XX

Aether stirred awake in a place he was not familiar with. He was on a couch, not the scratchy inn sheets, and he was surrounded by warmth and home, not the stale air he normally woke up too, when he could get proper sleep at all. When he tried to sit up, he felt achy, his joints creaking in ways that made him groan.

But other than that, he found himself feeling more refreshed than he had in a while. He felt clear and clean, a strange sensation but that’s the only way he could describe it as. His hair was in tangled knots when he tried to run his hand through it and the sun peeked through the blinds of the window to light up the room in a soft orange glow.

It was then that the memories of everything that happened yesterday had rushed back to him. How exhausted he was, how Paimon tried to help but the more she talked and pestered, the more her voice and enter being began to grate on his every nerve. He remembers how he snapped and after seeing her crestfallen face he suddenly felt like crying. He told her to stay with Amber, that he needed a minute, and he tried to say it in the softest way possible but based on his little fairy’s expression, she was still sad.

He remembers how his heart began to burn with so many emotions he couldn’t identify all of them and he remembers the strange sensations roaming his body, but most particularly the agonizing pains in his back.

He remembers running away hoping to find someone to help him. Unsurprisingly, he didn’t really like feeling like shit, but the only person he thought to go to was you. You had helped him, told him things nobody else could, smiled at him like nobody else had. You ruffled his hair and swung your arm around his shoulders and laughed with him, so, so similar to Lumine.

It was most definitely unfair for him to think like this. You were not Lumine and it was terrible to treat you as such, like a replacement for someone you were never trying to replace, but right now, all he wanted was a touch of that same warmth that she held, that you held.

It was how he ended up knocking on your door. You took care of him, gave him good food, let him sleep in silence. He didn’t have to worry about his sister while still feeling her presence, he didn’t have to worry about feeding Paimon, knowing she was okay. For the first time since he first awoke in this world, he felt his muscles relax as he leaned against your leg, his feet stretching out along the couch to get comfortable in a way that he just couldn’t in the inn.

Now that he was awake, his head was clearer than it was yesterday, and because of that, the guilt of using you so disgustingly came back to him. After you told him he could always come to you, he still thought to think of you as his sister, as someone to give him that same comfort.

He hardly noticed when the guilty tears slid down his cheeks, blurring his eyes. He simply sat on that couch, staring, lost in thought.

That was how you had found him. You walked in, hair a mess and sleep clothes rumpled. He looked at you and horribly enough, felt that feeling well up inside of him when you rushed over, pushing his messy hair away from his face and cradling his cheeks gently as you wiped away his tears. The same thing he felt when you ran your fingers through his hair or set down that bowl of soup, or when you ushered him to the bathroom to get clean.

The warmth soon turned to a burning, swirling inside his chest with his guilt and sorrow. It was an ugly, disgusting feeling that he wished he could rip from his chest, but all he could do was cry harder. You didn’t hesitate to bring him to your chest, humming something over and over that he couldn’t identify. You stroked a hand up and down his back, an arm around his shoulders to hold him to you. He leaned his head on your shoulder, remembering the breathing you had him do yesterday to calm down.

When he pulled away after his breathing had calmed, your eyes flit around his face with worry. A hand still resting on his arm.

“I’m okay.” He mumbled. He noticed a shine in your eyes, like you were relieved that he even spoke.

“Okay.” You said back. “Do you need anything?”

He hesitated and he knew you noticed with the way your eyebrows furrowed, but didn’t say anything, leaving it up to him. Unfortunately for his moral compass, the bigger part of him that wanted your comfort still wanted to be selfish.

“Can you sit down with me? Only for a little while?” He looked down at his fingers, unable to make eye contact with such a selfish request. His fingers fiddled with the soft, fluffy blanket that you had probably pulled over him when he slept.

You smiled softly, standing up from the crouch you were in in front of him to plop on the couch next to him. Playfully pulling some of the blanket covering him over your own legs. He huffed a breath at that and you smiled wider.

“So what’s up kid? You wanna talk or is this a sit in comfortable silence kinda thing?” Your tone was playful but with the way you were looking at him, face so full of concern, he knew you’d abide by either.

It took him a while to think of the words. That happens sometimes. Sometimes there were things he wanted to say, but didn’t know how to explain. Thoughts that crossed his mind that just didn’t make sense anywhere but his head, or sometimes something was just so difficult to say it would catch in his throat and he would think a hundred times over of the correct way to say every word before finally pushing from his mouth.

“I’m sorry.” He said. That seemed like a good place to start.

You shook your head. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for, kid.”

“But I do!” He saw you purse your lips. “I’m sorry for using you for my own benefit-”

“Kid-”

His voice cracked. “And I’m sorry for treating you so terribly-”

“Aether-”

He waved his hands hysterically. “And I’m sorry for wasting your time!”

“Hey!”

He flinched and he saw you calm immediately, softening your body and voice after the firm tone it had. “No matter what you thought about what I did yesterday, you don’t have to be sorry about it.”

“But, you don’t understand.”

“Then explain it to me.” Your tone was reassuring.

He took a deep breath. “I came to you because you reminded me of Lumine and I wanted to pretend for just a moment that it was her taking care of me.” He cringed. “And I can’t believe I thought of you in such a way. I want you to know that I know you're not Lumine and I don’t want to use you as a replacement. I won’t be imposing on you like this again.”

Once again his eyes were burning holes into the blanket covering his legs. He heard you shuffling closer, but couldn’t raise his head.

“Hey.” You whispered. It was quiet and calm, non threatening and not upset. “I’m not mad at you for thinking like that. You were in distress and you wanted something familiar. If anything, I’m glad you felt safe enough to come to me at all instead of just suffering alone.” You reached down and clasped his hands between your own.

“Those feelings aren’t disgusting or wrong, it really only sounds that you’re, at least, starting to see me as a sibling figure or a friend. You can have more than one ya know? The emotions you feel towards me doesn’t take away from the ones you feel towards Lumine, and just because they’re similar, it doesn’t mean you’re trying to replace her or use me.”

“So,” he started. “It’s okay to be here?”

You chuckled wetly and it was then he noticed the tears gathering in your eyes. “Of course! I love hanging out with you, but even if you're feeling bad I’d still welcome you with open arms. It’s good you’re making connections, Aether, not just with me but with Paimon and the others in Mond. It’s important to have a support system, especially with all the bullshit going on in your life.”

Tears were gathering in his own eyes. That burning had settled back into a warmth and he found that you were right. He did see you in a similar way that he saw Lumine, but he found that what he felt with you was slightly different. He knew his sister all his life, and she knew him all of her life. They had never been separated, one never being too different from the other. But with you, even if he was ancient, you still gave off the presence of an older sibling, something he’d never had and that’s why it felt different. Same relationship, different dynamic, but still accepting and warm all the same.

He liked the way you took care of him, the way you worried for him. It gave him that sliver of familial affection he had been craving for months.

He leaned into the open embrace you had, a much happier hug than before when you had pulled him to your chest.

“That was quite heavy wasn’t it?”

He laughed at your attempt to brighten the room. “Yeah, but thank you for being there.”

You shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. You wanna talk about something a little more exciting?”

He hummed inquisitively.

“We were talking about a trip to Liyue last night. How bout we travel together?”

He shot up. “You want to travel with me? Really?”

“Yeah why not? I have a feeling you’ll make a good one if Paimon’s reviews are anything to go by.”

He smiled, unaware at the squinting you had to do because of his never ending brightness. “I’d love it if you traveled with me!”

“That’s great.” You hefted yourself off the couch. “How about we plan it a little more while I do your hair, cool?”

He nodded and soon enough a wide toothed, wooden comb was gliding through his hair. You took great care in brushing out the tangles, something about your mother being particularly aggressive whenever she brushed your hair, and made sure not to pull on his scalp. When the detangling was done, much to his disappointment, you tied his hair in a loose braid, clasping it at the end with his clip.

The two of you chatted during the whole process about the trip to Liyue. When it was going to happen, what to bring, what to do there, other than the obvious, and so on and so forth. It felt nice to talk to someone, Aether found. It was calming to have a simple conversation, easing all parts of him, relaxing the nerves on fire.

Later, when everyone had gotten properly dressed a trip to Good Hunter was required. Aether couldn't stop the small smile that wouldn't leave his face for the rest of the morning as he got unknowingly treated. Eating delicious food instead of having to make it himself and laughing with someone who wasn't overly fascinated or wary of him was a cleanse of his soul.

And when he picked up Paimon from Amber's place, her voice was more akin to music than the silverware scratching on a plate that he had previously thought of it as. Her presence only encouraged his good attitude and she bounced off of it easily.

Maybe a break really was what he needed, just like you had said.

a/n - Experimenting with perspective is fun. Don't know how well I did, but it clearly shows some favoritism lol.