: Chapter 36

“

he deadline to apply to NYU is coming up,” Caleb tells me once we’re settled in Robert’s classroom. “You don’t want to be stuck not having applied anywhere.”

I set down my paintbrush. “What’s this about?”

“You seemed excited to see the school.”

“I always thought I’d just get a job after high school. What’s the big deal?”

He meets my gaze. “What about your future? Don’t you want to dream bigger?”

“That ended the moment I was put into foster care,” I tell him. I had dreamed bigger—of course I did. But I stopped. I forced those dreams to go away, and now I can’t remember them at all. “And yes, the Bryans keep telling me they’ll help. But I don’t know what I want to major in. Attending an expensive school before I figure that out seems silly.”

Robert pauses in front of us. “Is there a problem?”

I blush. “No.”

“Margo isn’t sure she wants to go to NYU,” Caleb tells him. “I was trying to convince her to apply.”

“Margo,” he chides. “You should at least apply. Give yourself some options.” He’s quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry, we should’ve discussed this more after the open house. Most deadlines are January first, which gives us a few weeks to tour more schools, if you wanted. NYU might be different. Or, you might change your mind after you talk to your dad.”

I stiffen.

There’s one thing I’ve managed to keep from Caleb. Two, now. The first is that I wrote my dad a letter a few weeks ago.

The second is that I got a reply yesterday.

After sharing with Robert and Lenora, they agreed that Robert could take me over to the prison for visiting hours on Saturday.

The big championship game is tonight, and I asked them if I could sleep over at Riley’s house. Of course, I’ll most likely end up in Caleb’s bed… if he doesn’t stop looking at me like that.

I dip my head to get Robert to move on, which he does, then peek at Caleb.

“What?” I question.

“Don’t be so defensive, baby,” he replies coolly. “You’re allowed to see your dad.”

“I know.”

“Didn’t think you would hide it from me, though.”

I face him. “I was going to tell you tonight.”

“Just blurt it out when I was fucking you?” He leans in, his eyes gleaming. “When I wouldn’t be able to get pissed? Or, no, when me getting angry would benefit your pussy?”

My face heats. “That’s not it. I didn’t think you’d react this poorly in general.”

He scoffs.

And, yeah, maybe I should’ve seen this coming.

“I just decided yesterday,” I tell him.

I pick up my paintbrush again, dipping it into the sky-blue acrylic paint. We’re working on cloud formations, using the actual clouds out the window as inspiration. It gives me an excuse to face away from Caleb.

“You’re going to regret it,” he says.

My shoulders lift a fraction.

The truth is, I don’t really care if I regret it. My dad knows things—I’m positive he does. I’m not getting answers from anyone else. Tobias Hutchins’ phone has been disconnected, all signs of his online presence wiped.

Caleb says my mom is in town, but I haven’t been able to find her either.

He won’t give me answers.

Which leaves my father.

I swallow around the lump in my throat, gazing at one particularly fluffy cloud and trying to figure out where to use darker colors.

“How’s your portrait coming along?” Caleb asks. “Seeing as how it’s due soon.”

I eye him. “Almost done. You?”

“Finished.” He smirks. “I can’t wait for you to see it.”

My cheeks heat. I don’t know how Caleb sees me, and up until right now, I was eager to find out. I think I can hold off a bit longer, though.

I hum noncommittally, and he laughs under his breath.

The rest of the class flies by, and soon enough the bell rings to dismiss us for the day. I wave goodbye to Robert, who tells me to be home by noon tomorrow. In the hallway, Caleb takes my hand. Our fingers lace together.

The energy in the halls is palpable, kids rushing by in ERE colors. The football players are grinning, bouncing on their heels. They move in a pack toward the locker rooms.

And yet, no one knocks into us. They skirt around Caleb and me like we’re protected by a forcefield.

The advantage of being Caleb Asher, I imagine.

Riley and Eli meet us at my locker.

“Are we all riding together?” Riley asks.

Eli bounds beside her. Caleb’s energy is more contained, held like a jar full of bees in his chest. I feel the same way. My limbs won’t cooperate, and we’re on the edge of a cliff.

It isn’t just the game either, or the night ahead of us. It’s tomorrow. I’ll be seeing my father for the first time in seven years. And if I let myself think about it, I’ll work myself into a panic.

Like what do I say? What do I wear?

“Focus,” Eli says to me, snapping his fingers in front of my face.

I jerk back and scowl.

“Yes,” Caleb answers Riley. “We’ll drop my car off at Ian’s house and ride together. Then we’ll be able to leave from the party whenever we want.”

I nod at his rationale.

“Great,” Eli hoots.

I slam my locker, books unloaded, and we join the throng of students exiting school. The pep squad—girls who weren’t able to get on the cheerleading team, apparently—has decorated the front of the building with signs and balloons.

We’re going to state!

Go get ’em, ERE!

Our mascot is a gold-and-black eagle, but it’s only used for sports. Liam mentioned that the school prides itself on the silver crest logo that appears on all documents and emails, hiding away from the fact that it even has a mundane mascot.

“An eagle isn’t mundane,” Eli had yelled. “It’s fucking majestic.”

Right.

Off to the side of the lot, cheerleaders are decorating two buses. I nudge Riley and lift my chin in that direction, and she makes a noise in the back of her throat.

“Party bus and athlete bus,” she says. “Football players and cheerleaders all ride together, and the party bus is for anyone who doesn’t want to drive to the game.”

“Ah.”

She grins. “The state championships are a big deal.”

“Right.”

Caleb squeezes my hand, laughing as I wave goodbye to Riley. We’ll see them in a few minutes anyway. Apparently the no-driving rule only applies when Mrs. Black is home to see Caleb leave for school.

I lean over and touch his cheek, guiding his mouth toward mine.

The kiss is sweet and slow, and I pull back slightly. His eyes are already open, focused on mine.

“What was that for?”

“I can’t kiss you when I want?”

In truth, I have a weird feeling in my chest. I’m anticipating the distraction of tonight.

He smirks. “You can, but you don’t usually kiss like that…”

I bite my lip and ignore the heat that floods through me. I press my thighs together, trying to be subtle about it.

His eyes darken. He misses nothing.

“Maybe we should take a detour,” I suggest.

In response, he starts the car and pulls out, tires squealing. He takes me to the lookout we once went to and parks in the corner. There aren’t any other cars. I thought, once, that he was going to leave me here.

He pushes his seat back and pats his legs. “Get over here.”

Once I’m settled on his lap, my knees on either side of his hips, I kiss him again. I want the distraction. For him to take me to another place.

“Does this count as strenuous activity?” I tease.

His hands skate up my sides, over my uniform shirt. He undoes the buttons one at a time, revealing my white camisole and nude bra. He takes his time scanning me. His dick hardens against my thigh, and I can’t hide my wicked smile.

I like turning him on. Affecting him as much as he affects me.

I’m also glad I wore the skirt today, even if it’s freezing out.

He unclips my bra and pushes down the cami, exposing my breasts. He guides me forward and puts his mouth on my nipple, his tongue flicking out. I let my head fall back and suck in a deep breath.

He continues his assault, his hand going to my other nipple. He rolls it between his fingers.

“Fuck,” I exhale. “You could make me come like that.”

He chuckles, barely leaning back. “Yeah?”

He renews his assault. His teeth graze my breast, and fire spreads through me. I grind on him, unable to stop myself.

“Caleb.” I think we’ve just decided condoms aren’t for us. I just… I know it’s silly, but I don’t want anything separating us. I take my birth control religiously, so… “Fuck me.”

He tips his head back and grins. “Eager, are you?”

I grab his face and slam my lips to his, showing him just how eager I am. My hands go to his pants, unzipping them, then navigating his hard length out. He jumps in my hand.

He tugs my panties to the side.

I’m soaking wet. His finger pushes into me, curling, and my eyelids flutter.

His hands go to my hips, lifting me slightly, and he slides in. We both groan. He just… fits. Perfection.

“Fuck, baby,” he growls, claiming my lips again in a quick kiss.

His teeth drag against my lower lip. There’s no more talking after that. We stare into each other’s eyes. He guides the pace, slamming me down on him. Our faces are close enough that we could kiss if either of us moved a fraction of an inch closer.

He leans me back and suddenly hits a whole new spot. My mouth parts. I hang on to his shoulders, letting him press me back on the steering wheel. He darts forward, leaving a trail of kisses down my throat, my collarbone. He bites my breast, then soothes it with his tongue a second later.

Kiss.

Bite.

Lick.

My fingers slip into his hair, tugging. I’m coming undone, thread by thread. Falling apart in his hands. He sucks on my nipple, and that’s it.

His gaze flies up to mine. I shatter. My whole body pulses. He grabs my chin, forcing me to look at him as the orgasm sweeps through me. I don’t realize we’ve stilled until I slowly come back.

“Hold on,” he warns me.

He grips my waist and thrusts his hips up. I tighten my grip on his shoulders, and he pounds into me without restraint. Chasing a high.

A minute later, he freezes, his eyes on me. He groans.

We stare at each other.

I’m caught entirely in his web.

…and then reality returns. The game. The party. And tomorrow.

He catches my face in his hands. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Disappear again.”

“I’m not.”

“You won’t,” he corrects. “You’re trying to do it now.”

Bossy as ever.

“Say it.”

I sigh. “I won’t disappear again.”

He squints at me. “No matter what happens tomorrow. No matter what happens with my family or our past.” He shakes his wrist, drawing my attention to his bracelet. “You promised.”

I smile, running my finger over his bracelet. The fact that he wears it openly, unashamed, makes my heart sing. “I did promise.”

He kisses me once more. “Good. Let’s go have some fun.” He looks down at his lap, where we’re still connected.

“Unless you want to skip the game and do more of this?” I ask hopefully.

He laughs. “If we don’t make an appearance, people will talk.”

“Talk isn’t the worst thing in the world.”

“If only you believed yourself.”

I climb off him and pitch myself into the passenger seat with a groan. He hands me my bra, then panties. He tucks himself back in his pants. Once we’re both more put-together, he winks and drives out onto the road.

First to drop off the car at Ian’s house, then onward to Lion’s Head.

Why does it feel like we’re about to walk into the enemy’s lair?