Eight

"The world is such a sick place," Buddy growled. With his eyes shut, he leaned against the lockers, his foot propped up under him and his arms crossed. Without him there to see them, his admirers tended to walk slower in front of him, staring at him with puppy dog eyes and goofy grins.

Maybe it was because of the whole Rena situation, but it sickened me to watch them stare at him. Anyone whose eyes were closed left themself vulnerable to their environment. Anyone could attack him, pounce on him out of love or malice. Rena was only thirteen. She was vulnerable last night. Jeanie was my saving grace. If it weren't for her text, I wouldn't have been there, and I didn't want to think of what could have happened to Rena if I wasn't there. Who knew what the man would do to her? Who knew who would try to take advantage of her situation?

Seeing the girls watch Buddy was sad. They may have thought they weren't doing anything wrong, but I knew Buddy was sick of the attention. We both kidded around and said that there was a list of rules everyone had to follow, whether or not they were an admirer. No one could talk to him without someone else present. No one could go over to his house. But the biggest rule that had to be true was that no one could ask him out. He was "everyone's" boyfriend, whether or not he liked it.

It made sense why everyone despised me. I was his best friend, around him all the time while they couldn't. But if anyone showed me hate, he wouldn't be afraid to give them the cold shoulder. I dreaded the day something could happen that would cause us to stop being friends, but I had faith in us. We've been through so much we couldn't think of anything that would make us hate each other.

"Why do I feel negative energy spewing off you?" he smirked, his eyes still closed.

"Oh, sure, just because I look goth, I have a black aura around me. Real mature," I snickered.

As I closed my locker, Buddy reached out to grab my hand and hold it tight. "I know what happened to Rena pissed you off, but you can breathe now. You helped her through it. She's in safe hands with her brother. You can relax."

I smirked. "That's the first time you've mentioned Devon and safe in the same sentence."

"You say he's a good person, and with all the things you've said in regard to him so far, I bet he is a good person."

"But you're still skeptical."

"Can you blame me?"

I really couldn't. Despite the fact that everything Devon had done in front of me was kind, I wasn't sure what he was like when I wasn't around. For all I knew, he could have been using a persona around me to lure me into a false sense of comfort so he could hurt me. Despite the negative thoughts, I couldn't believe they were actually true. I had faith in Devon. I believed he was sincere.

The only reason for any doubt was there was because of the whole Jett situation. He had remorse for doing what he did, but he never apologized. I doubted he would. Not to mention how Jett never said anything, except that Devon was savage. Devon may fight for defense and protection, but his values could have differed from mine. His reasons for punching Jett could have been completely valid, but they also could have been inexcusable.

"I get it," I assured. "But we have to learn to give him the benefit of the doubt."

He chuckled. "I'm trying. It almost sounds as though he's coming back. Did he tell you he was?"

"No, but he invited me over for dinner tonight."

"You're kidding," he gawked. "He asked you out on a date?"

"No, no," I quickly stated. "His cousins are coming over tonight to barbeque, and he asked me to come over to thank me for helping Rena."

"Are you excited?" he slowly asked.

I shrugged. "Why not? I mean, he is my friend. I'm curious to meet the family he talks highly about. He only ever sees his cousins and sister. And his cousin owns the pretzel stand at the community center. I'd like to meet this person."

"Get a job yourself?" he snickered.

"Like Jeanie will let me get one that's not music related," I teased. "But maybe if I'm working with a friend, she'd give me a break."

Buddy smiled shyly at me, ducking his head and staring down at me softly. "Come on. Let's get to class."

There was something different about his smile. It was almost as if a part of him was insecure. I'd always known him to be sure of himself. Now, whenever Devon's name was mentioned, something would change. It was probably his concern over my wellbeing, still not fully trusting Devon with all the missing pieces to his brooding behavior. But he'd been concerned over my safety before, and Buddy was giving off a different vibe then then. It couldn't have been inferiority. Buddy had pride, but not that kind.

His smile would change when Devon was mentioned. I wasn't sure if it was to cover up his nerves over me spending time with him, but I wanted to show Buddy that I would be fine with Devon. I may have had doubts, but I also had faith. And faith was stronger.

^^^

"Buddy!" Brody exclaimed as we walked into the Clubhouse. "Welcome back! How have you been?"

"Good." Leaning down to whisper in my ear, he mocked, "Looks like Brody likes someone more than you."

"Shut up," I laughed.

Brody walked up to Buddy and hugged him. "It's so good to see you again. You know you're always welcome here."

"Yeah, but I'm not an artist or anything."

"Who cares?" he scoffed. "Once a member, always a member."

"Unless you joined a sports team," Petula stated. "Then you're banned for life."

Buddy laughed as he ran up to Petula's side. She finished painting her stroke before standing up and hugging him.

Back when we were in middle school and I had my drum lessons, Buddy would sit next to Petula and talk to her as he did his homework. He'd ask her questions about her art; they'd talk about school. They were never that close to each other, never discussing anything too personal, but they were always friendly with another. More or less casual friends. And whenever they saw each other again, regardless of the time spent apart, they could instantly pick up a conversation as though no time had passed.

"What have you been doing lately?"

"Playing a lot of video games." He smirked at me. "Torturing Mel."

"By playing video games," I snorted.

She sighed. "I wish I had time to play video games. I only ever get to play the mobile ones."

"Is art taking over your life?"

"Sort of. I also have a boyfriend now, so whenever we have the chance to spend time together, we don't waste it."

"Is he busy often?" Buddy slowly asked.

"I know what you're thinking," she groaned, "and that's not it. He's in college now, so we have different schedules. He's getting his art degree while he's waiting for his band to pick up speed."

He faced me, incredibly excited. "We should go sometime."

"I will let you know when you can."

"When we can?" I asked.

"Band's been having a bit of falling out lately, so their shows are scarce. Plus they only ever get to play at college admission parties or bars. And that's only because their bassist is over twenty-one." She giggled. "Mel, you'd love him. Trust me."

"I believe you, but I don't want to date a twenty-one-year-old."

"No, not him. My boyfriend. Sometime, I need to introduce you two. You'll love each other."

The front door burst opened with Darcy rushing inside. She snatched my wrist on her way in and dragged me to the back corner by my drum kit.

"Hello to you, too," I chortled. "What are you so giddy about?"

"You can't tell Buddy," she said as she pulled a chair next to me, "but I've met someone."

"Shut up," I gasped. "That's awesome! Where'd you meet her?"

"There was an LGBT event at Silver Lake's high school, and my mom told me to find a girlfriend. So I wound up talking to this girl who was wearing a Ghost t-shirt, and we got into this long conversation about music. We ignored all the other events set up and just talked."

"Does she play anything?"

"No, but she loves all the same bands as I do. We're musical soulmates," she squealed. "I actually ran into her at the Bubble Tea place next door, and I invited her to come see our session, but she had to go to work. But I have all these feelings in me for her, and I need to get them out."

"Okay, but if you don't want Buddy to know about her, why would you invite her over?"

"I didn't know he was going to be here until I walked in," she shrugged. "It's nothing personal, but until I know that things are going to get serious between us, I don't want him to know."

I didn't blame her. After she came out freshman year, no one wanted her to be with someone more than Buddy did. And she had a short lived relationship with one of the few other outed girls at school (back before a large group of out and proud freshman joined enrolled the next year, and a large group of sophomores, juniors, and seniors came out afterward). Buddy wound up getting so emotionally attached to the two that when they broke up, he took it a lot harder than Darcy did.

He had a bad habit of getting overly involved in his friends' relationships. It was all in good intentions, as he wanted all his friends to be happy with loving partners (hence his concern for Petula's relationship), so they hid the fact that they're in relationships until they know things are going to get serious. They don't want him to worry about their heartbreak unless it's necessary. We all figured that he would need to date someone himself so he'd back off everyone else, but he hadn't talked about dating anyone as long as I'd known him. After all, he was considered "everyone's" boyfriend.

Darcy pulled out her songbook, wanting to go over lyrics, as the group at the front of the Clubhouse laughed. Glancing over, I found everyone staring at us. Buddy stared at me, blushing. His smile was like the one he gave me whenever Devon was mentioned. Only now it was bigger, shier, and gentler.

When he registered me staring back at him, he looked back at the group, and they all laughed and whispered.

"You better not be talking about me!"

They laughed harder.

"You good?" Darcy questioned.

"Have you noticed anything different about Buddy?"

She looked at him. "As in?"

"Like, has he been staring at me weird?"

"No different from how he's always looked at you," she said. "Why? What's different?"

"I'm not sure. It feels like something's changed. Not anything big, but like... I don't know how to describe it."

"Good or bad different?"

"Neither. It's just different."

Leaning in with a smirk, she chuckled as she asked, "Oh? Are you hoping he looks at you differently?"

"What?" I deadpanned.

"You know..." She giggled. "Romantically?"

"No."

"But-"

"No. Buddy is my friend. There is nothing but platonic friendship between us. We wouldn't ruin what we have by being in a relationship. What we have now is what works."

Buddy was my best friend. There had never been any romantic feelings between us, because we'd never had that sort of chemistry. From the day we met, it was set in stone that we would never be anything more than friends. The weird behavior had to be because of Devon. He was concerned, and he was trying to hide it for my sake. They all had to be talking about how much fun he has torturing me with his Mario Maker levels. Nothing was going to happen between us. Ever.