Twenty-Four

Devon and I pulled away as the song finished, and we both stared at each other. I turned my head back to the concert, and Devon did the same. But he didn't let go of me. He kept his arms wrapped around me till the end of the concert, his chin moving to the top of my head.

I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say during the ride home, so I opted to stay silent instead. He didn't say anything either, instead blasting the radio to keep the car from being too quiet.

Was I supposed to apologize for kissing him? It wasn't like I was planning on that being the way our first kiss panned out. Not that I had thought about how our first kiss would go. Had I thought about kissing him before? Yes, but it was only when I thought about having the boyfriend that I didn't have time for. I was now in a band. I had to focus on my music career and how much time it would take from me, because I didn't want to hurt my boyfriend by being too busy to spend any time with him.

Just because Devon kissed me back didn't mean that he wanted to be my boyfriend. It didn't mean he liked me. Though he said he didn't kiss people unless he had feelings for them. But he could have just been trying to be polite since I was the one who kissed him in the first place. If he kissed me first, that would have meant something completely different.

Devon turned down the radio. "I'm sorry."

"Huh?"

"For kissing you."

For kissing me? I was the one who kissed him. "No, I'm sorry. I kissed you first."

"Still. I got lost in the music, and I couldn't stop myself from kissing you back."

"Yeah, so did I." I was silent. "I'm sorry for kissing you."

"It's cool. I just... I don't want things to change. I really like you, Mel. You've become one of my best friends."

"Relax, Devon," I softly said, and placed my hand on his shoulder. "It was just a kiss. Lost in the moment. That's it. There's nothing more behind it." I knew that was a lie. I was feeling something for Devon, but I didn't want to ruin what we had, either.

Was this how Buddy felt when he confessed to me? Was this why he didn't want me to know I liked him? I knew where I stood with Devon, just as Buddy knew where he stood with me. Thankfully, excluding the kiss, Devon and I hadn't really done anything romantically. Sure, we had the fake date, and we held hands for most of it, but we acted in a more traditionally friendly way. At least not much would change if he ever found out I liked him, but I knew I had to get rid of the feelings. Opening this door meant I would feel something for someone else. I didn't want to date until I was comfortable in my role as a musician and knew what was in store for me. I had to deal with my time wisely and accordingly. There was no time for relationships. I had to forget all thoughts of dating anyone. Especially Devon.

He smiled. "Good."

Devon pulled into my driveway. A car was parked on the street. Buddy's car. I saw him sitting in the driver's seat, staring at his phone. When he saw me, he looked up and smiled, but it quickly fell when he saw who I was with.

"Is everything okay?" Devon asked.

"Yeah. He probably stopped by to see how the concert was." I exhaled. "I think he's surprised I went with you and not Jeanie." I took off my seatbelt and hugged him before exiting the car. He promised to text me before driving away.

I stepped up to Buddy's car, and he climbed out of the front seat. "Why were you with Devon?"

"Because Jeanie had to leave for California or something. She mixed up the dates, thought it was next weekend."

"So you invited Devon to go with you instead?"

"Yeah. I mean, he and Rena came over yesterday to wish me a happy birthday. I told him what happened. She mentioned Devon was a fan, and I asked him to come with me." I smiled. "What made you stop by so late?"

"I wanted to give you your birthday present, but I thought the concert was going to be over sooner."

"How long were you waiting for?"

"Ten minutes. I was about to text you I stopped by and would be back tomorrow, but then you... showed up."

I chuckled and clapped. "What did you get me?" Buddy always got me the best birthday gifts. They were never extravagant, but they were sweet and thoughtful.

The gift wasn't wrapped. It was in a frame, a sound-wave image of Billy Joel's Just The Way You Are. "I love it," I murmured, reaching out to hug him. He held on tight. "Did you want to come in?"

"Not... really," he drawled as he opened the car door.

"Oh, still needing to get your math grade up?"

"No," he casually said. "It's just... ugh. I don't like thinking it."

"Thinking what?"

"How upset I am that you took Devon to the concert instead of me," he stated.

I stared at him, deadpan.

"We're best friends, Mel. I know confessing to you made things weird, but we're still friends. We can still do things together like friends do. Go to concerts together. Get food together. Just hang out. You don't need to replace me. I understand where I stand. My feelings will eventually go away. Does that mean we're not allowed to be friends in the meantime?"

I scoffed, crossing my arms, and I rolled my eyes. "You're kidding me right now. That's what this is about? You're jealous of me hanging out with someone other than you? Buddy, of course we're still friends, but I am friends with more people than just you."

"You didn't always have other friends."

"Neither did you," I bit. "Then suddenly, you became Mr. Popular with your own damn fan club. You have other friends you hang out with when I'm not around. Am I not supposed to do the same? It's not healthy to be so dependent on another person."

"I'm not saying I want you to depend on me."

"You sure are acting like it. The moment I choose to hang out with someone other than you, you get salty and complain that you're being replaced. Isn't it a good thing that I'm making new friends?" I snapped. "You may be my best friend, but you don't get to be my only friend."

"I'm not asking to be your only friend," he argued. "I'm just pissed that you invited Devon to go with you instead. I get how sucky it was to have Jeanie leave you, but instead of coming to me to talk about it, you went to him."

"I would have invited you if it weren't for the fact that he was already over. He asked if I was going to go with you, but I asked him to come with me instead."

He scoffed. "See? I am being replaced."

"If you are being replaced, know it's in a category you were never even considered for," I snarled.

Buddy gaped at me, eyes wide in hurt.

"I kissed Devon tonight," I added. "I liked it. I like him. But I'm not planning to date him, because I want to focus on my music. I know my feelings will pass, too, but I also know that if he is with someone else, I'm not going to argue with him about how he's replacing me. That's something a petty asshole would say. So quit being an asshole, Buddy! You're not being replaced. But right now, I don't like you that much. Why can't you accept the fact that I'm never going to go out with you? I don't love you like that, and it needs to sink in."

"I have accepted that. I have," he stated. He was on the verge of crying, but he held it in. "I'm not over you yet. The moment you finally find out how I feel, you see someone else. And I know you're not going to date him. I know you're trying to focus on your music, but that doesn't change the fact that you are spending time with someone else. You're becoming better friends with him, because you want to distance yourself from me so I can move on faster. I don't like that. As long as we keep things the way they are, I'll stop."

"That's not how it works. That's the definition of insanity," I exclaimed. "If you want to get over me, things have to change. We can't keep doing the same things that caused you to fall in love with me."

"So what are you saying?" he whimpered. "Are you really not wanting to be friends anymore?"

"No!" I exclaimed in exasperation. "I love you, Buddy. You will always be my best friend. But that's it. Something needs to change so we can both be on the same page. Admit it, a part of you is still hoping that I'll fall in love with you."

He said nothing.

"That's why things need to change. But you are not being replaced," I emphasized. "I'm spending time with another friend of mine. So what if I'm seeing him more than you? I see you every fucking day at school, and all I can do is text him and see him maybe once a week."

Buddy's face stiffened. "So he's the person you've been texting?"

"You already fucking knew that."

"Yeah, but I didn't know he was the one making you smile like that."

"Why is it so bad for someone other than you to make me smile? That is exactly what a jealous person would say!"

"I am jealous!" he snapped. "I have not hidden the fact that I'm jealous at all. It's obvious that I am."

"Jealous that I have a new friend or jealous that I like someone who isn't you?" If he was jealous of the friend thing, I understood why he was worried about being replaced. But he wouldn't have argued with me over his feelings if it were as simple as that. He was jealous of me spending time with Devon because I liked him. Devon was becoming the friend I was falling for, but Buddy wanted me to love him.

He knew I would know if he was lying, so he admitted it. "I'm jealous that you like someone else," he whispered.

"Get over it," I demanded, as angry tears streaked my cheeks. "I don't owe you anything. My friendship with you does not mean you are entitled to be my boyfriend. Accept the fact that you will only ever be my friend, or leave me alone. I don't want our friendship to be toxic, but it feels like it's come down to that."

"Mel," he murmured, now crying as well. "You will always be my best friend."

"Then start fucking acting like it!" I screamed before marching back to my house. I unlocked my front door and listened to Buddy drive away.