Chapter Forty

Seeing Yaz had been as wonderful and excruciating as Ravi had known it would be. He could’ve told her that he had walked to her door a dozen times but had been unable to knock. He could’ve told her that he’d asked everyone for updates about her.

But he didn’t, and he wasn’t sure why.

As soon as they entered the kitchen, the Mountain Elves there were quick to give Yaz anything she wanted. They had finally warmed up to him, but he wasn’t as welcome as Yaz. And he couldn’t blame the elves for that. She had an openness about her that he never could. It worked well for him as an agent but not so much around others.

Ravi was content to sit and watch Yaz as the elves fussed over her. It did his heart good to see her soft smile and hear her smooth voice—both of which he had thought lost to him forever. Once the table was laden with food, the elves returned to their duties, leaving him and Yaz and the awkwardness he couldn’t eradicate. It was worse than their first meal together, and he knew it was his doing. ~He~ was making things uncomfortable.

Yaz, who had never been bothered by silence, began filling it with inane conversation. He could stop it all if he just told her that he had feelings for her. He didn’t know what kind exactly, but they were there. It had begun before they even reached Shaldorn.

But he didn’t have relationships. They got in the way of his work. His emotions had clouded his judgment at Shaldorn, and they would continue to do so if he didn’t cut them off immediately. He’d been attempting to do just that.

Except, he didn’t want to. He wanted to finish what he and Yaz had started at the compound. He wanted another kiss.

“I’m sorry,” he said over her.

She looked up from her plate, startled. Her dark blue eyes searched his. “For?”

Why were the words so hard to say? Why couldn’t he just tell her? “I’ve a lot on my mind.”

“Understandable.”

Another silence was growing. He needed to fill it. And quickly. “The children from Shaldorn have been returned to the cities and villages they were taken from.”

“I’m glad. You did a good thing.”

“It was Arya who got them out.”

“It was a team effort.”

Ravi grunted as he sat back in his chair, pushing his half-eaten food away. He hadn’t been hungry but wanted more time with Yaz. “Funny. I never would’ve imagined working with Dain or any Dark before, but they came through when I needed them.”

“Like I said. A team effort.”

“I wouldn’t exactly call Dain a friend.”

“Wouldn’t you?” she asked with a grin.

Ravi shrugged. “I wouldn’t have before, but I might now. Just don’t tell him I said that.”

Yaz laughed softly. Seeing her eyes light up brought a grin to his lips. It was the first time he had heard her laugh. She barely smiled, but he had made her laugh.

“My lips are sealed,” she promised.

His lips parted, ready to tell her how beautiful she was. He was interrupted by the kitchen servants appearing to take away their plates. The next thing Ravi knew, he and Yaz were walking unhurriedly down the corridors.

“Are you helping Manu search for Gita and One?” she asked.

Ravi snorted. “I couldn’t keep up with him. The only reason I was able to before was because Dain used his shadows.”

“I realize I must bring you back to Rannora to fulfill my contract. I’m sorry if I’ve held you up. I’m sure there is another assignment waiting for you.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for.” He didn’t plan on going anywhere until she was ready. No matter how long that took. But she had brought up the future, and he couldn’t stop his thoughts. “What will you do once we return to the city?”

“I can’t continue to allow the children to starve and live in the same atrocious ways we have. They deserve better.”

“You aren’t leaving them, are you? I thought you cared about them.” The last came out harsher than intended.

Yaz shot him a sad smile. “I’ve not been doing a very good job, though. I don’t want them going back to their previous families, but I don’t know if they should remain with me.”

“No one could love them as you do.”

“I love them with all my heart, and I want them to be happy. But that won’t be the case if things continue as they are. There is nothing for us in Rannora.”

Ravi had been afraid she would say that. He almost said ~he~ was there, but what could he offer her and the children? He was always gone. “Leaving has always been what you’ve wanted.”

“I want to make sure Durga wipes my slate clean.”

“She will.” Ravi would make sure of it.

They faced each other when they reached his room. He was close enough to see the dark blue around her irises. He yearned for her. Ached in a way he didn’t think possible. It was agony not to reach for her and pull her close. To claim her lips.

But he wouldn’t stop there. He would take it all, claiming Yaz as his. Then, he would find a way to bind her to Rannora so she would never leave. Yet he had nothing to offer in exchange. He couldn’t give her something he didn’t have.

It took every ounce of willpower he had to remain where he was.

“You should rest,” he said and turned to walk away.

~ ~ ~

Yasmin stared at Ravi’s retreating back. She opened her mouth to call out to him but didn’t know what to say. Maybe it was better that things ended like this—if there had been anything to begin with.

She reluctantly walked to her room. Her mind was filled with thoughts of Ravi and their conversation. He had been withdrawn and quiet through the entire meal. He hadn’t been much better on the walk back, but at least he had spoken.

He was different now. Or perhaps the Ravi she had come to know on the mountain was the different one. Maybe she was now seeing who he truly was.

Memories of their time together flashed in her head. The way he had held her as they slept. The way he had stroked her face to calm her. How he had protected her as they walked through Shaldorn.

And the kiss.

It all came back to that kiss.

~ ~ ~

Ravi pushed away from the door and forced his feet to take him farther into the room. He had nearly thrown open the door and called Yaz back. He halted in the middle of the space, gazing at the bed. His mind conjured images of him and Yaz tangled together. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore his desire. But he couldn’t.

Because he couldn’t stop thinking about Yaz.

He wanted to bellow and shout and hit something. Hard. There had never been a time in his life that he had felt so bereft. He didn’t want to feel whatever it was banging against his chest. Yet it was there, and it didn’t seem like it would go away anytime soon.

What was he supposed to do? Being around Yaz was too painful. He’d barely made it through their meal. He couldn’t wait for her to get stronger on the chance they would run into each other again. Ravi groaned as he thought about making the return trek to Rannora with her. He wouldn’t last an hour alone with Yaz.

Ravi briefly thought about looking for Dain. Maybe the Dark was still in Navara and would be up for sparring. It might help to ease some of his tension. There was a chance he would run into Yaz again. Or worse, go to her room.

He yanked off his shirt and wadded it in his hands. After a moment, he snapped the shirt open and carefully folded it before laying it over the back of the chair. Ravi took a step toward the tub when he heard the door open. He looked over his shoulder and spotted Yaz. Shock ran through him at the sight of her. He was afraid to move, scared that she would vanish.

She softly closed the door and took a few steps forward. “If you want me to leave, tell me.”

Leave? Ravi wanted to bar the door to keep them inside and everyone else out. He turned to face her, his heart pounding like a drum against his ribs. He managed a few steps before he paused. If he got any closer, he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands from her. He needed to know why she’d come before he gave in to his burning desire.

Yaz closed the distance between them. She was so close he could feel her heat. Unable to stop himself, Ravi gently touched her face, afraid it was an illusion, and she would fade.

His fingers brushed her soft skin. And in that instant, he was lost.

To her.

To the longing.

To the feelings he couldn’t stop.

He brought a hand to her back and drew her against him as he lowered his head. Her eyes closed just before their lips met and briefly lingered. He cupped the back of her head with his other hand as he slid his tongue between her lips. She melted against him with a low moan. His balls tightened at the sound. Ravi deepened the kiss, needing more. Needing all of her.

And she held nothing back.

The kiss was everything he knew it would be. And everything he feared. With one taste, he was hers, body and soul. Utterly.

Completely.

By the time Yaz ended the kiss, they were both breathing heavily. He tried to pull her back for another, but she took his hand and led him to the bed. Once there, she held his gaze as she removed her shoes. His blood heated, scorching him from the inside out. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she removed her pants and then her shirt.

He sucked in a breath as she stood for a moment in her undergarments. She held up a finger to stop him when he reached for her. Ravi gritted his teeth and held himself in place as she took off the last items.

Ever since he had woken with her naked body against him, he had imagined her curves. Now, he finally got to see her amazing body.

His gaze locked on her full breasts. Ravi groaned as her dark nipples pebbled beneath his stare. His gaze dropped to the triangle of dark curls nestled between her legs. He couldn’t wait to spread those shapely limbs and wring cries of pleasure from her.

Ravi pulled her to him and claimed her lips in another heated kiss. He was well acquainted with lust and a quick fuck. That wasn’t what he wanted this time. Not with Yaz. This was something different, something ~more~. He tempted fate by exploring whatever it was, but there was no turning back for him.

Yaz tore her lips from his. She was breathless as she said, “I need to see you. To feel you. All of you.”

He hastily shucked his boots and wrenched off his pants and undergarment to have them skin to skin again. His touch was gentle when he brought her against him. A moan escaped when she rested her palms on his chest before smoothing them up and over his shoulders. Her touch was light and sensual. He watched her face as her eyes followed her hands down his arms to his wrists. His fingers curled into her hip when she leaned back to trace her fingers along his stomach.

Then lower.

“Yaz,” he said in a strangled whisper as her fingers inched closer to his aching cock.

Her gaze clashed with his as she closed her fingers around his arousal. He moaned as she moved her hand up and down his length. A small smile curved her lips when he rocked his hips forward.

If she could play, then so could he. Ravi locked an arm around her while his other slid between her legs. He groaned at the wetness that met his fingers. He found her mouth and kissed her deeply. His tongue tangled with hers just as he parted the folds of her sex and found her clit. A tremor went through her. Yaz’s breath hitched as he circled the nub with a light, slow touch. It wasn’t enough, though. He wanted her laid out so he could touch and explore at will.

Ravi gently pulled her hand away before he lifted her. Her legs wound around his waist as she gazed at him. The desire he saw reflected in her eyes sent a thrill rushing through him. Her hands returned to his face as she gently touched his cheeks and jaw. The pads of her fingers lingered on his lips. Then her hands were in his hair.

Her fingers ran over the points of his ears. At one time, their differences would’ve mattered to him. And to her.

His thoughts halted when her lips met his. Her hungry kiss made him wild with need. Ravi turned and backed up until his legs hit the bed. He sat on the mattress and caressed a hand over her shapely bottom to the curve of her back. The tip of her braid brushed his hand.

Ravi leaned back to look at her. “I want your hair around me. I’ve dreamed of running my fingers through it.”

She grinned and pulled the plait over her shoulder before tugging off the strip of leather binding. Her eyes never left his as he deftly freed her long tresses from the braids. Once her hair was free, Ravi sank his fingers into it. The locks were soft and cool to the touch, the weight heavier than expected.

Yaz closed her eyes and dropped her head back, exposing her throat. He placed kisses along the slender column and down to where her pulse beat erratically. Her answering moan had his cock jumping in expectation.

Ravi held her firmly against him as he turned to lay her on the bed. He looked down and saw her passion, raw desire reflected at him. Emotion threatened to overwhelm him. As if she knew, she drew him down for another scorching kiss. He would never tire of her taste. She was decadence and bliss. Splendor and sincerity.

And he knew there was no other like her.