'd seen in that courtroom, especially Nick."

"Yes, of course," Dr. Hind nodded as if he understood completely, and that made Judy wonder if perhaps he didn't already know about the ranger-scout muzzle-incident. Nick had earlier confided to her that he too had once consulted Dr. Hind, (although he'd never mentioned any details.)

"Was Judge Schatten aware of the reason for that kiss at the time he made that ruling?' the deer-buck asked her. "Did he know that Nick only did it to put the Rafaj brothers off their stride? Ahhh, that was a brilliant move on his part, by the way."

"No...I-I don't think so," Judy said, "not at the time, but I'm pretty sure he knows it now."

Maybe...but that hadn't stopped him from placing that proxy-call to the Rock Hardesty radio show. Judy remembered it with a small start—and knew right away that this was something else she couldn't discuss with Dr. Hind; she had no proof that the woodchuck had been the mammal behind that call, only a gut feeling.

That was when something else hit her in the gut—like the proverbial freight-train. Oh God, no, she couldn't tell him that...and yet she knew she was going to. She was as helpless to resist as if she were trussed to pole, and being swept towards the precipice of a waterfall; nothing to do but bring it on.

She took another deep breath, felt her paws beginning to wring against each other

"Um, ah...about that Doctor. That IS why Nick kissed me....and oh my God, his breath! I don't know what he'd had for breakfast that morning, but ewwww! The first thing I did when we got outside was go find a drinking fountain and wash out my mouth. Ohhhh, it was horrible..."

Her voice faltered and slowed to halt, a mechanical toy winding down. She looked at her paws again. When she looked up, she spoke as if she were traversing a high-wire stretched over a magma pit.

"S-So, when Nick kissed me, why...why did I kind of like it, and—and why did I sort of kiss him back?"

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Author's Note:

The character of Dr. Robert Hind is based on my own, real-life brother, Dr. Robert _, who retired from practicing psychology last year. On a recent visit, I learned that he had once served as a consulting psychologist to the Kansas City PD, and had numerous counseling sessions with officers similar to the one I described with Judy, (although it goes without saying that he never named names, or discussed any of them in detail.)

I first heard the tune Conor performs in his cell,  Send Me To The 'Lectric Chair when I saw David Bromberg (Bruinberg) playing it live at a concert in Phoenix Arizona. You can find the full version of it here.

('Course Conor doesn't quite get the lyrics right.)

And finally, this latest installment comes loaded with whole bunch of Easter Eggs.