The Moral Dilemma: Chapter 34

WE ALL TAKE our seats as we get ready for take-off, and Raf places his hand on top of mine, giving me a smile.

“It’s going to be okay,” he whispers.

I nod, taking a deep breath.

“It’s just a few hours,” I mumble—mostly trying to convince myself.

The plane takes off, and I do my best to keep my composure even though my legs are trembling. It’s only when we stabilize in the air that my fear subsides a little. I guess I might have to get used to a lifetime of plane phobia after that crash.

Cisco and Yuyu try to engage us in conversation, but neither Raf nor I seem to be in the mood to pretend that everything is fine. We can be civil, sure. But beyond that, doubtful.

I sneak a glance at them every now and then, still surprised to see Cisco acting like a human being and not like an automaton.

“When did you get the SOS?” I suddenly ask.

“We were alerted soon after the plane crashed, but it took us some time to find the crash site,” Yuyu replies.

“Quite a bit of time,” I reply dryly.

“What Noelle means to say is that we’re grateful you came for us. We can’t wait to get home, isn’t that right?” Raf turns to me, giving me a look that says Oh, well… Decisions, decisions. On the one hand, I’d love to question my brother more and see his mask slip, but on the other, I don’t want Raf to be put out with me.

“Exactly. I’m tired, and hungry and I can’t wait to sleep on an actual mattress,” I add, a little bit too sweetly—which, of course, lets everyone know that I only mean one half.

“There’s food in the back,” Yuyu suddenly gets us, bringing a bag full of food and placing it in front of us. “We knew you were going to be hungry so we got a little bit of everything.”

“Thanks,” I mutter, taking the bag and exploring some of the options. Since I am hungry, I’m not too picky, grabbing a sandwich and digging in. Raf does the same.

Yuyu regards us expectantly, almost as if she’s waiting for either of us to start a conversation. She looks so eager that I feel a little uncomfortable. So instead of rebuffing her directly and incurring Cisco’s wrath, I focus on Raf instead.

“I wanted to propose something,” I clear my voice. “How would you feel about moving out of the city?”

“Huh?” Raf raises his brows at me.

“I know we just moved into the new place but… I’m not very keen on the city. I just want us to be together, away from all the noise and conflict. We can keep that apartment for business and we can move to the house in New Port, or we could buy another upstate. I have a trust fund put aside so you don’t have to worry about the money.”

My words surprise him, but he doesn’t seem adverse to the idea.

“We’ll go house hunting after we rest,” he replies.

“Just like that?”

He nods, smiling.

“Just like that. I’m not a big fan of the city life either, and a cozy house upstate would be perfect. We’d use the condo when we need to be in the city and live upstate the rest of the time.”

“Oh, Raf. Thank you!” I squeal, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Now I can’t wait to go house shopping. It’s going to be so much fun. I want a big house, but not big. But I do want something with a lot of land, so I can set up a shooting range, and a gym. Oh, and a mini concert hall. And I was thinking maybe a cinema too?” I drone on enthusiastically. “Oh and a pool. How could I forget about a pool! But make it two. An outdoor one and an indoor one.”

He chuckles at me.

“I see you’ve given this quite a bit of thought.”

I blush.

“A little?”

“You should have told me sooner if you wanted to live somewhere else, pretty girl. We would have gotten a house from the beginning.”

“How could I do that when you were so enthusiastic about the condo?” I press my lips together, pouting. He’d put in so much effort in his surprise, how could I bear to tell him I wanted something else?

His eyes sparkle with amusement as he shakes his head lightly, simply encouraging me to continue to describe my dream house.

From the corner of my eye, I can see Cisco and Yuyu watching us closely, but I ignore them. And just like that, my fear of flying is quickly forgotten as my enthusiasm spills to the surface.

A while later, when we land, Raf is quick to say goodbye to Cisco and Yuyu and hail a cab to take us to the hospital from the airport. Even I’m surprised by how smooth he is, saying goodbye and loading me into the car before my brother or Yuyu can say anything.

We both go to the emergency room, explain the situation and wait for a doctor to look at us. After an initial examination, I’m told that I need stitches, so while the doctor patches up my wound, Raf goes to get an X-ray of his chest and a CAT scan for his head.

It’s late in the evening that we’re finally cleared to leave. Luckily, neither of us have anything too severe. My injuries are not infected, and while Raf is a little bruised, it’s nothing a little time off won’t heal.

Alas, after what feels like an eternity, we finally go home.

“Make yourself comfortable while I tell Carlos we’re okay,” Raf says, as we enter our house.

I change into a pair of black and white, fluffy panda pajamas, getting a matching pair for Raf and laying it out on the bed. Oh, we’ll look so cute together dressed in these. And since I can’t help myself, I dash to my vanity and I rummage through my drawers in search of a Polaroid camera.

“He told me Cisco contacted him and said he’d deal with the rescue,” Raf says as he comes into the room. His brows are drawn up in suspicion, but he immediately relaxes when he sees me waiting for him, all panda-ed out on the bed.

“Did he think it was odd?”

“He didn’t say, but from his tone, I assume so. If we hadn’t returned today, he would have come to Mexico himself to check the situation.”

“He’s a good friend,” I note as I watch Raf discard the borrowed clothes in favor of the fluffy panda PJs.

“He is,” he nods, smiling. “There’s no one more loyal than Carlos.”

My brows shoot up.

“Not even your wife?” I bat my lashes at him as I roll to my belly on the bed.

“You’re the exception, pretty girl.” He winks at me.

When he’s done putting his fluffy panda pajamas on, I pull him next to me in bed and I show him my polaroid camera.

“Ta-da!” I exclaim.

“What?” he chuckles.

“We’re celebrating the rebirth of our marriage with a photoshoot,” I declare confidently, snuggling in his embrace and raising my arm to capture the photo.

One after another, I take a few shots of us in different positions. Raf doesn’t protest as I ask him to move around with me to get the best lighting.

“Maybe we can do this in the morning,” he adds lightly.

“Nope.” I shake my head. “It needs to be now. I want this moment immortalized forever.”

Leaning in to kiss his cheek, I snap another picture. It’s at that moment that Raf surprises me by taking the camera out of my hands and kissing me firmly on the lips.

“There, this is better,” he smirks as he hands me the picture.

I’m about to tell him to take another one when the intercom suddenly rings.

We both frown at each other, glancing at the clock. It’s almost eight in the evening. Who would come at this hour?

“I hope it’s not my brother again,” I mumble as I get up. “I’ve had enough of him and Yuyu for a while.”

I stomp to the hallway to check the intercom camera, ready to tell Cisco to go back and leave us alone.

But it’s not Cisco…

“Who is it?” Raf asks, following me.

He stops behind me, as speechless as I am.

“That’s Lucero,” I wet my lips. “Why is she here? To poison you some more against me?”

Before Raf can say anything, I press the button on the intercom, “What do you want?” I demand harshly.

“Hi Noelle,” she says in a small voice. “Can we please talk?”

I’m about to tell her exactly what she can do—which is to get as far away from me and my husband before I find a gun and shoot her. But Raf surprises me by pulling me back and pressing on the button to allow them into the building.

“Why don’t we listen to what she has to say? You were best friends, pretty girl. Don’t you want to know what happened that day?”

“I’ll kill her, Raf,” I whisper. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop myself. Not after what she did. After Mali…”

“And I’ll let you,” he tells me as his big hands cup my cheeks. “You can kill her as many times as you want.”

“Really?” I blink in surprise.

He nods.

“But ask the questions first and shoot later.”

“Fine,” I grumble.

It’s only a couple of minutes later that I hear a knock.

Raf opens the door, keeping me by his side. His hand is on my lower back, his touch comforting and calming—especially as my emotions are raging inside of me.

“Noelle, hi,” she says shyly.

I glare at her.

Behind her is a man that I don’t recognize, and when he sees the open animosity on my face, he gives me a sharp warning with his gaze. He’s about the same height as Raf, with dark hair, dark eyes and a tanned complexion. He’s resting his right hand on the handle of a black cane, his left hand touching Lucero’s lower back.

“This is my husband, Nicholas,” she introduces him. “And this is Noelle and Rafaelo.”

No one speaks. We’re all just glaring at each other at this point—a staring competition of who has the deadliest stare.

Nicholas… Nicholas… The name sounds familiar.

My eyes slowly widen in realization and as I glance at Lucero, I realize I’m right.

It’s him. The man she was in love with all those years ago. Though how she managed to find him again it’s beyond me.

“Pleased to meet you,” Nicholas breaks the silence as he reaches forward to shake Raf’s hand. Always the polite gentleman, Raf does exactly that.

I’m still sulking behind, mentally calculating how fast I could get a gun and shoot her. There’s one in the closet by the bathroom. It will take me about a minute, maybe two. They’d be able to run.

“Interesting choice of clothing,” Nicholas comments, and it’s at that moment that my eyes flash at him. It doesn’t matter that I just now realize that we’re dressed in fluffy panda pajamas, or that we probably look ridiculous. What matters is the insult. In home.

“You…” I take a step forward, my finger pointed towards Lucero.

Raf is quick to hold me back just as Nicholas places himself in front of Lucero.

“Please let me explain, Noelle. I’ll tell you everything that happened that day. Just…”

“What are you going to say?” I grit out. “That you took my son to that sadist to be killed?”

Tears are already forming in my eyes as memories from that night flood my mind.

“He killed him in front of me,” I croak. “He him in front of me.”

A whimper escapes her at my words.

“I didn’t know…” she whispers. “I swear I didn’t know,” she releases a soft cry. “I thought you were dead…”

“I’m sure it was convenient for you to think so,” I snicker.

“We came back,” Nicholas suddenly says.

Both Raf and I stare at him.

“I was there that day, and after I took Luce to a hospital, we both came back to find the house burned to the ground. She really didn’t know you were alive.”

“What does it matter?” I shake my head. “I don’t care if you thought I was dead or alive when the fact of the matter remains that you took baby and gave it to that monster, knowing full well what he would do with him.”

Raf doesn’t say a word, but I feel the tension ricochet through him, too. He’s hurting as much as I am, but he doesn’t interfere with my grief. His hand is still on my back, moving up and down in soothing motions—his way of letting me know he’s there with me.

“That’s why I’m here. I want to tell you the truth…”

“You sure have the gall to come to house after what you’ve done,” I grit out, not letting her talk. “You should be thankful I’m not putting a bullet through your head right where you’re standing.”

“Don’t talk to her like that,” her husband speaks in a low, chilling voice. “Listen to what she has to say, or you might regret it.”

“Why would I—” I don’t get to finish my sentence when a child’s voice resounds from the back.

“Mommy, mommy,” she cries out, and it’s not long before she comes into view.

Great! Now Lucero has a child, too. She took away mine but she gets to have her own.

My entire body hums with grief, anger, and so much frustration at my own situation. She has what I’ll get to have. How is that fair?

She’s a little girl of about two or three, with blonde hair, ruddy cheeks, and a pair of startling aquamarine eyes. She’s dressed in a black dress with red fringes at the bottom. She looks like a doll—a beautiful, almost surreal doll.

A woman in her thirties trails behind her, an apologetic expression on her face.

“I tried to stop her,” the woman tells Lucero, and I quickly put two and two together. She must be the nanny and the little girl must be Lucero’s kid.

Damn it! Now that she has a child, I won’t be able to kill her.

“I think it’s time for you to leave.” I tip my chin up and say. Looking up at Raf for some back-up, I find him staring at the little girl as if he’d seen a ghost.

“Raf?” I frown.

“Mommy! Mommy,” the child keeps calling out, her small legs barely covering the distance from the elevator to our door. Yet just as I think she’s going to stop by Lucero’s side, I’m shocked when she doesn’t.

She breezes past Lucero and Nicholas, coming straight to me and hugging my lower body.

I freeze, my eyes widening in shock as I slowly look up and meet Lucero’s gaze.

“I missed you, mommy,” she continues, her little arms attempting to wrap around my legs. I instinctively bring my hand to her head, patting her awkwardly.

“I—”

. Yet the words won’t come out for some reason.

“How?” Raf finally speaks—one single word that he utters from the depths of his soul.

“This is what we’re here to talk to you about,” Nicholas says.

The little girl jumps from me to Raf, grasping onto his leg.

“Daddy, we have the same hair. See.” She points out to her head, taking one of her locks and lifting it up.

Raf and I stare at each other, baffled. But before anyone can explain what’s going on, the little girl continues with her chatter.

“Is this your superhero suit?” she asks eagerly, with stars dancing in her eyes as she looks at us. She points to his panda pajamas, touching the material with a smile on her face. “What is your power? Can you fly?” The questions are fired at such a rapid rate that I have a hard time to keep up, especially as she mispronounces some words. “Lulu told me you fight bad guys and save the world,” she gushes.

“She told you that?” I blink.

She nods fervently, taking a step back and looking at the two of us with so much curiosity and joy that my heart does a little summersault in my chest.

Just who is she?

“You’re so pretty, Mommy,” she sighs dreamily. “I wanna be pretty like you when I grow up.”

I’m still too shocked to react, my gaze meeting Lucero’s in a direct question. But Raf doesn’t seem to share the sentiment, as he bends down, scooping the little girl into his arms and pressing her to his chest.

The little girl squeals in happiness and wraps her arms around his neck.

But as I focus on the two of them, I can’t help but notice the resemblance. It’s not just the blonde hair, or her eyes. It’s everything else too. She looks like him. Like a mini version of him. But she also looks like…

My gaze whips to Lucero.

“Is this what I think it is?”

She nods.

“How is this possible?” I ask in a low voice.

“I can explain…”

“Oh, you will,” I promise.

Turning to Raf, I meet his eyes, giving him a tremulous smile just as I open my arms. He understands my meaning immediately, giving me the little girl to hold.

She comes effortlessly, latching onto me and hugging me tightly.

“You smell so nice, Mommy,” she whispers, burrowing her little face into the crook of my neck.

Tears stab at my eyes as I tighten my hold on her, feeling the warmth of her body for the first time.

“I—” My voice breaks as I attempt to speak, my throat clogged with too much emotion. “I missed you, too,” I eventually say, tears rolling down my cheeks.

“Please don’t go away again,” she says in a small voice. “I want to stay with you and Daddy.”

“You will, sweetie. No one can ever take you away from me,” I vow.

In that moment, all the pain that I’ve kept locked away in my heart breaks free. But instead of inundating my being, it liberates me. A lightness I had never thought possible envelopes me from head to toe.

She’s mine. My child. My daughter.

And as I look at Raf, his eyes as glossy as mine, I know he’s thinking the same.

She’s our child.

“I love you, baby,” I choke out.

“I love you, too, Mommy,” she replies immediately.

I don’t know what happened in the past, or how she came to be with Lucero. I only care that she’s alive and well and she’s here, in my arms.

Raf hugs us from behind, resting his cheek against mine.

“You too, Daddy. I love you too,” she says happily.

“I love you, too,” he murmurs, and I can tell he’s barely holding himself back from crying.

We stay like that for what feels like an eternity before the little girl starts to fidget in my arms. God, I don’t even know her name…

Reluctantly, I put her down, and she wastes no time in dashing into the house, all the while giggling and sparkling with joy.

“Alice, please go watch her,” Lucero tells the older woman. With a nod, she steps into the house and follows after her.

“Come in,” I tell them as I dab at my eyes. “Let’s go to the living room.”

Raf’s hand rests on the small of my back as he leads me to the sofa. As I sit down, he wraps his arm around me, drawing me closer.

Lucero and her husband sit on the opposite sofa, their hands linked together.

“How is this possible?” I whisper.

“I never meant for this to happen, Noelle. All along, I wanted to make sure Sergio would never get to your child.” She gives me a sad smile, quickly explaining what had happened the day of the fire and how she’d switched the babies.

“We came back,” she gulps down, her voice shaking. “We left her at the hospital and came back for you but… I really thought you were dead. I swear to God, I would have reached out earlier had I known you’d survived. It wasn’t until Michele showed up to my house that I realized you were alive, that you’d reunited with Rafaelo. But because Michele wanted to harm you, I didn’t think it was safe for me to do or say anything. Not when I didn’t know his intentions…”

I nod slowly, taking in all the information.

“What’s her name?”

Lucero smiles.

“Malia.”

“M—,” I croak. “Malia?” Tears stream down my face as I utter the name.

“I thought you’d approve. We never tried to take your place as her parents. In the beginning, we planned to tell her that you’d died when she was older and could understand.”

“So you told her we were superheroes?” Raf interjects.

Lucero’s cheeks redden.

“It seemed appropriate at the time. She wanted to know about her parents and I told her as best as I could. All this time she’s been thinking you were on some adventure saving the world.”

“How did she recognize us?”

“We showed her photos of you two in preparation for the meeting. She was so excited…” she trails off, a smile pulling at her lips. “You’ve always been alive in her mind, and she’s been waiting to meet you for a long time.”

I nod.

Shrugging Raf’s arm off my shoulders, I stand up on shaky legs. In two steps, I stop in front of her, dropping to my knees.

“Thank you,” I whisper, imbuing my words with all the love and gratitude I can muster from the depths of my soul. “Thank you for saving her. Thank you for taking care of her and loving her. And thank you for bringing her back to me. Thank you, Lulu, and I’m sorry I ever doubted you.”

I slowly raise my eyes to meet her teary ones.

She shakes her head, getting off the sofa and dropping onto the ground next to me.

“Don’t even mention it. You’re my best friend, Noelle,” she whispers. “I just hope you’ll forgive me for taking so long to find you again.”

I wrap my arms around her, bringing her to my chest.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you,” I murmur.

After we’ve both calmed down a little, Lucero and Nicholas tell us more about Malia’s upbringing so far and how they’d tried to keep our memory alive. From what I can tell, my little girl’s never lacked for anything and it’s all due to Lucero and her big heart.

“I am at a loss for words, Lulu. Truly…” I trail off.

“Thank you,” Raf adds solemnly. “There are no words that can do justice to how grateful I am—we are—to you. Anytime you need something, please let us know. You’ll always be welcome in our home.”

I nod effusively, giving both of them a warm smile.

Right at that moment, Malia runs back into the living room, her nanny on her trail.

“Mommy, Daddy, where’s my room?”

I turn to Raf, and we both stare at each other in uncertainty.

“We’re going to look for a new house and you can choose your favorite room,” I decide to tell her—the only truth I can muster.

“Really?” Her eyes grow big with wonder.

In no time, she runs to our sofa, squeezing herself between me and Raf.

“I can’t wait,” she declares in that sweet voice of hers, and my heart clenches in my chest.

“Do you want to stay here tonight, Malia?” Lulu asks her.

“Yes!” She says at the same time as Raf and I answer with, “Of course.”

Lulu nods, looking back at Alice and giving her a nod.

“Alice will bring up Malia’s luggage. We didn’t pack all of her stuff for this journey but I can have her things sent over and…”

“Don’t worry about it, Lulu. We’ll take it one day at a time,” I assure her, knowing this can’t be easy for her either. For God’s sake, she’s been raising her for the last three years. How could she not have gotten attached to her?

“You’re welcome to stay the night too,” Raf offers. “We have a guest bedroom you can use.”

I smile at his thoughtfulness. This way Malia will feel safer, since for all intents and purposes we are strangers to her in as much as Lulu and Nicholas are familiar to her.

“Thank you, but we have an apartment not too far from here. Nikki hates sleeping in foreign places,” Lulu answers, patting her husband’s thigh. “But we’re going to stay in the city for another week to make sure everything is fine.”

“Why don’t we go shopping tomorrow?” I suddenly suggest. “We can all go and spend the day together.”

“Shopping?” Malia repeats, her eyes sparkling. Well, she didn’t inherit from me.

“She loves shopping,” Lulu adds under her breath.

“Then it’s set.” I smile. “Why don’t you guys come with us? I’m sure Malia would appreciate your presence.”

Lucero and Nicholas share a look after which she shakes her head.

“I think you two need some alone time with her. You don’t mind that, do you, Malia?”

“No.” She shakes her head. “I want shopping with Mommy and Daddy,” she says categorically, and just hearing her call us Mommy and Daddy fills me with unspeakable joy.

“Then that’s what we’ll do, baby.” I smile as I pat her head affectionately.

I note the sadness on Lulu’s face as she gazes at Malia, but it’s to be expected since she raised her since birth. The fact that she’s not even trying to insert herself into Malia’s life in any way just reinforces how wrong I was about her. She’s always been selfless in a way I could never understand, but this makes me have a new respect for her.

Since Lulu and Nicholas are staying in the city for another short while, we make plans to meet the following day for dinner at their place. We chat for a while longer after which they turn to leave.

Surprisingly, Malia doesn’t seem fazed by it. If anything, she’s waving vigorously at them, telling them goodbye as if she’d lived with us all along.

“Are you tired, baby?” I ask her when we’re finally alone.

Both Raf and I are a little awkward at first, but Malia isn’t. For some reason, she’s absolutely comfortable with this. I wonder if it’s because Lulu’s always told her about us, or because she’s so young she doesn’t realize what’s happening.

“A little,” she yawns.

“Did you eat? Do you want to eat something before bed?” Raf hurries to open the fridge and see what’s inside. We didn’t get to stock it when we got back so it’s a little… empty.

“No.” She shakes her head. “I want to sleep.”

“Okay. Let’s sleep then.”

I turn to grab her luggage and unpack it. Raf does the same. We collide at the same time, and I reel backwards.

“Easy,” he murmurs.

Malia, on the other hand, giggles from the side.

“Can I have a suit like that, too?” She points to our pajamas.

“Of course. We’ll buy you one tomorrow.”

“Yay!” she exclaims, coming around to watch us unpack her things.

She shows us what she usually sleeps in and I set about helping her change.

“Raf,” I whisper, grabbing his attention.

He moves closer, his eyebrows raised.

“She needs to shower, no?”

“I’d assume so,” he answers pensively.

“How do you shower a kid?”

He blinks.

“Well…”

We both turn to Malia, blinking as we study her. She’s almost three. How do three year olds shower?

“I think I need to shower her,” I add after a moment.

“I’d assume so.” He nods.

At the same time, Malia is looking at us with a mischievous grin.

“Okay, wish me luck,” I take a deep breath.

He chuckles behind me as I swoop her into my arms and take her to the bathroom for a shower. Surprisingly, she doesn’t complain. Instead, she’s all smiles as she compliments the scent of my soap and shampoo.

I may not be too familiar with how kids her age behave, but so far she’s been nothing but easy-going. Maybe it’s the newness of the situation. But the funny thing is that are more awkward than she is.

“Look how pretty you are,” I whisper in awe as I brush her hair after I’ve washed it. “I can’t believe how pretty you are.”

I can’t help the moisture that accumulates at the corners of my eyes. She’s the most beautiful thing, her features are a mix of me and Raf in the best way possible. God, but seeing her like this, in the flesh, makes my entire body hum with the most elusive pleasure.

“You’re pretty too, Mommy,” she giggles, and that sweet smile of hers threatens to become my undoing.

I dry and braid her hair before helping her into her pajamas. When we go to the bedroom, Raf is awkwardly pacing around, waiting. When he sees us, he stops, his lips tipping up into a hesitant smile.

“Would you like to sleep with us, baby?” I ask her.

“Yessss!” she exclaims just as she throws herself onto the mattress.

I smile and shake my head as I get in bed on one side, Raf on the other, placing Malia in the middle. She seems very happy with her spot and she cuddles close to us.

“I’m so happy you’re here, Mommy, Daddy,” she murmurs, releasing another yawn. Somehow, I don’t think she realized how tired she was until she got in bed.

“We are too, baby. You have no idea how much,” I say as I meet Raf’s gaze.

We hold ourselves utterly still until she falls asleep, watching over her with the trepidation that we might blink and she’ll be gone.

“This is real, isn’t it Raf?” I say in a low voice, careful not to disturb her.

“It is, pretty girl.” He nods, his eyes glossy. “I think this might be the happiest day of my life,” he confesses thickly.

“Me too.” I reach for his hand, needing his touch and his assurance. “She’s our daughter, Raf. She’s alive and she’s our little miracle. She looks so much like you…” I trail off, swallowing hard. “I love her so much my heart is about to burst,” I admit, emotion clogging my throat.

“I know.” He smiles. “I love her, too. I love . Thank you for the most wonderful gift,” he says as he leans in to lay a kiss on my forehead before doing the same with Malia.

And just like that, all three of us in one big embrace, we go to sleep.