Twenty-Five

Buddy ignored me all day at school. He didn't talk to me. He greeted Darcy as he passed by our lockers in the morning, but he didn't stop to talk. He walked up to his other friends and talked with them. And at lunch he stayed at their table. I sat in the cafeteria that day since it was raining, so the band had to practice indoors. That meant I wouldn't be able to play drums until after school, when Darcy and I practiced for the variety show.

The cold shoulder Buddy gave me didn't go unnoticed by anyone. People did talk and gossip about it. Many people claimed that I had pissed him off, but I overheard a few people correct them and say that he did something to me to piss me off instead. I wondered if Buddy had told people what happened between us, but that would have meant he was admitting his feelings for me. He would never say anything about it after I rejected him, but then again, no one would willingly take my side unless they knew why.

I sat at the drums in the band room and played mindlessly as I waited for Darcy to enter. The moment she did, she made wild hand gestures, begging me to stop.

"Buddy told me his side of what happened. You tell me yours. Go," she commanded as she pulled a seat next to me. And I told her about going to the concert with Devon instead of Jeanie and how jealous Buddy wound up being, how I got mad that he was jealous when he didn't have the right to be, and she agreed with me.

"But don't you think you were a little harsh?"

"Being nice didn't seem to help it sink in," I deadpanned. "I said what needed to be said, and I don't regret it. He has no right to be jealous of me liking someone else because he and I are not going out."

"I knew it!" she exclaimed. "I knew you liked Devon."

"Who gives a shit if I like Devon?" I groaned. "I finally joined a band. My free time is going to be very limited. I don't have time to think about being in a relationship. I don't even have the chance to be with him. We may have kissed the other night, but-"

"You what?"

"-we both agreed that we are better off as friends. Nothing is going to happen between us, and we plan to keep it that way."

"Seriously?" she sulked. "Mel, you could make time for a relationship if you wanted to."

"The only way it would really work was if he went to school with us. Otherwise, I will have no time to see him. Maybe the occasional day, like once a week, but that's not enough. If I'm going to date someone, I want to treasure them and make them feel loved and special. I can't do that fully if I only have one day a week with them."

Darcy smirked and nudged my knee with hers. "But if you had the time to date Devon- and if he did like you back, would you go out with him?"

"Yes," I stated. "I'd love to go out with him, but none of those things are possibilities right now. The moment I have my first rehearsal, I won't have any time to date. And let's not forget the most important factor here."

"What?"

"He doesn't like me back!" I exclaimed. "I will not chase after someone who doesn't like me back. That's unhealthy. I want to stay friends with Devon. We haven't known each other long enough for this to ruin everything. Not that I'm saying things between Buddy and I are ruined, but he doesn't want to be my friend right now. I can't force that from him."

"I know this sucks," Darcy cooed as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders. "I hate the idea of you two not being friends, but Buddy told me he needs some space right now. He really likes you, and he knows he doesn't have a chance with you. But there's still hope, and until that goes away, he doesn't think it's a good idea to hang out with you so much. If he's away from you, he can get the separation he needs to move on. He doesn't want to ruin your friendship for good."

"Did he actually tell you that or are you inferring?" I questioned.

"He told me." She stood up, clapped her hands, and walked over to her guitar case. "Now let's practice. Amber's gonna watch, and I want to make her proud."

I stayed well after Darcy left. I would have gone to the Clubhouse to practice, but since I was already playing, it would have been pointless to just stop and play somewhere else. This allowed me more time to practice.

I worked on one of my own solos, one that I wrote completely on my own that didn't spur from working on embellishing another solo. I played hard, throwing my entire body into the song. I wouldn't have been surprised if I looked like a rag doll, just flopping around. Or maybe more like Animal from The Muppets.

When I finished, I heard clapping by the door. I looked up, surprised to see Devon standing in the doorway. "What the hell?" I mumbled.

"I knew that was you playing. I doubt anyone else here plays drums like you do," he said as he walked up to me.

"Do I have a distinct sound or something?"

"Yeah. Rock music."

I snorted and smiled. "What are you doing here?"

"I had a meeting with Mrs. Bustier."

"Is she wanting you to come back to school?"

"Yes," he mumbled.

"Are you going to come back to school?" I knew my voice was hopeful, but I really wanted him to come back to school. I wanted him to get an education with people his age. I wanted him to stop being afraid of other people and what he could do to them. The only way to get over that fear was to put himself out there and go back to school. He needed to face the problem head on, because hiding from it wasn't doing him any favors.

"Maybe. This isn't your solo for variety show," he quickly stated.

I huffed. "No. I wrote this."

"I love it."

"Really?"

He nodded. "Is it more of a solo or how the beat to the song would go?"

"I guess it depends. It'd probably be more of a solo, but if my band wants to use it as a song, I don't mind. What do you think?"

"I like it more as a solo. You seem to get really into solos, and people would love to see you play like that."

I snickered. "You should have seen me during my audition."

"I wish I could have." He sat down in Darcy's vacant seat. "I like your drumsticks."

"Thanks. Jeanie got them for me as a congratulatory gift for making 7 Years of Blood, but I think it was supposed to be a birthday present originally," I chuckled. "But they are my new favorite. I need to wear them in."

"Is that why you were playing so crazy in here?"

"No, that's just how I play." I laughed. Slipping my drumsticks into my backpack, I asked, "Do you want to get some food? I'm starving."

"Jeanie still not home yet?"

"No, she'll be back tomorrow morning."

"At least she'll be here for the variety show."

"No. People can't know we're related."

Devon slowly nodded before he gasped. "What if we got everyone to come to Saturday's show then?"

"Why not? Unless you want to come to Thursday or Friday's show," I chuckled.

"If you really wanted me to come to all three shows, I would go."

I glanced at him. "Really?"

"Yeah. I work most mornings anyway."

"No, it's okay," I assured him. "You don't have to come to every show."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. "Positive."

As we walked down the halls, people stared at us. I could tell Devon was nervous based on how he clenched his jaw and his eyes sharpened. But as we walked past a group of Buddy's fans surrounding him, I couldn't look away from Buddy's eyes. Hurt was all I could see. Jealousy too. Maybe it was for the best that we separated ourselves for a while. Nothing may have been happening between Devon and I, but that didn't exclude the fact that Buddy had no right to be jealous.

"Did something happen between you two?" Devon asked as we walked out to his car.

A part of me wanted to lie and say it was nothing. Knowing Devon, he'd most likely blame himself, despite doing nothing wrong. But I didn't want to keep what happened between us a secret. Devon was my friend, and he knew about Buddy's feelings for me. It would have been insulting not to tell him the full story.

"Actually-"

"Devon! Is that you?"

We both jerked our heads back to see Callie, dressed in her cheer uniform, run up to him. "I thought that was you. What are you doing here?"

"I had a meeting with Mrs. Bustier."

"Oh, you should have told me you would be here. I forgot to get your number yesterday."

"Yesterday?" I questioned.

"I've joined the Clubhouse's writing group," Devon said as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I've gotten a lot of useful constructive criticism."

"He's a brilliant writer. He was sharing a short story he wrote, but my dad called me and needed me to come home, so I never got to finish it. I really wanted to know what happened next."

He smiled as he pulled his phone out of his back pocket. "Give me your number. I can send you the whole thing."

"Would you? That'd be awesome! I don't want to go a whole week not knowing what happened to the girl. Is the sun the cure they were looking for?"

"You'll have to read and find out," he smirked. "I'll send it to you later."

"Thanks, Devon. I'll see you tomorrow, Mel," Callie said before running back to her friends. They stared at us, most likely shocked that Callie would willingly talk to Devon, but if she showed there was nothing to worry about, surely some of the other girls wouldn't have an issue either.

"Is she one of Buddy's fans?" Devon questioned.

"I don't think so. I know some of her friends are," I replied as I slid into the passenger seat. "Why? Have a crush on her?"

"No. I was more curious if she was one of the girls who gave you a hard time. I doubt we would become friends if that's the case."

"That'd be stupid, wouldn't it?"

He faced me.

"I mean, I'm not looking for justice or anything. I may not like the people who are rude to me, but if they got to know me and make actual valid opinions of me, I wouldn't care as much. They mainly hate me because I'm friends with Buddy. I hate them because they give me crap for that. I'd rather get the chance to actually know them and see if I was right for hating them or not. So if you like her and want to be friends with her, make an actual opinion of her. Don't hate her unless you have an actual reason to."

"Anyone who judges you without getting to know you first is an actual reason not to like them," he coldly stated.

I felt shivers run down my back, but I ignored them. "Aren't you a real Casanova?"

He chuckled. "What you said proves my point."

"About you being a Casanova?"

"No, about wanting to actually know people before you judge them. I doubt they care about that stuff. They're prejudging you because of your relationship with Buddy. If they were worth getting to know, they wouldn't be pre-hating you. There are a lot of reasons to hate you. They should pick a valid one."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment," I snickered.

"It was," he said, smiling cheekily. "Speaking of Buddy, what happened?"

I told him about what happened after he left Saturday night. I excluded the parts about how I did like Devon, as I didn't want for him to know unless he asked. I could see Devon's heart slowly break. His eyes were glassy by the time we pulled up in front of a chain restaurant.

"It's not your fault," I stated. "I don't think I ever really saw it before, but he's always sorta been like this. Any time I found someone to be cute, he'd always joke about how I would replace him, and I told him he wouldn't be. Then I'd talk about my music and how I didn't have the chance to date, and I think that brought him some comfort. But now I'm in a band. That comfort's gone, because once I figure out my time management, I can consider dating someone."

Devon nodded. His eyes darkened as he stared at me, waiting for me to say something else. Was he expecting me to say who I liked? Was he wanting me to say that it was him that I liked? I wasn't planning to confess. One day we'd look back and laugh about how I liked him, because the moment I'd tell him I liked him, he would turn me down. I didn't want to think about losing both Buddy and Devon.

"Is there someone you like?"

"Yes."

He was going to make me say it.

"When you're ready to tell me who it is, I'll listen."