Thirty-Seven

Nate showed up late for rehearsals because of his car stalling, so the three of us continued to talk until he came. I tried to lean off the love conversation, but the subject quickly changed as James explained his point of view when meeting Lucy, which was basically the same thing. They got along really well. There was no doubt they were really close friends. Reminded me of Buddy and I.

Once Nate arrived, we played them the song we wrote. Lucy ad-libbed her own bass line, and James figured out the melody quickly. It needed some more polishing before we would perform it, but it was something everyone liked. The gratification was an instant relief. My first contribution to the band was a success.

We then worked on the original songs. We played a few covers meant to get the crowd involved (until an album came out, it was better to use covers so the audience would feel included and not isolated for not knowing our music), but I knew most of them already, so it was a quick run through before working deeper into the original tracks. Next week would be a full run through of our first concert. In the meantime, we had to make sure we all had chemistry for the original tracks.

It was 7:42 when we finally finished. I was exhausted but riled up at the same time. I was proud of the work I'd done. The band seemed to be, too. I was relieved. First rehearsal, success.

For the rest of the week, I intended to practice my ass off. I wanted to be perfect next week for our first concert. If I had to spend an exceedingly long time drumming to get it all right, I would. It wasn't like I ever did anything else in my spare time besides drum, anyway. But now that I had a boyfriend to juggle with my friends and family, how much time would that leave me for everything?

Lucy followed Nate out of the shed, leaving James and I alone. He strolled behind the shield up to me and said, "Hey, Mel, let's get some dinner."

I jerked my head up to him. "All of us?"

"No. Just you and me."

"I don't know. I should probably get home. It is a school night."

"Yeah, but I haven't seen you eat since I got here. You shouldn't go to bed without eating something."

"I'll eat something at home-"

"Come on. It'll be my treat."

I wouldn't have minded getting dinner with James, but my only concern was Petula. While she knew I had no interest in James and that I was dating Devon, I didn't want to rub her the wrong way. I wanted to keep my relationship with James friendly, professional and platonic. That meant not getting dinner without the band. No talking about personal things via text. No getting too close for comfort. But if I was going to be in the band, I needed to become friends with James. I just didn't want to risk upsetting Petula.

James tilted his head as his smile softened. "Petula will not be upset if we get dinner. It's just dinner."

"Yeah, but dinner can mean a lot of things to different people."

"Are you thinking of this as anything except two friends getting dinner?"

"No."

"Neither do I. And neither will Petula. Please trust me when I say that she is not the jealous type. I get clobbered at shows all the time, and she never gets jealous. She knows that no matter who comes up to me, I am devoted to her and her alone. She's not going to find any harm in going to Denny's to get some late night breakfast food and talk."

I still wasn't sure. People could say a million things and feel the polar opposite inside. No matter how much she may not be jealous, that didn't mean she wouldn't be upset. And I didn't want getting dinner with her boyfriend to be upsetting.

"Mel, I really need to talk to you. I'd like to get some dinner when I do," he stated.

Sighing, I said, "Just text her we're getting dinner. I don't want it to be some secret between us."

"She already knows. She was the one who suggested it," he smirked.

I gawked. "Why didn't you lead with that?"

"Because if we're going to be in a band together, we need to learn to trust each other. That means believing me when I say that my girlfriend, who is also one of your friends, won't be jealous of the two of us getting some dinner after rehearsals. After all, we are in a band now. We're going to get closer and closer each time we see each other."

"When you say it like that, it sounds flirtatious."

"But it's not," he stated with a sly grin. "That's what you have to remember. Context is key."

^^^

As calm as James was on the way over, keeping the conversation light and breezy on the way over, I was on edge. He said he wanted to talk, but he had yet to bring up anything of importance. At least by the standards of what I would consider being important. Maybe asking about family was important to him. I told him about Jeanie, and he didn't react to it like I assumed most people at school would. He thought it was cool, even admitting to having seen a few of her videos but not caring too much.

When we sat down in the booth and finished ordering, his light attitude switched off as his eyes narrowed on me seriously. "Petula's very excited about you being in the band now."

I swallowed. "That's good?"

He nodded. "But she was telling me about how serious you are over drumming."

Was that supposed to be good or bad?

"How you're always practicing at the Clubhouse. How you're always going above and beyond to master your drumming techniques."

Why did it suddenly sound like a bad thing? Was I no longer good enough for the band?

"I think that's incredible. It's great to get your ten thousand hours in, and I know you've already got it."

I had to know. "What's the catch?"

"I'm worried about the concert next week."

That really didn't sound good. "I'm going to continue practicing on my own. I won't let you or anyone else in the band down," I quickly promised.

"I have no doubt about that, but I meant I'm worried you're going to overwork yourself into exhaustion."

Come again?

"I remember when I first started getting serious about my singing. All I ever did was sing. I was always practicing at home, singing with the radio and those YouTube karaoke tracks, and the night before my first performance at my school's talent show, I blew out my voice."

I gasped. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. I couldn't talk for a month. There was a chance I wouldn't ever sing again."

"Oh, my God."

"Yeah. I was so worried about being perfect that I blew it. I don't want that to happen to you. You did great today, and I'm really proud of all the work you do. We all felt in there. You're an incredible drummer, Mel, so please don't overwork yourself and drum nonstop so you can be perfect. My choir teacher used to tell the class that if our best performance was during the show, we didn't practice long enough. As stupid as that sounds, it's true."

"What?"

He chuckled. "It means that we work hard, and we should feel proud of ourselves. If we finally feel proud of ourselves once we're on stage, then we didn't work hard enough. You need to be proud of what you've done during rehearsals so you can continue to feel proud on stage. And be proud of what you've done so far. You're such an amazing drummer, Mel. It would be fruitless if you didn't feel it until you finally performed with a band."

"I happen to be incredibly proud of what I've done. I've worked hard to make it as far as I have. I only ever got to practice at the Clubhouse since I could never drum at home. Not when mom was around, and especially not with Jeanie constantly recording. I know I'm a good drummer, but I also know I can be better. Why shouldn't I continue to practice even when I'm not with the band?"

"That's not what I'm suggesting," he quickly ad-libbed. "I just know that you're going to want to be perfect up there, so you're going to want to practice nonstop until you are. Petula is incredibly worried about you overworking yourself, so she asked me to talk with you to help make sure you don't work yourself into exhaustion. Then all your work will be for nothing. I just want to make sure you spend your time wisely. She used to say you never wanted to date anyone until after you joined band so you could work them into your band schedule."

"I have every intention of making it as a rock star. I will not let someone impede that. I will not give up my music for anyone, especially not while I'm still in high school. I'll just live in regret for the rest of my life. It's important that now is when I work on my future career and not my future boyfriend."

"But you're dating someone now, aren't you?"

"I am. He wants me to make it, too. He's very adamant about me getting in my daily practice time. Even if it's just five minutes, it's important for me to get it in. And he respects that. I'm incredibly lucky that I have a boyfriend who is so understanding of these things. When we admitted to liking each other, he assumed I wouldn't want to date him because of my band. But I wanted to try it, and now... well, here we are."

James smiled. "You have an incredible boyfriend."

"I really do," I murmured, instantly smiling.

"It'll be good to spend more time with him. Take a break from drumming and spend time with him. You're going to have time for relationships in this band. We're going easy now since most us are still in school. We need time to relax and spend time with people close to us. And we're all dating someone- well, except Nate, but he prefers being alone, anyway."

I found it relieving to know that I would have some more time to spend with Devon. I wanted to get to that place that James and Lucy mentioned, the jelly feeling of peace where things were easy. I wanted to feel that with Devon, because if I knew anything about relationships, it was that we needed to communicate and make time for one another. And if we did both, I'd surely feel that way in no time.

Smirking, James rested his chin on his hand. "Thinking about what Lucy said about love being easy?"

I nodded. "Is it really that easy?"

"Not always. There will be struggles. But it shouldn't be a constant uphill battle. Have you heard of BoJack Horseman?"

"Weird question, but yeah."

"There was this one season where Diane and Mr. Peanut Butter were having an argument. And Diane was talking about how their relationship was like one of those funky, eye trippy pictures where you squint and see a beautiful picture. But she was tired of squinting and needed her eyes to rest. Your relationship shouldn't be you constantly feeling the need to squint to see the beauty in it. You should be able to relax your eyes. Sometimes you might need to squint, but it shouldn't be the only way to see the bigger picture- Do you get what I'm saying, or am I just rambling?"

"No," I chuckled. "That makes perfect sense."